In This Together - Same But Different

Bernadette Dancy and Liz Goodchild
  • 5.0 (15)
  • Mental Health

Welcome to In This Together: Same But Different. Hosted by Liz Goodchild, Coach and Supervisor, and Bernadette Dancy, Stress Management Coach — two friends, two coaches, two humans — this podcast is about the weird, lovely, maddening reality of being alive. This is not a self-help podcast…even though, yes, we are coaches. We're not here to dish out any how-to guidance or advice, and there'll be absolutely no magic answers or "do this and your life will change" kind of stuff. Each episode is a real, human chat from two perspectives - so you can feel less alone, a little more understood, and maybe think, "Oh… me too." Come as you are. We're here to keep you company. Because we're In This Together: Same, But Different.

  1. 2 days ago

    "Social" Media: Our Love/Hate Relationship with it

    The Battle of Social Media: Stay, Leave or Do It Differently? Is social media bringing us together — or quietly pulling us out of our own lives? This week, we’re having a very same but different conversation about our relationship with social media. Liz has barely used Instagram all summer. There was no grand digital detox and no dramatic announcement; she just stopped opening it, and noticed that she felt more present in her actual life. Bernie has gone in almost the opposite direction. She’s decided to show up more online, particularly for her work, but without bending herself into whatever shape the algorithm currently demands.  From there, we get into the much messier question underneath it all: what is social media actually doing for us — and to us? We talk about curated lives and comparison; the strange feeling of knowing huge amounts about people we don’t actually know; whether watching someone’s Instagram Story can trick us into feeling as though we’ve genuinely checked in with them; online friendships and community; creativity; AI-generated content and the growing difficulty of knowing what’s real; social media as a tool for small businesses; algorithms, trolls and digital noise; and why sometimes stepping away is simply the right thing to do. We also talk about something both of us are trying to navigate as parents: raising children in a world where even if they don’t have social media accounts themselves, we can’t completely control what gets shown to them by friends, algorithms or other devices. There’s no “delete Instagram immediately” conclusion here. And there’s definitely no “social media is wonderful” conclusion either. Instead, we land somewhere much more personal: When I use it, how do I actually feel? Connected? Inspired? Amused? Supported? Or just… a bit crap? As ever, we’re figuring it out while we talk. In this episode we talk about:Taking a break from Instagram and noticing what changesSocial media as connection versus social media as noiseWhy algorithms, hooks and trends make us both want to rebelShowing up online authentically when you run a businessComparison, body image and mental healthOnline friendships, community and “checking in” without actually checking inAI-generated writing, images and videos — and the erosion of trust onlineUsing social media intentionally rather than automaticallyParenting, smartphones, YouTube, WhatsApp and unwanted online contentHelping children develop digital and media literacyWhy neither of us thinks social media is simply “good” or “bad”Bernie’s move towards Substack and a more old-school style of publishingAnd, naturally, sending pigeons and knitting jumpers as alternative podcast marketing strategiesContent warning:This episode includes discussion of burnout and suicide, graphic violent content encountered online, pornography and sexual content in the context of children and online safety. We’d genuinely love to know where you land on this one. What does social media give you? What does it take from you? Have you stepped away, leaned in, found a middle ground — or are you still figuring it out too? In This Together: Same But Different — two coaches, best pals, and two slightly different takes on being human.

  2. 12 Jun

    Episode 12: Healer or Hustler? How to tell the difference

    The wellness industry is worth around 5.6 trillion dollars, and the dodgy end has learned to talk exactly like the qualified end. In the last episode of season 2, Liz and Bernie get into grifters: the influencers and self-styled healers promising to fix your whole life with a weekend retreat and a well-placed crystal. They talk about what being trauma informed actually means, why declaring a space safe doesn't make it so, and why the most confident voice is so often not the most qualified one. There's the difference between evidence and a good soundbite, why nuance never goes viral, and the small but vital things to look for before you hand over your money or your trust: scope of practice, supervision, real training. It's not an anti-wellness episode. It's a be-discerning one. Because people deserve support, and that support should come with honesty, humility and proper ethical care, not grand promises and guru energy. Back in August for season 3! Shownotes: Gabor Maté: https://drgabormate.com/Brené Brown: https://brenebrown.com/China's restrictions on unqualified health and wellness content: https://www.chinadaily.com.cn/a/202508/04/WS688ff13aa310c0209d01abff.html Also mentioned Liz's group coaching programme, It's Not Just Me. A 6-week foundational course for anyone worn out from overthinking, people pleasing and holding everything together. Starts September: https://www.lizgoodchild.co.uk/its-not-just-me/ Bernie's CPD training on stress and burnout, open to all practitioners (coaches, therapists, wellness practitioners, doctors, nurses and more), with a community that meets quarterly. Currently running her fourth cohort: https://stress-ed.co.uk/training/ Contact: To let us know about themes and topics you’d love us to discussion in Season 3, you can email us here:  inthistogetherchat@gmail.com To contact Liz directly: hello@lizgoodchild.co.uk or via DM https://www.instagram.com/liz.good.child/ To contact Bernie directly: bernadette@stress-ed.co.uk

  3. 29 May

    Episode 11: The World Feels A Lot Right Now: Anxiety, Politics & Staying Grounded

    Anyone else feeling like the world has collectively lost the plot? Between politics, wars, rising costs, climate anxiety, social media and the endless stream of breaking news, it's no wonder so many of us are feeling overwhelmed, anxious and emotionally exhausted. In this episode, Liz and Bernie dive into what happens when our nervous systems are exposed to a constant flow of alarming information, and why so many people are walking around carrying stress, fear and uncertainty that doesn't seem to switch off. Drawing on their experiences as coaches, they explore how uncertainty affects our wellbeing, why doomscrolling keeps us stuck in survival mode, and what happens when we feel powerless in the face of events we can't control. The conversation also takes a thoughtful look at politics, community, difference, fear and belonging, while asking an important question: how do we stay informed and engaged without becoming completely consumed by what's happening in the world? Along the way, they chat about: • Why the world feels more overwhelming than ever • The impact of constant news consumption on our nervous systems • Vicarious trauma and emotional contagion • The psychology of fear, uncertainty and control • Why people seek certainty when life feels unstable • Social media algorithms and the doomscrolling trap • The importance of community, connection and curiosity • Looking for "glimmers" and practising a little more bloom scrolling • Simple ways to feel more grounded when everything feels chaotic This isn't a conversation about ignoring what's happening around us. It's about finding ways to stay informed, stay connected and stay human without burning ourselves out in the process. Because maybe the answer isn't carrying the whole world on our shoulders. Maybe it's putting the phone down for a bit, looking for the helpers, finding some glimmers, watching cute Shetland ponies run around a field, and remembering that we're all just doing our best to make sense of a very noisy world. Mentioned in this episode• Julian Rotter's theory of Locus of Control • Pearl Drego's concept of the Cultural Parent • Vicarious Trauma • Doomscrolling and Bloom Scrolling • Mr Rogers' famous advice: "Look for the helpers" • Life Is Beautiful (1997) – the Oscar-winning film Bernie references when talking about finding hope, humanity and moments of joy even in the darkest circumstances. If this episode resonated with you, we'd love it if you'd follow, rate and review the podcast, and share it with someone who might need the reminder that they're not the only one feeling this way. Because we're all in this together. Same, but different.

  4. 15 May

    Episode 10: Perimenopause

    In Episode 10, we’re talking perimenopause. Not as experts with all the answers, but as two women right in the middle of it. Liz shares her terrifying experience of neurological symptoms, scans, hospital tests and being told it might be MS or a brain tumour, before finally discovering it was perimenopause. Bernie talks about endometriosis, anxiety, UTIs, body changes, overwhelm and the messy overlap between burnout and hormones. We also talk about: The overlap between burnout, chronic stress and perimenopauseHealth anxiety and being dismissed by medical professionalsHRT and the difference it made within daysBody changes, weight gain and learning to live in a different bodyBrain fog, fatigue and forgetting basic words Why so many of us feel we have to fight to be heardThe emotional and psychological impact of hormonal changeNervous system overwhelm and learning to regulate differentlyWhy connection and hearing “me too” matters so muchThis one is honest, emotional, funny in places, and deeply validating for anyone who’s ever wondered: “Is it just me?” Episode shownotes: Dr Louise Newson: Menopause specialist and educatorDr Nicky Keay: Specialist in exercise, hormones and female healthRenee McGregor: Leading Sports and Eating disorder specialist dietitian Stay in touch Email: inthistogetherchat@gmail.com Instagram: @liz.good.child and @bernadettedancy_stresscoach Work with us Liz: 1:1 coaching/therapy (availability + info):https://www.lizgoodchild.co.uk/ Bernie: 1:1 stress & lifestyle coaching + CPD-accredited training in Stress Management for Health and Wellness Professionals:http://www.stress-ed.co.uk

  5. 1 May

    Episode 9: The Quiet Losses No One Talks About

    Episode 9: The Quiet Losses No One Talks About What if grief isn’t just about losing people… but losing versions of your life? In this episode, we’re exploring the quieter, less visible side of loss — the kind that doesn’t always have a clear name. From those unexpected moments that catch you off guard (like feeling sad after something lovely), to the lives we didn’t live, the choices we didn’t make, and the parts of ourselves we’ve outgrown —t his is a conversation about all the ways grief shows up beyond death. We talk about: The bittersweet feeling of seeing something you didn’t have“Sliding doors” moments and the paths not takenAmbiguous loss and unmet needsUnderstanding yourself differently later in lifeWhy even the right decisions can come with a sense of lossThe pressure of timelines and expectationsAnd why you can love your life… and still grieve another oneThis one is honest, reflective, and very “same but different.” Because sometimes the hardest losses to process… are the ones no one else can see. Episode shownotes: Brandi Carlile: The song, “The Mother”. “Welcome to the end of being alone inside your mind.”Alan Wolfelt: “All change is loss, and all loss must be mourned.”Counterfactual thinking: Imagining alternative versions of the past (“what if…” thinking)Prediction error (neuroscience): The brain updating its expectations when reality doesn’t match its internal model.Pauline Boss: Ambiguous loss (loss without clear closure or definitionCarl Jung” “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”Bernice Neugarten: Social clock (cultural expectations about life timelines and milestones)David Blanchflower: U-shaped happiness curve (wellbeing dips in midlife and rises later)The Bell Jar: Sylvia Plath” Fig tree metaphor (the lives we don’t choose).Nora Ephron: Reflections on ageing, regret, and self-perception, “I Feel Bad About My Neck”.Sehnsucht: A German term describing a deep, bittersweet longing for something intangible or unattainable.Liz Moreton: https://stress-ed.co.uk/mbsr/ Work with Liz Goodchild - www.lizgoodchild.co.uk Work with Bernie Dancy - www.bernadettedancy.co.uk

  6. 18 Apr

    Episode 8: Friendships

    In this episode, we’re talking about friendship, and all the ways it can be both lovely and surprisingly complicated. Friendships are some of the most important relationships in our lives, but unlike romantic relationships, they rarely come with a script. There’s no clear beginning, no clear ending, and very little conversation about what happens when things shift, drift, deepen, or quietly fall apart. We explore what actually makes a friendship feel solid, how expectations shape our relationships, and why mismatched ideas about closeness, effort, honesty, and availability can create so much tension. We talk about the friendships that last, the ones that don’t, and the strange grey area between acquaintance, friend, close friend, and ride-or-die body-in-the-boot friend. Liz reflects on how moving countries changed some of her friendships in unexpected ways, why generosity and shared values matter so much to her now, and how she’s become less willing to ignore things that don’t feel right. Bernie talks about having lower expectations around the practical side of friendship, the importance of matched standards, and why different friends can play different roles in our lives. Together, we get into vulnerability, self-awareness, boundaries, drifting apart, ghosting, easy friendships, friendship admin, and the role of tech and voice notes in keeping connection alive when life is full and people live far away. This one is honest, warm, funny in places, and full of the kind of conversation people don’t often have directly, even with their closest mates. If friendship has ever felt comforting, confusing, painful, sustaining, or hard to define, this episode is for you. Stay in touch: Email: inthistogetherchat@gmail.com Instagram: @liz.good.child and @bernadettedancy_stresscoach Work with us: Liz’s 1:1 coaching is currently full, with new spaces opening in June 2026. You can find out more about her coaching approach here: https://www.lizgoodchild.co.uk Bernie has limited availability for stress assessments, and early bird registration is open for her next CPD cohort on stress and burnout: www.stress-ed.co.uk

  7. 4 Apr

    Episode 7: Death, Dying & the Afterlife

    Episode 7, Season 2: Death, Dying & the Afterlife We’re back for season two, and in true In This Together: Same but Different style, we’re starting with a nice easy one: death, dying, and the afterlife. In this episode, we talk about something most of us spend our lives trying not to think about, even though it touches every single one of us. We explore what happens in our minds when we think about death, how our own experiences of grief have shaped us, and why talking about mortality can be both terrifying and strangely comforting. Liz shares her lifelong fascination with death, how losing her mum young shaped her worldview, and why seeing her nan after she died gave her a kind of closure she’d never had before. Bernie reflects on growing up Catholic in Ireland, how faith has shaped her relationship with death and the afterlife, and the deep comfort she’s found in feeling connected to those she’s lost. Together, we talk about grief, faith, existential psychology, children’s fear of death, spiritual experiences, and the ways mortality strips life back to what really matters. We also explore the tension between religion and belonging, especially when faith traditions haven’t always felt safe or welcoming, and how each of us has made our own meaning around what comes after this life. This episode is full of the kinds of conversations people often only have quietly, privately, or not at all. It’s tender, thoughtful, a bit dark, a bit funny, and deeply human. Content note: This episode includes discussion of death, dying, grief, trauma, funerals, dead bodies, sudden loss, and parental bereavement. Stay in touch: Email: inthistogetherchat@gmail.com Instagram: @liz.good.child and @bernadettedancy_stresscoach @in.this.together.pod Work with us: Liz’s 1:1 coaching is currently full, with new spaces opening in May 2026. You can find out more about her coaching approach here: https://www.lizgoodchild.co.uk Bernie has availability for stress and lifestyle coaching, and the early bird registration is open for her next CPD cohort on stress and burnout: www.stress-ed.co.uk References mentioned in this episode The Denial of Death — Ernest BeckerTerror Management Theory — Jeff Greenberg, Sheldon Solomon & Tom PyszczynskiBeing Mortal — Atul GawandeTuesdays with Morrie — Mitch AlbomPost-Traumatic Growth — Richard Tedeschi & Lawrence CalhounBronnie Ware — https://bronnieware.comIrvin Yalom — https://www.yalom.comDead Good Legacies — https://deadgoodlegacies.com

  8. 23 Feb

    Episode 6: Coaches are Human Too - Showing Up When Life's Messy

    It’s the final episode of Series 1 and we’re ending on something we both care about deeply: what it’s like to show up in your work as a coach/therapist when your own life isn’t exactly “together.” Because people love to assume that if you’re a coach, you must be calm and wise 24/7… and that stress, grief, anxiety, hormones, parenting chaos and real life admin somehow bounce off you. Spoiler: they don’t. In this episode, Liz and Bernie talk honestly about: What “showing up” actually means when you’re also in the thick of your own stuffWhy knowing the tools doesn’t mean you can always access them (especially when you’re tired or triggered)Imposter syndrome, self-criticism, and how repair gets quicker with practiceHow we work: relational / co-active coaching, guidance-based health coaching, and why the relationship mattersTransference & countertransference (and why coaches should know these terms)“Parallel process”: when your client is bringing the very thing you’re living through tooBoundaries and discernment: sharing from a scar, not an open woundDemystifying coaching vs therapy, scope of practice, supervision, and what ethical support can look like This isn’t an episode about being perfectly regulated or having the answers. It’s about being human, being ethical, and building support systems that help you do the work without pretending you’re unaffected by life. We’re also taking a short, intentional break after this episode, to practise what we preach, but we’ll be back for Series 2. Stay in touch Email: inthistogetherchat@gmail.com Instagram: @liz.good.child and @bernadettedancy_stresscoach Work with us Liz: 1:1 coaching/therapy (availability + info):https://www.lizgoodchild.co.uk/ Bernie: 1:1 stress & lifestyle coaching + CPD-accredited training:http://www.stress-ed.co.uk

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About

Welcome to In This Together: Same But Different. Hosted by Liz Goodchild, Coach and Supervisor, and Bernadette Dancy, Stress Management Coach — two friends, two coaches, two humans — this podcast is about the weird, lovely, maddening reality of being alive. This is not a self-help podcast…even though, yes, we are coaches. We're not here to dish out any how-to guidance or advice, and there'll be absolutely no magic answers or "do this and your life will change" kind of stuff. Each episode is a real, human chat from two perspectives - so you can feel less alone, a little more understood, and maybe think, "Oh… me too." Come as you are. We're here to keep you company. Because we're In This Together: Same, But Different.

Information

  • Creator
    Bernadette Dancy and Liz Goodchild
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    14
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Bernadette Dancy and Liz Goodchild
  • Show Website
    In This Together - Same But Different