It Burns Eli Young

Because I am spoiled, I occasionally go on cruises. Because I am an ungrateful, whiny bitch, I complain about them. Because I am easily distracted, I then talk about things completely unrelated. My brother contributes by playing Katamari Damacy on his PSP (see spoiled).

In this extremely delayed episode, I forbid people from doing things. On an unrelated note, please let me know if you have a better idea for how I should end these.

Once upon a time, children's television didn't suck. I'm not really sure what happened between then and now. All I know is that my brother Abe and I are not happy about the change.

If you somehow don't already know, believe me when I tell you that food, while tasty, is a huge pain in the ass. Popcorn in particular can fuck right off.

This marks the beginning of my systematic rejection of all modes of transportation. I probably won't follow through with that, but that's not the point. What I'm trying to say is that I have much hate for automobile-related bullshit.

I really do need a Ragemobile, though.

In this much-delayed episode of It Burns, I tell you that Apple sucks. So great is my hatred for Apple that it took almost sixteen minutes to get me to quiet the hell down.