IVF DADDIES

JULIO GAGGIA AND RICHARD WESTOBY
  • 3.2 (9)
  • PARENTING
  • UPDATED DAILY

Sometimes it takes a village to make a daddy. Welcome to IVFDADDIES, where we blow the lid off IVF, surrogacy, same sex step-parent modern family‑making. We're Richard (surrogacy pioneer) and Julio (digital culture maker), and this is the show we wish had existed when we started our own journeys. 14 years ago, Richard set out to become a dad via IVF, egg donation, and surrogacy. Now he’s dragging Julio into the fertility world, and trust us, Julio is asking all the uncomfortable questions, to learn how to be the best partner and step-dad in the LGBTQ+ community. can you relate?

  1. 3 DAYS AGO

    92) OLDER PARENTS, RELATIONSHIPS, EMBRYOS, AND THE TRUTH ABOUT IVF

    Does IVF guarantee a baby. Short answer. No. In this episode of IVF Daddies, Julio and Richard talk about something that almost nobody explains clearly. What happens to relationships when embryos enter the picture. Most fertility conversations focus on the science. Eggs. Sperm. Embryos. Transfers. Success rates. But the real story is emotional. Couples start IVF because the family they imagined did not happen the way they expected. And once the process begins, the decisions get harder. Frozen embryos. Donor eggs. Surrogacy. Whether to keep trying or stop. Julio and Richard unpack the reality behind modern family building. Why IVF can create pressure inside relationships. Why clinics focus on the medical side but rarely address the emotional side. And why even the best embryos in the world do not guarantee a baby. The conversation also touches on a moment from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills that shows what many people experience privately during IVF. The grief of realizing that biology does not always cooperate with the life you planned. They explore the changing landscape of parenting today. Younger LGBTQ couples becoming parents earlier. Straight couples having children later in life. And the difficult question many people face when fertility treatment fails. Is it time to stop trying. Or is it time to change the plan. This episode is about the truth behind IVF. Not the glossy brochure version. Because building a family is not just biology. It is relationships, expectations, grief, and the courage to decide what family will look like when the original plan does not work. TOPICS IN THIS EPISODE IVF success rates and embryo reality Surrogacy and donor egg decisions LGBTQ family building The emotional impact of IVF Why IVF clinics rarely address relationship psychology Older parents versus younger parents Reality TV and fertility narratives The grief of the family people imagined Why having a baby does not fix a relationship KEYWORDS IVF podcast IVF success rates surrogacy journey donor eggs IVF LGBTQ parenting gay dads surrogacy fertility treatment emotional impact IVF relationships embryo creation process family building decisions

    15 min

  2. 5 MAR

    91)THE REAL JOURNEY TO GAY FATHERHOOD: IVF, SURROGACY, AND THE PARADOX OF PARENTHOOD | PEDRO ANDRADE

    What does it actually take to build a family when biology isn’t an option? In this episode of IVF Daddies, journalist and television host Pedro Andrade shares the deeply personal story behind becoming a father through IVF and surrogacy. Pedro is known for reporting on cultures and communities around the world. But this time, the story became his own. Together with his husband Ben, he navigated the long road to parenthood: finding an egg donor, matching with a surrogate, signing contracts, facing uncertainty, and holding on to hope through a process that can take years. We talk about the reality many people never see: Parenthood through IVF is not a moment. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Parenthood and Identity 05:37 The Emotional Toll of Surrogacy 11:00 The Role of Age in Parenting 16:24 The Impact of Surrogacy on Family Dynamics 21:50 Empowering Women and Challenging Norms 27:16 Advice for Prospective Parents It is a system of decisions, patience, trust, and resilience. Pedro opens up about the emotional paradox of becoming a parent. The overwhelming love, the exhaustion, the fear, and the life-changing responsibility that comes with raising his daughter Isabel. The conversation also explores Pedro’s documentary series “Somewhat Familiar” on Max (HBO Max), where he travels around the world to understand how different cultures define family. From matriarchal societies in China to adoption, foster care, and solo parenting, the series reveals how many ways there are to build a family. This episode goes beyond fertility and parenting. It’s about identity, belonging, and the evolving definition of family in modern society. Pedro reminds us of something simple but powerful: Parents are the people who show up. If you are curious about IVF, surrogacy, LGBTQ parenting, or the future of family building, this conversation will stay with you. Pedro Andrade’s documentary series “Somewhat Familiar” (2025) is streaming on Max / HBO Max, where he travels across countries including Italy, China, Japan, and the United States exploring how families are created around the world. IVFsurrogacygay dadsLGBTQ parentingfamily buildingIVF journeyegg donationmodern familiesfatherhoodPedro AndradeSomewhat Familiar HBO Maxsurrogacy processfertility educationintended parentsparenthood podcastreproductive sciencegay family journeyparenting challengesIVF Daddies podcast “It was worth every tear.” “Families are the people who show up.” “Parenthood is beautiful and brutal at the same time.”

    40 min

  3. 11 FEB

    90) IVFDADDIES INVESTIGATES: SURROGACY INDUSTRY, TRANSPARENCY AND THE FUTURE OF FAMILY BUILDING

    In this episode IVF Daddies examines how modern family building is evolving beyond clinics and contracts into community infrastructure. We sit down with the founders of Families Out Loud to analyze what has changed in the surrogacy landscape over the past year and what that shift tells us about the future of IVF assisted reproduction and intended parent education. This is not a promotional conversation. It is an industry level discussion about Why safe spaces matter in surrogacyHow same sex and heterosexual journeys begin differently but merge in processWhat actually builds trust between intended parents and providersHow the surrogacy community responds when agencies collapseWhy education reduces risk and shortens consultation cyclesThe rise of AI tools in assisted reproductive technology Surrogacy is process management with human emotion layered on top.And the starting point determines everything. If you are exploring IVF egg donation gestational surrogacy or navigating infertility this episode provides structural clarity not hype. IVF Daddies remains committed to decoding assisted reproduction through lived experience transparency and systems level insight. IVFsurrogacygestational carrierinfertilityintended parentsassisted reproductive technologyLGBTQ parentsheterosexual infertilityfertility educationsurrogacy transparencyfertility AInonprofit fertility support CHAPTERS 00:00 One Year Later What Changed in Surrogacy02:48 From Niche Community to Cross Family Infrastructure05:29 What a Safe Space in Surrogacy Actually Means08:28 Trust Vulnerability and Emotional Risk11:03 Different Starting Points Same IVF Process14:03 Educating Families and Reducing Stigma16:46 The Role of Providers and Ethical Collaboration19:43 When an Agency Fails How the Industry Responds22:29 Nonprofit Structure and Education Strategy24:22 The Rise of AI in Assisted Reproduction28:40 Why Education Protects Intended Parents31:18 Building Sustainable Family Building Infrastructure Surrogacy is not just a medical process.It is infrastructure. The families who start informed are the families who finish protected.

    2 min

  4. 22 JAN

    88) SURROGACY, POWER, AND THE NON-PROFIT INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX, WHO REALLY BUILDS FAMILY INFRASTRUCTURE?

    What happens when a non-profit succeeds so completely that it stops being charity and becomes infrastructure? In this episode of IVF Daddies, we sit down with Ron Poole-Dayan, founder of Men Having Babies, to examine how gay fatherhood moved from legal impossibility to corporate policy, insurance coverage, and international debate, and what it actually costs to change a system at scale. This is not a feel-good conversation about surrogacy.It is a systems-level discussion about power, ethics, money, advocacy, and the uncomfortable reality that any non-profit operating near medicine, law, and vulnerable populations eventually becomes a gatekeeper. We explore: Why redefining infertility as a social status changed insurance law How workplace benefits quietly replaced litigation Why ethical standards create both protection and exclusion Why the goal of real advocacy is to make itself unnecessary This episode matters now, especially in Europe, as debates around surrogacy, cross-border family building, and regulation intensify ahead of major community and policy conversations in Brussels. If you care about family, ethics, systems, and how change actually happens, this conversation is for you. We’re releasing this episode as we head to Brussels on the 7th to engage directly with families, advocates, and institutions navigating the next phase of family-building infrastructure in Europe. This conversation is not about defending one organization.It is about understanding how social change actually works, and why every mature movement eventually faces scrutiny not for failing, but for succeeding. If you want elite parenting to be boring, protected, and normal, this is the price. CHAPTERS: 00:00 Why Men Having Babies Exists02:48 Financial Assistance and Industry Proximity05:41 Advocacy, Law, and Institutional Power08:22 Redefining Infertility, Medical vs Social Status10:48 Workplace Benefits and Corporate Policy13:35 Cultural Blind Spots Around Male Parenthood16:18 How Surrogacy Evolved and Why It’s Contested19:01 When Advocacy Becomes Infrastructure Men Having Babies, Official Sitehttps://menhavingbabies.org Men Having Babies, GPAP Financial Assistancehttps://menhavingbabies.org/gpap IVF Daddieshttps://ivfdaddies.com Follow IVF DaddiesInstagram, https://instagram.com/ivfdaddiesYouTube, https://www.youtube.com/@IVFDaddies This episode is relevant to: Surrogacy ethics LGBTQ+ parenting Non-profit governance Insurance coverage and infertility law Workplace family benefits European surrogacy regulation Family-building infrastructure Reproductive justice and institutional power

    23 min

  5. 15 JAN

    87) THE IVF LIE HOLLYWOOD SELLS WOMEN (AND DOCTORS ARE TIRED OF CLEANING UP)

    What if some of the most damaging IVF advice women hear doesn’t come from social media, but from oversimplified medical reassurance and pop-culture fertility narratives? In this episode of IVF Daddies, Richard Westoby sits down with reproductive endocrinologist Dr. Brooke Freeman to unpack one of the most misunderstood and quietly harmful fertility myths:“You have time.” We break down why markers like AMH measure egg quantity, not quality, why age still matters biologically no matter how “good” your numbers look, and why being told you can wait in your 40s often leads to irreversible loss of options. Dr. Freeman explains: Why egg freezing and IVF are tools, not guarantees Why “it only takes one” is true, but dangerously incomplete How false reassurance creates false hope Why celebrities and TV shows distort fertility expectations by leaving out donor eggs and embryo freezing And why context matters more than comfort when people are making life-defining decisions This episode is not medical advice.It’s not about blaming doctors.And it’s not about scaring people. It’s about telling the truth with clarity, before time runs out. If you’ve ever felt confused by fertility advice, pressured by age, or misled by success stories that don’t tell the whole story, this conversation is for you. Chapters 00:00 Understanding Egg Freezing and Fertility 02:38 The Reality of IVF and Age Factors 05:51 The Importance of Accurate Medical Advice 08:29 Empowering Women in Fertility Choices The KardashiansKim KardashianJanet Jackson All's Fair CULTURE CONTEXT DISCUSSED

    9 min

  6. 7 JAN

    85) HOW WE BECAME PARENTS WITHOUT A RULEBOOK — LOSS, GRIEF, AND FAMILY-BUILDING IN THE NETHERLANDS

    Trying to build a family is hard. Doing it without a clear legal framework makes everything heavier. In this episode of IVF Daddies, we share what it really means to try to become parents in the Netherlands — a system filled with uncertainty, legal grey zones, and no clear roadmap for families like ours. We talk openly about loss, grief, and the emotional toll of repeated setbacks. About failed attempts and unexpected moments of hope. About how grief shows up in ways you don’t always recognise at first — and how you keep going when there are no guarantees, medically, legally, or emotionally. This isn’t a polished success story. It’s a firsthand account of what happens when the system doesn’t reflect your reality, but the desire to become parents doesn’t disappear. If you’ve ever faced barriers created by laws, institutions, or circumstances beyond your control — and still had to find a way forward — this conversation is for you. Real talk for real families. No rulebook. Just honesty. CHAPTERS: 00:00 Why We Wanted a Family 02:20 When the First Plan Didn’t Work 05:22 Trying Different Paths 07:45 Emotional Highs and Lows 10:13 Finding Support 12:49 Moments of Hope 15:17 Facing Setbacks 17:11 Processing Loss 18:59 Choosing to Continue 21:32 Trust and Connection 23:48 Sharing Our Story 25:50 Navigating Complex Rules 27:34 Waiting and Uncertainty 30:48 The Day Everything Changed 34:06 Talking About It as a Family

    35 min

  7. 18/12/2025

    84) IVF, SURROGACY & LGBTQ FAMILY BUILDING ARE PUBLIC HEALTH ISSUES — MISINFORMATION, ACCESS & TRUST

    IVF, surrogacy, and family building are not niche medical topics, they are public health issues. When access breaks down, misinformation spreads, and trust in medicine erodes, the impact reaches far beyond individual patients. In this episode of the IVF Daddies Podcast, Julio Gaggia speaks with Demetre C. Daskalakis, physician and public health leader with deep experience in community-based care and health equity. Drawing from frontline work in LGBTQ healthcare and public health systems, this conversation examines how political pressure, structural failures, and medical misinformation are reshaping reproductive healthcare. This episode explores: Why IVF and surrogacy access should be treated as public health infrastructure How misinformation damages clinician–patient trust The ethical burden placed on healthcare providers Why LGBTQ families are disproportionately affected by system failures How community-based public health models restore care and accountability Rather than framing fertility as a personal or consumer problem, this discussion positions family creation as a population-level health issue — shaped by policy, ethics, access, and trust. This episode is essential listening for: Intended parents navigating IVF or surrogacy Clinicians and healthcare professionals Policymakers and public health leaders Anyone concerned with reproductive rights, health equity, and ethical care Key takeaway:When reproductive healthcare fails, families don’t just struggle individually — public health fails collectively. 00:00 — The Current State of Public Health03:02 — Science, Misinformation, and Public Trust05:30 — Ethical Courage in Medicine08:23 — The Growing Burden on Clinicians11:20 — Family Creation as a Public Health Concern13:54 — How Public Health Systems Regressed16:47 — Community-Based Care as a Solution19:35 — Lessons from Recent Public Health Crises22:21 — Building a More Resilient Healthcare Future IVF costs & access: https://ivfdaddies.com/costsListen to more episodes: https://ivfdaddies.com/episodesShare lived experience anonymously: https://ivfdaddies.com/confessionsSubscribe to the newsletter: https://ivfdaddies.com/#newsletter IVF Daddies connects reproductive medicine, public health, and real family experiences — with clarity, accountability, and zero spin. ChaptersResources & Links

    25 min

  8. 02/12/2025

    83) WHAT “ALL’S FAIR” DIDN’T TELL YOU ABOUT IVF AND REPRODUCTIVE CONSENT

    All's Fair: What happens when reality TV finally touches the part of IVF nobody wants to talk about — the embryos, the consent, and what happens in a divorce? Kim Kardashian opened a door. Ryan Murphy kicked it wider.But ALL’S FAIR just did something rare: they made mainstream America confront the emotional and legal reality of IVF and surrogacy. And today, we’re going deeper. This episode breaks down what actually happens when you create embryos… Chapters 00:00 Introduction to IVF and Reality TV 02:39 Understanding Consent in Embryo Transfer 05:31 The Reality of Embryo Transfer Procedures 08:19 Personal Experiences with Embryo Custody 11:22 Fertility Preservation and Its Complexities what happens when you separate…and why consent isn’t “drama” — it’s the entire foundation of reproductive autonomy. Dr. Brooke Freeman and Richard Westoby unpack the real stakes behind the headlines:frozen embryos, custody battles, fertility preservation, and the part reality TV never explains — the emotional weight of “The finality of that is hard.” If you care about reproductive freedom, family building, or the future of IVF… this conversation will change the way you watch reality TV forever. HUGE THANKS to Ryan Murphy (a dad via surrogacy himself!) for producing content that opens up the essential global conversation about Reproductive Health and family building.

    14 min
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Ratings & Reviews

3.2
out of 5
9 Ratings

About

Sometimes it takes a village to make a daddy. Welcome to IVFDADDIES, where we blow the lid off IVF, surrogacy, same sex step-parent modern family‑making. We're Richard (surrogacy pioneer) and Julio (digital culture maker), and this is the show we wish had existed when we started our own journeys. 14 years ago, Richard set out to become a dad via IVF, egg donation, and surrogacy. Now he’s dragging Julio into the fertility world, and trust us, Julio is asking all the uncomfortable questions, to learn how to be the best partner and step-dad in the LGBTQ+ community. can you relate?

Information

  • Creator
    JULIO GAGGIA AND RICHARD WESTOBY
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    87
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © JULIO GAGGIA AND RICHARD WESTOBY
  • Show Website
    IVF DADDIES

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