9 episodes

A podcast from Piano Teeth. The voice inside your head. Expect darkly comic, surreal and strange adventures all from the comfort of your own mind.

Piano Teeth Piano Teeth

    • Comedy Fiction
    • 5.0 • 14 Ratings

A podcast from Piano Teeth. The voice inside your head. Expect darkly comic, surreal and strange adventures all from the comfort of your own mind.

    8. SIR DAVID ATTENBOROUGH'S MAGIC CANS

    8. SIR DAVID ATTENBOROUGH'S MAGIC CANS

    Hello Gorgeous Creeps!It is I, Piano Teeth. The voice inside your head. Back once again with a barnstorming audio-delight that will completely and utterly blow your socks off.Unfortunately, I'm going to have to take a short break after this one. You'll hear why but I need to lay low for a little while. But don't worry, I have grown fond of trickling into your ears and I know how much I mean to you. I will be back my sexy scumbags. I will be back.In this episode, I discuss therapy with Jasper the Toad then try and tell the story of Sir David Attenborough's Magic Cans. However, my frequency is hacked by 1 Radio DJ, Dave Chris, who begins trying to take over your brain. I have no choice but to embark on an incredibly dangerous journey, through the radio waves, encountering other Radio DJ's along the way. But Dave Chris has pop sensation Larry Piles in the studio and he's growing stronger and stronger. Will I be able to save your mind in time? Listen and find out.Featuring Sir David Attenborough, Crypto-zoology, Gorilla-Hawks, Gerard Depardieu, The Shipping Forecast, Therapy, Theseus, Breakfast Bing Bong, Mental Health, Celebrities, Graham Norton and so much more.Don't forget to leave a review. And give me a follow @the_piano_teethIf you like what you hear then why not contribute to the bleach fund https://ko-fi.com/pianoteethAnd please check out the website https://www.pianoteeth.co.uk/ you'll find all sorts there. Including a gallery of scribblings created by the listeners and inspired by my dulcet tones. Why not send me one yourself?A tidal wave of thanks must be sent to Matteo Mussetti (@4get2eat) for his loving sound design and making all this possible. And to Chris R. Wright (@chrisrwright) for doing mine and Jasper's portrait. Even if it was through blackmail. And I suppose thanks must be sent your way, for putting me in your ears and letting me meander around your mind. Until next time. Be Well!This audio delight is bought to you by Dickie's Meat Drop. Where your meat matters.

    • 40 min
    7. I AM KING ARTHUR

    7. I AM KING ARTHUR

    Hello gorgeous creeps! Here we are once again with a brand new audio delight for you to trickle into your ears. My apologies for the delay in this one. After a big night on the bleach Jasper the Toad swallowed the microphone. Had to wait a couple of days for it to make its way out. And you can't rush these things.In this marvelous episode, we take a departure from the usual and rather than me just telling you a tale, we end up in the midst of three voices, all talking to each other. One of them believes that he's the direct descendent of King Arthur. But who are the other two? And how do you know if you're a King? And what the hell is going on? You'll have to stick this wonderful audio experiment in your ears and find out.Many thanks to Lucy Mangan (@looseymango) for the direction on this one. Without her Jasper would've been all over the place. Her Kit-Kat is in the post.Thanks as ever to Chris R. Wright (@chrisrwright) for his artwork.And Matteo Musetti (@4get2eat) for his sound design.If you like what you hear then please leave a review and share me with your friends. I won't talk about you, I promise.If you want to contribute to the bleach-fund then head on over to https://ko-fi.com/pianoteeth and you can drop some coins in my purse.And please do go and have a look at the scribblings https://www.pianoteeth.co.uk/scribblings sent in by the sexy scumbags that put me in their ears. Why not do one yourself? I love looking at them.Until next time my sexy scumbags.And be well.

    • 31 min
    6. THE MAGIC SHEEP

    6. THE MAGIC SHEEP

    Hello Gorgeous Creeps. I hope this finds you as well as you possibly can be. We are back with a story bang and this one is an absolute brain cracking banger. In this fantastical audio delight we throw ourselves down the plug hole and end up in the town of Cliffton, which is apparently a lovely place in summer. There we meet Taylor the Tailor who won't let his son, Darren out of his sight. However, due to tragic circumstances, Darren's opportunity arises and after an excitable first visit to the pub he finds himself blundering, naked round a graveyard at the top of a cliff. After being woken by a questionable gravedigger Darren realizes that he's woken up in heaven where he is reunited with his father, whose become an angel. Darren doesn't know what Sheep are you see. Poor lad. Convinced that he is the new messiah Darren heads back to the town of Cliffton (lovely place in Summer) and convinces the people to follow him, up to heaven. Where paradise surely awaits. Are the townsfolk really going to believe a naked man who claims to talk to Sheep? What could possibly go wrong? Are Sheep really liars? And why is Prince Harry breaking down toilet doors? Find out for yourselves and put this in your ears you sexy scumbags. Featuring Viking Mercenaries, Priests, Belinda Carlisle, Heaven, Squirrels playing the piano, Prince Harry, The Wonky Dungeon, Sheep, Angels, Graveyards, Sheep, Whiskey, Tailors, Sheep and so, so much more. Many thanks to Tim Karp for the music in this Eargasm, even if it was through blackmail he did a great job. Check out his wealth of melodic projects here: https://www.timkarp.com/ Don't forget to leave a review. And please share me with your friends, I won't talk about you. I promise. Head over to my website: https://www.pianoteeth.co.uk/ where you can pester me, find out a bit more and look at the scribblings sent in to me by the gorgeous creeps who put me in their ears. Why not send me some yourself.  If you like what you hear and you can, then please contribute to the bleach-fund:                  ko-fi.com/pianoteeth every little helps. The artwork was created by Chris R. Wright (@chrisrwright)The sound design was by Matteo Musetti (@4get2eat) This is a Piano Teeth production

    • 44 min
    5. NELSON MANDELA'S HARDCORE MIX-TAPE FT. TOM WAITS MEDITATION

    5. NELSON MANDELA'S HARDCORE MIX-TAPE FT. TOM WAITS MEDITATION

    Hello gorgeous creeps. How are your minds? Ready for me to launch in and deliver my weekly eargasm of audio delight? I hope so. We will be taking a departure from the usual as thanks to the disco biscuits provided by my friend Captain WillyFingers, I'm in far too delicate a state for a bleach soaked helter-skelter into a brain cracking story. Instead, I answer some of the questions sent into me by the sexy scumbags that put me in their ears. You, basically. I then put on a vinyl sent to me by Tom Waits where he takes us on a soothing guided meditation. It really is something else. Listen now for; advice on how to become a Dinosaur, an explanation as to why I drink bleach, Nelson Mandela's hardcore mix-tape, vomit, the land of Ombagaluk, Tracey the space Octopus, England Rugby Team, Mongolian confessions, Fife, lackluster advertising, skeleton crews, dogs, X-ray machines and the secret to the universe itself. Don't forget to leave a review. And share me with your friends. I won't talk about you, promise. Follow me on the socials @the_piano_teeth. And check me out at www.pianoteeth.co.uk If you like what you hear and want to contribute to the bleach fund then head on over to https://ko-fi.com/pianoteeth and you can drop some coins in my purse. This episode was created by Piano Teeth. The sound was designed by Matteo Musetti. (@4get2eat) Artwork made under great duress by Chris R. Wright @chrisrwright Vomit was cleaned up by Jasper the Toad.

    • 36 min
    4. FOX HUNTERS

    4. FOX HUNTERS

    Hello my gorgeous creeps! It is I. Piano Teeth. Your bleach sodden, bath dwelling, skinless storyteller. Back with another audio delight for you to put in your ears and run rings round your mind. Forgive me, Jasper the Toad interrupts my introduction to this episode. However, he gets put in his place and I soon bring it back on the premium track that you're used to.  In this fantastic episode, we encounter Sir Cecil Gubbington, running for his life through some woods. He's being chased by a gang of murderous Foxes, who've had quite enough of being hunted for sport and so turn on their horse-riding hunters, picking them off one by one. Sir Cecil believes he's the last one left and he must get out of the woods alive and warn the authorities of the new Fox enemy. Featuring Foxes, Stags, Hunters, Forests, Posh people, Queen's, LSD, muddy puddles, Tree perverts, urine and so much more! You'll have to get stuck in and find out what happens.Please enjoy, subscribe, review, and share. If you like what you hear and want to contribute to my bleach fund then head on over to https://ko-fi.com/pianoteeth and you can put some coin in my purse.  If you would like to send me any artwork inspired by the episodes, pester/contact me, send me nudes then head on over to www.pianoteeth.co.uk. Follow me @the_piano_teeth on your socials. This episode was created by Piano Teeth. Artwork created under much duress by Chris R. Wright. The sound was lovingly designed by Matteo Musetti. Jasper the Toad did fuck all as per. Until next time. Be well.  

    • 40 min
    3. STEVE, THE ACCIDENTAL HERO

    3. STEVE, THE ACCIDENTAL HERO

    Hello Gorgeous Creeps!I hope you are well. If this is the first time you've clicked on my face then allow me to introduce myself. My name is Piano Teeth and I am the voice inside your head. I have no skin and so sit in the bath drinking bleach all day, with a toad called Jasper. After a bottle or two my brain cracks and I am plunged into a story. Which I would now like to share with you.In this wonderfully funny, surprising episode, we are introduced to Steve, who doesn't look like a hero at all. After Steve starts hearing a voice that seems to narrate his every action he is suddenly thrown into a reluctant adventure. He is forced to fight an evil perverted Warlord, confront his parent's death, train to be a warrior, realise his friend is a wizard, and ride around on a chain-smoking horse. However, Steve begins to question where this mysterious voice is coming from and begins to realise that not all is as it seems. Sometimes the bravest thing is to not be a hero at all. Join Steve on his reluctant journey. Featuring; Polar Bears, Goblins, a giant Sea-Gull, a dick-shaped axe, horses, Wizards, Quests, Destiny, Swords, Cups of Tea, evil storytellers and unlikely friendships.If you like what you hear and want to contribute to my bleach fund then go to https://ko-fi.com/pianoteeth and you can drop some coins in my purse.As ever; LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW, SHARE.Created by Piano TeethSound design by Matteo Musetti (@4get2eat)Artwork by Chris R. Wright (@chrisrwright)Feel free to follow me on your socials @the_piano_teeth.And if you would like to send in any pictures/ drawings/ nudes/ poems or other forms of creativity inspired by my dulcet tones in your ears then head on over to https://www.pianoteeth.co.uk/ Contact me about anything at pianoteethis@gmail.com. I can't wait to trickle around your mind. Be Well.Piano Teeth

    • 25 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
14 Ratings

14 Ratings

OldTimer... ,

Ghoulishly Fascinating

Exactly the sort of mind-bending surrealism one needs, especially on those dreary Wednesdays.

Gumtree232 ,

Wonderfully horrible and horribly wonderful

It was gross loved it

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