154 episodes

Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!

Pillow Talks Vanessa & Xander Marin

    • Health & Fitness
    • 4.7 • 39 Ratings

Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!

    How To Stop Feeling Resentment In Your Relationship

    How To Stop Feeling Resentment In Your Relationship

    A few weeks ago we asked our community if they felt resentment in their relationship and only 29% said no!
    Resentment doesn’t feel good for either partner, and it can lead to things like more stress, less sex, and lots of other serious consequences in your relationship.
    We decided it was time to create an episode breaking down what resentment is, where it comes from, and how to overcome it in your relationship.
    Links & Resources:
    Guide: Mental Load Workbook
    Visit our Homepage
    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

    • 48 min
    The Secret Foreplay Technique You Don’t Even Know About

    The Secret Foreplay Technique You Don’t Even Know About

    Imagine this… you’re crawling into bed at the end of the night, thinking, “Hmmm sex sounds nice.”
    We hate to break it to you, but you’re too late! You needed to have been planning for this much earlier in the day. You needed to be using our unique approach to foreplay.
    Most of us think of foreplay as the stuff we do for 30 seconds before we move on to intercourse, but it’s so much more than that. Today we’re telling you about the magic of all-day, non-sexual foreplay.
    Links & Resources:
    Course: Art Of Initiation
    Challenge: The Connection Challenge
    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
    Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor.
    Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow.

    • 42 min
    Breaking Down A Text Fight

    Breaking Down A Text Fight

    You’ve had a fight over text message with your partner, right? Most of us have! Maybe you sent a text to your partner that was a little too snarky, or maybe you read too much into a message. Odds are your text fight did not end well…
     
    Today we’re breaking down a real text fight one of our followers sent in. It started off as a fight over facial hair, but like most fights do, evolved into something much deeper. We covered topics like body confidence, broken trust, and validation. We point out the things they did right, and the ways things went oh so wrong. You’ll get a fascinating sneak peek into another couple’s conflict, plus tons of communication tips along the way.
     
    Links & Resources:
    Our Instagram: @vanessandxander (https://www.instagram.com/vanessaandxander/)
     
    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
     
    Thanks, Green Chef! Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow (http://www.greenchef.com/60pillow) and use code 60pillow to get 60% off, plus 20% off your next 2 months

    • 55 min
    How To Get Your Partner To Open Up About Sex (Even If They’re Resistant)

    How To Get Your Partner To Open Up About Sex (Even If They’re Resistant)

    If you’re a Pillow Talks listener, you’re probably on board with the idea of talking about sex openly. But what do you do if your partner is a lot more hesitant?
     
    In this episode, we’re going over why your partner might be feeling resistant, and how you can encourage them to open up. You’ll learn our secret to intimacy-building conversation, plus tons of creative (and even sneaky) ways to get your partner to talk about sex.
     
    Links & Resources:
    Book:  Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life (https://sextalksbook.com/)
     
    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
     
    Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://cozyearth.com/) and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS

    • 49 min
    Smash Or Pass? We Try The Wildest Sex Tips You’ve Ever Heard (Volume 3)

    Smash Or Pass? We Try The Wildest Sex Tips You’ve Ever Heard (Volume 3)

    We really went there…
     
    It’s time for another round of Smash or Pass! The series where we find the internet’s weirdest sex tips, try them out, and report back to you with all the details.
     
    We dug deep to find the craziest ideas for us to try, and what we found was well… interesting. We’re even taking you into our bedroom during one of the tips so you can hear our live reaction!
     
    The Countdown Method… using a glove… the Nose Dive method. Are any of these new tips Pillow Talks Approved? You’ll just have to tune in and find out!
     
    Links & Resources:
    Course:  Art Of Initiation (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/the-art-of-initiation/)
    Guide:  Ultimate Foreplay Guides (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/)
    Guide:  Next Level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/)
     
    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
     
    Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (http://DipseaStories.com/pillow).
     
    Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://cozyearth.com/) and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS

    • 57 min
    Partner Having Penis Performance Problems? Here’s What To Do - And What Not To Do

    Partner Having Penis Performance Problems? Here’s What To Do - And What Not To Do

    “This, uh, isn’t working…”
    Most of us have experienced a partner having some performance issues in the bedroom, and feeling wildly confused about what to do. How do you react? What do you say?
     
    And let’s be honest, most of us women take these moments personally. We get into our heads thinking things like, “Am I not attractive enough? Am I bad at sex??”
     
    Today we’re breaking down for you why penis performance issues happen, and how men need you to respond in those extra-sensitive moments. Xander is also helping us non-penis owners understand what’s really going on inside men’s heads, and the pressures men feel around sex.
     
    Links & Resources:
    Guide: Sexual Mastery Package (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/sexual-mastery-package/)
     
    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
     
    Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow (https://www.zocdoc.com/) and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor.

    • 41 min

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5
39 Ratings

39 Ratings

Nicky5440 ,

New listener!

Hi there! Just started listening after listening to your interview on Armchair with Dax & Monica. Love this, and think you both are so much fun & open. I have already listened to 2 episodes & have added you to my daily listening routine! Hoping to learn a few new tricks & maybe spice things up with my hubby. 😁 xx

Ben.Gallagher ,

Absolutely amazing!

My partner recommended Vanessa and Xander earlier this year and she shared loads of their Instagram posts to me before I followed them. Recently I started a new job and their podcasts have absolutely saved me!
I started them from the beginning but I’ve listened to a few with my partner over the last year or so, and now our daughter is two so they’re proving even more help, it really is endless.
I’ve recommended this podcast to everyone I know because even when the title seems like something you can’t relate to, there’s always something mentioned in which you can.
For Xander: 🎉🥸😸👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏼

AmyLatham89 ,

Genuinely relationship saving

I’ve mentioned various things to my husband in the past to try and help our relationship following a bit of a rough few years (we’ve been together 15 years this halloween!) Books, you tube etc and he’s never been interested.
This podcast has been a different story! He skips ahead and loves it so much and he’s definitely putting so many things he’s picked up from the podcast into place.
Mental load was a HUGE issue for me in our relationship and now he is so aware of not only what I do but how by him taking things off my plate it frees my brain up for him more. It’s a win win!
You make me feel seen and heard and by him listening as well you obviously get through to men and women alike and that’s an impressive feet!
Well done guys KEEP IT UP!!!
Love love love the podcast

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