Raising Men

Shaun Dawson

Raising Men is a podcast about parenting, masculinity, and the lifelong journey of raising sons—and ourselves—to be men of courage, character, and purpose. Hosted by Shaun Dawson, each episode features real conversations with parents, leaders, and thinkers redefining what it means to raising men in today’s world.

  1. 1 day ago

    The Tension of Authority and Affection with Dr. Mike Ayers

    In this episode of Raising Men, host Shaun Dawson sits down with Dr. Mike Ayers, author of Father Friend: How Intentional Dads Lean In, Lead Well, and Love Big at Every Stage, to discuss what it takes to stop parenting on autopilot and build an intentional roadmap for raising sons. Drawing from over 25 years of studying developmental psychology and organizational leadership, Dr. Mike explains how fathers can transition from direct command-and-control tactics into trusted lifelong advisors as their children grow. He outlines the core philosophy of the "Father Friend" model—balancing the tension between authority and affection—and breaks down the four developmental stages of parenting alongside seven essential competencies every dad needs, including self-awareness, affirmation, and sacrifice. Together, they explore practical tools for managing anger, navigating the unique needs of boys, and avoiding the trap of passive parenting. Key Takeaways Love Must Be Intentional: Most fathers naturally love their children, but without intentionality, life causes dads to drift into career focus, leading to long-term regret.Balance Authority and Affection: Successful fatherhood lives in the tension between being an authority figure who directs and leads, and being a friend who connects emotionally.Parenting Styles Must Evolve: A father’s leadership style should adapt to the child’s developmental stage rather than relying on a single, rigid approach.Self-Awareness Drives Character Growth: Children naturally test boundaries and push buttons; a father's willingness to grow his own character is the foundational skill of parenting.Instill Belief in Your Sons: While love communicates value to a boy, active belief in his capabilities builds the self-efficacy needed to face life's challenges. "Love says I'm valued; belief says I'm capable." — Dr. Mike Ayers "Love is giving to someone what they need when they need it." — Dr. Mike Ayers "Stop surviving the days and instead start shaping the years." — Dr. Mike Ayers Books, Links and Frameworks Mentioned Father Friend: How Intentional Dads Lean In, Lead Well, and Love Big at Every Stage by Dr. Mike Ayers https://books.google.com.ph/books/about/Father_Friend.html?id=SczsEQAAQBAJ&redir_esc=yFather Friend Website: https://www.fatherfriend.net/Situational Leadership Model (Ken Blanchard): Framework adapting leadership behavior based on the follower's development level.The Monks of New Skeet: Referenced for their philosophy on dog training and spirit enablement.

    The Tension of Authority and Affection with Dr. Mike Ayers
  2. 5 days ago

    Redefining Consent for Every Area of Life with Tiffany Braxton

    In this follow-up conversation, host Shaun Dawson reunites with Tiffany Braxton, author of Consent Comics, to unpack why traditional cultural messaging around consent often turns men off—and how to reframe it productively. Moving past narrow sexual contexts, Tiffany presents consent as an accessible, everyday framework for living that centers on recognizing, enforcing, and respecting healthy boundaries across time, personal space, and relationships. Shaun and Tiffany discuss her book’s visual roadmaps, such as "Navigating Consent" and "What a Consensual Yes Feels Like," exploring how these tools empower both children and adults to honor their own boundaries and those of others. Together, they explore the nuance between coercion and encouraging curiosity, the danger of living in a boundaryless world of mistrust, and why enforcing boundaries is an essential mark of healthy masculinity. This episode offers a refreshing, empowering guide to practicing consent as a holistic lifestyle. Key Takeaways Consent Extends Far Beyond Sex: Consent applies to time, space, personal belongings, and emotional boundaries, offering a complete roadmap for everyday life.Rules Are Too Rigid: Teaching consent through rigid rules fails across nuanced situations; instead, consent must be built on genuine curiosity, trust, and emotional safety.A Consensual Yes Creates Safety and Mutual Joy: Enforcing boundaries ensures that saying "yes" brings feelings of freedom, security, excitement, and certainty rather than pressure.Self-Respect Is Part of the Equation: Respecting a decision includes respecting your own internal "no," even when you feel societal or social pressure to comply.Healthy Boundaries Define True Masculinity: Enforcing, protecting, and respecting boundaries—and creating a culture where others can do the same—is a foundational pillar of healthy masculinity."When you look at someone as a valuable human being capable of controlling the thing within their life, then you realize that you're also the same." — Tiffany Braxton "Consent isn't rocket science. Consent is something that we can all understand... for me, consent is so much more than just a yes or a no. It's a way of living." — Tiffany Braxton "You are invited and you are not the problem—you are 100% a part of the solution, and the solution is for all of us." — Tiffany Braxton 00:00 Welcome back and reframing consent beyond cultural messaging 00:40 Viewing consent as enforcing and respecting healthy boundaries 02:13 Introducing Consent Comics and navigating the decision tree roadmap 03:22 Why consent applies to time, belongings, and space rather than just sex 05:42 Explaining the "Navigating Consent" flow diagram for kids and adults 07:40 Respecting your own decision when you need to say no 08:14 Defining what a true consensual yes feels like 11:04 Encouraging friends versus pressuring them to cross boundaries 13:34 Why genuine curiosity beats rigid rules in relationships 17:17 Inviting men into the conversation on the Consent Comics website 19:39 Enforcing and protecting healthy boundaries as healthy masculinity 20:58 Wrap up  Books, Links and Frameworks Mentioned Books & Publications: Consent Comics by Tiffany Braxton https://consentcomics.com/ Frameworks & Concepts: Navigating Consent Decision Tree: A simplified visual roadmap asking "Is it mine? Is it yours? Is it ours?" to determine boundary permissions.What a Consensual Yes Feels Like: A resource mapping out the emotional benchmarks (safety, certainty, freedom, joy) required for genuine consent.Curiosity vs. Pressure Framework: Distinguishing between pressuring someone into compliance versus asking curious questions out of care and trust.

    Redefining Consent for Every Area of Life with Tiffany Braxton
  3. 24 Aug

    How Parents Can Teach Respect and Boundaries at Home with Tiffany Braxton

    In this episode of Raising Men, Shaun Dawson sits down with author, activist, and educator Tiffany Braxton to explore consent, personal power, and respect. Overloaded with cultural baggage and zero-sum framing, the conversation around boundaries often alienates men and boys by painting them strictly as aggressors. Tiffany reframes this dynamic through her book, Consent Comics, which uses layered storytelling to present consent as a universal principle of mutual care, relationship safety, and human dignity rather than a set of rigid rules. Together, they discuss moving away from shame-based narratives, the power of active parental modeling, and the importance of teaching young boys to respect boundaries without sacrificing their emotional openness or spontaneity. Tiffany shares personal insights on establishing safety within relationships, helping children express autonomy, and creating a culture where a clear "no" is met with respect and zero negative consequences. Key Takeaways Consent is built on mutual respect and safety, not rigid rules or us-versus-them antagonisms.Framing boys purely as potential aggressors causes them to withdraw or embrace toxic narratives.Respecting a boundary without consequences is the baseline of any healthy relationship.Children learn boundary setting and enforcement best through daily parental modeling.Effective consent preserves spontaneity by prioritizing an empowered, enthusiastic choice."I want each and every one of us to feel like we have the space that is safety around our bodies and ultimately our decisions, regardless of who we are." "When you make it where someone feels respected when they are not in the mood and they don't want to do these things, then all the other moments are so much better." 00:00 Framing the consent conversation02:24 Me Too culture05:39 Practical problem-solving 07:51 Balancing spontaneous intimacy09:23 Reaching male audiences 20:38 Why traditional consent discussions alienate young men23:07 Using comics and gender-neutral characters to show boundaries28:46 Healthy mutual consent versus over-complicated rules 32:32 Defining healthy masculinity through safety and respect 41:09 Recognizing nonverbal ways people express a no 54:09 Modeling boundaries and autonomy for younger children Books, Links and Frameworks Mentioned Consent Comics by Tiffany Braxton https://consentcomics.com/The Different Ways People Say No (Resource Framework)

    How Parents Can Teach Respect and Boundaries at Home with Tiffany Braxton
  4. 20 Aug

    Performative Strength vs Authentic Power

    In this solo episode of Raising Men, Shaun Dawson explores what it truly looks like to protect the people relying on us. Drawing from the historical covert trip President George W. Bush took to Baghdad in 2003, Shaun contrasts performative thumping of the chest with the quiet, risk-absorbing nature of genuine protective masculinity.  Shaun outlines how modern culture floods young men with performative dominance games, and reframes true strength as quiet, deliberate, and grounded. Bringing these lessons into the home, he provides actionable strategies for parents to manage their own power, regulate their reactions during conflict, and protect their children's dignity both in private and across public platforms. Key Takeaways Protective Masculinity Absorbs Risk: Genuine protection means taking on personal risk to minimize danger for others, rather than exposing them to harm for personal glory or photo opportunities.Conan vs. Sherlock Brain: The reactive amygdala ("Conan brain") relies on posturing and noise, while the regulated prefrontal cortex ("Sherlock brain") focuses quietly on achieving the actual goal.Strength Beats Posturing: Teaching boys performative dominance makes them anxious and brittle, whereas modeling quiet competence builds resilient character.Protect Your Child's Dignity: Exploiting a child's vulnerable moments online for public validation sacrifices their trust to feed the parent's ego.Regulation Requires Space: Utilizing tools like a three-second pause prevents reactive emotional outbursts and models controlled, healthy authority. "If you expose your people to danger just to prove how brave you are, just to satisfy your own ego, you're not protecting them. You're using them." — Shaun Dawson Transcript Summary 00:00 What does it actually look like to protect your people 00:53 George W. Bush's secret 2003 Thanksgiving trip to Baghdad 02:28 Performative politicians vs quiet risk absorption 03:52 Serving food in pitch darkness without demanding applause 04:30 The Conan brain versus the Sherlock brain 05:39 Posturing insecurity vs grounded strength 06:34 The crisis of performative masculinity facing young men 07:42 Handling parental authority with Sherlock brain 09:00 Protecting children's dignity in the social media age 10:05 Practice the three-second pause during household conflict 11:01 Correcting behavior quietly in one-on-one safe spaces 11:24 Building men who carry the weight without being loud Books, Links and Frameworks Mentioned Meditations by Marcus AureliusSteven Stosny's Adult vs. Toddler Brain Model (Referenced via Shaun's Conan the Barbarian vs. Sherlock Holmes Brain framework)Will Storr's Status Dynamics ResearchThe Three-Second Pause: A behavioral regulation framework where a parent steps into the prefrontal cortex ("Sherlock brain") before responding to conflict.Raising Men: https://raising.men

    Performative Strength vs Authentic Power
  5. 17 Aug

    Why Parenting Boys is Harder Than Ever with Jennifer L. W. Fink

    Jennifer L.W. Fink returns to Raising Men to explore why raising boys today feels increasingly complex and how parents can guide them with clarity and intentionality. Bringing decades of experience as a nurse, mother of four sons, and author of Building Boys, Jennifer addresses the cultural pressures, pathologized narratives, and digital environments shaping young males. Together, Shaun and Jennifer unpack the developmental differences between boys and girls, highlighting how misunderstandings about male growth often lead to unnecessary friction at home and in school. They discuss the unique challenges of modern parenting, from hyper-scrutiny on social media to the loss of traditional community institutions, and offer practical ways mothers and fathers can foster real-world connections. Ultimately, Jennifer shares why looking past idealized expectations to truly connect with the boy right in front of you is the most powerful principle for raising great men. Key Takeaways Developmental Timing Matters: Male developmental progress often differs from female timelines, and expecting young boys to sit still or perform academically too early can lead to unnecessary pathologizing.  Connection Over Absence of Sickness: True health and positive growth require active, forward-thinking support rather than simply trying to avoid negative outcomes or misbehavior.  Role Models Don't Need Perfection: Male influences and mentors do not have to be flawless to provide valuable guidance, life lessons, and positive examples for young boys.  Digital Pressures Require Vigilance: Modern boys face intense online environments, making intentional offline experiences and real-world relationships crucial for their growth.  Mothers and Fathers Face Distinct Pressures: Parents carry intense societal expectations regarding their sons' performance and behavior, making clear communication and patience essential. Chapter Markers04:39 Why Building Boys was written and released in paperback08:17 Health vs absence of sickness in raising boys10:30 Expectations vs reality and developmental differences14:17 Navigating school systems and male teacher shortages19:48 Why parenting boys is harder today than a decade ago22:23 Social media algorithms and permanent digital records27:20 Crumbling community institutions and parental pressure31:01 Finding masculine role models for sons without fathers in the home34:10 Embracing imperfection in mentors and role models38:47 The danger of seeking perfection over good guidance40:51 The one principle for raising excellent men: Connect with the boy in front of you Books, Links and Frameworks Mentioned Building Boys: Raising Great Guys in a World That Misunderstands Males by Jennifer L.W. Fink https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/building-boys-9798216455615/) & use promo code GLR RN2On Boys Podcast hosted by Jennifer L.W. Fink https://www.jenniferlwfink.com https://www.on-boys-podcast.com/Suffering Model: Suffering occurs when expectations do not match reality, which can be used intentionally to drive growth or unintentionally through misunderstandings.

    Why Parenting Boys is Harder Than Ever with Jennifer L. W. Fink
  6. 13 Aug

    Guided Meditation with Marc Krusin

    In this live short episode, host Shaun Dawson sits down with mindfulness expert Marc Krusin to step away from the standard interview format and experience a live guided meditation. Addressing his own daily struggles with staying relaxed and present, Shaun invites Marc to lead a five-part foundational mindfulness exercise designed to quiet a racing mind. Together, they explore box breathing, thought observation, and sensory awareness. Key Takeaways Box breathing serves as an incredibly effective, accessible tool to instantly soothe the nervous system and relax the physical body.Actively observing and counting your thoughts automatically slows them down by creating distance between your identity and the mental noise.Genuine mindfulness means training an awareness muscle to consistently return to the present moment without passing judgment on your mental state.Shifting attention away from specific content to focus on the physical space around you gives an overstimulated mind a rare opportunity to rest.Intuitive solutions, professional efficiency, and deeper relationship connection emerge naturally when we stop chasing every passing thought.We think we are our thoughts. We think that what we're thinking is literally us. But when we start to have the intention to observe them, that means that if we're observing them, they can't be us. Presence allows us to just be infinitely more efficient and effective in terms of our thinking and in terms of our tasks and in terms of our workflow. 00:00 Welcome01:15 Four-count box breathing exercise 01:42 Live breathing03:29 Watching the mind exercise 04:43 Observing and counting internal thoughts 05:34 Tracking racing thoughts 06:04 Consciousness observing our thoughts 11:21 Shaun’s mountain ski lift metaphor 15:30 Practicing sensory awareness 22:54 The costs of context switching and the benefits of mindfulness Books, Links and Frameworks Mentioned Email: marc@marckrusin.comhttps://www.marckrusin.com/Website: The Bright Path https://www.thebrightpath.com/en/ Framework - Box Breathing: Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts. Framework - Watching the Mind: The intentional act of observing and counting thoughts to build an awareness muscle and separate identity from mental chatter. Framework - Spatial Awareness Rest: Intentionally shifting attention from specific objects or content to rest on the physical space between yourself and your device, or the space within the entire room.

    Guided Meditation with Marc Krusin
  7. 10 Aug

    Navigating the Pink Light with Mayra Clay and Marc Krusin

    Modern parents face the ongoing challenge of raising children in an "always on" world saturated with digital noise. In this episode, host Shaun Dawson sits down with London-based meditation teachers Mayra Clay and Marc Krusin to discuss how emotional awareness, stillness, and presence can transform family dynamics. Myra and Mark share how Bright Path Ascension Meditation techniques offer a practical way to quiet the mind without requiring hours of isolated retreat. They emphasize that true strength lies in internal awareness rather than mere external composure, shedding light on the distinction between inner peace and outer stillness. The conversation explores how parents model emotional regulation for their sons, navigating intense childhood triggers through calm presence rather than frustration. By shifting away from control and embracing simple daily practices, parents can help their children develop long-term internal resilience. Key Takeaways Inner Peace vs. Outer Stillness: True meditation and presence address internal mental turmoil rather than forcing an artificial state of external quiet.Leading by Example: Children absorb emotional regulation by watching their parents remain calm and fully present during challenging moments.Flexible Integration: Ascension meditation techniques can be practiced with eyes open during daily interactions, seamlessly fitting into a busy schedule.Separating Frustration from Correction: Addressing a child's unkind or dangerous behavior from a state of pure presence is far more effective than reacting out of personal anger or embarrassment.The Limited Window: The timeframe during which children are deeply open to parental guidance is short, making daily presence essential."It's not about escaping from daily life, it's about becoming fully present within daily life. "Children are so present, they're often not really the ones that are a problem... it's really us that try and control them. "There is a fundamental distinction between inner turmoil and outer freneticness."00:00 Digital noise and raising sons in an always-on world 01:05 Introduction 02:08 Explaining the foundations of Bright Path Ascension Meditation 03:40 Shaun on levelheadedness, triggers, and childhood anger 06:33 Inner turmoil versus outer stillness in active children 08:33 Modeling emotional presence and self-regulation for kids 13:30 Using prefrontal cortex awareness over reactive emotional states 19:20 Practicing eyes-open meditation techniques during daily routines 22:28 The origin and message behind The Boy in the Pink Light 27:03 Cultural perspectives on masculinity between Mexico and the UK 31:46 How internal emotional stress affects young boys beneath the surface 34:48 One principle for parents: getting present and honoring the short window Books, Links and Frameworks Mentioned Bright Path Ascension Meditation: A simple meditation practice based on praise, gratitude, love, and appreciation, adaptable for eyes-closed or eyes-open daily use.The Boy in the Pink Light: A children's book by Mayra Clay designed to guide kids and parents toward internal heart-centered awareness.Conan the Barbarian vs. Sherlock Holmes Brain: Shaun Dawson's neuroscience metaphor contrasting reactive amygdala responses with logical prefrontal cortex processing.

    Navigating the Pink Light with Mayra Clay and Marc Krusin
  8. 6 Aug

    How a Father's Calm Sets the Tone for the Home with Mike Elliot

    In this episode of Raising Men, host Shaun Dawson sits down with relational guide Mike Elliott to explore what it truly means to lead a family with presence, purpose, and emotional safety. Moving beyond the traditional mandate of simply providing a paycheck, Mike breaks down how true security is created when a father cultivates a home where vulnerability and connection can thrive. The conversation examines the loss of cultural rites of passage, defining how healthy initiation requires both intentional challenge and a supportive community to integrate lessons into manhood. Shaun and Mike address the trap of "mental masturbation"—over-consuming self-help content without taking real-world action—and illustrate how an under-resourced man can inadvertently create unsafety at home. Ultimately, this powerful episode serves as a compelling call for men to seek authentic brotherhood, confront their inner wounds, and embrace the tenderness of their own hearts. Key Takeaways Emotional safety in the home is a father's most essential provision, rendering material wealth meaningless if relationships remain toxic or disconnected.Healthy initiation requires intentional tension and pressure followed by community integration to transform a boy into a grounded man.Over-consuming information without real-world application acts as a distraction that leaves men weaker and disconnected from their bodies.An under-resourced man who neglects his physical, mental, or spiritual well-being becomes reactive and creates unsafety for his family.True brotherhood relies on relational reciprocity, requiring men to build safe spaces where they can express vulnerability and hold each other accountable.If we don't have emotional safety in our homes, the paycheck and how it is used is worthless. - Mike Elliott If we have an under resourced man, we have a dangerous man. - Mike Elliott True leadership that's embodied and connected to real life is a man that is so clear in the direction that he's going that the environment he creates around his very presence is nourishing to himself and to everyone around him." - Mike Elliott00:00 - The essence of true brotherhood and emotional legacy 01:34 - Introducing relational guide Mike Elliott 02:24 - Redefining the provider role beyond the paycheck 06:50 - Money as a tool vs a false sense of security 12:16 - Understanding the ancient framework of male initiation 17:36 - Why community integration converts challenge into strength 21:30 - Overcoming information overload and mental masturbation 25:36 - Defining embodied leadership in everyday life 28:00 - The danger of an under-resourced and disconnected man 34:31 - How parental presence supports a child's emotional health 40:24 - Finding the core relationships that sharpen your character 46:00 - Embracing the tenderness of a man's hear Books, Links and Frameworks Mentioned Dr. Dan Siegel's Childhood Integration Framework – Psychological work on emotional health and how parents make sense of their past.The Initiated Man – Mike Elliott's training program and community designed for male initiation.Skool Community – The online platform hosting the Initiated Man community https://skool.com/initiatedmanRelational Reciprocity Framework – The practice of mutual accountability and safe vulnerability between trusted men.

    How a Father's Calm Sets the Tone for the Home with Mike Elliot

About

Raising Men is a podcast about parenting, masculinity, and the lifelong journey of raising sons—and ourselves—to be men of courage, character, and purpose. Hosted by Shaun Dawson, each episode features real conversations with parents, leaders, and thinkers redefining what it means to raising men in today’s world.

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