The Adoption Files

Ande Stanley
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  • Social Sciences
  • Updated weekly

The Adoption files seeks to provide a place for adoptees and allies to discuss the laws preventing adoptees from accessing their identities, and the emotional and physical challenges adoptees face in the process of dealing with the obstacles we face. We recognize the need to expose the problematic aspects of the adoption industry and the narrative they perpetuate. We will not only talk about the laws and the challenges they create, but also the ways that the mythology around adoption impacts the way we move through our lives, as adopted people and as mothers and other family members.

  1. 3 days ago

    I am terrible at titles. Continuing the conversation about spiritual trauma as people impacted by adoption

    Yes, I am terrible at titles, and hate to mislead. Just laying that out there. Dani Joy, mother of loss to adoption and me, late discovery adopted person (as well as an intercountry adoptee from foster care in the UK to the US) continue to talk about deconstructing from the adoption narrative and from religious and spiritual trauma. What do they have to do with each other? Family loss is a profound spiritual trauma, and the belief systems we grew up in promote and glorify family loss via adoption. Dani can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoy Dani enjoys hearing from people. We are using the book Holy Hurt as a scaffold for our conversation. The book and information about the author can be found at: https://www.hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt Mentioned in the episode: https://drlauraeanderson.com/ Moms and adopted people are overrepresented in statistics for mental health issues, including suicidal ideation. Isolation and grief are two issues that profoundly impact our community. If you are in need of support, please reach out to someone. I am including some links to mental health helplines, as well as the link to Concerned United Birthparents and to Saving our Sisters. If anyone is aware of any adoptee -centric helplines that are not in some way controlled by the adoption industry, please let me know. Thank you! https://rainn.org/ https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-health https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ https://concernedunitedbirthparents.org/ https://www.savingoursistersadoption.org/ Saving our Sisters and CUB are not mental healthcare providers, but are or are aware of support groups and resources for moms. The opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinions The host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professional Thank you for listening!

  2. 18 Aug

    Feel the Feelings: continuing our conversation on spiritual trauma

    Hi! Please join me and my guest host Dani Joy as we continue with the next section of our conversation on spiritual trauma from our perspectives as a mother of loss to adoption and as a late discovery adopted person, raised in white, Christian contexts. Dani Joy is a mom and a homesteader. She can be found at:https://medium.com/@danijoy https://www.hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt Mentioned in the episode: https://editionsdujournal.groupelivre.com/products/ne-mappelez-pas-roxana?variant=48067092021505 https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=core+emotions+chart&form=HDRSC3&first=1 https://buddhistlearning.org/how-to-meditate-a-beginners-guide-to-buddhist-meditation/ This is a beginners quide to Buddhist meditation principles. Including this here is not an endorsement of a religion or a religious practice. This is provided because it includes what I was taught when attending meditation sessions at a local Buddhist monastery. Exploring our emotions, learning to recognize and to name them, can be overwhelming if we are not used to doing so. If you are feeling dysregulated or distressed, please seek support. I am including here links to some resources that might align with your needs. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ https://rainn.org/ https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-health The opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinions. The host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professional. Thank you for listening!

  3. 26 Jul

    How to use Spirituality as a Defense against Discomfort: Spiritual Bypassing

    Please join us as we continue our conversation around spiritual trauma and adoption as we work our way through the book Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing by Hillary L McBride PhD . Todays' episode explores the concept of spiritual bypassing as a coping mechanism to avoid feeling our core emotions. Joining me again today is Dani Joy, mom, homesteader, exvangelical. Dani can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoy https://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/ https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-health The opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinions. The host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professional. Thank you for listening!

  4. 22 Jul

    Your Feelings Matter: the Core Emotions and Spiritual Trauma

    Please join Dani Joy and I as we delve into the core emotions and how we are born with these crucial forms of communication. We continue to explore how adoption and spiritual trauma intersect, using the book Holly Hurt as a framework for our discussion. Dani Joy can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoy https://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/ Mentioned in the episode: https://www.relinquishedbook.com/ https://savingoursistersadoption.org/saving-our-sisters-about-us/ https://thefamilypreservationproject.com/ https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-health The opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinions The host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professional Thank you for listening!

  5. 12 Jul

    Victim, Villain, Valiant Hero: The Drama Triangle and Spiritual Trauma

    Please join Dani Joy and I as we continue our conversation about spiritual trauma and adoption. We are using the book Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing by Hillary L McBride, PhD as a scaffold for our conversation. We just started Chapter 5! How do the roles of victim, villain and rescuer play out in your life? What do they have to do with spiritual trauma? With adoption? Let us know what you think after you join us for the episode. Dani Joy can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoy She loves to hear from people! https://hillarylmcbride.com/books/ https://mental-health-matters.org/2021/01/20/what-is-the-karpman-drama-triangle/ https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-health The opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinions, The host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professional Thank you for listening!

  6. 8 Jul

    Let's: See What Develops: The Essentials. Continuing the conversation on spiritual trauma

    Please join Dani Joy and me as we continue to discuss spiritual trauma and adoption. I am a Late Discovery, Intercountry adopted person. Dani is a mother of loss to adoption. Dani can be found at https://medium.com/@danijoy https://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/generational-trauma https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12220155/ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6378493/ https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-health The opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinions the host is not a lawyer, therapist, or an adoption professional thank you for listening

  7. 30 Jun

    Returning to the Familiar: When we keep going back to things that hurt

    Please join Dani Joy and I as we continue to explore spiritual trauma using the book Holy Hurt by Hillary L McBride Phd as a scaffold for our discussion. How might these spiritual wounds relate to Dani's experience as a mother of loss to adoption? How has my being an adopted person been shaped by spiritual trauma? In this installment we talk about the return to the familiar, even when the familiar hurts. Dani Joy is a mother of loss to adoption, a homesteader and blogger. She can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoy https://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20355967 https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24881-cptsd-complex-ptsd https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-health The opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinions The host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professional Thank you for listening.

  8. 26 Jun

    What we need from the beginning: Continuing the conversation on spiritual trauma

    Please join Dani Joy and I as we discuss the section What we need from the beginning, from the book Holy Hurt by Hilary L McBride, PhD. Dani is a mother of loss to adoption, as well as a homesteader, advocate and writer. Dani can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoy https://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/ https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-health The opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinions. The host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption professional Thank you for listening!

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About

The Adoption files seeks to provide a place for adoptees and allies to discuss the laws preventing adoptees from accessing their identities, and the emotional and physical challenges adoptees face in the process of dealing with the obstacles we face. We recognize the need to expose the problematic aspects of the adoption industry and the narrative they perpetuate. We will not only talk about the laws and the challenges they create, but also the ways that the mythology around adoption impacts the way we move through our lives, as adopted people and as mothers and other family members.

Information

  • Creator
    Ande Stanley
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    166
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Ande Stanley
  • Show Website
    The Adoption Files

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