Luke and Pete Talking Sheet

Luke and Pete

Honest, outrageous, distasteful, obscene, coarse and vulgar and that’s just what their friends say... Luke Craig and Peter Rethinasamy are two Stand-up comedians and best friends who are sick and tired of the polished conversations they hear spewing out of the main stream media. The constant tip toeing around what these people think is driving them insane. Tune in for an honest chat on a range of subjects and Dilemmas sent in from their listeners. Beware they don’t hold back. With over 500,000 social media and Youtube subscribers in under 9 months be a part of something that may just turn out to be a game changer!

  1. 3 DAYS AGO

    Girls Overheard on Talking Sheet (Special Guest Episode) | EP180

    On this week’s episode, the boys are joined by the Glasgow-based Girls Overheard podcast. Together they dive into dating, love, cheating, and why women might fall in love faster than men. And of course… it gets crazy and filthy, because Luke and Pete are involved. The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone! 👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind). Don’t miss it! To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list. If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail Help@lukeandPete.com or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜 Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss  https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete 0:00 introducing the girls  5:35 How we met + “are you dating each others brothers?” 9:06 “condoms are an ick” 15:33 what girls overheard podcast is about 19:08 what Luke gets sent on WhatsApp  22:34 is it different when a woman cheats? 26:13 women fall in love easier then men 34:37 The prank that made her cry 36:55 last time Luke and Pete got really upset with each other  43:49 piercings  48:04 Pete gets confused and comes across as a perv😂😂😂😂 49:10 “my partner won’t tell her family she’s  dating a brown man” 57:40 how measure penis length  59:10 “my partner won’t take of his condom when we have sex” 1:04:24 weird bedroom stuff  🎧 Podcast ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6 ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683 Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete  to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app. Find Peter Rethinasamy @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677 Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902 Find Luke Craig @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and some wonderful outtakes that we cant allow to go public lol https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete

    1h 13m
  2. 10 FEB

    “We Got Rejected by a 73 Year Old Adult entertainer” | 179 Luke & Pete

    On this week episode the boys contact Carolyn a 73 year old escort who look saw on another podcast and asked her to come on the show her response offended them both and they say why. This and so much more trouble on this episode. The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone! 👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind). Don’t miss it! To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list. If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail Help@lukeandPete.com or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜 Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss  https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete 0:00 How we would behave if we had house robots  13:29 “I was tricked while watching P*rn” 16:06 3 years in jail or 10 years probation? 30:35 “we contacted a 73 year old escort to come on the show and her reply killed us” 43:22 Eating from strangers and getting pranked  47:20 Weird voluntary sperm donor  53:00 Alexander the Great was gay  54:46 Dilemma: Is it wrong to swear?  1:02:55 Is it wrong to have favourite? 🎧 Podcast ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6 ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683 Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete  to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app. 0:00 How we would behave if we had house robots  13:29 “I was tricked while watching P*rn” 16:06 3 years in jail or 10 years probation? 30:35 “we contacted a 73 year old escort to come on the show and her reply killed us” 43:22 Eating from strangers and getting pranked  47:20 Weird voluntary sperm donor  53:00 Alexander the Great was gay  54:46 Dilemma: Is it wrong to swear?  1:02:55 Is it wrong to have favourite? Full video episode: On Youtube & Spotify  🎧 Podcast ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6 ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683 Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete  to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app. Find Peter Rethinasamy @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677 Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902 Find Luke Craig @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig

    1h 31m
  3. 3 FEB

    Would You Give Up Your PENIS to Stop World War 3? |EP178 Luke & Pete

    This week, the boys tackle the big questions: would you sacrifice your penis for world peace? Pete gets recognised in public at the worst possible time, and the conversation somehow ends up asking whether a micropenis is worse than losing your legs. The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone! 👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind). Don’t miss it! To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list. If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail Help@lukeandPete.com or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜 Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss  https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete 0:00 its chaotic in here  2:53 “It feel weird when people want to take a picture with me” 6:13 “The worst time to recognise me”(homeless man)  21:50 there is no reality + women getting ahead of themselves  26:07 dwarfs can fight  27:58 when your friends becomes your manager  29:01 Pete has finally sh!t himself  31:02 sex on tour  34:17 man went from highest paid tv job to working on a bus   38:14 being on job seekers allowance  43:16 working in Tk max as a kid  48:41 “”felt bad for the homeless man that’s is not homeless”  50:39 “would give up your penis to stop world war 3?” 1:07:08 guy with micro won’t come on the podcast  1:13:26 prefer a micro penis or lose your legs? 1:17:10 Dilemma about stealing food  Full video episode: On Youtube & Spotify  🎧 Podcast ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6 ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683 Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete  to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app. Find Peter Rethinasamy @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677 Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902 Find Luke Craig @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig

    1h 30m
  4. 27 JAN

    Mum vs Wife: The Impossible Choice Every Man Faces | EP177 Luke & Pete

    The Brooklyn Beckham situation exposes the problem every man has to face: mum or wife — who’s number one? Pete goes in hard on the Beckhams, while Luke admits he’s changing how he sees women as he gets older… and Pete absolutely refuses to let that happen 😂 The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone! 👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind). Don’t miss it! To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list. If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail Help@lukeandPete.com or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜 Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss  https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete 0:00 Tour details 4:29 Number 1 trait to look for in a woman  10:18 Attraction vs trust  16:54 Not finishing antibiotics can kill you 22:32 Sending messages to wrong person  26:57 My phone try’s to connect to the when I’m watching p0rn 30:42 Mum vs wife who do you choose? (The beckhams) 1:11:29 If a woman earns more than her husband more likely to divorce  1:15:47 Prank too far dilemma 1:32:23 Chat GTP is snitching  Full video episode: On Youtube & Spotify  🎧 Podcast ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6 ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683 Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete  to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app. Find Peter Rethinasamy @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677 Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902 Find Luke Craig @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig

    1h 45m
  5. 20 JAN

    “Why Do White Women Love LUBE So Much?” | EP176 Luke & Pete

    This week the boys talk about noticing a pattern that white women are really into LUBE and they tell each other their experiences. They also have a question from a Sheetster about when is it appropriate to just let a friendship they’ve outgrown die? That and plenty more chaos, honesty, and accidental oversharing in this week’s episode. 0:00 please don’t join if you if you can’t take a joke  3:08 Will my son want to like me one day? + charlotte is like Pete’s mum 26:10 “white women love lube” + selfish lover  37:52 Adam 22 let another man sleep with his wife now gonna fight him in the ring for money  46:26 how do you let a friendship die? 1:12:59 family members who want money  1:20:55 Fake scratch card prank too much  🎧 Podcast ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6 ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683 Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete  to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app. Find Peter Rethinasamy @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677 Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902 Find Luke Craig @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig

    1h 33m
  6. 13 JAN

    The secret to a long, happy marriage (it’s not what you think) | EP175 Luke & Pete

    What’s the real trait you need for a long, happy marriage?(It’s not what you think, and it’s going to annoy a lot of people.) Elsewhere, Pete is furious with the cast of Stranger Things, claiming that if he’d been given the chance, he’d have absolutely smashed it and carried the show on his back. Netflix, call him. And finally, we meet a man whose entire Christmas was destroyed… by a Deliveroo driver. Marriage truths, Hollywood delusion, and festive devastation — all in one episode. The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone! 👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind). Don’t miss it! To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list. If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail Help@lukeandPete.com or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜 Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss  https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete 0:00 Pete jealous of stranger things stars + and having envy  9:53 letting strangers into your life  11:38 best trait to have a happy marriage  19:54 Life after fame  24:25 Pete didn’t know Jordan’s where from Micheal Jordan  26:44 child stars + not working  35:56 36 year old woman sleeps with two boys  43:31 Shout out to one of our sick Sheetsters  46:48 “are we narcissists?” 51:52 “I hold grudges” 57:25 I can’t make new friends  1:05:35 no empathy + loved ones dying  1:12:06 Dilemma about delivery driver  Full video episode: On Youtube & Spotify  🎧 Podcast ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6 ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683 Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete  to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app. Find Peter Rethinasamy @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677 Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902 Find Luke Craig @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig

    1h 49m
  7. 6 JAN

    “I Hate When Women Do This in the Bedroom” | EP174 Luke & Pete

    On this week’s episode, the boys have a very good time breaking down what actually makes bad sex… bad. The conversation spirals into a list of emotional words that don’t exist in English, which unexpectedly unlocks a bunch of stories you rarely hear out loud. And Pete shares a hilarious tale about his dad ignoring instructions and somehow turning it into a very avoidable (and very funny) accident. The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone! 👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind). Don’t miss it! To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list. If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail Help@lukeandPete.com or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜 Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss  https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete 0:00 Luke & Pete bind over someone they HATE! 3:36 Bad moods & Panic attacks   7:29 What my brother Found in My House After Being Away Too Long 9:36 stress as an excuse for being fat  11:08 When Embarrassment Is a Management Style 16:07 Pete couldn’t be a CEO 17:09 Divorce Saved Him Millions 18:19 Pete hates management he know all their tricks  23:02 My kids make me feel so vulnerable I have anxiety  27:03 dealing with death  29:44 Pete’s dad funny Christmas story  35:59 Emotions English Has No Word For 40:46 Am I a cuck? 43:26 man does adult videos with his own brother  45:21 fake taxi  47:15 back to the words  52:42 stories of Pete being a dad  58:30 more words  1:00:00 Pete is a very jealous person  1:02:57 making horrible jokes isn’t funny  1:13:19 more words  1:17:17 bad sex  1:23:17 The filth!!!!! 1:24:49 more words  Full video episode: On Youtube & Spotify  🎧 Podcast ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6 ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683 Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete  to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app. Find Peter Rethinasamy @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677 Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902 Find Luke Craig @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig

    1h 34m
  8. 30/12/2025

    Accidental Racism, Cheating & Naked wrestling | EP173

    This week we ask the big questions: why would a man cheat after 30 years of loyalty? If someone says something racist by accident, should it be held against them? Pete also finds himself defending naked wrestling. Plus, we tackle a listener dilemma about escaping a life of crime with no money saved — do you risk one last push to get ahead, or settle for a low-paid job that could become a lifelong trap? The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone! 👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind). Don’t miss it! To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list. If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail Help@lukeandPete.com or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜 Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss  https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete 0:00 we’ve had some complaints  3:54 Cutting out screens, sugar and sex for the new year  7:54 Pete doesn’t think he need to change anything  10:46 Ai ruining our creativity + stealing ideas  23:01 octopus have nine brains and can taste with their arms 24:23 taking advantage of aliens + why would he cheat after 30 years of being faithful? 29:06 life must look different from the top  31:20 Pete is proud he learnt something new  34:07 when someone says something racist by accident  36:34 crab mentality + bringing poor and famous  54:29 Pete justifies his naked wrestling  57:37 man leaves girlfriend because of how many men she’s been with  1:04:28 people who have no empathy + borrowing money and not paying it back  1:10:39 Question: I’m trying to leave a life of crime but haven’t saved any money, what should I do? Full video episode: On Youtube & Spotify  🎧 Podcast ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6 ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683 Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete  to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app. Find Peter Rethinasamy @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677 Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902 Find Luke Craig @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig

    1h 41m

About

Honest, outrageous, distasteful, obscene, coarse and vulgar and that’s just what their friends say... Luke Craig and Peter Rethinasamy are two Stand-up comedians and best friends who are sick and tired of the polished conversations they hear spewing out of the main stream media. The constant tip toeing around what these people think is driving them insane. Tune in for an honest chat on a range of subjects and Dilemmas sent in from their listeners. Beware they don’t hold back. With over 500,000 social media and Youtube subscribers in under 9 months be a part of something that may just turn out to be a game changer!

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