Closer To You

Steph Chaffee

Welcome to Closer to You, the podcast for deeper mother-daughter connection. Hosted by Steph Chaffee—mother of five and Master Certified Coach. Come as you are messy bun, yoga pants, and all for heart-to-heart chats with your most understanding friend. Closer to You: A Mother–Daughter Connection Podcast For women who long for healing, emotional safety, and true connection with their mothers or daughters — this is your space. Welcome to Closer to You, the podcast for mothers and daughters who love each other deeply… but also sometimes drive each other a little bit crazy. Hosted by Steph Chaffee, Master Certified Trauma-Informed Life & Family Coach, Nervous System Specialist, and mom of five daughters, this show blends science, soul, and lived experience to help you heal generational patterns and create the close, trusting relationship you’ve always wanted. If you’ve ever wondered… • Why does talking to her feel so hard? • Why do small conversations turn into big feelings? • Why do I feel anxious, guilty, or shut down around her? • Is it too late for us to reconnect? …you’re in the right place. Each episode is warm, conversational, faith-aligned, and grounded in nervous system science, emotional resilience, and real, doable tools you can use today. You’ll learn to communicate with more calm and clarity, set loving boundaries, understand triggers, start the path to repair past hurt, and create emotionally safe relationships — even if things have been strained or silent for years. What You’ll Hear: • Mother-daughter communication tools that actually work • How to calm your nervous system so you can respond instead of react • Healing childhood wounds and breaking generational patterns • Co-regulation, emotional safety, and resilience • How to handle anxiety, depression, grief, conflict, and distance • Scripts, prompts, and real-life examples you can use right away • Stories from Steph’s own journey raising five daughters + healing from her complicated relationship with her mother Whether you’re a mom trying to reconnect with your teen or adult daughter, or a daughter longing for a softer, healthier relationship with your mom — this podcast will help you bridge the gap with compassion, courage, and love. This Podcast Is For You If You’re Searching For: Mother-daughter healing • emotional connection • nervous system regulation • how to rebuild trust • generational trauma healing • Christian women’s emotional health • parent-child reconnection • healing strained relationships • communication tools for families • trauma-informed parenting • mother-daughter boundaries • mother-daughter grief • how to talk without arguing • emotional safety • attachment repair • faith and family healing • breaking generational cycles Because here’s what I know: You deserve a mother-daughter relationship that feels safe, warm, and deeply connected. And it’s not too late. Healing happens one gentle, loving step at a time. If you’re ready to begin creating the relationship you’ve always hoped for, start listening today. ✨ To go deeper, schedule your Relationship Renewal Call with Steph and start healing your mother-daughter relationship from the inside out. Stephchaffee.com

Episodes

  1. 20 JAN

    11. The Power of Listening- Why Being Heard Heals

    The Power of Listening — Why Being Heard Heals Have you ever opened your heart to your mother or daughter… only to feel dismissed, misunderstood, or met with advice you didn’t ask for? That pain isn’t just emotional — it’s biological. In this episode of Closer to You, we explore why being truly heard is one of the most healing experiences in any relationship, and why listening — real, nervous-system-safe listening — can transform connection even when conversations feel tense or emotional.  If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation thinking, “She just doesn’t hear me,” this episode is for you. Steph gently breaks down how listening calms the nervous system, why our bodies often go into defense mode during emotional conversations, and how learning to listen without fixing, correcting, or defending can rebuild trust and emotional safety — especially in mother–daughter relationships. You’ll learn why listening is not about agreement or solutions, but about presence — and how small shifts in your body, breath, and attention can help the other person feel safe, valued, and understood. Because when someone feels heard, healing begins. ✨ In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Why being heard is essential for emotional and nervous system regulation How safe listening creates co-regulation and emotional safety What listening is not (and why fixing, defending, or correcting shuts connection down) Why listening feels so hard when emotions run high How your nervous system reacts to conflict — and how to calm it in real time Simple nervous system tools to help you stay present and grounded while listening How to send micro-signals of safety that help your mom or daughter feel valued Why listening builds trust, even when you don’t agree 🧠 Key Takeaway Listening doesn’t require solutions. It requires safety, presence, and a regulated nervous system. When someone feels heard, their body relaxes — and connection becomes possible again. ✍️ Reflection Questions- When do I feel most heard — and what does it feel like in my body? In which moments do I struggle most to listen fully? What’s one small way I can show my mom or daughter, “I’m listening. You matter.” 💛 Support for Deeper Connection If listening feels hard — especially in emotionally charged relationships — you don’t have to figure it out alone. ✨ Download the free 3-Step Nervous System Reset at StephChaffee.com to help your body stay calm and present during difficult conversations. If you’re ready for personalized support, you’re invited to schedule a Relationship Renewal Call at StephChaffee.com, where we’ll gently explore how to create safer, more connected communication in your most important relationships. I am Cheering You On!

    11 min
  2. 13 JAN

    10. When Repair Isn't Possible- Grieving, Healing, and Finding Your Own Peace

    When Repair Isn’t Possible — Grieving, Healing, and Finding Your Own Peace What do you do when the relationship you hoped to heal… never does? When there’s no apology, no reconciliation, no moment where everything finally makes sense — just silence, distance, or loss that still aches in your body? In this deeply compassionate episode of Closer to You, Steph shares personal tender experiences from her life. We talk about one of the most painful and rarely discussed experiences in mother–daughter relationships: when repair isn’t possible, and you’re left grieving what never was — or what can no longer be. This episode is for you if: Your mother or daughter has passed away  Your daughter isn’t speaking to you Your mother refuses to acknowledge the hurt You’ve tried again and again — and nothing changes You’re exhausted from waiting for repair that may never come. Steph gently explains why this kind of grief feels so heavy in your nervous system, why it can show up as exhaustion, numbness, irritability, or hopelessness — and how healing does not require the other person’s participation. Drawing on nervous system science, grief research, and lived experience, this conversation helps you understand: Why grief is “love with nowhere to land” How the nervous system responds to unresolved relational loss The difference between acceptance and giving up Why her lack of readiness is not a reflection of your worth How to begin self-repair when reconciliation isn’t an option -You’ll also learn gentle, practical ways to calm your body when the ache feels overwhelming, how to maintain connection through memory and ritual when someone has passed, and how to reclaim peace — even while honoring your love and longing. ”This episode does not rush healing. It does not bypass grief. And it does not tell you to “just move on." It reminds you of this truth: Even when repair isn’t possible, peace still is. ✨ In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Why unresolved mother–daughter grief feels different in the body How grief impacts the nervous system (dorsal shutdown, fatigue, fog) What to do when your mother or daughter has died. How to cope when she isn’t ready — or willing — to repair. Why waiting for closure keeps your nervous system stuck. How to practice self-repair and rebuild inner safety Gentle tools to soothe the ache without suppressing love How to honor grief while still moving toward peace 🧠 Key Takeaway Healing does not require her readiness. Repair can begin — and peace can grow — within you. ✍️ Reflection Questions What am I still longing for in this relationship? How can I honor that love without abandoning myself? What would it feel like to stop waiting and start healing? 💛 Support for Your Healing If this episode touched something tender — that place where grief, love, and exhaustion meet — you don’t have to walk this alone. ✨ Download the free 3-Step Nervous System Reset at StephChaffee.com for moments when the ache feels heavy in your body. And if you’re ready for deeper, personalized support, you’re invited to schedule a Relationship Renewal Call, where we’ll gently explore your story and create a path toward peace, safety, and self-trust. Cheering you on!!

    15 min
  3. 6 JAN

    9. Creating Confidence and Light in Your Life and Relationship Again

    Starting the New Year with Hope and Joy — Creating Confidence and Light in Your Life Again As a new year begins, many women feel pressure to reinvent themselves overnight — new goals, new habits, a “New You.” If you’re feeling tired, tender, or quietly craving something softer, this episode offers a different path. In this episode of Closer to You, we explore how to begin the new year with hope, joy, and confidence — not through resolutions or hustle, but through nervous system safety, self-compassion, and love-led living. This conversation is for you if last year brought grief, disappointment, burnout, or emotional exhaustion — or if hope feels fragile right now. Steph gently explains why hope can feel hard after loss, how your nervous system protects you from future let-downs, and how confidence is not a personality trait but a regulated nervous system state. You’ll learn how joy is built through small, meaningful moments, why presence matters more than positivity, and how to rebuild trust in life again — one safe step at a time. Steph also shares a personal story of honoring grief while choosing care, reminding listeners that sadness and joy can coexist. This episode invites you to let go of pressure, reconnect with yourself, and start the year rooted in love — toward yourself, your relationships, and the life you’re creating. Because joy isn’t something we chase. It’s something we allow. ✨ In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Why hope can feel difficult after loss, burnout, or disappointment. How your nervous system protects you from getting hurt again. What joy really is — and why it doesn’t look like constant happiness. Why confidence is a nervous system state, not a personality trait. How safety and connection rebuild resilience and self-trust. A simple four-layer practice to rebuild hope and joy gently. How to hold grief and gratitude at the same time Why love — toward yourself and others — is the foundation for lasting joy. 🧠 Key Takeaway You don’t need a new version of yourself this year. You just get to return to yourself — gently, safely, and with love. ✍️ Reflection Prompts- What is one small thing that brings me joy that I can make space for this year? How can I care for my body and nervous system when grief or tenderness surfaces? What would it look like to let love lead my choices this year? 💛 Ready to Begin the Year with Support? If this episode stirred something in you — that quiet desire to feel lighter, steadier, and more connected — you don’t have to navigate it alone. ✨ Schedule your Relationship Renewal Call at StephChaffee.com, and together we’ll create emotional safety, confidence, and connection in the relationships that matter most. Be sure to download the free 3-Step Nervous System Reset, a simple daily tool to help your body return to calm, hope, and grounded confidence.

    15 min
  4. 30/12/2025

    8. Beyond The Holidays- Letting Go Of The Emotional Weight You've Been Carrying

    Beyond the Holidays — Letting Go Of The Emotional Weight You’ve Been Carrying. After the holidays end and the house finally goes quiet, many women notice something surprising: instead of relief, there’s a deep tiredness, emotional heaviness, or a sense of crashing after holding it all together. If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. In this episode of Closer to You, we talk about the quiet after the storm — that tender space when your nervous system finally stops bracing and your body begins to reveal just how much emotional weight it’s been carrying. This conversation is a gentle invitation to pause, soften, and begin setting down what was never yours to hold in the first place. You’ll learn how emotional weight builds quietly over time, why caring often turns into carrying, and how your nervous system shows signs of weariness long before your mind catches up. Steph weaves together nervous system wisdom, practical regulation tools, and powerful insights from leaders like Deb Dana, Dr. Bruce Perry, and Dr. Anita Phillips to help you understand what your body is asking for now. As Dr. Anita Phillips reminds us, resilience doesn’t come from pushing harder — it comes from caring for the body so it can rest, recover, and prepare for whatever storms may come next. This episode is not about fixing yourself. It’s about listening to your body with kindness… and letting go with compassion. ✨ In This Episode, You’ll Learn: • Why post-holiday exhaustion is a nervous system response — not a personal failure • How emotional weight shows up in your body before you recognize it mentally • The subtle difference between caring deeply and carrying too much • Why emotional roles formed in survival don’t always serve you anymore • How emotional weight turns into physical and emotional weariness • Gentle grounding tools to help your body release overload • What letting go actually looks like in real life (quiet, doable, loving shifts) • How to build connection that feels balanced instead of draining • The shift from emotional over-functioning to calm, steady presence. Key Takeaway You are not meant to be the emotional container for everyone else. When you release what doesn’t belong to you, your nervous system — and your relationships — begin to heal. 💛 Gentle Invitation If this episode stirred something — that mix of relief and grief that comes when you realize how much you’ve been holding — you don’t have to navigate it alone. ✨ Schedule your Relationship Renewal Call at StephChaffee.com, and together we’ll gently explore what you’re ready to release and how to create the calm, connected relationships you desire. And don’t forget to download your free 3-Step Nervous System Reset your go-to tool for grounding yourself when old patterns try to pull you back in. Take a deep breath, my friend. Your emotional load gets lighter from here. post holiday emotional exhaustion, nervous system recovery, emotional burnout in women, mother daughter relationship healing, emotional overfunctioning, caring vs carrying emotions, trauma informed healing, nervous system regulation tools, emotional boundaries with family, grief after holidays, emotional resilience, polyvagal theory for women, healing generational patterns, emotional safety in relationships, Christian women emotional health, Closer to You podcast

    13 min
  5. 23/12/2025

    7. Rewriting Holiday Stress From The Inside Out

    The Stories We Tell Ourselves — Rewriting Holiday Stress from the Inside Out The holidays don’t just stress us out because of busy schedules or family dynamics — often, it’s the stories we tell ourselves about what’s happening that quietly create anxiety, overwhelm, and emotional distance. In this episode of Closer to You, we explore how your thoughts shape your nervous system, your emotional experience, and your ability to stay calm and connected with your mother or daughter during the holiday season. Once your body learns how to feel safe, the next step is teaching your mind to believe it. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking: “Why am I the only one who cares?” “She didn’t text back — she must be upset.” “If I don’t do this perfectly, everyone will be disappointed.” —you’re not broken. Your brain is doing exactly what it was designed to do… just a little too well. In this episode, Steph gently blends cognitive awareness with nervous system regulation, helping you notice, name, and rewrite automatic negative thoughts so they no longer run your season — or your relationships. You’ll learn how expectations quietly trigger stress, how your body reacts to worried thoughts as if they’re real threats, and how small mindset shifts can bring real calm, clarity, and connection. Because peace isn’t just about what happens around you — it’s about what happens inside you. ✨ In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Why automatic negative thoughts spike stress so quickly How your thoughts send direct signals to your nervous system. The hidden impact of expectations and the “should” trap. The simple thought–feeling–body connection explained clearly. A practical Pause–Name–Reframe tool to calm your mind in real time. Why your brain has a negativity bias — and how to gently retrain it. How gratitude “glimmers” help your body register safety. Why changing your inner story can change your entire holiday experience. Need more support? Go to- Stephchaffee.com  to connect with Steph

    13 min
  6. 16/12/2025

    #6 When You Are Too Tired To Do It All-A New Way To Do The Holidays

    The Holiday Survival Checklist — When You Are Too Tired To Do It All-A New Way To Do The Holidays 📝 Episode Description / Show Notes The holidays are supposed to feel joyful… So why do they often leave you exhausted, overwhelmed, and quietly fantasizing about escaping to a cabin in the woods? In this episode of Closer to You, we’re talking about a new way to do the holidays — one that protects your nervous system, honors your emotional limits, and helps you stay genuinely connected to the people you love most. If you’re the one who carries the calendar, the traditions, the emotional temperature of the room, and everyone’s expectations — this episode is especially for you. Steph gently walks you through a Holiday Survival Checklist rooted in nervous system science, emotional boundaries, and real-life compassion. You’ll learn why the holidays feel so overwhelming, how emotional over-functioning quietly drains your peace, and what it looks like to move from being the family peacemaker to becoming a steady peace holder. This episode isn’t about doing less out of resentment — it’s about doing things differently so you can stay calm, present, and connected without burning yourself out. Because peace doesn’t come from holding everything together. It comes from learning how to hold yourself steady. ✨ What You’ll Learn in This Episode Why the holidays overload your nervous system (and why that’s not a personal failure) How constant stimulation and family dynamics impact emotional regulation The hidden emotional labor many women carry during the holidays. Why “peacekeeping” leads to burnout — and what creates real peace instead How to plan for peace instead of perfection. Why choosing your pace is a nervous-system strategy, not selfishness Simple, in-the-moment regulation tools you can use at the dinner table. How to have honest, loving conversations about your limits The powerful shift from peacemaker to peace holder How protecting your peace actually deepens family connection. 🧠 Key Takeaway You don’t have to control the room to keep the connection. When your nervous system stays grounded, you become the calm others can feel. ✍️ Reflection Prompts As you move through this season, gently ask yourself: What value do I want to guide me this holiday season? What would “good enough” look like this year? How do I want my body to feel when it’s all over — peaceful, proud, present? There are no right answers — just honest ones. 💛 Ready for Support This Season? If the holidays feel complicated, heavy, or emotionally loaded — you don’t have to navigate them alone. ✨ Schedule a Relationship Renewal Call today, at stephchaffee.com  and together we’ll begin creating calmer communication, healthier boundaries, and a relationship with your mother or daughter that feels peaceful, connected, and true to who you are. This Episode is all about-holiday stress relief for women, nervous system regulation during holidays, mother daughter relationship healing, emotional boundaries with family, trauma-informed parenting, managing holiday overwhelm, family dynamics during holidays, emotional safety in relationships, calming anxiety at family gatherings, polyvagal theory holidays, emotional regulation tools, Christian women emotional health, healing generational patterns, communication tools for families, staying calm during holidays, holiday burnout recovery, mother daughter podcast

    18 min
  7. #5: The Weight We Carry: Guilt, Shame

    09/12/2025

    #5: The Weight We Carry: Guilt, Shame

    Episode 5: The Weight We Carry — Guilt, Shame & the Mother-Daughter Cycle Have you ever laid awake at night replaying a conversation with your mom or daughter? That little voice saying “I shouldn’t have said that… I should’ve been more patient…” — only to feel guilt slip into the heavier weight of shame? In this episode of Closer to You, we’re unpacking the real difference between guilt and shame, how they show up in your nervous system, and how to move from self-punishment into self-compassion. You’ll hear: The key difference between guilt (I did something wrong) and shame (I am something wrong). How guilt can guide us back toward repair while shame keeps us stuck. The “Shame Reset” tool you can use anytime that heavy voice takes over. What happens when we suppress emotions. A 3-step process to loosen guilt and repair connection with small but powerful gestures. ✨ Plus, I’ll share journal prompts to help you soften guilt, release shame, and choose connection — again and again. Because here’s the truth: guilt and shame don’t mean you’re broken. They mean you care. And connection with your mom or daughter is always possible — even if it’s messy, even if it takes time. Resources + Links:  Grab my free guide: 3-Step Nervous System Reset  Book your Relationship Renewal Call at stephchaffee.com If this episode encouraged you, please leave a review — it helps other women find hope and connection, too. And don’t forget to share it with a friend who needs this reminder today.

    10 min
  8. #2: The Mother Wound: Name It, Understand It, Heal It

    18/11/2025

    #2: The Mother Wound: Name It, Understand It, Heal It

    Episode 2: The Mother Wound — Naming, Understanding & Healing It For so many women, the mother wound is something carried quietly but rarely named out loud. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your mom. It doesn’t mean she didn’t try. It means that somewhere along the way, certain needs went unmet—and those tender places can still echo in how you show up today with your mom, your daughter, or even yourself. In this episode of Closer to You, we’ll explore: What the mother wound actually is (and isn’t). Why siblings can have completely different experiences of the “same” parent. How your nervous system holds on to old hurts—and why you might feel like a little girl again around your mom. Gentle, body-based steps to begin shifting from ache to healing. We’ll also reflect on Dr. Gabor Maté’s words: “No two children have the same parents.” When you understand how true this is, you can release some of the blame and begin moving toward compassion—for yourself and maybe even for her. If you’ve ever thought, “Why does she still trigger me?” or “Why do I feel invisible around her?”—this episode will help you name it, tend to it, and take the first steps toward healing. ✨ Plus, I’ll share journal prompts to guide you as you reflect on where old wounds still linger and how to bring yourself the compassion you’ve always needed. Resources & Links Free Guide: 3-Step Nervous System Reset  Work with Steph: Book your Relationship Renewal Call at stephchaffee.com

    11 min

About

Welcome to Closer to You, the podcast for deeper mother-daughter connection. Hosted by Steph Chaffee—mother of five and Master Certified Coach. Come as you are messy bun, yoga pants, and all for heart-to-heart chats with your most understanding friend. Closer to You: A Mother–Daughter Connection Podcast For women who long for healing, emotional safety, and true connection with their mothers or daughters — this is your space. Welcome to Closer to You, the podcast for mothers and daughters who love each other deeply… but also sometimes drive each other a little bit crazy. Hosted by Steph Chaffee, Master Certified Trauma-Informed Life & Family Coach, Nervous System Specialist, and mom of five daughters, this show blends science, soul, and lived experience to help you heal generational patterns and create the close, trusting relationship you’ve always wanted. If you’ve ever wondered… • Why does talking to her feel so hard? • Why do small conversations turn into big feelings? • Why do I feel anxious, guilty, or shut down around her? • Is it too late for us to reconnect? …you’re in the right place. Each episode is warm, conversational, faith-aligned, and grounded in nervous system science, emotional resilience, and real, doable tools you can use today. You’ll learn to communicate with more calm and clarity, set loving boundaries, understand triggers, start the path to repair past hurt, and create emotionally safe relationships — even if things have been strained or silent for years. What You’ll Hear: • Mother-daughter communication tools that actually work • How to calm your nervous system so you can respond instead of react • Healing childhood wounds and breaking generational patterns • Co-regulation, emotional safety, and resilience • How to handle anxiety, depression, grief, conflict, and distance • Scripts, prompts, and real-life examples you can use right away • Stories from Steph’s own journey raising five daughters + healing from her complicated relationship with her mother Whether you’re a mom trying to reconnect with your teen or adult daughter, or a daughter longing for a softer, healthier relationship with your mom — this podcast will help you bridge the gap with compassion, courage, and love. This Podcast Is For You If You’re Searching For: Mother-daughter healing • emotional connection • nervous system regulation • how to rebuild trust • generational trauma healing • Christian women’s emotional health • parent-child reconnection • healing strained relationships • communication tools for families • trauma-informed parenting • mother-daughter boundaries • mother-daughter grief • how to talk without arguing • emotional safety • attachment repair • faith and family healing • breaking generational cycles Because here’s what I know: You deserve a mother-daughter relationship that feels safe, warm, and deeply connected. And it’s not too late. Healing happens one gentle, loving step at a time. If you’re ready to begin creating the relationship you’ve always hoped for, start listening today. ✨ To go deeper, schedule your Relationship Renewal Call with Steph and start healing your mother-daughter relationship from the inside out. Stephchaffee.com