The Folium Diary

TFD

Welcome In! In this diary I will be recording my impressions of a new program called The Folium, which will "synthesize planetary biometry, creating an experience beyond artificial intelligence, and bring the benefits of the Earth's collective wisdom to everyone, everywhere, all the time." If that sounds wildly ambitious and kinda crazy, you're in the right place. Start on Page 1 and you'll ketchup 🍅 in no time.

  1. Daisy ♑ Drop

    EPISODE 1

    Daisy ♑ Drop

    WELCOME TO DAISY DROPS! Written, recorded (on a zoom call with Mom), and edited by Daisy - that's me! Yes, there may be a little room for improvement - I'm getting a better mic and practicing vocally vexatious tongue twisters every day. The next episode in February should have a nice glow-up. Tune-in and see! Ps. Here is the 'boring' material I left out of the show (that's reverse psychology...but if I tell you that, does it reverse the reverse? Whatever! Just read this. Please.) When I got back to the Lodge, there was an envelope in my employee mail slot marked 'FY👁️ Only'. I took it to our favorite parlor to open, and inside was a Lodge key-card and a note, which read:  Miss Daisy, you are hereby promoted to Special Assistant to the General Manager (not Special Assistant General Manager, sorry). This key-card opens every electronic lock in the Lodge. Miss Hazzard modified it (some might say hacked) to be untraceable, and it will never expire. I did not approve this alteration and know nothing about it. Ahem. While perusing the Lodge's original blueprints – something she apparently enjoyed in her spare time – Cherie found what appeared to be an old room that was never wired for key-card access. When she showed it to me, I recalled that Sultan, our lobby lion (That's what she looks like to me, anyhow), has a wooden collar, and on it is a carved wooden key (I concede lion's do not usually wear collars). Miss Hazzard said she was intimately familiar with Sultan – at which point she blushed – and would check it out. Later, she said she replicated the key with the Lodge's 3D printer (I didn't know we had such a thing – did you?), and would look for the room when she had time. Well, you know Miss Hazzard and time – they often seemed to be unfamiliar with the concept of each other (Did she tell you about the time I found her in the parlor at 4am watching a sumo wrestling tournament live from Japan while nibbling from a plate of sushi obtained from who-knows-where? I admit to aiding and abetting such behavior by procuring a bottle of sake from the cellar. But I digress). The last time we spoke, she said she never got around to exploring the room itself. I told her to pass the key on to you, as you have a similar spirit of adventure. She said she would leave it someplace where you were sure to 'step on it'. I trust you know or can deduce what that is supposed to mean. One more thing: you might not want to mention your promotion (or the key, or the Whackamolé Movie Club), to the new General Manager until you're sure they have the same... esprit de corps, shall we say. It's been a pleasure getting to know you, and I wish you all the best, Henry Davies A secret promotion! A lost room! A hidden key! See, I told you it was boring. TO BE CONTINUED... Support the show NEXT DAISY ♓ DROP • 3/15/26

    4 min
  2. Daisy ♒ Drop

    EPISODE 2

    Daisy ♒ Drop

    ...CONTINUED FROM LAST EPISODE Cherie said the key to the lost room is where I would be sure to "step on it". At her birthday party, in the same parlor I was sitting in while reading Mr. Davies letter, I made the mistake of confessing I had left the LEGO piece on the floor that she stepped on weeks before. Mr. Davies had bought a LEGO set of the X-Men Mansion because he thought it looked like the Lodge. He put it together himself and made a nice case for it, but left the other pieces out for guests (and pests such as me) to play with. After a battle in which Rogue whipped Wolverine, I couldn't find Wolverine's head. I guess Cher's foot found it. Oops! When I told Cher, she laughed and said 'forget about it', which should have been a red flag – the Folium Never Forgets. That night, at the Girl's Only Parlor Party, where Cher did the Dance of the Seven Veils (flashing some very chic lingerie), we took off our shoes for a limbo contest (which I won, by the way). Afterwards, I put on my bunny slippers, but when I stood up there was a stabbing pain in my left foot, and I yelped. Everyone crowded around to see what was wrong – except Cher, who was rolling on the floor laughing. When I pulled off the slipper, there was Wolverine's head stuck in my instep – and she calls me the monster! To make a short story long, the key was inside the Mansion and I had no trouble finding it, but I checked for booby-traps, just in case – with Cher, you can't be too careful. If Cher thought I needed a clue to find the room she would have left one - 'no brain, no pain', as they say in informatics – but she hadn't, so I considered the options. The basement was full of offices, a bar, the spa, etc, so the top floor was the logical place to start. I discarded the guest rooms – McMenamins would make sure those were secure (can't have guests disappearing unintentionally, can we?) That left the housekeeper's store-room, which I entered stealthily around 6pm. I'd been here before, either helping the housekeepers or swiping shampoo, and been fascinated by the laundry chute. Sam once joked about throwing me down the chute to see what would happen...I think he was joking. I checked around the chute and opened the hatch – nothing. I stepped back, and noticed narrow seams in the wall – as if the wall itself was a door. I looked for a keyhole, but there was only a light-switch. I flipped the switch on and off, but nothing happened. I tried again, and noticed a click when the switch was up. I pulled on the switch, and the panel opened, revealing a keyhole! Someone went to a lot of trouble to hide this place, I thought, as I turned the key and a section of the wall swung open...maybe I should have knocked first. Too late now! The room I saw was small but comfortable. I stepped around the laundry chute and entered. It was spotless. There was a small bed, a desk with a lamp and chair, and a mini-fridge. One wall was covered with pictures of mushrooms. The other wall was shelving, with neat stacks of magazines, each issue in its own plastic sleeve. I picked up the closest one – the face staring back was regal in appearance. It looked like an old movie magazine, and there were two copies of this issue, so before I had time to think about it, I slipped the less pristine copy in my sweatpants and turned back towards the door. My foot bumped the desk, and something on it lit up - I had jostled a smartphone. The image on the screen was an elderly man with a white beard and jolly smile, who I didn't recognize, next to another person who was very familiar – Cherie! Support the show NEXT DAISY ♓ DROP • 3/15/26

    5 min

About

Welcome In! In this diary I will be recording my impressions of a new program called The Folium, which will "synthesize planetary biometry, creating an experience beyond artificial intelligence, and bring the benefits of the Earth's collective wisdom to everyone, everywhere, all the time." If that sounds wildly ambitious and kinda crazy, you're in the right place. Start on Page 1 and you'll ketchup 🍅 in no time.

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