In This Together - Same But Different

Bernadette Dancy and Liz Goodchild
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  • MENTAL HEALTH

Welcome to In This Together: Same But Different. Hosted by Liz Goodchild, Coach and Supervisor, and Bernadette Dancy, Stress Management Coach — two friends, two coaches, two humans — this podcast is about the weird, lovely, maddening reality of being alive. This is not a self-help podcast…even though, yes, we are coaches. We're not here to dish out any how-to guidance or advice, and there'll be absolutely no magic answers or "do this and your life will change" kind of stuff. Each episode is a real, human chat from two perspectives - so you can feel less alone, a little more understood, and maybe think, "Oh… me too." Come as you are. We're here to keep you company. Because we're In This Together: Same, But Different.

Episodes

  1. 5 DAYS AGO

    Episode 9: The Quiet Losses No One Talks About

    Episode 9: The Quiet Losses No One Talks About What if grief isn’t just about losing people… but losing versions of your life? In this episode, we’re exploring the quieter, less visible side of loss — the kind that doesn’t always have a clear name. From those unexpected moments that catch you off guard (like feeling sad after something lovely), to the lives we didn’t live, the choices we didn’t make, and the parts of ourselves we’ve outgrown —t his is a conversation about all the ways grief shows up beyond death. We talk about: The bittersweet feeling of seeing something you didn’t have“Sliding doors” moments and the paths not takenAmbiguous loss and unmet needsUnderstanding yourself differently later in lifeWhy even the right decisions can come with a sense of lossThe pressure of timelines and expectationsAnd why you can love your life… and still grieve another oneThis one is honest, reflective, and very “same but different.” Because sometimes the hardest losses to process… are the ones no one else can see. Episode shownotes: Brandi Carlile: The song, “The Mother”. “Welcome to the end of being alone inside your mind.”Alan Wolfelt: “All change is loss, and all loss must be mourned.”Counterfactual thinking: Imagining alternative versions of the past (“what if…” thinking)Prediction error (neuroscience): The brain updating its expectations when reality doesn’t match its internal model.Pauline Boss: Ambiguous loss (loss without clear closure or definitionCarl Jung” “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”Bernice Neugarten: Social clock (cultural expectations about life timelines and milestones)David Blanchflower: U-shaped happiness curve (wellbeing dips in midlife and rises later)The Bell Jar: Sylvia Plath” Fig tree metaphor (the lives we don’t choose).Nora Ephron: Reflections on ageing, regret, and self-perception, “I Feel Bad About My Neck”.Sehnsucht: A German term describing a deep, bittersweet longing for something intangible or unattainable.Liz Moreton: https://stress-ed.co.uk/mbsr/ Work with Liz Goodchild - www.lizgoodchild.co.uk Work with Bernie Dancy - www.bernadettedancy.co.uk

    1 hr

  2. 18 APR

    Episode 8: Friendships

    In this episode, we’re talking about friendship, and all the ways it can be both lovely and surprisingly complicated. Friendships are some of the most important relationships in our lives, but unlike romantic relationships, they rarely come with a script. There’s no clear beginning, no clear ending, and very little conversation about what happens when things shift, drift, deepen, or quietly fall apart. We explore what actually makes a friendship feel solid, how expectations shape our relationships, and why mismatched ideas about closeness, effort, honesty, and availability can create so much tension. We talk about the friendships that last, the ones that don’t, and the strange grey area between acquaintance, friend, close friend, and ride-or-die body-in-the-boot friend. Liz reflects on how moving countries changed some of her friendships in unexpected ways, why generosity and shared values matter so much to her now, and how she’s become less willing to ignore things that don’t feel right. Bernie talks about having lower expectations around the practical side of friendship, the importance of matched standards, and why different friends can play different roles in our lives. Together, we get into vulnerability, self-awareness, boundaries, drifting apart, ghosting, easy friendships, friendship admin, and the role of tech and voice notes in keeping connection alive when life is full and people live far away. This one is honest, warm, funny in places, and full of the kind of conversation people don’t often have directly, even with their closest mates. If friendship has ever felt comforting, confusing, painful, sustaining, or hard to define, this episode is for you. Stay in touch: Email: inthistogetherchat@gmail.com Instagram: @liz.good.child and @bernadettedancy_stresscoach Work with us: Liz’s 1:1 coaching is currently full, with new spaces opening in June 2026. You can find out more about her coaching approach here: https://www.lizgoodchild.co.uk Bernie has limited availability for stress assessments, and early bird registration is open for her next CPD cohort on stress and burnout: www.stress-ed.co.uk

    1hr 6min

  3. 4 APR

    Episode 7: Death, Dying & the Afterlife

    Episode 7, Season 2: Death, Dying & the Afterlife We’re back for season two, and in true In This Together: Same but Different style, we’re starting with a nice easy one: death, dying, and the afterlife. In this episode, we talk about something most of us spend our lives trying not to think about, even though it touches every single one of us. We explore what happens in our minds when we think about death, how our own experiences of grief have shaped us, and why talking about mortality can be both terrifying and strangely comforting. Liz shares her lifelong fascination with death, how losing her mum young shaped her worldview, and why seeing her nan after she died gave her a kind of closure she’d never had before. Bernie reflects on growing up Catholic in Ireland, how faith has shaped her relationship with death and the afterlife, and the deep comfort she’s found in feeling connected to those she’s lost. Together, we talk about grief, faith, existential psychology, children’s fear of death, spiritual experiences, and the ways mortality strips life back to what really matters. We also explore the tension between religion and belonging, especially when faith traditions haven’t always felt safe or welcoming, and how each of us has made our own meaning around what comes after this life. This episode is full of the kinds of conversations people often only have quietly, privately, or not at all. It’s tender, thoughtful, a bit dark, a bit funny, and deeply human. Content note: This episode includes discussion of death, dying, grief, trauma, funerals, dead bodies, sudden loss, and parental bereavement. Stay in touch: Email: inthistogetherchat@gmail.com Instagram: @liz.good.child and @bernadettedancy_stresscoach @in.this.together.pod Work with us: Liz’s 1:1 coaching is currently full, with new spaces opening in May 2026. You can find out more about her coaching approach here: https://www.lizgoodchild.co.uk Bernie has availability for stress and lifestyle coaching, and the early bird registration is open for her next CPD cohort on stress and burnout: www.stress-ed.co.uk References mentioned in this episode The Denial of Death — Ernest BeckerTerror Management Theory — Jeff Greenberg, Sheldon Solomon & Tom PyszczynskiBeing Mortal — Atul GawandeTuesdays with Morrie — Mitch AlbomPost-Traumatic Growth — Richard Tedeschi & Lawrence CalhounBronnie Ware — https://bronnieware.comIrvin Yalom — https://www.yalom.comDead Good Legacies — https://deadgoodlegacies.com

    1hr 5min

  4. 23 FEB

    Episode 6: Coaches are Human Too - Showing Up When Life's Messy

    It’s the final episode of Series 1 and we’re ending on something we both care about deeply: what it’s like to show up in your work as a coach/therapist when your own life isn’t exactly “together.” Because people love to assume that if you’re a coach, you must be calm and wise 24/7… and that stress, grief, anxiety, hormones, parenting chaos and real life admin somehow bounce off you. Spoiler: they don’t. In this episode, Liz and Bernie talk honestly about: What “showing up” actually means when you’re also in the thick of your own stuffWhy knowing the tools doesn’t mean you can always access them (especially when you’re tired or triggered)Imposter syndrome, self-criticism, and how repair gets quicker with practiceHow we work: relational / co-active coaching, guidance-based health coaching, and why the relationship mattersTransference & countertransference (and why coaches should know these terms)“Parallel process”: when your client is bringing the very thing you’re living through tooBoundaries and discernment: sharing from a scar, not an open woundDemystifying coaching vs therapy, scope of practice, supervision, and what ethical support can look like This isn’t an episode about being perfectly regulated or having the answers. It’s about being human, being ethical, and building support systems that help you do the work without pretending you’re unaffected by life. We’re also taking a short, intentional break after this episode, to practise what we preach, but we’ll be back for Series 2. Stay in touch Email: inthistogetherchat@gmail.com Instagram: @liz.good.child and @bernadettedancy_stresscoach Work with us Liz: 1:1 coaching/therapy (availability + info):https://www.lizgoodchild.co.uk/ Bernie: 1:1 stress & lifestyle coaching + CPD-accredited training:http://www.stress-ed.co.uk

    1hr 14min

  5. 9 FEB

    Episode 5: Exercise, Noise & Navigating the “Shoulds”

    After a few heavier episodes on burnout and breakdowns, we wanted to talk about something that can feel “lighter”… but is often just as loaded: exercise. In this conversation, Liz and Bernie talk honestly about our messy, complicated relationship with exercise:  not because movement is bad, but because the way it’s talked about has become noisy, pressurised, and disconnected from real life. We explore how exercise intersects with: perimenopause and hormonal shiftsburnout, stress, and limited capacitychanging bodies and shifting identitiesgrief, illness, parenting, and demanding lives We unpack what happens when: you try to do all the things and burn outyou stop completely because it feels like too muchmotivation gets confused with capacity“listening to your body” feels vague, frustrating, or impossible Bernie brings out her gentle inner nerd to explain stress, recovery, HRV, and tracking tech, including when data can be helpful, when it can become harmful, and why it should never be the boss. Liz reflects on what it’s like to renegotiate movement when your body, energy, and life no longer work the way they used to, and why learning what’s enough can be harder than pushing harder. This episode isn’t about finding the perfect way to exercise. It’s about context. Capacity. Trust. And building a relationship with movement that actually fits your body and your life, not someone else’s routine. Same pressure. Different needs. Different answers. Same but different. Stay in touch Email: inthistogetherchat@gmail.com Instagram: @liz.good.child and @bernadettedancy_stresscoach Work with us Liz: 1:1 coaching/therapy (check current availability via her website): https://www.lizgoodchild.co.uk/ Bernie: 1:1 stress and lifestyle coaching, CPD-accredited training courses http://www.stress-ed.co.uk

    54 min

  6. 25 JAN

    Episode 4: What Helped & Choosing Change

    Content note: This episode includes discussion of OCD, mental health crisis, and suicidal thoughts (non-graphic). Please listen in a way that feels safe and supportive for you. This episode is a follow-on from Episode 3 (Burnout & Breakdowns), because after sharing the hard parts, we wanted to talk about the what next: what actually helped us recover, and what we’ve seen help our clients over the last decade. We’re not offering a step-by-step guide or a shiny “bounce back” story. We’re talking about the real, often slow, messy process of coming back online — bird by bird — and the difference between change that happens after a crisis, and change you choose on an ordinary Wednesday when nothing is technically “wrong”… but something in you knows it isn’t working anymore. Liz shares how OCD played a central role in her breakdown and why having someone name what was happening became a turning point — not because labels fix everything, but because being believed can be the beginning of getting the right support. Bernie talks about the power (and pain) of being dismissed, why capacity matters more than motivation, and what it looked like to make both small lifestyle shifts and big life changes after burnout. In this episode, we talk about: why understanding what’s happening matters before tackling the “why”the difference between sharing from experience vs offloading in real timetherapy, support systems, and why reassurance doesn’t help OCD“life force,” self-determination, and the quiet insistence to keep goingwhy change is hard when your system is overloadedchange after crisis vs change by choicecapacity, compassion, and starting with the basics Stay in touch: Email: inthistogetherchat@gmail.com Instagram: @liz.good.child and @bernadettedancy_stresscoach Work with us Liz’s 1:1 coaching is currently full, with new spaces opening in February. You can find out more about her coaching approach here: https://www.lizgoodchild.co.uk Bernie has limited availability for stress assessments, and the early bird registration is open for her next CPD cohort on stress and burnout:www.stress-ed.co.uk

    48 min

  7. 12 JAN

    Episode 3: Burnout and Breakdowns

    Episode 3 Description for Podcast: Burnout and Breakdowns Trigger warning: Some episodes include honest conversations about suicide. Please listen in a way that feels safe and supportive for you. Burnout and breakdowns rarely come out of nowhere. They build slowly, often in plain sight, until something in us can’t keep going the way it used to. In this episode, Liz and Bernie talk about what burnout and breakdown actually felt like in their own lives: Bernie’s slow-burn burnout after having her second baby, and Liz’s breakdown years after her mum’s suicide, when her grief had nowhere to go. This isn’t a clinical or textbook conversation. It’s an honest, human one, about what happens when we keep “cracking on” for too long, and why these moments aren’t failures, but signals that we’re carrying too much and can no longer cope. In this episode, we talk about: How burnout can look “high functioning” from the outside.The slow build of chronic stress (and the moment it turns serious).Parenthood, sleep deprivation, and the invisible load.Repressed grief, trauma, and when the body finally says enough.The stigma difference between “burnout” and “breakdown”.Coping strategies (work, exercise, drinking, control) and why they make sense.Learning the early signs, and what recovery can look like over time.We also explore questions like: What if burnout and breakdown aren’t personal flaws, but protective responses?How do you ask for help when you don’t even know what you need?What would you want your younger self to know in the darkest bit? Support & resources If this episode brought things up for you, you’re not alone. And you’re not imagining it. If you recognised yourself (or someone you love) in the conversation, these resources may be helpful. Burnout, stress & mental health support (UK) Mind Practical information on burnout, anxiety, depression, and how to get support, including local services. https://www.mind.org.uk Mental Health Foundation Evidence-based articles on burnout, stress, sleep, and mental wellbeing. https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk OCD-specific support OCD UK UK-based charity offering trusted information, self-help resources, and peer support. https://www.ocduk.org OCD Action Helpline, advocacy, and practical support for people living with OCD. https://www.ocdaction.org.uk Crisis & immediate support If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsafe right now, please reach out for immediate support. Samaritans 24/7 emotional support, free and confidential. 116 123 | https://www.samaritans.org Shout Free, confidential text support if talking feels hard. Text SHOUT to 85258 | https://giveusashout.org Work, burnout & boundaries ACAS Guidance on work-related stress, sick leave, and employee rights. https://www.acas.org.uk

    1hr 12min

  8. 29/12/2025 ·  BONUS

    Episode 2: New Year, Goals, and the January Feelings

    January can be a strange one. In this episode, Liz and Bernie talk about the weird, wobbly in-between space between Christmas and New Year, and the pressure many of us feel to reset, refocus, and make big changes - even when we’re tired, grieving, or just not quite ready. This is an honest, reflective conversation about how January actually feels, rather than how it’s supposed to feel. In this episode, we talk about: The liminal space between Christmas and New YearWhy January can feel heavy, flat, or emotionally chargedGoals, resolutions, and why they work for some people and not for othersGrief, anniversaries, and how they show up at this time of yearValues, habits, and making change in small, realistic waysWhy January often feels more like a pause than a launch We also explore questions like: What if we didn’t rush to change ourselves in January?What do we actually need at this time of year?How do we make space for both reflection and intention? Things mentioned in this episode: Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg: https://tinyhabits.com/ The Body Keeps The Score: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18693771-the-body-keeps-the-score Stay in touch We’d love to hear how January feels for you. You can message us with your thoughts, experiences, or topics you’d love us to talk about in future episodes. Follow us on Instagram: @liz.good.child @bernadettedancy_stresscoach Email us both at Inthistogetherchat@gmail.com Work with us Liz’s 1:1 coaching is currently full, with her 2026 group coaching course starting soon. Bernie is accepting registrations for the next CPD cohort focused on stress and burnout. You can find all the information here: www.stress-ed.co.uk Credits Artwork by Sonja Maschkio Instagram:@smart_3779 Music: by Leva lemonmusicstudio@gmail.com

    46 min

  9. 12/12/2025

    Episode 1: Same But Different

    In this first episode of 'In This Together, Same But Different,' we explore the essence of our new podcast by giving you a taste of what's to come - authentic conversations about the challenges of being human. You know, the type challenges we all have (after all, we’re all in this together), but we often cope with them differently (cos even though we’re the same, we're also different). We hope this episode emphasise the importance of connection, understanding, as we all navigate life's ups and downs TOGETHER, while also highlighting we all have unique perspectives within our shared experiences. Connect with us... Liz Goodchild www.lizgoodchild.co.uk @liz.good.child email: hello@lizgoodchild.co.uk Bernadette Dancy Instagram: @bernadettedancy_stresscoach www.bernadettedancy.co.uk www.stress-ed.co.uk email: bernadette@stress-ed.co.uk Got a question? OR Want to suggest a topic for an episode? Get in touch via our socials or send us and email. We'd love to hear from you. After all, we're In this Together! ____________________________________________________ Credits Editing by Steve’s Woodward: https://podcastingeditor.com/ @thepodcastingeditor Artwork by Sonja Maschkio Instagram:@smart_3779 Music: by Leva lemonmusicstudio@gmail.com

    46 min

  10. SEASON 1, EPISODE 1 TRAILER

    In This Together - The Trailer

    Welcome to In This Together: Same but Different. Hosted by Liz Goodchild, Life Coach, and Bernadette Dancy, Stress Management Coach - two friends, two coaches, two humans - this podcast is about the weird, lovely, maddening reality of being alive. This is not a self-help podcast…even though, yes, we are coaches. We're not here to dish out any how-to guidance or advice, and there'll be absolutely no magic answers or "do this and your life will change" kind of stuff. Each episode is a real, human chat from two perspectives - so you can feel less alone, a little more understood, and maybe think, "Oh… me too." Come as you are. We're here to keep you company. Because we're In This Together: Same, But Different. Get in touch We'd love to hear from you. Send us your questions, spirals, thoughts, or topics you wish people talked about more openly. Instagram: @liz.good.child @bernadettedancy_stresscoach Websites: Liz: www.lizgoodchild.co.uk Bernie: www.bernadettedancy.co.uk _________________________________ Credits Editing by Steve’s Woodward: https://podcastingeditor.com/ @thepodcastingeditor Artwork by Sonja Maschkio Instagram:@smart_3779 Music: by Leva lemonmusicstudio@gmail.com

    1 min

Trailer

About

Welcome to In This Together: Same But Different. Hosted by Liz Goodchild, Coach and Supervisor, and Bernadette Dancy, Stress Management Coach — two friends, two coaches, two humans — this podcast is about the weird, lovely, maddening reality of being alive. This is not a self-help podcast…even though, yes, we are coaches. We're not here to dish out any how-to guidance or advice, and there'll be absolutely no magic answers or "do this and your life will change" kind of stuff. Each episode is a real, human chat from two perspectives - so you can feel less alone, a little more understood, and maybe think, "Oh… me too." Come as you are. We're here to keep you company. Because we're In This Together: Same, But Different.

Information

  • Creator
    Bernadette Dancy and Liz Goodchild
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    10
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Bernadette Dancy and Liz Goodchild
  • Show Website
    In This Together - Same But Different

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