All Breda O'Toole ever wanted was someone to talk to. Instead, she was given Valium, 29 electric shock treatments and 23 years of psychiatric care. Brian sits down with Breda O'Toole, author of Unseen: A Memoir of Trauma, Ireland's Psychiatric System and a Lifetime Spent Healing, for an honest conversation about childhood trauma, loneliness, misdiagnosis and the long road back to herself. Breda grew up the eldest of seven, in a home shaped by her father's unprocessed war trauma and alcoholism, where children were to be seen and not heard. At 15 she entered a convent where silence was the rule. When she finally asked for help in her twenties, nobody asked what had happened to her. She was prescribed Valium, which led to a ten year addiction, and was later strapped into a straitjacket for 11 days. It was there, in the middle of it all, that she discovered a part of herself that could never be destroyed. Brian and Breda explore how loneliness can be the deepest wound of all, why safety matters so much for healing, and what happened when a single phone call told her to take back control of her life. She shares how she weaned herself off every medication and stayed medication free for 30 years, how writing her book brought up decades of suppressed anger, and how she is now facing multiple myeloma with faith, acceptance and a resilience she first built as a child. There are moments of real tenderness here too: a nurse who visited every day at 4pm, a father who carried her out of a hospital ward, and a reunion with two college friends 55 years later. This is a conversation about being seen, about the strength that lives inside all of us, and about Breda's simple message: be kind, be kind, be kind. Season 3 of Change Is Possible is proudly supported by Turas Nua, helping people build skills and take the next steps towards employment, because with the right support, change really is possible. Learn more at Turas Nua Connect with Brian ⬛ Get FREE access to Brian’s online courses ⬛ Buy Brian’s memoir, Bonus Time ⬛ Follow Brian on Instagram ⬛ Follow Brian on LinkedIn Chapters: 0:00 Why Breda called her memoir Unseen 5:36 Growing up seen and not heard 11:51 From a frightening home to a silent convent 18:15 Asking for someone to talk to and being given Valium 22:25 The long road through Valium withdrawal 28:00 Finding the part of her that could never be destroyed 34:11 The day a room of doctors finally listened 40:02 Misdiagnosis and the call to take back control 47:11 Thirty years free of medication, then a new diagnosis 52:07 How suffering led her to her real self and to faith 61:18 Learning she is not alone 68:24 Why kindness matters more than we knowSpotify themes: Trauma and healing, mental health, addiction recovery, resilience, loneliness, faith and spirituality, Irish memoir, being seen and heard, unsee
