Authentically ADHD with Carmen

Where the chaos of ADHD meets self-acceptance, growth, and a whole lot of authenticity
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Hi! I'm Carmen, a late-diagnosed ADHDer, ADHD life coach, and early childhood special education teacher who wants to spread awareness, relate to other ADHDers, and have fun while talking and learning about the difficulties, awesomeness, and new research behind the neurodiverse ADHD brain. ARE YOU READY?? Let's get started! carmenauthenticallyadhd.substack.com

  1. 3 days ago

    Still Exhausted After Rest?

    In this episode of Authentically ADHD, Carmen breaks down why AuDHD recovery is so much deeper than simply lying down, sleeping, or taking a “lazy day.” For autistic ADHD brains, exhaustion is often not just physical — it can be sensory, cognitive, emotional, social, demand-based, transition-based, or masking-related. Still Exhausted After Rest: Why AuDHD Recovery Is Not Just Lying Down explores the frustrating experience of resting all weekend and still feeling like your brain is wet cement and your nervous system is running on 3%. Carmen explains how burnout, sensory overload, executive dysfunction, transitions, masking, guilt, and chronic stress can keep the body stuck in survival mode even when we look like we’re “doing nothing.” With research-informed insight, dark humor, and lived experience, this episode helps listeners name what kind of tired they actually are and choose recovery that matches the real load they’re carrying. Carmen offers practical tools like identifying your exhaustion type, creating a decompression bridge, building a recovery menu, reducing sensory input, lowering demands, and using scripts for boundaries, cancellations, guilt, and overstimulation. This episode is a compassionate reminder that AuDHD recovery is not laziness, weakness, or drama. It is an access need. You are not failing to recharge — you may simply need safer conditions, fewer demands, less input, and more honest support. Because collapse is not the same thing as rest. And lying down while your nervous system is still sprinting through a haunted corn maze? That’s not recovery, babe. That’s burnout in pajamas. Thank you for tuning in! Thanks for reading! This post is public so feel free to share it. This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit carmenauthenticallyadhd.substack.com/subscribe

    23 min

  2. 2 Jul

    Live Recording Replay - AuDHD with Carmen

    Thank you to everyone who tuned into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app. Tom Owens I did answer the question you left on my post! In this episode of Authentically ADHD, Carmen turns a Substack Live AuDHD Ask Me Anything into a clear, compassionate, and deeply relatable conversation about what it actually means to be both autistic and ADHD. This episode breaks down the biggest questions people have about AuDHD, including how autism and ADHD can coexist, why the traits can feel so contradictory, why routines help but also feel impossible, and how executive dysfunction, sensory overload, masking, burnout, emotional intensity, transitions, and social exhaustion show up in real life. Carmen explains AuDHD in a way that is research-informed but actually human — because nobody needs another cold clinical checklist when they are trying to understand why their brain wants structure, novelty, silence, stimulation, connection, and isolation all in the same afternoon. Whether you are newly diagnosed, self-identifying, late-realizing, supporting someone you love, or just trying to understand why “simple tasks” are not simple for neurodivergent brains, this episode offers validation, language, and practical insight. It is part education, part nervous system hug, and part “oh my god, I thought this was just me.” You are not broken. You are not lazy. You are not too sensitive. Your brain has layers — and bestie, we are finally naming them. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit carmenauthenticallyadhd.substack.com/subscribe

    31 min

  3. 2 Jul

    Dear AuDHDer, Your Nervous System Is Not a Group Project

    In this episode of Authentically ADHD, Carmen gets into the nervous-system chaos of being AuDHD around unpredictable people, last-minute plan changes, emotional demands, masking, and the soul-deep exhaustion that comes from confusing love with constant availability. “Dear AuDHDer, Your Nervous System Is Not a Group Project” breaks down why boundaries are not selfish, cold, dramatic, or rude — they are regulation. For AuDHD brains, unpredictability is not just inconvenient; it can overload executive function, sensory processing, emotional regulation, and the already-tired little gremlin in charge of transitions. This episode explores why plan changes can feel so destabilizing, why emotional availability is still labor, how masking makes boundaries harder, and why some people mistake your kindness for unlimited access to your time, energy, and peace. Spoiler alert: absolutely not, bestie. Carmen also shares practical, simple boundary scripts and strategies for handling unpredictable people, including how to pause before saying yes, ask for clear plans, protect your recovery time, create reply delays, and deal with guilt when you stop over-functioning for everyone else’s comfort. Because being loving does not mean being endlessly available. Being kind does not mean becoming someone else’s coping skill.And your nervous system? Not. A. Group. Project. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit carmenauthenticallyadhd.substack.com/subscribe

    29 min

  4. 28 Jun

    Your AuDHD Brain Does Not Need More Discipline. It Needs Better Ramps

    Your AuDHD brain does not need more discipline. It needs better ramps. In this episode of Authentically ADHD, we’re breaking down why willpower is the crusty old motivational poster of nervous system support — and why accommodations, scaffolding, visual supports, sensory tools, body doubling, timers, scripts, and low-capacity plans are not cheating. They’re access. For AuDHD adults, tasks are not just “easy” or “hard.” They come with invisible barriers: executive dysfunction, sensory overload, demand pressure, shame, working memory load, transition difficulty, time blindness, and emotional threat. So when your brain freezes, avoids, spirals, or shuts down, the answer is not always “try harder.” Sometimes the answer is: build a better way in. We’ll talk about the neuroscience behind why task initiation, planning, transitions, and follow-through can feel so physically impossible for AuDHD brains — and why support systems work better when they reduce friction instead of demanding perfection. This episode is a love letter to every late-diagnosed neurodivergent adult who has spent years thinking they were lazy, inconsistent, dramatic, or broken. You were never broken because stairs were hard. You deserved a ramp. We’ll end with five practical tips for building your own AuDHD ramps, including how to identify access barriers, externalize memory, create low-capacity versions of tasks, pair demands with regulation, and review your supports without shame. Because support is not failure. It’s architecture. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit carmenauthenticallyadhd.substack.com/subscribe

    25 min
  5. Medicated, Misdiagnosed, and Mildly Electrified

    20 Jun

    Medicated, Misdiagnosed, and Mildly Electrified

    Medication is not a morality test. It is a tool — and for AuDHD brains, that tool needs nuance. In this episode, we’re unpacking stimulants, non-stimulants, off-label meds, comorbid medication combos, misdiagnosis, and why treating anxiety or depression without recognizing ADHD/autism can leave people stuck in the same nervous system fire drill. Disclaimer: Educational only. Not medical advice. Talk to your prescriber before changing anything. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit carmenauthenticallyadhd.substack.com/subscribe

    27 min
  6. The “Right Way” Curse: Why AuDHD Perfectionism Is Actually a Nervous System Safety Plan

    14 Jun

    The “Right Way” Curse: Why AuDHD Perfectionism Is Actually a Nervous System Safety Plan

    In this episode of Authentically ADHD, we unpack the “right way” curse: that very AuDHD experience of needing the perfect plan, perfect instructions, perfect timing, perfect method, and maybe a tiny sacrifice to the executive function gods before starting literally anything. This episode reframes perfectionism as more than just being “too hard on yourself.” For many AuDHD brains, perfectionism is a nervous system safety plan. It can come from years of being corrected, misunderstood, rushed, judged, or made to feel like your natural way of existing was wrong. So the brain starts chasing certainty, structure, scripts, and rules before it feels safe enough to move. We talk about how this can show up as over-researching, task paralysis, all-or-nothing thinking, needing exact instructions, rereading messages 47 times, avoiding things you deeply care about, and turning every small decision into a full-blown courtroom drama. Inside the episode, Carmen breaks down the neuroscience in simple language: how autistic brains often crave predictability, how ADHD can make starting and sequencing harder, and why uncertainty can feel like a threat instead of a minor inconvenience. Then we move into practical recovery strategies like naming the real fear, choosing the next safe step, creating messy first drafts, defining “done,” practicing tiny imperfection, and using systems as supports instead of shame scorecards. This episode is for anyone who has ever felt frozen because they didn’t know the “right” way to begin. You are not lazy, dramatic, or broken. Your brain is trying to protect you. But protection can become a cage — and healing means learning that safe enough is still safe. Perfectionism wants you polished. Healing wants you in progress. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit carmenauthenticallyadhd.substack.com/subscribe

    25 min
  7. Live with carmen_authenticallyadhd

    29 May

    Live with carmen_authenticallyadhd

    Thank you to everyone who tuned into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app, to be scheduled soon! Drop questions/Topics in the comments! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit carmenauthenticallyadhd.substack.com/subscribe

    1hr 6min

  8. 27 May

    Self-Trust After ADHD: Why You Don’t Believe Yourself Anymore

    In this episode of Authentically ADHD, Carmen explores why so many late-diagnosed ADHD, autistic, and AuDHD adults struggle to trust themselves. This isn’t about being indecisive, dramatic, or “bad at life.” It’s about years of being misunderstood, corrected, dismissed, and trained to doubt your own nervous system. Carmen breaks down how self-trust is built through validation — and how many neurodivergent people received the opposite. From inconsistent ADHD performance and executive dysfunction to masking, rejection sensitivity, internalized shame, and late-diagnosis grief, this episode unpacks why so many adults end up outsourcing their reality to everyone else. With neuroscience, research, dark humor, and deeply compassionate truth-telling, Carmen explains how diagnosis can become both a relief and an emotional reckoning. It can help reframe the past, but it does not instantly erase years of self-doubt. The episode ends with five practical strategies for rebuilding self-trust: creating a self-trust evidence log, shifting from permission-seeking to truth-seeking, making smaller promises to yourself, replacing shame as your project manager, and building a safe mirror system. The message is clear: you are not unreliable — you are recovering from years of being misinterpreted. Tiny plank by tiny plank, self-trust can be rebuilt. Thank you for tuning in! Free Guide Download: This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit carmenauthenticallyadhd.substack.com/subscribe

    41 min
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About

Hi! I'm Carmen, a late-diagnosed ADHDer, ADHD life coach, and early childhood special education teacher who wants to spread awareness, relate to other ADHDers, and have fun while talking and learning about the difficulties, awesomeness, and new research behind the neurodiverse ADHD brain. ARE YOU READY?? Let's get started! carmenauthenticallyadhd.substack.com

Information

  • Creator
    Where the chaos of ADHD meets self-acceptance, growth, and a whole lot of authenticity
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    247
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Carmen Irace
  • Show Website
    Authentically ADHD with Carmen

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