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14 במאי

When It's Not Your Fault: Blame, Backlash, and Setting Limits

When a high conflict person says it's all your fault, most reasonable people do something predictable — they start wondering what they did wrong. That instinct toward self-reflection is healthy in most relationships. With high conflict people, it becomes a trap. Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, unpack why high conflict personalities blame with an intensity that triggers your brain's threat-detection system — and why that intensity is precisely what makes you absorb guilt that isn't yours. They cover how to reality-test yourself when the blame lands hard, what to expect when you finally set a limit, and how to sit with the backlash without retreating into self-doubt. It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM. Full Show Notes & Resources Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | Website Watch this episode on YouTube Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:43) - It’s NOT Your Fault (02:22) - Why Do HCPs Blame? (07:00) - Absorbing Guilt (13:31) - Example (17:36) - Setting Limits and Potential Backlash (19:28) - Why HCPs Escalate (24:20) - Grow Used to Uncomfortable Feelings (26:29) - Knowing When It’s Not Safe (28:28) - Key Takeaways (29:27) - Wrap Up

14 במאי

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‏31 דק׳
11.05.2023

Learning to Love Your ADHD Story with James Ochoa

Our friend James Ochoa is back! This week we're talking about the lessons you can learn from inflection points in your ADHD journey. What did you learn? What did you gain? What can come from it? We start with an event. Take some time in a grounded space, and think of an event from your past that we either positive or problematic in relation to your experience with ADHD. For Pete, it was an experience early in his freelance career, something that still causes physical discomfort twenty years later. Next, ask yourself these life-transformation questions: What did I learn from the event?What strengths did you gain from going through this experience?What hope came out of this experience?What wisdom was gathered in going through this?What new knowledge do you now have?James suggests using this exercise as a resource journal of life experiences and memories, a place to catalog the positive experiences and process the challenges over time. This week, James leads Pete through the exercise and conjures up all that old discomfort and quite a few laughs, all to rewire old experiences for the better. Learn more about James, his work, and his ADHD Town Halls on his website right here! (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:00) - Support the Show: Become a Patron! (02:34) - Organizing Challenge Time! (04:42) - Welcome Back James Ochoa! (05:32) - Seven Years of Focus Forward (07:36) - The Power of Your ADHD Story (12:48) - Where the River Meets the Sea (21:00) - Setting up the Exercise (44:44) - The ADHD Bookclub with special guest James Ochoa! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

11.05.2023

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‏51 דק׳
21 באפר׳

A Moment of Strategic Hibernation with Chris Marquis

Many companies today are choosing silence over visibility when it comes to their social and environmental commitments. What might appear as retreat or inconsistency is, in fact, something more deliberate. Christopher Marquis describes this phenomenon as “strategic hibernation,” or a calculated pause in external communication driven by political tension, stakeholder scrutiny, and shifting expectations. Rather than abandoning purpose, companies are pulling back publicly while continuing the work internally, protecting their capabilities, talent, and long-term investments. But this creates a critical tension: how to navigate risk without eroding trust or losing momentum on the very issues that define a company’s impact and identity. We invited Christopher Marquis, Author and Sinyi Professor of Chinese Management at the University of Cambridge, to unpack this moment and what it means for purpose-driven leaders. Christopher explores why strategic hibernation is not the same as “green hushing,” and outlines how organizations can remain disciplined in communications while actively maintaining their core assets and preparing for when conditions shift. He shares insights on how companies can continue investing in sustainability and social impact behind the scenes, why internal alignment and values-based leadership matter more than ever, and how leaders can thoughtfully assess political risk without compromising their long-term mission. Listen for insights on: Maintaining employee trust during uncertaintyProtecting culture as a strategic assetWhen to re-engage publicly on issuesGlobal perspectives on corporate silenceResources + Links: Christopher Marquis’ LinkedInHarvard Business Review: Is This a Moment for Strategic Hibernation?Christopher Marquis’ Website (00:00) - Welcome to Purpose 360 (00:13) - Meet Chris Marquis (01:59) - Chris’ Background (02:52) - Why This Work (04:46) - Strategic Hibernation (09:14) - Three Ways (11:43) - Regional Differences? (13:23) - Advice to CEOs and Boards (14:44) - Internal Comms (16:53) - AI’s Role (18:36) - Being Socially Responsible (19:40) - Speed Round (21:05) - Last Word (21:53) - Wrap Up

21 באפר׳

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‏23 דק׳
31.07.2025

Narcissistic Co-Parents, Borderline Spouses, and Intimidating Behaviors • REBROADCAST

REBROADCAST In this valuable encore episode, Bill and Megan tackle three critical listener questions that remain deeply relevant. They begin by addressing a parent's concern about protecting their toddler during a high-conflict custody case involving someone displaying narcissistic traits, offering practical strategies for both the legal process and emotional support. The conversation then shifts to handling intimidating behavior and urgent decision-making scenarios, particularly when dealing with someone who attempts to force their approach. Finally, they explore the complex dynamics of living with someone who has BPD traits, discussing both the potential psychological impact and the importance of finding appropriate therapeutic support for recovery. Additional Resources Expert Publications The Borderline Personality Disorder Wellness Planner for FamiliesSplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with BPD/NPDHigh-Conflict Co-Parenting Survival GuideThe Healthy Parent's ABC's by Benjamin D. Garber, PhDProfessional Development New Ways for Families Online Class and CoachingHigh Conflict Separation & Divorce Basics Audio SeriesConnect With Us Visit High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.com Submit questions for Bill and MeganBrowse our complete collection of books and resources in our online storeFind these show notes and all past episode notes on our websiteImportant Notice Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:20) - Listener Questions (01:57) - Handling a Toddler with a Narcissistic Parent (07:58) - Managing Intimidating Behavior (13:30) - Is There Ever a Time to Explain the Truth? (16:20) - Can You Develop BPD Traits From Another? (23:55) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: More Listener Questions!

31.07.2025

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‏25 דק׳
22.05.2025

Recognizing High Conflict Patterns: The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life (Part 1) • REBROADCAST

While we’re on our hiatus, we’re playing some of our popular episodes again from our ‘5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life’ series. Enjoy! REBROADCAST Introducing the 5 Types of High Conflict Personalities: Who Can Ruin Your Life? (Part 1) In this thought-provoking first episode of a new series on It's All Your Fault, Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, embark on an exploration of the five types of high conflict personalities who can wreak havoc in your life. Drawing from Bill's book "5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life," they provide a broad overview of these challenging personalities, setting the stage for a deeper dive into each type in upcoming episodes. Understanding High Conflict PersonalitiesBill and Megan illuminate the perplexing nature of high conflict personalities, emphasizing that these individuals often lack self-awareness and may not even realize the impact of their behavior on others. They stress the importance of recognizing patterns of behavior rather than focusing on isolated incidents, as high conflict personalities tend to exhibit consistent patterns of blame-shifting, all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, and extreme behaviors. Navigating Relationships with High Conflict IndividualsThroughout the episode, Bill and Megan offer practical strategies for navigating relationships with high conflict personalities. They caution against common pitfalls, such as attempting to provide insight into the person's behavior or engaging in emotional arguments. Instead, they recommend focusing on the present, offering choices, and using the CARS method (Connect, Analyze, Respond, Set Limits) to de-escalate conflicts and maintain healthy boundaries. Questions we answer in this episode: Who are the five types of high conflict personalities that can ruin your life?What are the defining characteristics of a high conflict personality?How can I recognize patterns of high conflict behavior?What are the common mistakes to avoid when dealing with high conflict individuals?What can I expect from the upcoming episodes in this series?Key Takeaways: The five types of high conflict personalities can have a profound negative impact on your life if left unchecked.High conflict personalities often lack self-awareness and may not realize the impact of their behavior on others.Recognizing patterns of behavior is crucial when dealing with high conflict individuals.Avoid trying to provide insight, engaging in emotional arguments, focusing on the past, or labeling the person.Stay tuned for upcoming episodes that will explore each of the five types in greater depth, providing targeted strategies for managing these specific personalities.Whether you're dealing with a high conflict partner, family member, coworker, or friend, this episode sets the foundation for understanding and managing these challenging relationships. By introducing the five types of high conflict personalities and providing a broad overview of strategies for dealing with them, Bill and Megan offer listeners a roadmap for the upcoming series, which promises to deliver invaluable insights and tools for navigating life's most difficult interpersonal dynamics. Links & Other Notes BOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeARTICLESWho Are High-Conflict People?The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeFive Types of High-Conflict Personalities And their targets of blame—and sometimes violence.Anybody You Know? Predictable Characteristics of High Conflict PeopleCOURSESCourses for professional trainingCourses for individualsConflict Influencer Class (live virtual)OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:35) - 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life (01:14) - Creating Awareness (05:54) - Starting to See It Differently (12:09) - Key Characteristics (20:33) - Options (21:38) - Four Forget-About-Its (25:01) - Four Things to Do (28:01) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Narcissistic High Conflict People

22.05.2025

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‏30 דק׳
06.11.2025

Choosing Safe Partners: Understanding Red Flags in Dating with Dr. David Wexler

Identifying Red Flags: Making Safer Relationship Choices Dr. David Wexler joins Bill Eddy to discuss his new book "Choose Him Wisely: How to Identify a Safe Partner," co-authored with Dr. Donald Meichenbaum. Drawing from over 40 years of clinical experience working with relationship dynamics and domestic violence, Dr. Wexler shares crucial insights about recognizing concerning patterns early in relationships. Understanding Warning SignsThe conversation explores three key categories of warning signs: observed behaviors, historical factors, and gut feelings. Dr. Wexler explains how early relationship behaviors like "love bombing," expressions of contempt, and patterns of entitlement can indicate potential future challenges. The discussion examines why psychological abuse often creates deeper lasting impacts than physical abuse through its systematic erosion of self-esteem and autonomy. Questions Answered in This Episode What are the top three warning signs of potentially abusive relationships?How can someone distinguish between healthy attention and concerning obsession?Why do people sometimes ignore clear warning signs?What role does family history play in relationship patterns?When is couples therapy helpful or potentially harmful?Key Takeaways Early relationship intensity ("love bombing") warrants careful evaluationExpressions of contempt and entitlement serve as significant red flagsPersonal boundaries and gut feelings provide valid assessment criteriaUnderstanding attachment patterns helps explain relationship choicesSelf-blame often prevents recognition of concerning behaviorsThis episode provides valuable tools for anyone navigating dating and relationships, offering practical guidance for evaluating potential partners while maintaining healthy boundaries. The discussion emphasizes empowerment through awareness rather than victim-blaming, acknowledging that while warning signs exist, many relationships can provide safe, healthy connections. Additional Resources Dr. Wexler Book: Choose Him WiselyRelationship Training InstituteOnline Course for Family Law: Conversations About Domestic Violence in Family Law with 16 Experts Law PrfProfessional Development Invite us to speak at your organizationNew Ways Training (work, mediation, divorce)Conflict Influencer Class (for personal life)Connect With Us Visit High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.comSubmit questions for Bill and MeganBrowse our complete collection of books and resources in our online store—available in print and e-book formatsFind these show notes and all past episode notes on our websiteWatch this episode on YouTube! Important Notice Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:42) - Dr. David Wexler (02:41) - David’s Book Choose Him Wisely (03:42) - David’s Background (09:23) - Warning Signs (14:25) - Obstructions (23:18) - Psychological vs. Physical Abuse (26:53) - From Victim to Abuser (30:33) - Where Is the Line? (35:09) - Gut Feeling Test (38:07) - Counseling and Couples Counseling (43:34) - Wrap Up

06.11.2025

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‏46 דק׳
05.06.2025

Histrionics Unveiled: The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life (Part 6) • REBROADCAST

While we’re on our hiatus, we’re playing some of our popular episodes again from our ‘5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life’ series. Enjoy! REBROADCAST The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life Series: Histrionic High Conflict Personalities In this installment of "The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life" series, Megan and Bill explore the world of histrionic high conflict personalities. They discuss the key characteristics of histrionics, including exaggerated emotions, a constant need for attention, and a tendency to misjudge relationships. Surprisingly, despite cultural stereotypes, research shows histrionic personality disorder is equally common in men and women. Bill and Megan also delve into how social media and influencer culture can feed histrionic tendencies, while emphasizing that having some traits doesn't necessarily indicate a disorder. Questions we answer in this episode: What defines a histrionic personality?Is histrionic personality disorder more common in men or women?How can you deal with exhausting histrionic behavior?Key Takeaways: Histrionic personalities are characterized by drama and a need for attention.Histrionic personality disorder involves a pattern of blaming others.Setting clear boundaries is crucial when dealing with histrionic behavior.Whether you have a histrionic person in your life or want to learn more about high conflict personalities, this episode offers valuable insights and practical strategies for navigating these challenging dynamics. Links & Other Notes BOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeIt's All Your Fault!ARTICLESDealing with Drama: Histrionic High Conflict PeopleLiving with High-Conflict People Series: Do’s and Don’ts for living with a Histrionic High-Conflict PersonOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:38) - 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Histrionic (01:30) - What Is Histrionic? (08:33) - Misjudgment of Relationships (11:14) - Drawing Others In (13:16) - In Daily Life (15:34) - Frequency (18:10) - Men and Women (22:27) - Ancient Histrionic Personalities and Influencers (26:52) - Skills to Relieve Exhaustion (29:02) - Negative Advocates (30:17) - Lying and Exaggeration (31:32) - Paul McCartney (34:13) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Paranoid Personalities

05.06.2025

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‏35 דק׳
09.05.2017

Creating the Intentional Campus Climate with CSU's Katy Rees and Jennifer Williams

One of the realities of complex human organizations is that culture is emergent, that we put teams and departments and structures in place and then we hope. Whatever sort of campus culture that comes out of that cocktail is what we’re stuck with. Our guests today are here to demonstrate that culture can be crafted, developed, and encouraged when approached with intention. Jennifer Williams serves as director of campus climate, and Katy Rees as associate VP for finance and administrative services at Cal State University San Marcos. Thanks to the deep support of their president, the two have spearheaded an initiative to build a healthy culture and along the way uncovered some fascinating lessons around the role of strategy, demographics, and what it takes to truly engage around core service delivery. Links & Notes CSU San Marcos Campus Connect CSU San Marcos FAS Division Quality Improvement (QI) "Intentionally Designing a Winning Culture" (PDF)

09.05.2017

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‏21 דק׳
28.09.2014

The Administrative and Academic Review at Loyola Maryland Part 1 — CFO Randy Gentzler

This week on Navigating Change we begin a three-part series to share the administrative and academic review from the inside out. Our first guest is Vice President of Finance of Loyola University Maryland Randy Gentzler, and it was under his guidance that the project ensured its focus not only on ideas for change consistent with mission but also ones that would have a positive financial impact. As the chief business officer, Randy describes the project from its inception to deal with the short-term operating budget as well as defining a new model of financial success. Randy and Howard share their experience working as true partners in this project and offer key learnings for getting the most out of this unique relationship.

28.09.2014

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‏18 דק׳
30.09.2024

Death Blossoms in Bloom: The Last Starfighter with Andy Nelson

This week on Make Me a Nerd, Mandy sits down with podcast producer and "slutty nerd" Andy Nelson. Together, they blast off for a journey back to 1984 to revisit the cult classic film, "The Last Starfighter." This sci-fi adventure, often hailed as the best of the "Star Wars ripoffs," tells the story of Alex Rogan, a trailer park teen who achieves the highest score on an arcade game, only to discover it's a recruitment tool for an intergalactic war.Andy shares his nostalgic love for the film, praising its surprisingly grounded characters and relatable themes of ambition and escapism. Mandy, new to the world of "Starfighter," compares its vibe to a mashup of "WarGames" and "Footloose," highlighting the film's unique blend of futuristic action and small-town charm.Sure, it's a film with some quirky humor, from Robert Preston's charismatic performance as the alien recruiter Centauri to the grumpy, snake-faced alien. But it's also a film with some surprisingly sophisticated special effects. That's right, note the use of repurposed "Blade Runner" props and groundbreaking CGI that captivated audiences at the time.This is a film with enduring appeal and has a prized place in the pantheon of 80s sci-fi films. So embrace your inner nerd and relive the magic of this classic film, and make sure Andy knows his nerd promiscuity is welcome here! --- Learn more about supporting this podcast by becoming a member. It's just $5/month or $55/year. Visit our website to learn more.

30.09.2024

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‏51 דק׳

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