The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

Sara Bybee Fisk
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  • Alternative Health
  • Updated weekly

Welcome to the Ex Good Girl Podcast! I’m Sara Bybee Fisk, the Stop People Pleasing Coach. If you feel exhausted from constant people pleasing and perfectionism, and you are ready to stop but you don’t know how, this podcast is for YOU! I will help you learn to stop making other people comfortable at your own expense. I can show you a roadmap you can use to train yourself to stop abandoning your own desires and let go of the fear of what others will think. If you are ready to stop pretending everything is fine, get out of the cycle of doubt, guilt, and resentment AND step into a life of power and freedom, I can help!

  1. 3 days ago

    Episode 168 - What is Your Silence Teaching Your Relationships?

    We often think of relationships as something we have: a marriage, a friendship, a relationship with our parents. But relationships are more like living things—they have their own patterns and ecosystems that two nervous systems create together over time. Every conversation shapes them, and every silence does too. In this episode, we're exploring what your silence is teaching your relationships and how speaking more honestly can build the intimacy and connection so many of us want, instead of isolating us from the people we care about. Here’s what I cover: How psychologist Carol Gilligan found that many girls grow up believing they have to choose between having a voice and preserving relationshipsWhy staying quiet was a brilliant survival strategy in childhood but can keep us from building intimacy as adultsHow your silence quietly teaches people what does and does not belong in your relationshipsPractical examples of how speaking up can strengthen relationships instead of damaging themQuestions to help you notice what your relationships have learned from your silence and begin changing the pattern Reserve your seat for my next workshop: sarafisk.coach/sayitwithclarity Find Sara here: sarafisk.coach pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations instagram.com/sarafiskcoach facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

    17 min

  2. 24 Jun

    Episode 167 - The Skill That Improves Every Difficult Conversation

    Most hard conversations don't start with an invitation. They start with something that sounds more like a verdict: You never listen to me. You don't respect my time. You don't care about my feelings. By the time we say those things, we've already decided what happened, what it means, and who's responsible. But those assumptions rarely resolve conflict. In this episode, I walk you through a shift that can completely change the quality of difficult conversations: moving from certainty to curiosity. When you learn to ask questions rather than make statements, you create more opportunities for connection. Here's what I cover: Why certainty feels so convincing and the psychological biases that make us believe our interpretation is the truthHow to make observations without turning them into stories about someone else's intentionsA three-step formula for approaching difficult conversations without certainty: observation, impact, and curiosityWhy curiosity can be hard to access when your nervous system is activated and certainty feels saferPractical questions you can use to create more understanding and meaningful resolution in your relationships Reserve your seat for my next workshop: sarafisk.coach/sayitwithclarity Find Sara here: sarafisk.coach pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations instagram.com/sarafiskcoach facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

    26 min

  3. 10 Jun

    Episode 166 - There is No Time Limit to Talk About It

    How often do you finally realize what you want to say hours, days, months, or even years after a misunderstanding or disagreement? Some people need time to process, but it's easy to think you've missed your chance once the moment has passed. Learning how to have hard conversations has changed my life more than almost anything else, and I've noticed a rule many of us follow without ever questioning it: after enough time passes, you're no longer allowed to bring something up. In this episode, I'm unpacking where that rule came from, who it benefits, and the rule I've replaced it with so more women can stop carrying unresolved hurt alone and start saying what they need to say. Here's what I cover: How so many of the rules we live by were just made up and never questionedWhat I call a “crockpot brain” and why some people need more time to respondTwo questions to help you decide if something still needs to be addressedThe steps to starting a hard conversation, no matter how much time has passedA conversation that allowed me to resolve my hurt after carrying it for four years Join me LIVE for a free workshop on June 11 at 9am PT or June 24th at 1pm PT. Register for Speak Up here: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: sarafisk.coach pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations instagram.com/sarafiskcoach facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

    26 min

  4. 3 Jun

    Episode 165 - The Good Girl Rules are a High-Demand System

    A high-demand system is any structure that requires a significant amount of your time, energy, and identity in exchange for belonging. We often think about high-demand religions, workplaces, families, or cultures, but there is one system that is hard to recognize because it’s so ingrained in society that it just feels like the way things are supposed to be: the good girl rules. The unspoken expectations women absorb throughout their lives function like any other high-demand system. They reward compliance, create fear around stepping outside the rules, and keep us so focused on being good enough that we never get the chance to fully discover who we are. But understanding the systems we live in is the first step toward finding our way back to ourselves. Here’s what I cover: The characteristics that most high-demand systems have in commonHow high-demand systems reward compliance and discourage deviation from the rulesExamples of high-demand systems and the ways they shape identity and belongingThree of the biggest things women lose when living by the good girl rulesQuestions to help you examine the systems you live in and what they may cost you Find Sara here: sarafisk.coach pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations instagram.com/sarafiskcoach facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

    37 min

  5. 27 May

    Episode 164 - What I Wish I Would’ve Told You About Your Body

    Most women learn to experience their bodies through other people’s eyes before they ever learn how to truly live inside them. I’ve had a few conversations recently that brought up things I wish I had known about bodies when I was younger, and things I wish I had talked about with my own daughter. In this episode, I’m unpacking everything from the unspoken rules women absorb from a young age to the patriarchal systems that keep those rules in place. There is such a rich conversation here for mothers to have with their daughters, but also for us to have with the younger versions of ourselves who grew up inside these same systems of sexual objectification, shame, and discomfort in our bodies. Here’s what I cover: 5 examples of good girl rules that shape the way women think about and experience their bodiesThe book More Than a Body and the “instrument versus ornament” reframe that changed how I think about self-objectificationHow girls develop shame around their bodies when they don’t have anyone to talk to about what they are experiencingThe hidden trade women are offered between male attention and connection to themselvesWhat it can sound like to have important conversations with girls about their bodies Find Sara here: sarafisk.coach pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations instagram.com/sarafiskcoach facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

    42 min

  6. 20 May

    Episode 163 - The Hidden People Pleasing of High Achievers

    There is a version of people-pleasing that hides behind competence, ambition, professionalism, and being the person everyone can count on. In this episode, I’m unpacking the patterns that show up in high achievers and what happens when competence becomes part of your identity. If the traits that brought you success are slowly starting to feel exhausting, it doesn’t mean you need to stop striving completely. It means there is a different way to experience achievement, one where you can be highly capable while also being supported, loved, helped, and truly known in reciprocal relationships. Here’s what I cover: Why people pleasing in high achievers is often brushed off as “just being professional”The childhood experiences that teach women that being useful is what makes them lovableHow competence can become a cage that leaves high-achieving women feeling lonely and resentfulThe invisible contract women believe in when they keep overfunctioning and overdeliveringThe sneaky ways people pleasing shows up through perfectionism and emotional responsibilityHow to start supporting the younger part of you that learned that needing things was unsafe Find Sara here: sarafisk.coach pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations instagram.com/sarafiskcoach facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

    41 min

  7. 13 May

    Episode 162 - The Patriarchal Double-Bind of Motherhood

    Patriarchy asks mothers to hold themselves to impossible standards and then blames them when they struggle. In this episode, I’m revisiting the patriarchal double-bind through the lens of motherhood and unpacking the expectations women are expected to follow all at once. We’ve become accustomed to policing others and ourselves based on the rules we’ve been taught a “good mother” should follow, while the realities of exhaustion, isolation, grief, resentment, and needing help are treated as personal failures. But motherhood is beautiful and hard, and acknowledging that both things can exist simultaneously is what begins to set women free. Here’s what I cover: Why motherhood is such a clear example of the patriarchal double-bindHow social media often pressures women to hide the difficult parts of motherhoodWhy women are taught that needing help means failure and how that isolates mothersThe realities of parental leave and childcare that reveal how unsupported mothers actually areHow fear keeps women silent about motherhood and why telling the truth feels so risky Find Sara here: sarafisk.coach pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations instagram.com/sarafiskcoach facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

    34 min

  8. 6 May

    Episode 161 - The Two Conversation Buckets

    There are almost always two things happening when hard conversations feel impossible, and understanding the difference can change everything. In this episode, I’m introducing what I call the two communication buckets—clarity and vulnerability—and why they so often lead women into silence, self-protection, and disconnected relationships. You’ll hear why confusion between the two buckets is one of the biggest reasons hard conversations stay stuck, and how the relationships that feel most alive and nourishing are built on both the willingness to say the true thing and the willingness to let yourself truly be seen. Here’s what I cover: A story about an emotional moment with my husband when I finally admitted something I had been terrified to say out loudHow years of communication struggles and independence caused me to armor up in my relationshipWhat the clarity spectrum looks like from softening and hedging to direct and honest communicationWhat vulnerability really is and how the “glass wall” keeps people from truly knowing youQuestions to ask yourself and tiny first steps that help you move toward the conversations you want to have Find Sara here: sarafisk.coach pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations instagram.com/sarafiskcoach facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

    25 min
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About

Welcome to the Ex Good Girl Podcast! I’m Sara Bybee Fisk, the Stop People Pleasing Coach. If you feel exhausted from constant people pleasing and perfectionism, and you are ready to stop but you don’t know how, this podcast is for YOU! I will help you learn to stop making other people comfortable at your own expense. I can show you a roadmap you can use to train yourself to stop abandoning your own desires and let go of the fear of what others will think. If you are ready to stop pretending everything is fine, get out of the cycle of doubt, guilt, and resentment AND step into a life of power and freedom, I can help!

Information

  • Creator
    Sara Bybee Fisk
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    177
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 null All Rights Reserved.
  • Show Website
    The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

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