They Don't Know I'm Suffering We talk a lot about vulnerability these days — maybe too much, and often in the wrong way. In this Five Minute Quickie, I challenge the idea that vulnerability means oversharing or spilling everything too soon. Because for most people who are suffering — anxiety, overwhelm, feeling broken, or just "not quite right" — the real issue is this: People don't know what's going on inside. And we're embarrassed to tell them. This episode plants the seed for a deeper dive into: Why "suck it up" beliefs don't keep you safe How your unconscious mind is trying (and failing) to protect you A healthier, simpler way to understand vulnerability What freedom from inner suffering could feel like This is for everyone — whether you're suffering a little, a lot, or not right now at all. The deeper dive is coming next. Please share this with others so we can all come together on the longer episode https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-525-they-dont-know-im-suffering Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, welcome to the five minute quickie. Well, it's not five minutes, but it's a seed for a longer, deeper dive into something that I think is quite serious. You see, I get confused. I am confused. Why am I confused? Because every man, every man, his dog, wife, family, relations, talk about vulnerability, bloody vulnerability. It's over-talked. And to me, it starts, and the way they talk about it, it starts too far in. And those who follow that, and when I say follow that, I mean, they go overboard, don't they? And it's embarrassing. They give out so much personal stuff. And it's intense. And it's probably too soon. And it's just too much information. Too much. And it becomes embarrassing because what do you do? What do you do when you hear it? You know, for me, it's like, and I'm a therapist, not their therapist, but, and I could go into therapy mode, but I think, you know, this is not the, we're in the, maybe in a bar, pub. This is just too much. Sometimes you've only just met the buggers and it's like, gosh, you see, this is what I think in reality, when we suffer issues, experiences, you know, they could be large, could be small. Doesn't really matter inside. We would like other people to know that we are suffering because you can't see it. Can you? It's not as if you're limping or something like that. It's inside. You're suffering inside, large or small. Could be just anxiety. Could be, could be something massive. And they don't, don't know. And we just, we would like people to know, don't you? You do. I do. I know I do. I feel, you know, I'd love to be able to speak to you, but no, no, no, no. You see what happens is I think it's embarrassing to say it. It's embarrassing to let it out, you know, because we've got these things called like, suck it up, suck it up, buttercup. You know, you push it down, push it down, man up, woman up, get on with life. Just get on with it. And then there's old limiting beliefs. Those old limiting beliefs that go, well, they'll think less of me. They won't understand me. They just, you know, if I show weakness, that's a real bad thing. And it isn't by the way, it isn't. But here's the thing. They are all excuses. They're excuses. And you're choosing to use those excuses. And now in my notes, I thought to myself, fuck, that's hard, Cluffy. That's a hard one to take. But I have to take it myself because I do the same thing. And when I look back and I can look at myself in like a meta position, I can say, yeah, he chose to do that because who else chose? Who else chose to say those things, do those things or not say those things and suck it up, push it down. We chose. Now I'm not saying necessarily we chose consciously. I don't think we do. We just do it because they're like limiting beliefs. Those limiting beliefs are in there and they just, they just kick off, don't they? They get triggered. So it's unconscious. So it's an unconscious choice, but your unconscious mind is your unconscious mind. It's choosing, but it's choosing for you for a wonderful reason. Don't feel very good. Don't feel wonderful, but it's a wonderful reason trying to protect you. And it's given us all this b******t beliefs. I call it bullshit because we could call them limiting beliefs, but they're b******t beliefs and all that self-talk, but it's trying to protect you for your own good, but it's not working, is it? Because you see, this is my thought. You have a thought. You have a thought, Cluffy? Yeah, I have a thought about what vulnerability really is or could be in my mind. You see, I think it's more to do with honesty and that's not being straight with others or not straight with others. You know, it's about something else, which I'll go into in a minute. And that's where we're going to dive deeply into on that longer, deeper podcast of that episode. You see, I've got a plan. I've also got a process that I think just might make the difference. And what do I mean by that? Well, first of all, let's go back a little bit, rewind. Who is this episode for? The longer, deeper dive? Well, in my mind, it's bloody everyone. You see, it doesn't matter whether you're suffering a little, got a little bit of anxiety, got a little bit of this, a little bit of that, or you're suffering a lot. Or you're not suffering at the moment because there's always a time that you might, you see. And I want to deep dive into those beliefs, those limiting beliefs, those suck it up beliefs and all that stuff, and how they're not keeping you safe. How, although it's a wonderful intention to keep you safe, the behaviours and the beliefs and all that BS stuff is now no longer appropriate. It's no longer working. And how do you know it's not working? How do you know? Just have a little think. Have a little think that you know it's not working. And I'll tell you for why. It's because it doesn't feel comfortable. It doesn't feel safe. And if it doesn't feel safe, it doesn't feel comfortable, then it's not working. But we do want to feel safe, don't we? We want to be safe in the world. We want to be comfortable in the world. We want to let go of issues so we can really be, really be safe. We don't want to hide behind these things and keep our issues. We want to let them go. And that's how in the longer, deeper dive, we want to, in effect, explain to your unconscious mind what it's trying to do is a wonderful thing. However, it's no longer working. Let's find a better way. And you see, it's all about simpleness, simple ways. We know in simplicity, there is genius. In simplicity, there is genius. In simplicity, there is genius. Keeping everything in a nice, easy way so we can understand it consciously, and our unconscious mind can understand it even more better. And you see, we're going to use some lovely, simple steps that work to get you or your friend back from feeling broken. Because we do sometimes we feel broken, we can feel anxious, we can feel every bloody syndrome in the world. We get depressed. We get, you know, don't want to leave the house. I don't want to meet people, social anxiety in every way, shape or form. And they grow. If they don't get tapped, they can grow, they can get more intense. And even if they are intense, we can still work on this. So that's who we, that's who it's for. And I want you to be the person who you really want to be, who you really are. You know, let's let this go and be that person. And we can be vulnerable. But in a special way, we can be honest in a special way. I mean, just for a moment, just for a moment. Just before I go, if you're suffering a little, if you're suffering a lot, even if you're not suffering, but you could imagine that if you were just for a moment, just for a moment, take a breath and imagine what it would feel like to be free, to be free of issues and to have the tools to deal with any issues that came knocking on your door. What would that feel like? Just feel it now for a moment. Imagine it, make it up, make it up to just get an idea, idea what it would feel like, because we're showing our unconscious mind, this is a great feeling. And with this great feeling, I could probably do a lot more than I'm doing.
