Buy The Dead Cow

Ep 01 - I Don’t Know What Tariffs Are, But They’re Ruining My Life

Trump slapped tariffs on literally everything. Almond milk? Taxed. iPhones? Taxed. Warhammer minis? Oh no. In the very first episode of Buy the Dead Cow (a finance podcast, technically), Savannah (knows nothing about money) and Zach (knows too much) break down what a tariff actually is, why Trump’s 2025 tariff plan is so extreme, and how it’s messing with your grocery bill, your gadgets, and global trade as we know it.

We’re talking import taxes, the supply chain Rube Goldberg machine, Shrinkflation, and why every lithium-ion battery you’ve ever touched is now weirdly political. Also: rejected podcast names that were too horny.

Buy The Dead Cow is a casually educational finance podcast from two romantic partners: one speaks fluent Wall Street, the other still isn’t totally sure what a "stock" is.

Zach Stone (he/him) is a retail trader and small business owner. Savannah Geary (they/them) is a science communicator who watched The Big Short one time. Together, they’re your two smartest dumb friends breaking down money in a way that actually makes sense—plus jokes, news, and the occasional shoutout to Robert Walpole.

Yes, it’s a podcast about finance—but really, it’s about everything. Because if you squint hard enough, anything can be about money: history, weed, even your weird uncle’s conspiracy theory about GameStop.

The name? It’s what happens when you combine “buy the cow” and “beat a dead horse.” You’re welcome.

Our theme song is “Spaghetti Western and Spaceballs” off the album SPACE Ranger by Lucky Bunn. Used under a CC-BY license. You can find the album on Soundcloud.

https://soundcloud.com/lucky-bunn/spaghettiwesternmeatballs

AI Disclosure: I had help from Firecut AI for some of the initial editing work and on-screen captions. I had help from ChatGPT for brainstorming titles and for writing summaries of the episode. 


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https://www.flaticon.com/free-icons/almond-milk Almond milk icons created by Freepik - Flaticon

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