486 episodi

The weekly Ross o'Carroll-Kelly column in audio, read by Paul Howard.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly The Irish Times

    • Umorismo

The weekly Ross o'Carroll-Kelly column in audio, read by Paul Howard.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Honor is only running for Mount Anville head girl to downgrade her old dear’s greatest life achievement

    Honor is only running for Mount Anville head girl to downgrade her old dear’s greatest life achievement

    The old man steps into the kitchen with a Montecristo the size of a rolled-up yoga mat burning between his fat fingers. Sorcha storts coughing – her passive-aggressive way of telling him that we don’t allow smoking in this house – but he just ignores her, like he did when she tried to introduce a similar rule about shoes.
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    • 6 min
    ‘There’s a video of me doing the rounds on this famous Tick Tocks dot com’

    ‘There’s a video of me doing the rounds on this famous Tick Tocks dot com’

    How quickly the years go by. That’s what I’m thinking as I’m taking the right turn at Donnybrook Bus Depot.
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    • 6 min
    ‘You should be ashamed of yourselves! We’re old enough to be your parents and we’ve taken you to three sets!’

    ‘You should be ashamed of yourselves! We’re old enough to be your parents and we’ve taken you to three sets!’

    I had my nightmare again last night, the one where I have a one-night stand with Taylor Swift and then I ghost the girl and she ends up writing 15 or 16 songs about me and they’re on the radio constantly. And – yeah, no – I woke up screaming.
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    • 6 min
    ‘If you play that match, Ross, our marriage is over’

    ‘If you play that match, Ross, our marriage is over’

    Sorcha is upset. I totally get that? But I haven’t seen her over-react like this since I ate a tin of macadamias from the hotel mini-bor on a weekend city break in Ljubljana.
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    • 6 min
    ‘You are not having a hort attack! I’m not allowing it!’

    ‘You are not having a hort attack! I’m not allowing it!’

    Réaltín smiles. Which might well be a first for her. Yeah, no, we’re in Baldoyle of all places, playing Thor Frimann and Lisa Murray – the reigning champions – in the semi-finals of the mixed doubles at the Leinster Padel Championships. It’s, like, one set apiece and we’re winning 5-4 in the third.
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    • 6 min
    ‘I didn’t play football for Rathnew. I didn’t play football for anyone. I resent the allegation’

    ‘I didn’t play football for Rathnew. I didn’t play football for anyone. I resent the allegation’

    I tell Honor that I’m proud of her.
    I’m there, “Obviously, I don’t mean that literally?” because all she’s actually done is spend her Paddy’s Day picking litter up off the beach in Curracloe as port of her community service. “I’m proud of the way you’re, like, owning what you did?”

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    • 5 min

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