Self Approval School with Libby Bunten

Libby Bunten

Exploring somatics, embodiment, sexual power and the wild ride of navigating womanhood in a hyper-masculinized culture to come back to the wisdom of the body. libbybunten.substack.com

Episodes

  1. SAS Podcast Ep. 007: Ladies! Do less.

    29 min ago

    SAS Podcast Ep. 007: Ladies! Do less.

    Hello, my loves. I had one of those moments recently that felt so obvious that, once I processed it and landed back on Earth, I was actually able to get to a place where I laughed my ass off at myself. And also had some serious compassion for myself. You know those moments where you’ve known something intellectually for years, you’ve even taught it to other people, and then all of a sudden your body catches up? That’s what happened to me. I call it an embodied experience. When what you know fully lands in your body in a way that is just a deep, deep knowing. It started with a disagreement between my and my husband, Paul, over selling a piece of equipment. It sounds completely ordinary because it was in many ways. But my reaction wasn’t. I was so much more activated than the situation called for, which is usually my cue that there are more people in the room than I can see. My husband was there. I was there. But apparently, there was also little me and some members of my family. I refer to this type of experience as “knowing there is history in the room.” Meaning we know there is a lived trauma or wound history showing up when our response to something is exponentially stronger than the obvious incident or stimilus. As I slowed myself down afterward, I found myself asking the same question I’ve asked clients for years: What is my body remembering? The answer surprised me and didn’t surprise me at all. Self Approval School is a reader/listener-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. I realized I wasn’t reacting to my husband. I was reacting from a little girl who spent years believing that if she could just keep everything together, she’d finally create enough safety. That’s a lot for a child to carry. It’s also a lot for a grown woman to keep carrying. One of the things I’ve been thinking about since then is how often women confuse doing with safety. Not because we’re weak or broken. Because somewhere along the way, the doing worked. It helped us belong. It helped us avoid conflict. It helped us feel needed. It helped us survive. Of course we kept doing it. The invitation isn’t to judge those adaptations. Honestly, I feel a tremendous amount of compassion for mine. The invitation is to ask whether they’re still necessary. I’ve been doing what I’ve jokingly called a pleasure audit lately. Looking at my calendar and asking myself things like, Do I actually want to go? Did anyone even ask me to do this? Am I saying yes because I desire it, or because some old part of me still believes my usefulness is what makes me worthy? Those questions have changed more than my schedule. They’re changing my life. When I say, “Ladies, do less,” I don’t mean become less ambitious or to stop contributing. And I sure as hell don’t mean care less. I just mean...what if we stopped carrying the things that were never ours to carry in the first place? Especially the things that weren’t explicitly asked of us! What if we trusted that our dignity isn’t something we earn through exhaustion? What if we believed that the woman we’ve become no longer has to live by the rules that helped the little girl survive? That’s the conversation I wanted to have this week. I’d love to know what came up for you from listening to this episode. And I want to know if and how you are going to do even 1% less. XO Libby Get full access to Self Approval School at libbybunten.substack.com/subscribe

    31 min
  2. Does the word Sisterhood make you cringe?

    28 May

    Does the word Sisterhood make you cringe?

    For more information on how to coach with me, visit my website here. If you feel called to join my monthly coaching membership, THE SISTERHOOD, get information and join here. In this episode we discuss what many women in a Patriarchalized culture struggle with - The Sisterhood Wound. We define it, unpack it, and talk about ways to heal it. If you're a woman who is exhausted with performative friendships and ra-ra-ra spiritual bypassing versions of sisterhood, this one is definitely for you! Get full access to Self Approval School at libbybunten.substack.com/subscribe

    49 min
  3. Ep. 005: You don't need more "Self Help"

    17 May

    Ep. 005: You don't need more "Self Help"

    Over the past several years as I’ve run deeply intimate and powerfully revealing groups with women, many themes and common threads emerged. As women unlearned their conditioning, as women relaxed into truly being seen and held, as women started to shine their light in front of a group of other real live women - all of these things pointed them directly back to the one thing they needed most. THEMSELVES. Not another diet, or HIIT program, or sales funnel, or blah blah blah… Not a savior. Themselves. In a kind of reverse engineering, a model emerged and almost channeled into me about what it takes to be a fully expressed woman in a world that wants us silenced and invisible. And that model is something I call Embodied Self Leadership. In this episode, I talk about the three core leadership mechanics that make up this model. We get sold a lot of intellectual and mental processes, checklists, and linear strategies, but even when we “accomplish the goal” by way of these things, we still end up feeling confused, empty, and burnt out. That is because the body is not included in these so-called strategies. I’m here to make the case for the foundational strategy we all need in order for everything to be successful, aligned, and sustainable. And it must always include the wisdom of the body. I also have created something really special for you that you can check out here that might be able to help you on this journey of becoming a fully Self Approved Woman. Thanks for listening and I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences around what is shared here. Love you so hard! XO Libby Get full access to Self Approval School at libbybunten.substack.com/subscribe

    44 min
  4. Ep. 004: Relevant Rant: Rage, Grief, and the Online R*pe Academy

    26 Apr

    Ep. 004: Relevant Rant: Rage, Grief, and the Online R*pe Academy

    TRIGGER WARNING: This episode references sexual assault, violence, and what is being referred to in the media as “the online rape academy.” This isn’t the episode I was planning to record today. I took the last few weeks off from recording because I was fully immersed in the the pleasure and joy of being celebrated for my birthday for the entire month of April. I brag. In that time I oriented entirely around connection, appreciation, Sisterhood, and plain old fkn fun! It was a much needed reprieve from producing anything and it felt great. And I approve of having taken that time off. But during that time, as most of you probably know, a news headline broke about what is being referred to as “the online rape academy”. I was at home alone in the evening when the headline rolled across my screen. I stared in a state of shock. NOT SURPRISE…because, sadly, none of this is surprising to me. But my system was just in shock trying to process what I was reading. I started sweating, shaking, crying, and a wave of total nausea crashed over me. I was flooded with rage, fear, and grief - all completely normal responses to reading something so vile and disturbing. I’ve had many conversations and interactions with the women and men in my life about this since the news broke, covering a wide range of reactions, emotions, and questions. So rather than step over it and stick to my regularly scheduled programming, I knew I had to come here and talk about it. This episode is one of many to come that I am calling Relevant Rants - episodes where I speak candidly and totally off the cuff about something that is coming up in the world, our culture, or even just my personal life that is relevant to Self Approval School. Especially things that many people who claim to be in the healing industry DO NOT want to talk about publicly. This episode is raw, messy, unedited (as they all are, I brag), and is a space to open a conversation with all of you about this devastating violence we are trying to navigate. And although sharing this episode is simply a drop in the bucket of change, it feels like an important drop on my journey with this podcast. Please leave comments, share about your experience, and feel free to go off about your huge feelings about the matter. Love you so hard. xo Libby Get full access to Self Approval School at libbybunten.substack.com/subscribe

    34 min
  5. Ep. 003: You're still seeking approval. Let's talk about it.

    29 Mar

    Ep. 003: You're still seeking approval. Let's talk about it.

    *Edit to episode: In an inspired moment I vaguely referenced Brene Brown’s research on belonging and I misquoted it in my excitement. A more accurate reference is below: According to Brené Brown, fitting in is the opposite or even, in stronger words, the enemy of belonging. Fitting in is contorting your authentic self to be accepted by others, while belonging is being accepted for who you truly are. True belonging doesn’t require editing yourself; it requires the courage to show up as in your true self, which sometimes means standing alone out on the skinny branch. Or, as I like to say, showing up in full self approval! In short, true belonging falls in line with being loved just as you are. xo Hello, my love. There are places in your life where you are still seeking approval. But you’re calling it something else. You’re calling it being thoughtful.Being emotionally intelligent.Needing more time. But underneath all of that, you’re waiting. Waiting to be validated.Waiting to be reassured.Waiting for someone to confirm what you already know. In this episode, we’re getting honest about the subtle, socially acceptable ways you abandon yourself and call it “being a good person.” The over-explaining.The checking.The softening of your truth so it lands better. Not because you don’t know…but because somewhere along the way, you learned it was safer to be approved of than it was to be fully yourself. This isn’t about fixing you. It’s about catching the exact moment where you leave yourself,and choosing, instead, to stay. Self Approval School is a reader and listener-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. We talk about: * the quiet ways approval-seeking is still running your life * why it feels so normal and so hard to see * what it actually feels like in your body when you override yourself * and what it takes to start trusting your own authority again If you’ve been telling yourself you’re just being thoughtful,this one might call you out a little. And confront you - in the best way! Thanks for listening! Love you so hard! xo Libby Get full access to Self Approval School at libbybunten.substack.com/subscribe

    29 min

  6. 2 Mar

    Self Approval School Podcast Ep. 002: Why Me and Why Self Approval?

    Trigger Warning: This episode includes mentions of suicide, trauma, and addiction. Please listen with care and honor your body's limits. It you're not in a place to hear that right now, you might want to skip this one or come back when you have more support. Episode Description: In this episode of Self Approval School, Libby shares why she is the one talking about self-approval - and why this work is so deeply personal. She takes you back to her early years growing up poor in a wealthy town, navigating classism, chaos, and powerful but exhausted women who carried everything. Libby talks about parentification, achievement as a survival strategy, eating disorders, body hatred, codependency, and the trans-generational trauma and poverty that shaped her nervous system. She also shares about her mother's deterioration and eventual suicide, and how that loss became one of the deepest reasons she refuses to abandon this work - and why she's so devoted to helping women learn to fully embody self approval and to live it out loud! In this episode, you'll also hear about: • Growing up in a tiny town, steeped in classism and scarcity • How abuse, chaos, and fierce love coexisted in Libby's home • The link between achievement, safety, belonging, and love • Early self-disapproval: eating disorders, body hatred, and codependency • Trans-generational trauma, addiction, and loss • How Libby's mother's death became part of her "why" for this podcast • Why she chose self-approval (not just confidence or mindset) as her life's work. If you've ever wondered "Who am I to do this work?" or felt like your story disqualifies you, this episode offers a raw, honest look at how one woman's pain, lineage, and healing became a devotion to helping other women stop abandoning themselves. Connect with Libby: Website: https://www.libbybunten.com IG: @thelibbybunten Get full access to Self Approval School at libbybunten.substack.com/subscribe

    30 min

  7. 22 Feb

    Welcome to Self Approval School, the podcast!

    In this first episode, I share why I created Self Approval School and what you can expect when you're in this space. We talk about: -What "good-girl" conditioning looks like in real life -How internalized patriarchy and misogyny keep us doubting ourselves -Why self-approval isn't a mindset hack, but a practice of internal intimacy and embodiment -The kind of convos and stories you'll hear on this show if you're ready to feel it all FULLY Love you so hard! xo https://www.libbybunten.com/ Get full access to Self Approval School at libbybunten.substack.com/subscribe

    17 min
  • 7 Episodes

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Exploring somatics, embodiment, sexual power and the wild ride of navigating womanhood in a hyper-masculinized culture to come back to the wisdom of the body. libbybunten.substack.com

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