The Anxious Achiever

Host Morra Aarons-Mele is on a mission to reframe how we think about anxiety and mental health in the workplace. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S. We desperately need better models for leadership and a more holistic view of mental health. Our culture tells those of us who suffer from anxiety and depression that we can’t succeed, but we tell a different story — without sugarcoating the tough stuff. We feature stories from people who’ve been there and experts who can help you thrive. Listen in your favorite podcast app: https://pod.link/1480904163 For ad inquiries, please reach out to: Network+TAA@yapmedia.com

  1. 7 HR AGO

    Do Conflict Better With Amy Gallo

    Do difficult conversations keep you up at night, or do they make you want to avoid conflict altogether? In this episode, I sit down with workplace conflict expert Amy Gallo, author of Getting Along, to talk about how healthy conflict actually strengthens trust, decision-making, and leadership confidence. We dive into how our brains get emotionally hijacked during difficult conversations, how avoidance creates “conflict debt,” and why learning to stay grounded in discomfort may be one of the most important leadership skills we can build. Tune in to learn how to face conflict calmly to reduce anxiety and make you a more confident leader. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand, and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why conflict feels especially hard for anxious achievers. 04:30 How avoiding conflict increases anxiety. 06:15 What happens during an emotional “amygdala hijack”? 08:00 The cost of conflict avoidance and conflict debt. 10:30 How difficult conversations build confidence over time. 12:30 What is the role of shame and fear in workplace conflict? 17:00 How to practice conflict safely in low-stakes situations. 22:30 The 4-step framework for handling conflict better. 27:30 Finding shared goals during disagreement. 32:15 What to do when conflict keeps you up at night. 34:15 How to repair conversations that went badly. Resources + Links Get your copy of Amy’s book Getting Along HERE Learn more about Amy Gallo HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Amy: on LinkedIn @amyegallo + Instagram @amyegallo

    41 min
  2. 2 DAYS AGO

    The Gift of Introverted Leadership with Jennifer Kahnweiler

    For years, leadership has been associated with charisma, confidence, and speaking the loudest in the room. But what if some of the most powerful leadership traits are actually quiet ones? In this episode, I’m joined by leadership expert and author Jennifer Kahnweiler to talk about the strengths of introverted leaders. We break down the misconceptions around introversion, why many successful leaders are secretly introverted, and how preparation, listening, and thoughtful presence can become leadership superpowers. Tune in to rethink what effective leadership looks like and learn how quiet strengths can create lasting influence. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit ⁠https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree⁠ Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to ⁠http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever⁠ Talkiatry - Head to ⁠http://talkiaitry.com/achiever⁠ and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working ⁠http://genius.com⁠ Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to ⁠brevo.com/achiever⁠ and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why introverted leadership is often misunderstood. 03:45 What is an introverted leader? 06:00 What has changed and what hasn’t for introverts at work. 10:30 Are you adapting or just exhausted? 14:45 The 4 P’s of introverted leadership. 18:30 Why telling your team you’re an introvert is a leadership hack. 21:30 Why quiet men face unique workplace bias. 27:15 The connection between introversion, anxiety, and performance. 33:00 How introverted leaders prepare for high-stakes meetings. 35:15 Techniques to make meetings more introvert-friendly. 39:15 How giving teammates a heads-up increases participation. 44:30 How to show presence in meetings without talking more. 47:45 The introvert's guide to not burning out in a hybrid world. Resources + Links Learn more about Jennifer Kahnweiler ⁠HERE⁠ Listen to Jennifer’s podcast: ⁠The Introvert Ally Podcast⁠ Get a copy of my book - ⁠The Anxious Achiever⁠ Watch the podcast on ⁠YouTube⁠  Find more resources on our website ⁠morraam.com⁠ Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn ⁠@morraaronsmele⁠ + Instagram ⁠@morraam⁠ Follow Jennifer: on LinkedIn ⁠@jenniferkahnweiler⁠ + Instagram ⁠@jenniferkahnweiler

    54 min
  3. 19 FEB

    How To Negotiate When Negotiating Makes You Nervous with Chris Voss & Moshe Cohen

    Negotiation isn’t just about boardrooms and big deals. It’s every time you ask for what you need that brings up fear, self-doubt, and a rush of emotion that can derail the whole conversation. In this episode, I talk with former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss and negotiation expert Moshe Cohen about why so many of us dread conflict, how curiosity can quiet anxiety, and how to use tactical empathy as a strategic tool. We also share the tools to slow down emotional hijack and manage rejection. Tune in to learn how to regulate your emotions and negotiate with clarity instead of fear. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with  customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why negotiation is happening in almost every interaction. 04:45 What are the 3 types of handling conflict? 09:15 How curiosity shuts down fear in your brain. 12:15 Is asking questions in general a good technique in a negotiation? 16:30 What empathy really means in negotiation. 23:15 How bonding and trust influence negotiation outcomes. 26:15 Why you should talk less and listen more in negotiation. 32:00 How naming your emotions reduces their intensity. 38:00 How often does that anxiety show up during a negotiation exercise? 41:00 Tips to slow down time when you feel emotionally hijacked. 46:15 What is the listening triangle? 50:30 How much advice is too much in a negotiation? 57:00 How to build your rejection muscle. 01:00:00 The stories you tell yourself before and during a negotiation 01:02:00 How knowing your BATNA lowers the stakes and raises confidence. Resources + Links Get the Anxious Achiever Healthy High Achieving App - studio.com/morra Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Chris: on LinkedIn @christophervoss + Instagram @thefbinegotiator Follow Moshe: on LinkedIn @moshecohen

    1h 9m
  4. 17 FEB

    Inside the Role of Chief Wellbeing Officer with Jen Fisher

    Work is making people sick, and quick fixes are not enough. In this episode, I’m joined by Jen Fisher, former Chief Wellbeing Officer at Deloitte, to talk about why wellbeing isn’t a perk but a business imperative. We break down why burnout is often rooted in systemic issues and hopelessness, how middle managers shape our daily mental health, and why hope and an understanding of the human nervous system may be the most underrated leadership skills of all. Tune in to rethink what wellbeing means and what it takes to lead with hope right now. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why wellbeing is more than mental health benefits. 06:00 How burnout led Jen to pioneer the Chief Wellbeing Officer role. 13:00 What does “wellbeing at work” mean? 19:30 The ROI of fixing workplace culture. 23:00 Why does AI make us so anxious?  26:00 Why wellbeing must be part of organizational strategy. 30:00 How constant disruption dysregulates employees. 33:15 What is the definition of a successful leader? 37:15 What workplace data misses about human outcomes. 40:30 The #1 thing employees want from leaders. 46:00 Why middle management is the make-or-break layer. 51:00 Incentives drive culture more than values. 58:15 How to build a wellbeing role inside your organization. Resources + Links Get your copy of Jen’s book - Hope Is The Strategy Read Jen’s article: “The Wellbeing Imperative: What I Learned Pioneering the Chief Wellbeing Officer Role” Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Jen: on LinkedIn @jenfisher + Instagram @jenfish23

    1h 7m
  5. 12 FEB

    Why Do We Micromanage People? With Prof. Julia Milner

    You’re not trying to control people. You’re trying to help. But what if your “help” is quietly draining your team’s confidence, creativity, and trust? In this episode, I sit down with Professor Julia Milner of EDHEC Business School to talk about the psychology of micromanagement, especially the kind that comes from anxiety, care, and good intentions. We dive into the difference between constructive feedback and control disguised as questions, the “advice trap” that keeps leaders stuck, and why micromanaging often feels safer in the moment but costs you long-term trust, dialogue, and time. Tune in to learn how to replace fixing with serving, advice with curiosity, and control with empowerment. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why micromanagers often act from anxiety. 04:15 How to spot motivational micromanagement. 06:30 Why do you hate being micromanaged? 12:00 How micromanagement increases anxiety on both sides. 14:15 The subtle way “questions” can shut down dialogue. 18:00 How to give upward feedback without triggering defensiveness. 20:45 What it means to adopt a coaching mindset. 22:00 Phrases you can use to reset a micromanaging dynamic. 28:45 What’s the difference between feedback and feed forward? 30:30 How do you treat yourself with grace? 33:00 What the best empowering leaders all have in common. Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Prof. Julia on LinkedIn @drjuliamilner

    38 min
  6. 10 FEB

    The Best Leadership Advice You'll Ever Get with Margaret Andrews

    Self-understanding is the foundation of great leadership. In this episode, I sit down with Margaret Andrews, leadership educator, former executive director of the MBA program at MIT Sloan, and author, to talk about why leadership begins as an inside job. Margaret shares the 6 self-understanding questions, the best boss exercise that shows what people value in leadership, and why interpersonal skills aren’t about being affable. Tune in to rethink what it really means to manage yourself to lead others effectively. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Cozy Earth - Give your home the luxury it deserves. Head to http://cozyearth.com and use code ACHIEVER for up to 20% off. Express VPN - Secure your online data today. Visit http://expressvpn.com/achiever and find out how you can get up to four extra months. Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 What to do when you’re triggered before you have to show up. 05:00 What is the best way to lead? 10:00 The “best boss” exercise and what 20 years of data reveal. 14:15 The 3 traits that separate good bosses from great ones. 18:15 What is managing yourself to lead others? 22:30 How moments of “hot shame” shape your leadership patterns. 25:00 Why you can’t manage what you don’t understand. 29:00 Should you improve weaknesses or maximize strengths? 33:30 The most common reasons leaders derail. 38:00 How to grow without losing credibility. 42:00 Why telling people what you’re working on can build trust. 45:00 Ways to practice self-management without losing status. 49:00 How do you get unscared of heart emotions? Resources + Links Learn more about Margaret Andrews HERE Get your copy of Margaret’s book, Manage Yourself to Lead Others HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Margaret on LinkedIn @margaretcandrews

    1h 2m
  7. 5 FEB

    Should You Be Yourself At Work? With Dr. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic

    We’re told to “bring our whole selves to work.” But what if that advice is burning you out, especially if you’re anxious, neurodivergent, or wired differently? In this episode, I’m joined by psychologist and author Dr. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic to talk about why radical authenticity can actually harm your career, your relationships, and your energy. We dive into the difference between feeling authentic and being perceived as authentic, why emotional intelligence is really impression management in disguise, and how leaders who seem “real” are often the most curated of all. Tune in to rethink what authenticity really means and discover how to show up at work in a way that’s true to you and sustainable. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Cozy Earth - Give your home the luxury it deserves. Head to http://cozyearth.com and use code ACHIEVER for up to 20% off. Express VPN - Secure your online data today. Visit http://expressvpn.com/achiever and find out how you can get up to four extra months. Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Should you ever be your whole self at work? 04:00 Why “just be yourself” is bad career advice. 07:15 What’s the difference between feeling authentic and being seen as authentic? 09:45 How over-identifying with work fuels burnout. 12:15 Why the leaders we trust most are often the most curated. 14:15 What impression management really means. 16:45 Why every role calls for a different version of you. 19:00 The cost of “bring your whole self” for neurodivergent people. 22:00 Where does the authenticity movement come from? 25:15 How modern work became a soft cult. 29:00 Can you belong without over-sharing? 33:45 Why engagement and performance aren’t the same thing. 36:15 The generational shift toward radical honesty. 39:00 When does being “real” harm your team? 42:15 The rules that actually create psychological safety. 44:30 Why reputation matters more than intention. 47:00 How to learn how you’re really seen. 50:00 The truest definition of self-awareness. Resources + Links Get Dr. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic’s book Don’t Be Yourself Learn more about Tomas’s work on leadership, personality, and potential HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Tomas on LinkedIn @drtomaschamorro

    56 min
  8. 3 FEB

    David Lancefield Has A Better Way To Talk About Mental Health At Work

    We’ve never talked more about mental health at work and yet, burnout is rising, disengagement is everywhere, and leaders still feel stuck. In this episode, I’m joined by strategy coach and former PwC partner David Lancefield to talk about why the current approach isn’t working and what actually creates change. David shares why “mental health” has a bad brand in corporate life, how leaders can engage even the most skeptical executives, and why the real leverage point isn’t awareness campaigns, but better questions. We also dive into why small pilots beat big programs, and how leaders can design environments where people do their best work. Tune in to know what it means to treat mental health as a business solution. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Cozy Earth - Give your home the luxury it deserves. Head to http://cozyearth.com and use code ACHIEVER for up to 20% off. Express VPN - Secure your online data today. Visit http://expressvpn.com/achiever and find out how you can get up to four extra months. Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why the mental health conversation at work isn’t working. 07:00 The fear and freedom of leaving a prestigious role. 13:15 The mistake we make when trying to persuade leaders. 17:45 Why business results are the bridge to mental health. 21:15 How to reframe burnout as a performance problem. 25:00 Why storytelling can backfire without resolution. 30:45 What leaders should leave people feeling after sharing. 34:45 ​​The “motherhood penalty” and its parallels at work. 39:00 2 questions every leader should ask. 43:00 How do you move from drifting to designing your life? 47:00 3 questions that reset your day. 49:00 How do you help people shape roles around their strengths? Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow David: on LinkedIn @davidclancefield

    55 min

About

Host Morra Aarons-Mele is on a mission to reframe how we think about anxiety and mental health in the workplace. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S. We desperately need better models for leadership and a more holistic view of mental health. Our culture tells those of us who suffer from anxiety and depression that we can’t succeed, but we tell a different story — without sugarcoating the tough stuff. We feature stories from people who’ve been there and experts who can help you thrive. Listen in your favorite podcast app: https://pod.link/1480904163 For ad inquiries, please reach out to: Network+TAA@yapmedia.com

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