TruStory FM

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Channel • 20 Shows

Mental Health

Mental Health

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Management

Management

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Health & Fitness

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Film Reviews

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Society & Culture

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Fitness

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May 21

Why “I’ll Deal With It Later” Is an Energy Leak with Ari Tuckman

We've all said it. "I'll deal with it later." And somehow, later never comes. The thing just sits there — not in your calendar, but in your head. It pings you in the shower. It shows up right before you fall asleep. That's an energy leak. This week, Ari Tuckman returns for his sixth appearance to unpack what's actually happening when we tell ourselves "later." What is the ADHD brain doing in that moment? Are we making a real decision, or just kicking the can? And how do we tell the difference? We dig into: The two flavors of procrastination — not feeling the future vs. avoiding the discomfortWhy "later" needs a "when," and what specificity actually changesThe difference between a task that needs doing and a decision that needs makingHow to close an open loop that's been open way too longGoing toward positives vs. avoiding negatives, and why one of those is more sustainableTime estimation, and why some things aren't knowable until you startAri's new book, the ADHD Productivity ManualGuest Spotlight Ari Tuckman, PsyD is a psychologist, author, and international presenter specializing in ADHD. He's given more than 600 presentations and podcast interviews across America and nine other countries, and is the author of four books: ADHD After Dark, Understand Your Brain, Get More Done, More Attention, Less Deficit, and Integrative Treatment for Adult ADHD. He chairs the CHADD Conference Committee. This is his sixth appearance on the show. Links & Notes Ari's website: https://drarituckman.comAri on Instagram: @AriTuckmanPsyDBooks by Ari Tuckman:ADHD After DarkUnderstand Your Brain, Get More DoneMore Attention, Less DeficitIntegrative Treatment for Adult ADHDADHD Productivity Manual (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:13) - Join us over on Patreon! (02:13) - Introducing Ari Tuckman (03:06) - "I'll do it later..." ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

May 21

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38 min
May 14

The Schedule That Bends Without Breaking

You've heard it before, probably said it yourself: time blocking doesn't work for me. Every block that slips becomes one more piece of evidence that you've failed the system — or that the system has failed you. So this week, Nikki and Pete try something different. They change the word. Nikki walks through three terms that get thrown around in planning circles — intentional planning, time blocking, and the one she's been reaching for more and more lately: flexible scheduling. Pete pushes back (gently, mostly) on why we need a new word for something that was never supposed to be rigid in the first place. And together they unpack the real reason so many ADHDers bounce off scheduling: it's not the strategy, it's the story we tell ourselves when the strategy bends. Along the way: the dangerous allure of hyperscheduling and why it only really works if your livelihood is measured in billable minutes; why time blindness isn't a reason to skip time blocking (and why estimation was never the point); the spoon theory and scheduling around energy instead of just hours; and Pete's brand-new metaphor — age of time — for thinking about margin, buffer, and what it feels like to live three weeks ahead of yourself instead of one day behind. Plus, Nikki drops another download: Your ADHD Schedule Starter, a short, practical guide for building a flexible schedule step by step, with a reflection section built in so you can keep adjusting as you go. Link in the show notes. Links & Notes Your ADHD Schedule Starter (free download)Unapologetically ADHD by Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer — the book behind the frameworkFour Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver BurkemanGPS Planning Membership — Nikki's coaching community for planning, capture, and workflowSupport the show on Patreon — early ad-free episodes, livestream recordings, members-only DiscordDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (00:46) - Patreon.com/TheADHDPodcast (01:59) - Talking Schedules ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

May 14

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26 min
01/05/2023

Confirmation Bias in High Conflict Situations: How to Avoid Being Fooled by High Conflict People

Have you ever been fooled by someone? Or become passionate about a cause, belief, or opinion that later was proven to be false – and you discovered that the information was there all the time but you hadn’t considered anything outside one point of view? That may have been because of confirmation bias. In today’s episode, Bill and Megan discuss: what confirmation bias is and how it can fool usconfirmation bias in today’s society, such as social media, politics, and othershow it is used in high conflict court caseshow to avoid getting fooled by confirmation bias with allegations of abusehow to avoid getting fooled by a high conflict personLinks & Other Notes BOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeHigh Conflict People in Legal Disputes Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Timestamp: 158760000 (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:35) - Confirmation Bias (02:03) - What Is Confirmation Bias? (04:18) - Vs. Brainwashing (05:52) - Social Media (06:50) - Meta-Analysis (08:40) - Social Worker History (12:43) - Size of the Problem (17:58) - #MeToo Movement (19:17) - When in Cases (23:39) - Resist and Refuse Cases (27:13) - Avoiding Confirmation Bias (29:34) - Avoiding Getting Fooled by HCPs (31:41) - Wrap Up (32:05) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Explaining Personality Disorders

01/05/2023

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33 min
May 21

How Validation Calms the Brain: The Science of EAR Statements

When someone in a high conflict situation gets upset, the instinct is to explain, correct, or reason with them — and that almost always makes things worse. The reason isn't a mystery anymore: it's neuroscience. Validation doesn't just make people feel better; it quiets the amygdala's threat response and activates the part of the brain responsible for regulating emotions. An EAR statement — something showing empathy, attention, or respect — is the fastest way to get there. Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, connect recent brain research to the EAR statement framework — covering why tone of voice affects the vagus nerve, how to calm yourself before calming someone else, and when EAR statements shouldn't be used at all. It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM. Full Show Notes & Resources Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | Website Watch this episode on YouTube Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:49) - Validation (02:39) - Psychology Today Article (06:14) - Polyvagal Theory (11:08) - Why Harder for Some? (14:58) - How Do We Validate? (16:33) - Encouraging Statements (19:02) - Invalidation (21:42) - Example (24:00) - We Are in Charge of Ourselves (28:16) - When EAR Statements Won’t Work (32:53) - High Conflict Situations (34:40) - Wrap Up

May 21

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36 min
12/15/2022

How Brainwashing Works on a Child’s Brain

Did you know if brainwashing of a child is real in divorce and/or co-parenting? In parental alienation (child alienation), families are divided but is brainwashing behind it? A part of it? Or not at all? In today’s episode, Megan interviews Bill about his latest findings on this topic, which is one of the most challenging and painful life experiences that families go through. They will discuss: quick explanation of what parental alienation is why use the strong term of brainwashingthe role of neurons in a child’s brainwhy parental alienation seems to take hold primarily between the ages of 9 and 14, or does it?why alienated children have such strange or frivolous reasons why they resist or refuse contact with one of their parentswhy the child’s rejection or hatred of one parent is so pure and extreme, and not at all ambivalentan example of a 15-year-old girl who wrote a letter to her divorced father intending to end all contact with himwhat happened in that casewhat can be learned from itwhat should have happenedLinks & Other Notes WEBINAR: How Brainwashing Works on a Child’s Brain BOOK: Don’t Alienate the KidsBOOK: Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder ARTICLE: Does Ridicule Stop Alienation?ARTICLE: Child Alienation: “1000 Little Bricks”ARTICLE: Handling Alienation in New Ways for Families® Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:31) - Today's Topic (01:34) - Parental Alienation (06:30) - Neurons (09:00) - Ages 9-14 (17:09) - Why They Refuse Contact (21:58) - Pure Hatred (26:23) - Example (33:14) - Wrap Up (34:24) - Reminders

12/15/2022

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36 min
May 14

When It's Not Your Fault: Blame, Backlash, and Setting Limits

When a high conflict person says it's all your fault, most reasonable people do something predictable — they start wondering what they did wrong. That instinct toward self-reflection is healthy in most relationships. With high conflict people, it becomes a trap. Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, unpack why high conflict personalities blame with an intensity that triggers your brain's threat-detection system — and why that intensity is precisely what makes you absorb guilt that isn't yours. They cover how to reality-test yourself when the blame lands hard, what to expect when you finally set a limit, and how to sit with the backlash without retreating into self-doubt. It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM. Full Show Notes & Resources Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | Website Watch this episode on YouTube Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:43) - It’s NOT Your Fault (02:22) - Why Do HCPs Blame? (07:00) - Absorbing Guilt (13:31) - Example (17:36) - Setting Limits and Potential Backlash (19:28) - Why HCPs Escalate (24:20) - Grow Used to Uncomfortable Feelings (26:29) - Knowing When It’s Not Safe (28:28) - Key Takeaways (29:27) - Wrap Up

May 14

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31 min
12/03/2022

Yes, And—Improvisation & Creativity in Conflict Communication with Guest Kelly Leonard of The Second City

The Second City – where countless actors and comedians got their start. They’ve been bringing the funny for over 60 years. Now the first name in improve and comedy, they’ve expanded well beyond the stage and into business, wellness, education and so much more. Kelly Leonard, Executive Director of Learning and Applied Improvisation at The Second City, joins Bill and Megan in this episode to talk about improvisation, creativity, and whether and how it can be used in conflict communication – especially in high conflict interactions. For over twenty years, he oversaw Second City’s live theatrical divisions working with such talent as Tina Fey, Stephen Colbert, Amy Poehler, Seth Meyers, Steve Carrell, and others. In this episode, we’ll talk about: Kelly’s book, Yes, Andimprovisation and creativity beyond the stageallowing anything to be on the tabledifferences between creativity and innovationallowing yourself to be a human beingthe effect of the body on the brain and anxiety (he’ll talk about what can be seen on an MRI when a smile is involved)so much moreLinks & Other Notes: KELLY’S BOOKYes, And: How Improvisation Reverses "No, But" Thinking and Improves Creativity and Collaboration--Lessons from The Second CityKELLY’S PODCAST"Getting to Yes, And"KELLY’S TEDxBroadwayTalkEmbrace Your FailuresKELLY’S COURSESThe Second CityOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:17) - Meet Kelly Leonard (08:08) - Yes! And... (11:16) - Using It in Conflict Situations (14:32) - Times to Not 'Yes And' (17:18) - Thank You, Because... (18:50) - Avoiding Escalation (19:45) - Humor, Surprise, Delight (20:27) - Why Improv? (25:48) - The Science (35:43) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Jackhammer Parents

12/03/2022

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37 min
Mar 19

"Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults" with Caroline Maguire

If you've ever given everything to a friendship and been left wondering what went wrong, Caroline Maguire has a gentle but clarifying answer: you probably gave too much, too soon, to someone who hadn't yet earned it. That's not a character flaw — it's the ADHD brain doing what it does when it finally finds someone who sees it. The dopamine hit of new connection can tip straight into hyperfocus, and suddenly you're all-in on a relationship that hasn't had time to prove itself. Caroline calls it the impulsive friendship cycle, and she has spent years helping neurodivergent adults find their way out of it. Caroline is a social emotional learning expert, ADHD coach, and author of the award-winning Why Will No One Play With Me. Her new book, Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults, arrives April 14th — and it's not another book that asks you to fix yourself to fit a friendship model built for someone else's social battery. Instead, she starts with a reframe that carries the whole conversation: our friendship struggles are not a personal failing. They're a neurological mismatch between the way we were taught to connect and the way our brains actually work. In this conversation, we dig into the masking vs. adapting distinction that has already sparked significant conversation in our Discord community — including what makes the difference between reading a room and suppressing yourself entirely. Caroline walks us through the ice cream scoop method for building trust slowly, what "emerging friend" means and why it matters, how to troubleshoot a friendship before you decide it's over, and the unmasking story she never expected to tell — including the moment Ned Hallowell called her out on a mask she didn't know she was wearing. This episode is part of our ongoing relationships series, and it may be the most practical and personally honest conversation we've had in it yet. The book is available for pre-order now, with bonus resources, at any major bookseller. Links & Notes Caroline MaguireSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:51) - Introducing Caroline Maguire (03:19) - Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults (15:48) - Adapting versus Masking (28:35) - Over-extending "Friendship" (41:32) - About the Book ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Mar 19

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44 min
Apr 16

Why Your Child Absorbs Your Emotions

In high conflict divorce, children don’t just witness a parent’s distress—they absorb it, often without knowing where the feeling is coming from. Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explain the brain science behind emotional contagion, why it can quietly build a child’s resistance to the healthier parent, and what that parent can do about it. From holding the schedule steady under emotional pressure, to teaching the four big skills for life, to naming emotions out loud to reduce their intensity—this episode gives parents practical tools they can use inside their own home starting today. Resources from this episode:BOOKS Don't Alienate the KidsBIFF for CoParent CommunicationCOURSES & CLASSES FOR PARENTS Conflict Influencer™ ClassNew Ways for Families Class + Coaching (for parents)Resistance, Refusal and the Child’s BrainARTICLE 7 Ways Children’s Brains Absorb Their Parent's’ Emotions in Divorce (And What You Can Do About It)TRAINING Professional Organizational Training: info@highconflictinstitute.com Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | WebsiteWatch this episode on YouTube!Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:51) - Update (04:18) - Children Absorbing Their Parents’ Emotions (10:16) - What’s Happening (15:55) - Dad’s Options (17:41) - Setting Up Emotional Responses (20:21) - Parental Awareness and Roles (29:55) - Wrap Up

Apr 16

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33 min
May 7

What to Look For in a Planning Tool

There's a moment every ADHDer knows: you open the task manager, see the sea of red, and close it again. This week, Nikki and Pete sit with that moment — and with what it's actually telling you. The instinct is to blame the tool. Something's wrong with the app, the planner, the notebook. Time for something new. But what if the tool is doing exactly what it's supposed to do, and the thing you're really avoiding is something else entirely? Nikki walks through the two non-negotiables of any planning toolkit, why hybrid systems quietly fall apart in the in-between stages, and the one thing she asks every new one-on-one client to do within a week. Pete confesses to running four systems at once, lays out his tool-finding intestines on the table (his words, not ours), and makes the case for why your app isn't just an app — it's a lifeline. Plus: FOBO, task rot, the moral weight of a few simple minutes, and why the best tools are the ones that ask you to pay for them. Stick around for Nikki's brand-new download, Your Planning Tool Finder — a short guide to the questions worth answering before you pick your next tool. Link below. Links & Notes Your Planning Tool Finder (free download)Unapologetically ADHD by Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer — the book behind the frameworkGPS Planning Membership — Nikki's coaching community for planning, capture, and workflowSupport the show on Patreon — early ad-free episodes, livestream recordings, members-only Discord: (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:44) - Patreon.com/TheADHDPodcast (02:34) - Talking Tools ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

May 7

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36 min

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