Leadership isn't just about the version of you that shows up in the boardroom. It's also about the five-year-old who learned to stay quiet. The teenager who decided vulnerability wasn't safe. The part of you that craves connection. The part that's terrified of rejection. Whether we realize it or not, every version of ourselves comes into every conversation, every conflict, every decision, and every relationship. In this deeply personal conversation, executive coach Sarah Failla joins Josh and Patrick to explore Internal Family Systems (IFS), paradox, trauma, coaching, nervous systems, and why becoming a better leader starts with understanding yourself. Along the way, the conversation moves far beyond leadership into marriage, parenting, personal growth, healing, purpose, and even Sarah's remarkable kidney transplant story. If you've ever wondered why you react the way you do (or why growth can feel so difficult), this episode offers language, compassion, and practical ways to move forward. In This Episode * How childhood experiences quietly shape your leadership today * The surprising difference between therapy, coaching, and consulting * How your nervous system affects every difficult conversation * Tips for recognizing when you're operating from an old wound instead of your present self * The power of saying "part of me feels..." instead of "I am..." * Paradox can create freedom instead of confusion ("both can be true") * How emotional regulation transforms marriages, parenting, and teams * The hidden cost of ignoring your body * Sarah's powerful kidney transplant journey and what it taught her about surrender, healing, and receiving help * Why joy is often harder to experience than grief * How identity, not goals, is what creates lasting change Resources Mentioned: * No Bad Parts by Richard C. Schwartz - https://ifs-institute.com/nobadparts * Positive Intelligence by Shirzad Chamine - https://positiveintelligence.com/ * CliftonStrengths - https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/403127/cliftonstrengths-34-report.aspx * Myers-Briggs Assessments - https://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/ * Atomic Habits by James Clear - https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits Timestamps 00:00 — Why "AND" changes the way we think about leadership 02:00 — Understanding paradox and how two things can be true at once 05:20 — Internal Family Systems explained: the "parts" inside all of us 13:40 — Trauma, younger selves, and why our reactions make sense 24:30 — Executive coaching that focuses on the whole person 29:00 — What somatic coaching is and why your body "remembers" 34:00 — Creating healthier conversations in teams and families 39:00 — Expanding your "window of tolerance" 43:30 — Therapy vs. coaching: what's the difference? 52:00 — Celebrating the men who are quietly doing the work 01:24:00 — Sarah's kidney transplant story and what healing really looked like 01:40:00 — Surrendering outcomes while still pursuing growth 01:57:00 — Joy, identity, and becoming who you want to be 02:16:00 — Why Lighthouse coaching works differently About Lighthouse Institute Lighthouse Institute exists to shine light that ignites connection, inspires hope, and transforms generations. Through leadership development, coaching, facilitation, and organizational training, Lighthouse helps individuals and teams grow in self-awareness, communication, trust, ownership, and leadership effectiveness. The Leadership, And... podcast explores leadership through the lens of real life: work, parenting, marriage, conflict, purpose, growth, and everything in between. 👉 SUBSCRIBE for more conversations about leadership, parenting, relationships, conflict, growth, and the human side of leadership. 👉 SHARE this episode with someone who's doing the work of becoming a better human and a better leader. Let's Go Shine Bright ✨
