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  • 246 We Opened up Too Fast. What Do We Do Now?

    4 days ago

    1

    246 We Opened up Too Fast. What Do We Do Now?

    The phrase "we opened up too fast" comes up a lot in the conversations we have with people who are transitioning from monogamy to non-monogamy. But what does "too fast" even mean? And more importantly—too fast for whom? Here's the thing: once you've crossed certain thresholds in opening up, there's no going back to a state of unknowing. You can't unsee what you've seen or unknow what you've learned about yourself, your partner, and your relationship. This can feel scary, but it's also where some of the most profound growth happens. In this episode, we talk about: — Why "too fast" is really about thresholds, not speed — How foiled expectations drive so much of our dysregulation in the opening process — The difference between pacing that allows for skill-building versus holding so still that you never actually learn anything — Why differentiation work matters just as much (if not more) than the logistics of who you're dating — The power of imaginal work — How to recognize when you're objectifying potential partners (couples privilege on steroids) and why that's a sign that you might not be ready yet — The reality that monogamy skills don't all transfer to non-monogamy, but non-monogamy skills work everywhere — Why learning resilience and repair skills is more important than getting everything "right" the first time — The profound relief that comes from increased self-knowledge, even when relationships end — How educational community and mentorship can provide the support that makes all the difference Resources mentioned in this episode: — Our Neuro-Somatic Intelligence Essentials Playlist — Our Nervous System Playlist JOIN The Year Of Opening® community for a full year of learning & support Learn the 5 secrets to open your relationship the smart way Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com Get the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! Sign up for an Ask Me Anything here Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions

    4 days ago

    •
    53 min
  • Dating From Confidence, Not Loneliness | Closure, Platonic Boundaries & Fast Love Red Flags

    23 Feb

    2

    Dating From Confidence, Not Loneliness | Closure, Platonic Boundaries & Fast Love Red Flags

    Sponsor: Cozy Earth Use code GREENFLAG for up to 20 percent off at 👉 https://www.cozyearth.com In this episode of Dear Tisia, we’re unpacking what happens when growth forces you to date differently — when silence is clarity, and when fast love might be the real red flag. 🌆 One woman is moving to Columbus for her dream job — big raise, fresh start, new city. But she’s self-aware enough to admit she’s dated from loneliness before. Now she wants to build love from confidence, not isolation. And with her income rising, she’s asking: is it fair to require a man to match her financially? 📞 Another caller felt chemistry and alignment — until one phone call revealed dismissiveness and subtle disrespect. Now she’s wondering: does she owe him an explanation… or is quiet detachment enough? 🤝 And we talk about platonic friendships with men. Is it realistic to expect genuine male friends without romantic undertones? Or are blurred lines inevitable without intentional boundaries? ✨ This episode is about discernment, emotional clarity, and building a foundation before romance becomes your whole support system. 🚩 In the Red Flag Report, we unpack the breakup of Cardi B and Stefon Diggs — a relationship that escalated quickly, went public fast, and ended just as dramatically. When a relationship moves from hard launch to heartbreak in under a year… was the red flag the breakup? Or how quickly everything accelerated before the foundation had time to stabilize? And if you’re no longer with someone but still fiercely protecting them… is that maturity — or unfinished attachment? 👇 Let’s talk about it.

    23 Feb

    •
    41 min
  • X-RATED: He said I got chlamydia from GOD...

    26 May ·  Video

    3

    X-RATED: He said I got chlamydia from GOD...

    Buckle up and strap in, hussies, because X-RATED is BACK!!! We're in for a wild ride this week as the girls play their new word game and our Sarahs admit to sending spicy texts to the wrong recipient... imagine sending a nude to the family group chat... MORTIFYING! Sophia and Cinzia try to solve your dilemmas, from one Sarah being unable to reach her pinnacle with her Brian, to another Sarah not even being able to take her PJ top off before the deed was done. Oh, and apparently, according to one Brian, you can get chlamydia from GOD!!! New episodes every Wednesday! Email us your dilemma at hello@thegirlsbathroom.com Follow us on instagram @thegirlsbathroom Join us on Patreon for an extra ep every week!! https://www.patreon.com/TheGirlsBathroom Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    26 May · Video

    •
    1hr 1min
  • A Love Story 18 Years in the Making

    09/07/2025

    4

    A Love Story 18 Years in the Making

    Lischele and Derrick met in college back in 2000. They clicked instantly but never dated. Life took them in different directions. They both married other people, started families, and kept in touch only occasionally over the years. Then, in 2018, a birthday message reopened the door. What followed was a long-distance relationship filled with emotional growth, missed signals, and second chances. In this episode, they share how they built something lasting the second time around and what it was about the timing that finally made it work. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    09/07/2025

    •
    33 min
  • 8 Years Later: Love, Growth & the Beauty of Becoming ✨

    25 May

    5

    8 Years Later: Love, Growth & the Beauty of Becoming ✨

    8 years. Countless memories. Endless lessons. Still choosing each other every day ❤️✨ Season 3 of KanuLove launches TODAY on our anniversary 🥹🎙️ and this first episode is deeply personal. We’re reflecting on: 💍 what 8 years of marriage has taught us ❤️ how we’ve grown individually and together ✨ the symbol behind the 8th year of marriage (and why it’s SO meaningful!) 🎙️ what we’re still building together To our Kanulovers… thank you for rocking with us. We’ve truly missed being behind the mic together 🫶🏾 Season 3 starts NOW 🚀 🎧 Link in bio! #KanuLove #BlackLovePodcast #MarriageReflections #BlackCouplesMatter #LoveInAction #RelationshipGoals #AnniversaryVibes #PodcastLaunch #BlackFamily #Season3

    25 May

    •
    1hr 1min
  • 245 Check-Ins That Actually Work

    23 May

    6

    245 Check-Ins That Actually Work

    Regular relationship check-ins might sound boring (maybe even like homework), but here's the thing: they're not just maintenance, they're the architecture that holds everything together. Most people either skip them entirely, do them inconsistently, or turn them into overwhelming marathon sessions that feel more like crisis management than connection. And if you’re only having check-ins when there’s a problem, you might be training your body to dread a foundational part of healthy intimacy. That's exactly why we need to talk about this unglamorous but absolutely essential topic. In this episode, we talk about: — Why relationship check-ins are more than just meetings — The difference between relationship hygiene and crisis management — How to customize check-ins for your specific relationship phase, structure, and needs — The problem of relationship administration falling to one perso n, and how to share that labor more equitably — Why daily stand-ups worked for us during chaotic parenting years but monthly deep dives work better now — The different types of check-ins and their use cases — The critical importance of context and container — Why 2,700 texts don't replace an actual connective meeting — How to use check-ins as a way to feel pursued and seen, not just to solve problems — The power of parking lot items and knowing there's always another check-in coming — Practical tips to make check-ins smoother, easier, and more effective — The meta-conversation: checking in about how you check in — Why you need both scheduled check-ins and the flexibility for ad-hoc meetings when something's on fire Resources mentioned in this episode: — The Multiamory Podcast's RADAR format for relationship check-ins — Episode 224: Relationship Anarchy with Dr. Nicole Thompson JOIN The Year Of Opening® community for a full year of learning & support Learn the 5 secrets to open your relationship the smart way Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com Get the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! Sign up for an Ask Me Anything here Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions

    23 May

    •
    41 min
  • Passport To Purpose (Guest: Kemoy Martin)

    22 Apr

    7

    Passport To Purpose (Guest: Kemoy Martin)

    What if the journey you take to find purpose is the very path that leads you to love? In this powerful episode, Kemoy Martin shares how stepping outside of his comfort zone—and outside of his country—became the catalyst for discovering who he truly is. What started as a pursuit of purpose turned into something deeper: a revelation that love isn’t just something you find in a person, but something you uncover within yourself along the way. Through travel, risk, and radical faith, Kemoy opens up about the moments that challenged him, stretched him, and ultimately aligned his heart with both purpose and love. This conversation will make you question whether you’ve been searching in the right places—or if your next step of obedience is the very thing that will change everything. Because sometimes… your passport isn’t just stamped for travel. It’s stamped for transformation. CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST https://www.instagram.com/kemoy_martin CONNECT WITH OUR HOSTS https://www.instagram.com/laterrasrwhitfield https://www.instagram.com/ashleyrwhitfield ORDER LATERRAS R. WHITFIELD'S NEW BOOK "STUDENT OF LOVE" https://www.StudentofLove.com WANNA SEE BEHIND-THE-SCENES FOOTAGE? JOIN MY PATREON https://www.Patreon.com/laterrasrwhitfield SIGN UP FOR THE MAILING LIST https://bit.ly/LRWconnection PURCHASE "YOU (Dear Future Wifey)" Theme Song http://itunes.apple.com/album/id/1729993404 👑 SUPPORT OUR CAUSE Donate to Kingdom Royale: Empowering foster kids to become royalty: https://www.KingdomRoyale.com 👕 MERCH https://www.DearFutureWifey.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    22 Apr

    •
    1hr 23min
  • Building a Strong Relationship with Kittie Rose

    04/09/2024

    8

    Building a Strong Relationship with Kittie Rose

    Grab a pencil because Ms. Iyanla is taking us to relationship school! Certified relationship coach Kittie Rose joins the show to explore the essential building blocks of strong and lasting relationships. Kittie shares her expertise by identifying harmful relationship behaviors and offering practical, actionable advice based on previous episode topics to help listeners improve their relationships. You can follow Coach Kittie at @kittiejrose Do you want to be on the podcast? Follow Iyanla on social media for the latest call-in information! Instagram & X: @IyanlaVanzantFacebook: @DrIyanlaVanzant See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    04/09/2024

    •
    52 min
  • True to Yourself: FloridaManJayy Explores Identity, Trans Attraction, and Black Queer Culture

    21 May

    9

    True to Yourself: FloridaManJayy Explores Identity, Trans Attraction, and Black Queer Culture

    What does it mean to navigate Black queer culture on your own terms? In the latest episode of the Dear Black Gay Men Podcast, host Jai The Gentleman sits down with YouTube content creator Florida Man Jayy for a raw, b******t-free conversation that challenges the boundaries of traditional labels. From discussing his viral storytime “My First Trans Encounter” to opening up about his journey with therapy and healthy experimentation, Florida Man J brings a level of unfiltered self-awareness that is hard to find online. Redefining the Labels While Florida Man Jayy lives a largely heteronormative lifestyle and is romantically attracted to women, he proudly identifies as bisexual and considers “queer” the best descriptor for his unique journey. “I don’t really put myself in a box... I’m me. That’s the best way I can put it.” — Florida Man Jayy He dives deep into what it’s like to balance his attraction to trans women with his sexual experiences with cis men, viewing the latter as a form of mutual masturbation rather than romantic connection. The episode also addresses the stereotypes he faces, including how some spaces try to reduce his entire identity to a fetishized commodity. Accountability, Grace, and Growth The conversation gets real about the pressures within Black gay culture. Florida Man J shares his experiences feeling alienated by certain cultural expectations and calls out the unnecessary toxicity that can sometimes dominate online spaces. Yet, the core theme remains one of mutual respect, learning, and humanizing the trans experience. As a community, this episode reminds us that there isn’t just one way to be queer. You don’t have to fit into a perfect box or “duck walk” to belong—your truth is enough. Tune In Now! * Watch & Subscribe: Catch the full, dynamic episode on the Dear Black Gay Men YouTube Channel. * Support Queer Stories: Dive into exclusive content and join the community conversation on Substack. * Follow the Guest: Check out Florida Man Jayy’s Sexy Jutsu Podcast and stream his music on Spotify and iTunes. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearblackgaymen.substack.com/subscribe

    21 May

    •
    1hr 5min
  • You Move Too Fast EP:98

    10/11/2024

    10

    You Move Too Fast EP:98

    On this episode we talk about pacing yourself when dated to give yourself time to see exactly who someone is. It is no benefit to us to move fast when taking our time could not only lead to the same results but more than likely better results. Pacing your love because not everyone deserves it and sometimes we have so much of it to give too much of our love to people who are only there to use us up. Taking your time when your dating and getting to know someone and asking yourself what is being invested in this dating phase Is it just quality time? Conversation? Romance? Is it consideration and thoughtfulness Is it being intentional ? What have they communicated that they are looking for or what their intentions are when with dating?

    10/11/2024

    •
    24 min

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