Notice That

Jen Savage and Bridger Falkenstien

An EMDR Podcast

  1. 12 hr ago

    Burnout, Money, and Visibility with Lilly Risch | Notice That

    Most of us were trained well to sit with someone in the worst hour of their life. Almost none of us were trained to price that hour, or to tell anyone we're available for it. Lilly Risch, an EMDR therapist, group practice owner, EMDR approved consultant, and business coach for EMDR therapists, spent seven years in child welfare intake before a staff psychologist told her there was no option left but to quit. What she found on the other side wasn't a better system. It was a question she now asks every therapist she works with: what identity would you have to let go of in order to build a different life? Bridger joins her in it. He talks about the counseling program that told him the field didn't need more boutique private practices, about the first two years of his own practice at fifty clients a week, and about the stonemason father whose voice he still hears every time he raises his rate. Lilly names the conflict she has not resolved and does not pretend to have resolved: she runs a private pay practice, she believes that prices some people out of care, and she has done enough of her own work to hold that truth without collapsing under it. They stay in that tension for a long time without reaching for a tidy answer, because there isn't one, and because the not-talking-about-it is doing more damage than the conflict itself. Then the conversation turns toward visibility, which turns out to be the same conversation wearing different clothes. Why the word marketing makes clinicians flinch. Why the laminated card from a small-town mechanic outperforms an A/B tested content calendar. Why the therapist who says my friend would be better for you is not being humble. And what it costs a community when the people who actually know how to work with trauma are the hardest ones to find. What this episode is about Lilly Risch works at an intersection most EMDR consultants leave alone: the place where a therapist's business decisions and their clinical capacity meet. She came to it honestly. Seven years in child welfare intake left her, in her words, burnt crispy, and the staff psychologist who ran her screeners told her she had to quit. There was no other option on the table. What she built afterward is a group practice outside Milwaukee, an approved consultant practice, and a coaching business for EMDR therapists. What she teaches is not a road map. It's a question. Key themes Burnout is structural before it is personal. Lilly loved child welfare and loved the people she worked with. The work was still set up to produce exactly what it produced in her. Naming the structure is not an excuse, it's an accurate case conceptualization. Every practice transition is an identity transition. Moving from agency to private practice meant deconstructing the helper identity she'd been trained into on a child welfare stipend track, where private practice was never presented as an option at all. Bridger's program went further, framing private practice as a kind of defection. Neither of them was ever taught that they were about to run a business. The conflict does not resolve, and naming it beats pretending. Lilly runs a private pay practice and believes that prices some people out of care. She holds both without choosing one. She keeps a sliding scale slot, works with victim compensation, runs workshops. It is not a solution and she does not present it as one. Rate-setting is contextual, not moral. Whether a therapist's spouse works, what benefits they carry, what a market will hold, what the clinician needs in order to be fully present in the chair. A dollar amount doesn't carry a verdict on your character. Bridger's position: charge what will actually support you, then look honestly at the implications for your context. We all have a money story. Bridger's came from a blue collar family where a dentist was a luxury, moved through raising a painting rate from fifteen dollars an hour to twenty-five and feeling the nervous system register it, and still shows up as his father's voice every time he raises a fee. Visibility avoidance is clinical material. When a therapist won't build the website or do the outreach, Lilly asks what's getting in the way. The answer is usually some version of it's not supposed to be about me. Bridger names the cost of that belief inside the therapy hour: it omits half the room. Visibility does not mean Instagram. A newsletter. LinkedIn. Weekly coffee with a new therapist. Twice-yearly networking events. A free workshop at a PT office or a hair salon. A stack of note cards handed around a small town, which is what actually generated referrals for one of Bridger's consultees after she watched a mechanic's laminated flyer do the same thing. The platform and the work run on different nervous systems. Lilly names the whiplash of doing deep relational work and opening Instagram an hour later. Comparison reinforces I'm not good enough, which is a belief most therapists in this field are already carrying. Her answer has been boundaries: three posts a week, specific days off, an intention behind each post. What you can bring into your next session Run your own avoidance through a case conceptualization. What isn't getting done, and what's underneath it?Ask Lilly's sustainability question directly: what would sustainable look like, and what would have to change?Notice whose voice shows up when you consider a rate change. That voice has a history.If raising your rate feels like a betrayal, consider that it may also be a disconfirming experience, for you and sometimes for the client who sees you do it.Pick one visibility practice that matches what you actually like doing. The one you'll sustain beats the one that's optimized.Concepts, names, and resources mentioned Money story. Lilly's frame for the inherited beliefs about worth, labor, and asking that every clinician brings to their fee."Shaped like you, not shaped like me." A line from Bridger's Relational Thread essays that Lilly uses in her coaching. No plan fits every therapist, and no plan fits every client.Marketing Made Simple by Donald Miller. Lilly's recommendation for clinicians moving into this work. Its argument, roughly: smart people overcomplicate, and that's the problem.Jess Bruno. Lilly's UK-based content creator, who limits her to three posts a week and is on record about the algorithm.Peacefully Booked Out EMDR. Lilly's free monthly workshops.Overflow. Her group coaching membership for EMDR therapists, with two live calls a month.Iris Collective. Partner on a course launching in spring covering the business side, ethical marketing, burnout, compassion fatigue, and therapist identity. Why this episode matters The field trains clinicians to hold other people's worst hours and then leaves them alone with the question of how to survive doing it. That silence has a cost, and the cost is not only financial. It shows up as the therapist who quietly stops, and as the clients who lose them without warning. Lilly's last word on it is the one worth keeping: an abrupt end has an impact on our clients too. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  2. 4 Sept

    The Second Mirror: When the Session Went Well, and That's the Problem | The Relational Thread

    There's a session most of us have had. The thing underneath the thing finally gets said, the client stays with it, you stay with them, and the hour ends in that particular quiet neither of you wants to close. You write your note half thinking, this is why I do this. And then they cancel the next appointment. Our training supplies a reading for that: too much, too fast. Sometimes that's exactly right. Sometimes the breakthrough was a performance you built together without noticing. But there's a third possibility our field rarely names. Sometimes the session went well, and that's the problem. This week's essay is about the two mirrors. Every client walks in holding one they didn't choose, issued by the family, the marriage, the congregation, the workplace. It has a small vocabulary and it repeats: you're too sensitive; that's not what happened; after everything we've done for you. Then therapy starts working and the room becomes a second mirror, one where their needs are not too much and their perceptions count as real. The mirrors don't agree. And your client spends one hour a week in front of the second one, and the other 167 in front of the first. The new learning isn't fragile because the work has been shallow. It's outnumbered. This is the part after the slide deck ends: the client who carries a newly named need home and hears "isn't what we have enough?"; the client who gets worse because it's going well; the client who leaves, and why that isn't a failure. Along the way: what secondary gains gets right and what the word "resistant" hides; the silent contracts our clients unilaterally amend when the work works; and how a despair-shaped question, addressed to no one, can become a grief-shaped one, addressed to someone. Plus three practices for the middle of the work, starting with telling your client about the contrast before it arrives. A note: a short passage in the middle of this essay touches on suicidality. Take it at your own pace. Read the essay and subscribe (free, one essay a week): https://www.relationalthread.com/podcast?utm_source=nt&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=TRT_EssayNN_Therapists_Summer_2026 The Relational Thread grows from the forthcoming book EMDR and the Therapeutic Relationship: Reclaiming the Relational Thread (2027) by Bridger Falkenstien & Jen Savage: https://connectbeyondhealing.com/the-relational-thread/?utm_source=nt&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=relational_thread Notice That is an EMDR podcast for therapists, counselors, and social workers, hosted by Bridger Falkenstien and Jen Savage. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  3. 3 Sept

    Why EMDR Needs its Critics with Derek Farrell | Notes from the Hall

    Recorded at the EMDRIA Conference 2026 in Anaheim, this conversation from the Notice That podcast's Notes from the Hall series features Prof. Derek Farrell MBE — fresh off his keynote — on why Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy needs its critics. When a paper calls EMDR pseudoscience, do you argue back, ignore it, or ask "Where might you be right?" Derek chose the third option, and this episode is what that looks like. Prof. Derek Farrell MBE delivered one of the keynotes at the EMDRIA Conference 2026 and was part of the EMDRIA–MQ Mental Health Research funding process from start to finish; his research unit focuses on military and veteran populations. We talk about why this year's keynote deliberately continued last year's debate on adaptive information processing; whether EMDR is "a terrible name for a therapy" and what it would cost to change it; why randomized controlled trials move the dial and why that means investing in early-career researchers on a ten-to-fifteen-year horizon; the strange rules that get treated as law (a four-year-old, eye movements, and a rejected accreditation video); where qualitative and mixed-methods research fit in a field that runs on RCTs; the many narratives a client's partner can add to the one the client brings; what the EMDRIA–MQ funding actually is and isn't; why the answer to a research communication problem turned out to be podcasts; and the oak tree in a Cornwall biodome that fell because nothing had ever pushed back on it. Derek has been on Notice That before, this one picks up like a conversation between colleagues who've done this before. Notes from the Hall is a 26-episode series from the Notice That podcast, recorded on the floor of the EMDRIA Conference 2026 in Anaheim — a window into the largest gathering of EMDR therapists in the United States, for everyone who was there and everyone who couldn't be. Hosted by Bridger Falkenstien and Jen Savage. Produced by Beyond Healing Media. Explore the full series at connectbeyondhealing.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  4. 26 Aug

    "I Cannot Re-Member": On Estrangement, Relational Memory, and the Dance We Know | The Relational Thread

    There is a particular kind of grief in understanding someone you can no longer be close to in the same way. Sometimes not understanding would be easier; a villain simplifies grief. But many of us who find ourselves estranged from someone we love are left with something far more complicated. We understand. This is Jen's first essay for The Relational Thread, and it's about that grief. In close relationships we don't simply learn things about one another, we learn choreography. Relational memory is the implicit knowing carried forward from repeated experience: what closeness requires, what conflict predicts, what shape we need to take to preserve connection. With enough repetition, those adaptations stop feeling like strategies at all. They simply feel like who we are. One child learns to disappear. Another learns to perform. Some of us learn to rescue. The essay follows what happens when one person stops taking the familiar step — how the relationship begins reaching for the old version of you, because that is the version it knows — and how the question of estrangement becomes something more subtle than whether you want someone in your life: who do I have to become for this relationship to continue in its familiar form? It ends with a poem about the difference between recalling who we once had to be and "re-membering": gathering those fractured pieces of myself back into the shape that once made the relationship possible. Understanding someone's pain is not the same as organizing your life around it. Distance does not require a loss of empathy. And another person's pain can move us without becoming an instruction. Read the essay and subscribe (free, one essay a week): https://www.relationalthread.com/podcast?utm_source=nt&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=TRT_EssayNN_Therapists_Summer_2026 The Relational Thread grows from the forthcoming book EMDR and the Therapeutic Relationship: Reclaiming the Relational Thread (2027) by Bridger Falkenstien & Jen Savage: https://connectbeyondhealing.com/the-relational-thread/?utm_source=nt&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=relational_thread Notice That is an EMDR podcast for therapists, counselors, and social workers, hosted by Bridger Falkenstien and Jen Savage. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  5. 26 Aug

    Permission to Be a Funky Therapist with Jennifer Bohle (Jennifer Ann Counseling) | Notes from the Hall

    Recorded at the EMDRIA Conference 2026 in Anaheim, this conversation from the Notice That podcast's Notes from the Hall series features Jennifer Bohle of Jennifer Ann Counseling (@jenniferanncounseling) on what happens when the therapist half the internet follows walks into a building full of colleagues who recognize her. A few years ago she attended her first EMDRIA conference unnoticed; this year she was approached the moment she walked into the lobby. Jennifer is a trauma therapist and content creator behind Jennifer Ann Counseling, and the creator of Permission to Post, a course helping therapists show up authentically on camera. Find her at @jenniferanncounseling. We talk about her first podcast ever (on Notice That), staying yourself when everyone wants a moment with you, "embracing the cringe," what it takes to make personality-driven therapist content ethically, and the intention she set walking into the conference, one worth borrowing at any training: be kind to yourself first. This episode opens with a short introduction to the series. Notes from the Hall is a 26-episode series from the Notice That podcast, recorded on the floor of the EMDRIA Conference 2026 in Anaheim; a window into the largest gathering of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapists in the United States, for everyone who was there and everyone who couldn't be. Hosted by Bridger Falkenstien and Jen Savage. Produced by Beyond Healing Media. Explore the full series at connectbeyondhealing.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  6. 15 Aug

    When the Session Stops Being About the Target: Working with Enactments in EMDR | The Relational Thread

    Somebody taught you what to do when a client gets activated, when they dissociate, when the SUD won't move. Nobody taught you what to do when the thing happening is between the two of you. This is the practical one. After two essays arguing that the relational field is where the work lives, "The Two Channels" is what Bridger actually does when a pattern surfaces in the room: offering the client a choice out loud between working it in the world or working it between us — and why saying that menu out loud changed his practice more than picking correctly ever did. Also in here: reciprocal dual attention — the second pair of timelines the therapist is holding while the client holds theirs; a whiteboard, a bell curve, and why making an enactment slightly ridiculous makes it survivable; saying a thing in its sharpest form on purpose, with a warning label; the past-present-past rhythm; and the one question to lean on once the conceptualization is finally shared. Read the essay and subscribe (free, one essay a week): https://www.relationalthread.com/podcast?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=TRT_Essay06_Therapists_Summer_2026 The Relational Thread grows from the forthcoming book EMDR and the Therapeutic Relationship: Reclaiming the Relational Thread (2027) by Bridger Falkenstien & Jen Savage. Reciprocal dual attention developed with Jen Savage and Caleb Boston as part of Enactment-Focused EMDR. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  7. 15 Aug

    Inside EMDRIA: Standards, Community, and the Plane We're Building Together with Viviana Urdaneta | Notice That

    Most of us meet EMDRIA as a set of requirements. Consultation hours, credentialing pathways, standards documents that arrive in the inbox already decided. That impression is fair, and it is incomplete. This week Viviana Urdaneta Melo, Deputy Executive Director of the EMDR International Association, joins us to put faces and reasoning behind the acronym. Viviana came to this work by an unusual road. Born in Colombia, she trained as an electronic engineer and kept noticing that she spent her volunteer hours with children and families rather than with circuits. Three degrees later — engineering, a Master of Divinity, and clinical social work — she found EMDR during her internship by sitting in on another clinician's sessions and watching what happened. She trained in 2011, worked with survivors of sexual assault and intimate partner violence at a domestic violence center and later in university mental health, became certified and then a consultant, chaired EMDRIA's inclusion task force during the pandemic, and joined staff in 2021. Her account of what changed when she moved from member to insider is quietly disarming: mostly, she kept discovering resources the organization had already built that she had never known existed. The heart of the conversation is the consultant standards. Viviana walks through how they were actually made, through focus groups, member surveys, and a read of the consultation literature, and what the three consultant roles mean in practice: educator, motivator, evaluator. She draws the line most clinicians blur, between the clinical path toward certification and the educational path toward consulting and training, and offers a metaphor for consultation worth keeping. Helping a therapist develop is like helping someone fly a kite. There are steps. There is also the wind that day. Along the way: why the association runs both a virtual summit and an in-person conference, what the IDEA framework has changed about how EMDRIA builds everything from toolkits to slide templates, the UPSIDE program that turned out to be less about money than about connection, and an image of a 20,000-member organization that is honest about still building the plane in flight. In this episode Viviana Urdaneta Melo, LCSW-S, CAE, is Deputy Executive Director of the EMDR International Association. She is also a Colombian-born former electronic engineer, an EMDRIA Certified Therapist and Approved Consultant, and a clinician who has spent her career with survivors of sexual assault and intimate partner violence. She joins the hosts to do something the show has wanted to do for a while now: give EMDRIA a voice instead of an outline. What comes through is an organization of seventeen people making decisions for twenty thousand, in the open, and mostly by asking. Key themes From engineering to the therapy room to the association. Viviana volunteered with children and families while working as an engineer in Colombia and noticed where her attention actually went. She came to the U.S. to study, met EMDR during her social work internship by sitting in on a clinician's sessions, and trained in 2011. She sees continuity rather than three careers. Engineers solve problems. Clinicians accompany people toward solving their own. Associations gather people so problems can be worked at a scale no one manages alone. As she puts it, association comes from associating. The institution people imagine. The hosts name the thing directly. EMDRIA gets held as a kind of big brother, an entity with opinions about your work. The correction is almost funny in its scale: seventeen staff, distributed across U.S. time zones, serving a membership that has passed twenty thousand. There is no skyscraper. The resources you already have. Viviana's most consistent experience on joining staff was discovering things EMDRIA had already built. She names the reason without judgment. Clinicians look for material when a specific client puts the need in front of them, which is exactly when it is hardest to search. The EMDRIA Library exists to close that gap. What membership is actually for. Asked to make the case, Viviana declines the obvious answer and goes to the pillars instead: pursuing excellence through professional development, and building connection. Toolkits that break large concepts into pieces a clinician can adapt. Go With That magazine for practice-level tips. The journal. Events, online communities, the people who think about this work the way you do. She adds, with good humor, that we all do need CEs. Zoom in, zoom out. Therapists zoom in. They sit with one person in a vulnerable moment and, in Viviana's framing of EMDR, get to be the first witness while the client's own brain leads. She calls this sacred work. The association's job is to zoom out and resource the people resourcing those therapists — consultants, trainers, supervisors — so the zooming-in can hold. How the consultant standards were actually built. This is the section to send to anyone who experienced the rollout as rules from above. Focus groups. Member surveys. A review of what the consultation literature already knew. The output is a floor, not a ceiling: the minimum the community itself named as necessary. Viviana's defense of standards is disarmingly ordinary. We all use traffic lights, because we know we need guidelines in community. Educator, motivator, evaluator. The three roles the standards name. Educators share knowledge and strategy. Motivators encourage a consultee toward the processing they would rather avoid, which Viviana treats as a normal and human tendency rather than a failing. Evaluators provide accountability through feedback. The roles are complementary, not a sequence. One host names the fear underneath honestly: consultees hear evaluator and brace for a verdict on whether they are good enough, and every piece of old education pain comes with it. Holding all three roles at once is what makes the work generative instead of frightening. Two paths, not one ladder. The clinical path moves toward certification and deepening skill with clients. The educational path moves toward consulting and training, which is teaching. Both require clinical skill. They are not the same discipline, and the question after certification is not automatically "when do I become a consultant." It is which path you want, and what intentionality that path asks of you. The kite. Viviana's image for consultation. There are steps for getting a kite in the air and you can teach them. It still depends on the wind that day, and you change what you are doing as you go. So does the therapist with a client. So does the consultant with a therapist. IDEA, and what it changed. Inclusion, Diversity, Equity, and Access, adopted about five years ago as language people could actually remember. What matters is where it shows up: speaker applications ask presenters how they have considered it, and EMDRIA's presentation template exists because it was checked against accessibility patterns for vision and neurological impairments. Viviana connects it back to the room. We do not hand a client a plan; we ask their goals and work toward them. Consultees and trainees deserve the same. She is candid that access is never finished. UPSIDE, and the surprise inside it. The EMDRIA Foundation's Uplifting Populations Support Initiative — Delivering EMDR supports clinicians working with communities facing structural barriers, including therapists of color, LGBTQ+ clinicians, and clinicians with disabilities, in reaching certification and consultant credentials. The financial aid was the design. The connection turned out to be the point. Monthly peer consultation groups formed, and consultants sought the program out because they wanted to learn alongside people whose clinical worlds differ from their own. Why both a virtual summit and an in-person conference. After the pandemic the honest question was whether to keep the virtual event at all. The answer came from watching who showed up. Different learners want different rooms, and so do presenters — some want to walk through clinical video side by side in person, others prefer the virtual format. The 2025 in-person conference had to close registration early. Building the plane in flight. Viviana's own metaphor for running a 20,000-member organization, offered without defensiveness. Some stretches fly smooth. Some do not, and not every issue can get attention at once. Her standing invitation: if we are doing well, tell us, and if there is something to improve, tell us that too. Inside the conference. Proposals grew from roughly 100 to 140 in a year, reviewed by member volunteers who are not presenting. Sessions span the standard framework, applications, innovations, integrations, and research — with an explicit interest in where an integration fits and where it does not. There is a deliberate push to help clinicians become better consumers of research, a skill Viviana notes most of us got little of in graduate school. Sessions are kept shorter on purpose, a menu rather than a meal, so you can find where you want to go deeper. And the small things are engineered: a community wall, a community puzzle, exhibitor tables, all of it built so people talk to each other. Practical clinical takeaways (what you can bring into your next session — and your next consultation hour) Before you pursue CIT hours, sit with the actual question. Do you want to deepen your clinical skill, or do you want to teach? Both are legitimate. They ask different things of you, and treating the second as the automatic sequel to the first is how consultants end up in a role they never chose.If you consult, name all three roles to your consultees out loud in the first session. Most people arrive braced for evaluation only. Telling them you are also there to educate and to motivate changes what they are willing to bring you.Take the kite seriously as a supervision frame. Teach the steps, a

  8. 7 Aug

    Why the SUD Stalls at a Two: Plato's Cave, Target Selection, and Relational Trauma | The Relational Thread

    You prepped the target properly. You ran it clean. The SUD came down — and then stopped at a two, and stayed there. Most of us were taught to call that ecological and move on. This essay offers another possibility, by way of a cave. Using Plato's allegory — and then breaking with it in two specific places — it argues that EMDR has become extraordinarily good at working with what is easiest to point at, and that we have mistaken what is easiest to operationalize for what is most explanatory. The target memory is real and the SUD is real; the question is what's casting them. Along the way: why every negative cognition is a storybook of relationships, why going further back in the float-back is not the same as turning around, the difference between chronological depth and organizational depth, and why the residue at a two is usually relational incoherence rather than failure. Plus four things to try on Tuesday. Read the essay and subscribe (free, one essay a week): https://www.relationalthread.com/podcast?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=TRT_Essay05_Therapists_Summer_2026 The Relational Thread grows from the forthcoming book EMDR and the Therapeutic Relationship: Reclaiming the Relational Thread (2027) by Bridger Falkenstien & Jen Savage. Content note: this episode includes a clinical illustration involving working with a sexual assault survivor, at roughly the midpoint. Mentioned: Plato, Republic Book VII; Julia Kristeva. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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