If you feel stuck in tantrums, power struggles, or constant “do this / don’t do that”… this shifts how you see it completely Most parenting advice focuses on fixing behavior, timeouts, consequences, sticker charts, but what if that’s the very thing keeping you stuck? In this conversation, we unpack why common tools like rewards and punishments often lead to more resistance, more meltdowns, and less real cooperation over time. If your toddler refuses to listen, pushes boundaries, or seems “unmotivated” unless there’s a reward, this will help you understand what’s actually driving their behavior, and what to do instead when you’re overwhelmed in the moment. What You’ll Learn: Why rewards and punishments often create short-term compliance but long-term struggles What’s really happening underneath “bad behavior” (and how to respond to it) How to shift from control-based parenting to connection-based cooperation A simple mindset shift that reduces power struggles immediately What to focus on instead of “getting your child to listen” This approach is grounded in developmental psychology and decades of research on motivation, behavior, and parent-child relationships. It’s not about being permissive or “letting things go,” it’s about understanding your child deeply enough that you don’t have to rely on control in the first place. When you shift the goal from obedience to long-term growth, your responses start to change in a way that actually works. If you’re tired of second-guessing yourself in hard moments, and you want a clearer, calmer way to handle tantrums, defiance, and everyday struggles, this is exactly what we focus on here. Subscribe so parenting starts to feel more manageable, and you feel more confident in what you’re doing, even on the hard days. Here's a link to Alfie Kohn's book: Unconditional Parenting: Moving From Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason Send us Fan Mail Support the show Links to help you and me: To support the Podcast, Subscribe on SubstackGet Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation GamesGet Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings FreeFollow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Youtube
