The Imperfects

Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
The Imperfects

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

  1. 1 DAY AGO

    Dr Emily - Hope

    Today, Dr Emily talks about hope. And in a world where things can feel a little bit hopeless, this really couldn’t have come at a better time. In contrast to all of our understanding up until this point, hope is not an emotion. Expertly defined by Dr Emily, hope is a belief. And most significantly, it can be learned, and it can be cultivated. Psychological mic-drop. This episode delves into strategies for creating both a sense of collective and individual hope, and in a discovery which happens to be VERY on-brand for this podcast, Dr Emily talks to the significance of vulnerability and connection in living a hopeful life. We hope you enjoy this one as much as we did. If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://bit.ly/41j0pT1 📚To pre-order Dr Emily’s book Unstuck, click here - https://bit.ly/4bhmCp2 🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Dr Julia Baird - An Awe-full Conversation - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/episode/dr-julia-baird-an-awe-full-conversation/  📖 Things to read Martin Seligman - Theory of Learned Hopelessness - https://bit.ly/3EY1oR2 Rick Snyder - Hope Theory: Rainbows in the Mind - https://bit.ly/4bAbu6Z Jamil Zacki - Hope for Cynics - https://www.jamil-zaki.com Robyn Walser - Heart of ACT - https://amzn.to/4izIv5x Barbara Frederikson - Reflections on Positive Emotions and Upward Spirals - https://bit.ly/3EY2yfl Nick Cave’s letter - https://bit.ly/3ETlr2O Victor Frankl - Man’s Search For Meaning - https://bit.ly/4iizuNM 💻Things to check out Dacher Keltner’s work - https://bit.ly/3XfJpfe Obama’s ‘Hope’ poster - https://bit.ly/4kgkvG4 The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1h 17m
  2. 23 FEB

    Matthew Murphy - A Sober Wombat

    Matthew Murphy, front-man of the iconic UK band The Wombats, joins us in our first VulnerabiliTea House of 2025. In this episode, Murph answers one of life’s most terrifying questions, “In what ways do you fear you could negatively impact your children?” He also shares his experience with panic attacks, anxiety and depression and is extremely honest detailing how alcohol became a crutch. Becoming sober, which Murph describes as the best decision of his life, was not easy.  Murph goes into detail about what the withdrawal process was like and how he began to find joy in activities again. Murph, thank you for soundtracking our youths (and current lives), and thank you for this incredibly helpful conversation.  If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://bit.ly/4i6hRRi  💿 Things to listen to: Love Fame Tragedy (Murph’s solo project) - https://apple.co/432zLQP The Wombats new album Oh! The Ocean - https://apple.co/4gNrgvV Enjoyed this episode but want a little more? Good news, we have a brand new show called A Little More Imperfects over on Patreon! Visit: www.patreon.com/theimperfectsIf you would like to receive a weekly Vulnerabilitea-mail newsletter, where you can answer this question yourself, click subscribe on our website www.theimperfects.com.au The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    53 min
  3. 16 FEB

    Maria Ruberto - Sleep Your Way To Your Top

    Psychologist Maria Ruberto is back to talk about one of the most important parts of our day: sleep. Starting off with the biology of sleep, Maria takes us through how we get to sleep, what happens when we sleep, and why we desperately need to sleep for good health and longevity. With metaphors galore to make the science as relatable as possible, we discuss the role of melatonin, the impact of screens on our suprachiasmatic nucleus and whether it’s worth cutting your sleep short to exercise? In more practical terms, Maria shares what sleep hygiene actually looks like, and, to Hugh and Josh’s relief, how hormones released during parenthood act to buffer against sleep deprivation. So set your sleep alarms, get comfy, and tuck yourself in for a BIG episode! Sweet dreams x If you would like to watch this full video on YouTub, follow this link: https://bit.ly/4htdJLj If you’d like to subscribe to our Patreon, A Little More Imperfects, sign up here: Patreon.com/theimperfects 🫖 Other Imperfect’s episodes mentioned in this episode: Maria Ruberto - Advancing Despite Adversity - https://apple.co/4e2Io05 Dr Emily - Social Anxiety, They’ve Got It Too - https://apple.co/3COk1pd 💻 Things to check out: Salutegenics Psychology - https://bit.ly/3WuhOFG Resilience First Aid - https://bit.ly/4dEYzQT  Matt Walker’s Website - www.sleepdiplomat.com Matt Walker’s QQRT assessment - https://bit.ly/4b0ErbF 🎧 Things to listen to: Jerry Seinfeld - The Tim Ferriss Show - https://apple.co/3CQc6Iv 📖 Things to read: Why We Sleep by Matt Walker - https://bit.ly/3COHNSv Michael Mosley’s Research - https://bit.ly/3WVkdKC Resilience First Peer Reviewed Research - https://bit.ly/3CB53n5 📺 Things to watch: Professor Jeff Ilaff - TedTalk on Sleep - https://bit.ly/3QhgB1G Matt Walker - REM sleep psychosis - https://bit.ly/4gJmv6J Matt Walker - MasterClass on Dreaming - https://bit.ly/3CQMkUs 💤 Melbourne Sleep Labs: *please note, some of these require a referral from a GP or specialist Alfred Health - https://bit.ly/42SKw80 Monash Health - https://bit.ly/3ECiLGM Epworth Sleep Centre - https://bit.ly/4hzylBI Melbourne Sleep Disorders Centre - https://bit.ly/4gDFcbS The Royal Melbourne Hospital Sleep Clinic - https://bit.ly/3ELbm7Y The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1h 53m
  4. 26 JAN

    James van Cuylenburg - What’s Your Relationship Status?

    It’s our last episode of Summer School, and today we welcome back clinical psychologist (and “clinical cousin” of Hugh and Josh), James van Cuylenburg. In this episode, James tells us EVERYTHING we need to know about our relationships… well almost everything…there’s a lot to cover. From attachment styles, to breaking trust, to learning how to own your feelings and navigating coupledom through life’s changing seasons. Getting into the nitty gritty, Hugh asks James about intimacy and what happens when you’re not…. having any. And how to start a conversation with your kids about pornography. Relationships make life worth living and whether they’re with an intimate partner, a friend, or yourself, they should be cherished and treated with care. James, we thank you for your guidance. If you liked this episode, and wanted to do some further reflection on it, each week our Vulnerabilitea-mail newsletter shares a question to get you thinking deeper. We’d love to hear from you, so please send your reflections in to the link provided. Subscribe here! If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube, click here - https://bit.ly/3WwDguJ   🎧Things to listen to James’ new podcast (that he makes with ANOTHER van Cuylenburg) You’re a Good Kid - https://apple.co/3E54MZR James van Cuylenburg - Love Your Wonky Bricks - https://apple.co/3UYXmgt Esther Perel - Let’s Be Better Lovers - https://apple.co/3Af9OB6 Chanel Contos - Consensual Healing - https://bit.ly/3RNKpEm 📖 Things to read Attached by Dr Amir Levine and Rachel S.F Heller M.A - https://amzn.to/3EeVDhe 💻Things to check out Teach Us Consent Website - https://bit.ly/3QVhlK0 Three Sided Pillar (triangle of happiness) - https://bit.ly/42kntmc 🚨If you, or someone you know, has experienced or is at risk of domestic violence or coercive control, call the 24 hour national counselling service 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732). In an emergency, or if you’re feeling unsafe, call 000.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1h 35m
  5. 19 JAN

    Imperfect Birth Stories with Sophie Walker

    In this episode of our Summer School, we are joined by Sophie Walker, creator, and host of Australian Birth Stories. With over 17 million downloads, and 500 episodes, Australian Birth Stories podcast has been accredited by the Australian College of Midwives and has been instrumental in educating and empowering both people who are giving birth, as well as birthing partners. Hugh shares the incredible trauma and fear involved with his first experience of birth, and how tools of education and empowerment, such as Lael Stone’s excellent counselling, helped him prepared for birth a second time around. The power of information is invaluable, and Josh opens up about how Hugh’s experience with birth shaped his own, and what the experience was like for him. Sophie, it was such a pleasure. To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://youtu.be/3sey26-L4Rw  🎧 Things to listen to: Australian Birth Stories Podcast - https://apple.co/4f3PgKx Lisa Wipfli’s episode - https://apple.co/3CZ34sx Lael Stone’s episode - https://bit.ly/3ZhaZZD Lael Stone on The Imperfects:  Creating Emotionally Intelligent Humans - https://apple.co/3V2vuIb Take Care of Yourself - https://apple.co/4eAJNuw Parent Yourself First - https://apple.co/3ZE28Tj Martin Heppell on The Imperfects: The Vulnerabilitea House - Martin Heppell - https://bit.ly/3ZerqqN Martin “Rac” Heppell - The other F word ….. FAILURE - https://bit.ly/4fUkDIk Jack Post - Natal Depression - https://apple.co/49AgxDb 💻 Things to check out: The danger of a single story TedTalk - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - https://bit.ly/4f16DM5 Australian Birth Stories Birth Class Course - https://bit.ly/3BdMgxc 📖 Things to read:  The Complete Australian Guide to Pregnancy and Birth by Sophie Walker - https://amzn.to/3EscPQu  If you, or someone you know, is struggling with post-natal depression or anxiety surrounding birth, these are a few great websites we’ve found cope.org.au panda.org.au   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1h 2m

Trailers

About

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

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