Getting Close

Aidan Wharton

Getting Close is an intimate exploration of how we connect, love, and build relationships in the modern world. Each week, host Aidan Wharton sits down with culture-shaping voices to give you practical insights from honest conversations about relationships, Queerness, sex, connection, and community. gettingclosepod.substack.com

  1. 23 Jun

    PRIDE SHOW with Ben Greene - on How to Make New Friends, Finding Joy & Whimsy, & What Pride Means in 2026

    HAPPY PRIDE! This is the last episode before we take our summer break, and I couldn't be more excited to share this one with you. It's perfect for Pride, perfect for summer, perfect for friendship, and perfect for you! In this episode, Ben and I talk about how happiness is different from joy, but joy is what keeps us going, why you should fight in a British accent, whimsy, new friendship, Pride as a mile marker, and how we're navigating our budding new friendship. After coming out at 15 in a small town, Ben Greene has devoted his career to spreading empathy, education, and storytelling around the trans experience. Whether it's for NASA, Johnson & Johnson, or over 200 PFLAG chapters, Ben leads with joy. He is the author of the Substack "Good Queer News", as well as the book "My Child is Trans, Now What? A Joy Centered Approach to Support". He has been nominated for a GLAAD media award and is passionate about leading with joy and educating others from a place of compassion—no matter where they're starting from. In this episode, we get curious about: How pride is a mile marker that we have the honor of passing by Why you should fight in a British accent Concrete ways to bring more whimsy into your life How he and I are navigating our own new friendship Ben's brilliant two similarities tip on where to find new friends Why you may not always be able to choose happiness, but you can always choose joy And how we stay hopeful in these trying times Links Good Queer News: https://www.goodqueernews.com/ Ben on IG: https://www.instagram.com/pseudo.bro/ Aidan on IG: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Getting Close on IG: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Chapters (00:00) Celebrating Pride and Connection (02:49) The Meaning of Pride (06:00) Joy vs. Happiness (08:48) Joy as a Tool for Resistance (11:58) Building Connections and Community (14:46) Navigating Vulnerability and Earnestness (18:01) Creating Whimsy in Relationships (29:35) Habit Stacking with Joy (34:23) The Paradox of Choice (38:56) Finding Hope in Despair (45:55) Embracing Discomfort for Growth (52:50) The Power of Community and Change

    PRIDE SHOW with Ben Greene - on How to Make New Friends, Finding Joy & Whimsy, & What Pride Means in 2026

  2. 9 Jun

    Love & Connection Expert - on Why Gay Dating Feels so Hard, Modern Relations & Hinge's 2026 LGBTQ DATE Report

    If you're fed up with modern dating, this episode is for you. In it you and I sit down with Hinge's Love & Connection Expert Moe Ari Brown to bring you actionable data from Hinge's 2026 LGBTQ+ D.A.T.E. Report! We talk about what dating looks like in 2026, why dating feels so hard for so many gay men, what the data can tell us to make dating easier, what people are actually looking for in relationships these days, and so much more. Moe Ari Brown is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over a decade of experience helping people build genuine, lasting relationships. Moe has worked with people across all identities on their journey to love themselves and establish meaningful connections. He also serve as a Diversity & Equity Consultant. Moe graduated from Northwestern University with an MS in Marriage and Family Therapy. His insights have been featured in publications including The Wall Street Journal, Essence, Out, and Cosmopolitan. We Get Curious About The biggest trends in LGBTQ dating in 2026 Why daters are looking for clarity above all else in dating What it means to date by showing, not telling The surprising ways uncertainty about the world is affecting all of our relationships Why reliability is the #1 thing gay men look for in dating and how to ask for it The ideal amount of time you should spend on the apps before you ask to meet up IRL What your digital body language says about you to prospective dates What long term and open relationships can glean from this data, too Links Hinge's 2026 LGBTQ+ Date Report: https://hinge.co/newsroom/2026-LGBTQIA-Report Moe on IG: https://www.instagram.com/loveoutproud/ Moe on Substack: https://moeari.substack.com/ Aidan on IG: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Getting Close on IG: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/ The Sexual Health Alliance: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/ Chapters (00:00) Navigating Relationship Strain in Uncertain Times (02:50) Understanding the Role of Clarity in Relationships (05:49) The Impact of Emotional Safety on Connections (09:02) Insights from Hinge's LGBTQ+ Dating Report (11:52) The Shift Towards 'Show, Don't Tell' Dating (15:03) Embracing Vulnerability in Dating (18:11) Whimsy and Fun in Modern Dating (20:54) Building Connections Beyond the First Date (24:12) The Importance of Consistency in Relationships (28:19) Understanding PDA Preferences in LGBTQ+ Relationships (30:03) Navigating Reliability in Modern Dating (31:56) Optimizing Dating Profiles for Success (34:06) Rekindling Laughter in Long-Term Relationships (36:25) The Importance of Clarity in Relationships (39:41) Emotional Safety and Relationship Dynamics (41:50) Communication in Open Relationships (44:31) The Role of Early Relationships in Shaping Love (46:17) Seeking Emotional Safety in Uncertain Times (53:22) Building Community and Connection

    Love & Connection Expert - on Why Gay Dating Feels so Hard, Modern Relations & Hinge's 2026 LGBTQ DATE Report

  3. 26 May

    Gay Money Expert — How the Gays Afford Their Trips, Surprising Side Hustles, and Shame Spending

    If you're constantly worrying about money and wondering how you're going to make it through the summer without maxing out your cards, this episode's for you. In it, I sit down with finance guru Nick Wolny, author of Money Proud, as he teaches you and me his seven words to generate wealth. We also explore how shame makes us spend beyond our means, why Grindr is designed to make you so miserable, the unique ways LGBTQ folks interact with money, why you need to stop shopping on Instagram, and why investing is the key to building wealth. NICK WOLNY is a finance author and editor. He writes about money, behavior, queer culture, and how they intertwine, usually via his email newsletter Financialicious. Nick is the finance columnist for Out magazine and has provided on-air commentary for CNN, Good Morning America, and others. His first book, Money Proud: The Queer Guide to Generate Wealth, Slay Debt, and Build Good Habits to Secure Your Future, was published with HarperCollins and recommended by The New York Times. We Get Curious About: How consumerism was invented to make you feel like sh*t about yourself How LGBT folks are much more likely to overspend Why gig work isn't the long-term side hustle we hope it is Nick's number one tip to start turning your money around How the gays afford all their lavish trips How Grindr's bugs are all part of their plan to make you miserable Links Money Proud by Nick Wolney: https://nickwolney.com/book Nick on IG: https://instagram.com/nickwolney Aidan on IG: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Getting Close on IG: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/ Wealthfront Investing App - https://www.wealthfront.com Acorns Investment App - https://www.acorns.com Weapon-Free Funds - https://www.ethicalinvesting.com/weapon-free Prison-Free Funds - https://www.ethicalinvesting.com/prison-free Chapters (00:00) Introduction and Gratitude (02:53) Understanding Money Stress in the LGBTQ+ Community (05:48) The Emotional Side of Spending (09:06) Thought Patterns and Financial Literacy (12:09) The Seven Word Plan for Wealth (14:53) Budgeting and Intentional Spending (17:43) Consumerism and Identity (20:59) The Impact of Advertising on Spending Behavior (26:16) The Economics of Dating Apps (28:04) Exploring Income Opportunities (32:25) The Importance of Multiple Income Streams (33:20) Investing for the Future (39:41) Navigating Ethical Investing (41:58) Community and Connection in Finances

    Gay Money Expert — How the Gays Afford Their Trips, Surprising Side Hustles, and Shame Spending

  4. 19 May

    Lesbian Bar Historian — on Windows as Protest, Queer Bar Gentrification, and How You Can Save Them

    If a gay bar you love has ever shut down, you must listen to this episode. In this episode, Rachel Karp and I get into her incredible road trip where she visited every lesbian bar in the country with her wife and best friend. She takes us on a tour of Queer bar history, complete with a legal fight to wear pants, how windows are actually a sign of progress, the difference between blue state bars and red, how bars are changing to keep up with the times, and four ways you can actually help your favorite queer bar today. RACHEL KARP is a writer and producer who has worked across podcasts, TV, film, theater, and digital media. The co-creator and producer of the award-winning documentary podcast Cruising, she has also supported series for LinkedIn News, Paramount+, A&E, and Oxygen. She holds a bachelor's degree in theater and English from Skidmore College. We Get Curious About: * How queer bars sometimes start the gentrification that eventually kills them * Why queer bars in Oklahoma have better communities than the ones in New York * Why queer bars with windows are a signal of radical progress * Who gets to exist in Queer bars? * How her podcast helped open a new Queer bar in Massachusetts * Four unique ways you can save the Queer bars you love! Links Pre-Order The Lesbian Bar Chronicles: https://www.beacon.org/The-Lesbian-Bar-Chronicles-P2460.aspx Cruising Podcast: https://cruisingpod.com Rachel on IG: https://www.instagram.com/rachel.karp/ Cruising on IG: https://www.instagram.com/cruisingpod Aidan on IG: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Getting Close on IG: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/ Chapters (00:00) Introduction to Queer Spaces and Their Importance (03:17) The Journey of Chronicling Lesbian Bars (07:53) Experiences in Queer Bars Across the Country (12:27) The Significance of Community in Queer Spaces (14:48) Historical Impact of Queer Bars (18:55) Adapting to Modern Times: The Evolution of Queer Bars (22:55) Inclusivity in Queer Spaces: A Double Standard? (25:41) Navigating Identity and Community in Queer Bars (26:39) Exploring Queer Spaces in Red States (29:05) The Impact of Gentrification on Queer Bars (32:56) Supporting and Sustaining Queer Spaces (39:31) The Future of Queer Bars and Community (46:50) Preserving Queer History and Spaces This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

    Lesbian Bar Historian — on Windows as Protest, Queer Bar Gentrification, and How You Can Save Them

  5. 5 May

    3 Lessons To Make You Happier with JP Brammer

    If you're tired of all the noise and want three simple tips to find a little more happiness, this is the episode for you. Today, you and I are sitting down with JP Brammer as he reveals three lessons that are making him genuinely happier right now. We learn how to ask for what you need, why you need to wash your thoughts like dishes, why you might feel lonely in a group of gays, the corrosive effects of comfort, and how to really trust what's best for you. John Paul Brammer is an award-winning writer and artist from Lawton, Oklahoma, currently based in Brooklyn. His memoir-in-essays, ¡Hola Papi!, was published in 2021, and is based on his popular advice column of the same name. His bylines include The New Yorker, The New York times, The Washington Post, and The Los Angeles Times. He is working on his second and third books. We explore: * Why hell is the Fire Island house next door * How a 1700s Swedish mystic can grant you a day pass to heaven * How Buzzfeed personality quizzes created a generation of anxiety * Why the Spotify CEO considers silence his biggest competitor and what that means for your brain * The one piece of advice every gay person needs Links * John Paul Brammer on Instagram * John Paul Brammer on Substack * Splash Blanket Waterproof Blanket * Aidan Wharton on Instagram * Getting Close on Instagram Chapters (00:00) Introduction to Connection and Happiness (03:07) Navigating Advice and Autonomy (06:02) The Journey of an Advice Giver (08:50) Lessons from Vulnerable Communities (11:59) Embracing Your Authentic Self (14:55) The Importance of Asking (18:06) The Role of Spirituality in Connection (20:57) Communities and Personal Growth (27:45) The Complexity of Community and Loneliness (28:42) The Quality of Thoughts and Mental Hygiene (30:39) Influence of Social Media on Thought Patterns (33:31) The Value of Silence and Stillness (36:25) Cruelty and Its Cost on Mental Health (38:46) Trusting Your Intuition and Recognizing Discomfort (41:32) The Illusion of Comfort and Its Consequences (43:31) Navigating Discomfort in Relationships (45:52) Advice for Future Self and Creative Projects (52:36) Community Connections and Personal Growth This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

    3 Lessons To Make You Happier with JP Brammer

  6. 31 Mar

    My Husband & Broadway Star: How to Break the Patterns Holding You Back

    If you have a little voice in the back of your mind saying, you should really break that habit, this episode is for you. We all have coping mechanisms that help us get through the day, but when do we know if those coping mechanisms have turned into unhealthy patterns, and if so, how can we break them? In this episode, my husband Casey (and y'all's most requested return guest) sits back down with me for a deeply intimate and vulnerable conversation about his last year breaking patterns of addiction. We unpack: * How to let go of the patterns that no longer serve you * The differences between habits, coping mechanisms, and unhealthy patterns * Why your journey with substances doesn't have to look like anyone else's. * How to support a partner who is dismantling their relationship with substances * How to find joy in sobriety through new rituals and experiences. * The most surprising things we've both learned as we stopped drinking. Chapters (00:00) Introduction to Connection and Coping Mechanisms (02:54) Celebrating Six Months Alcohol-Free (05:40) Understanding Patterns vs. Habits (10:04) Exploring Early Coping Mechanisms (16:44) The Impact of Substances on Life (21:54) Navigating Social Drinking and Isolation (26:38) Navigating Loneliness and Community Needs (28:05) The Journey to Sobriety: A Personal Reflection (31:51) Breaking Patterns: The Role of Substances in Coping (36:01) Emotional Breakthroughs: The Impact of Isolation (39:46) Supporting Partners Through Change (43:02) Surprising Positives: Finding Joy in Sobriety (45:58) Messages of Hope: Embracing Change and Growth (50:17) Curiosity and Connection: Engaging with Community Follow Along! Follow Casey: https://bit.ly/3NY8jya Follow Aidan: https://bit.ly/4sRSpoX Follow Getting Close: https://bit.ly/4jW9Ro8 Send us a comment or question at: hellogettingclose@gmail.com! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

    My Husband & Broadway Star: How to Break the Patterns Holding You Back

  7. 17 Mar

    Trans Thought Leader: The Complex Politics of Being a Man

    What can gay men learn from trans men? In this episode of Getting Close, I sit down with my friend Sandy for a very vulnerable conversation about how trans men and cis men exist within the gay community. We dive into masculinity, privilege, and what compassionate inclusion can look like in our spaces. Sandy Gooen is a published and produced writer. He's currently developing a musical called Twink Piece. He also runs TEMPO (@theetempo), which is an organization for Trans music professionals. His professional and academic background is mostly music and theater, but in his free time, he focuses a lot on gender and LGBT topics. At the root of Sandy's work is the desire to cultivate belonging and understanding! We get into * Which conversations about transness are oversaturated * Which conversations about transness still need to happen * What gay men don't know about the trans experience * The different ways that masculinity affects us all * And why gay men only talk to people they're attracted to, and how to start to change that. Follow Along! Follow Sandy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/silentwhat Follow Sandy on Substack: Follow Aidan: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Follow Getting Close: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod Chapters (00:00) Introduction (05:20) Growing Up Masculine (10:40) The Early Signs of Difference (16:00) Exploring Gender (21:50) The Carving Out A Space in NYC (27:10) Navigating Gay Spaces as a Trans Man (32:40) The Unspoken Social Rules Inside Queer Spaces (38:00) Why We're Afraid to Talk About Trans Experiences (43:30) Who Gets to Define Masculinity (49:30) What Connection Between Men Can Look Like This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

    Trans Thought Leader: The Complex Politics of Being a Man

  8. 10 Mar

    Gay Intimacy Researcher: The Hidden Rules of Hookup Culture

    How has the internet changed gay s*x, consent, and intimacy? In this episode, Andrew Restieri joins me to discuss the complexities of digital intimacy within gay culture. We discuss how everyone has differing rules about consent, the economy of nude photos, who owns a nude once it's sent, the rise of hookup apps, and how they affect our in-person experiences. Andrew Restieri is a PhD candidate at Cornell whose research broadly centers on the use of digital technology to facilitate online communities, especially for queer people. His dissertation examines the online sexual practices of gay men and how those practices challenge conventional understandings of intimacy and consent. He also holds a master's from Johns Hopkins University and a BA from Northwestern. We unpack: 🟡 The "economy of nudes" that exists in gay culture. 🟡 Why consent online is almost impossible to define. 🟡 The uncomfortable question: who owns a nude once it's sent? 🟡 Why digital intimacy and real-life intimacy may now be the same thing. 🟡 The surprising reason some men send unsolicited nudes. 🟡 The real question behind every app interaction: what do we owe each other? If you've ever taken a nude, this episode's for you. Chapters (00:00) Introduction (02:40) Connection Questions and Personal Insights (04:40) Research Focus: Gay Men's Digital Practices (07:52) Understanding Consent and Privacy in Digital Spaces (10:08) The Economy of Nudes: Value and Exchange (12:56) Digital vs. In-Person Intimacy: A Blurred Line (15:45) Impact of Hookup Apps on Gay Male Intimacy (18:36) Consent and Boundaries in Digital Interactions (21:12) The Politics of Ownership and Consent (24:32) Navigating Consent in a Diverse Landscape (26:57) Class Politics and Digital Intimacy (33:15) Navigating Boundaries in Gay Digital Spaces (39:24) The Role of Digital Tools in Gay Connections (44:40) Flirting and Intimacy in the Modern Age (47:10) Curiosities and Community Connections Follow Along! Follow Andrew: https://www.instagram.com/andrewrestieri Follow Aidan: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Follow Getting Close: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

    Gay Intimacy Researcher: The Hidden Rules of Hookup Culture
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About

Getting Close is an intimate exploration of how we connect, love, and build relationships in the modern world. Each week, host Aidan Wharton sits down with culture-shaping voices to give you practical insights from honest conversations about relationships, Queerness, sex, connection, and community. gettingclosepod.substack.com

Information

  • Creator
    Aidan Wharton
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    25
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Aidan Wharton
  • Show Website
    Getting Close

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