Love Thy Neighbor Show

Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and Colette Fehr
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  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated weekly

Love Thy Neighbor is a straight-talk relationship show from Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and licensed therapist Colette J. Fehr - born the day Colette knocked on their door and they realized they were literal next-door neighbors. Together, they bring 50 years of broadcasting (Dan 30, Tom 20) and 15 years of clinical counseling (Colette), plus real-life reps: Tom's 20-year marriage, Dan's 15-year marriage, and Colette's second, thriving chapter. Expect humor, empathy, and practical advice from both sides of the wall. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.

  1. LTN 39 - Friends with Anyone

    5 hr ago

    LTN 39 - Friends with Anyone

    Love Thy Neighbor relationship show introduction Jokes about lending friends money and buying a boat USA soccer win, FIFA officiating, and Bosnia confusion Friendships, family, and business relationships Handling money requests from friends and family Financial help can create guilt, pressure, and resentment Difference between true hardship and entitlement Listener requested money for a house down payment Wealthy people face constant expectations to help Mr. Wonderful's "give once, never again" advice Debate over whether that advice fits average people People-pleasing and avoiding uncomfortable conversations Family support after divorce Consider need, ability, and relationship before lending Only lend money without resentment or expectations Clearly define repayment terms for loans Repeated bailouts can become enabling Business favors and personal favors Benjamin Franklin effect explained Benjamin Franklin improved a rivalry by borrowing a book Cognitive dissonance behind the Benjamin Franklin effect Small favors can strengthen relationships Mr. Fascinating vs. Mr. Wonderful jokes Criticism of Mr. Wonderful's personality Relationship habits vs. manipulation Intentional compliments strengthen relationships Compliments should never have hidden motives Genuine praise helps people feel valued Regular compliments build confidence and positivity Positive reinforcement strengthens social circles Dr. John Gottman's positive interaction research Insincere or exaggerated praise backfires Authentic compliments should be specific Small compliments can brighten a stranger's day Say positive thoughts out loud Sales rapport vs. genuine connection Goodwill and persuasion can overlap Some people love deeply but struggle to express it Intentional habits improve relationships Different love and communication styles Acts of service can express love Expressive vs. stoic partners Deliberate routines help less expressive people Genie lamp debate $5 million challenge to befriend a stranger Common interests are not required for friendship Could you become friends with Kanye West? Healthy boundaries in unusual friendships Liver King, steroids, and Joe Rogan feud Severe mental illness or violence can limit relationships Therapy builds connection across differences Strong relationships do not require agreement Learn someone's story before judging them Diverse relationships promote personal growth Motivation matters more than similarity Eye contact strengthens emotional connection 36 questions associated with falling in love Prolonged eye contact and attraction studies Biology influences human connection Many people avoid vulnerable eye contact Co-regulation calms the nervous system Connection techniques can be used ethically or manipulatively Long-term couples develop nearly wordless communication Great partners function as dependable teammates Loneliness among older men Men often seek relationships quickly after divorce Grandfather's WWII and orphanage stories Childhood trauma shaped emotional expression Listening can be deeply therapeutic Respect vulnerable conversations without recording them Being heard without judgment helps healing Older generations often suppressed emotion Stoic people may crave connection Relationship skills can be learned Modern loneliness epidemic People can feel lonely even in crowds Ask thoughtful open-ended questions Invite meaningful stories instead of facts Ask what someone loves about their work Genuine curiosity strengthens relationships Human connection is a psychological need Strong relationships protect mental health Chronic loneliness is linked to serious health risks People need meaningful connections beyond small talk Humans are wired for belonging Much behavior is subconscious Therapy reveals unconscious patterns Habits reduce mental effort Decision fatigue affects behavior Wearing a daily uniform reduces decisions Lasting change requires repetition and reminders Practice daily compliments and kindness Small acts improve both people's moods Socializing often feels better once it starts Ask for a small favor to build rapport Borrowing a book as a Benjamin Franklin effect example Preview of an episode about saying no Healthy boundaries and saying no "No" can be a complete sentence Promotion of Colette's book, The Cost of Quiet Mention of Colette's Insights from the Couch podcast Closing joke about fewer genie discussions ### Website: https://tomanddan.com/ BDM: https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch: https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/ Watch Live: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TomandDanLive Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/tomanddanlive Follow Us: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AMediocreTime Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tomanddanlive/ X: https://x.com/TomandDanLive RSS Feeds: ACT: https://feeds.libsyn.com/61976/rss AMT: https://feeds.libsyn.com/18904/rss BDM: https://feeds.libsyn.com/37121/rss

    50 min
  2. LTN 36 - Couples Therapy 101

    11 Jun

    LTN 36 - Couples Therapy 101

    Therapy recommendation changed a listener's life eight years later Therapy vs using alcohol to cope with stress and emotions Returning to therapy after emotional strain affected a marriage Benefits of talking with someone outside the relationship Mental health stigma and growing up without therapy discussions Therapy compared to hiring a trainer for mental fitness Realization therapy helps more than just people in crisis Relationships and mental health are closely connected Why "we never fight" is not a relationship success metric Martin Short's marriage discussed as a relationship role model Using exceptional couples as inspiration for growth How to find a good therapist or couples therapist Examples of bad therapy, boundary issues, and unethical behavior Couples therapy during a marriage on the brink of divorce Importance of therapist training and specialization Why good couples therapists avoid taking sides Therapist fit, trust, and comfort for both partners More couples seeking therapy before major problems arise Therapy for communication, intimacy, and conflict skills Parenting, illness, and family stress impacting relationships Trauma, abandonment, addiction, and neglect affecting partnerships Why therapy should feel safe, supportive, and practical Couples therapy becoming more preventive than crisis-driven High cost of therapy and barriers to access Why couples therapy requires extensive training University clinics offering free or low-cost counseling Sliding-scale, pro bono, and community therapy resources Psychology Today directory for finding therapists Telehealth making therapy more accessible Expensive therapists are not always the best therapists Insurance limitations and mental health coverage problems UCF counseling clinics as a local low-cost option Does therapist age and life experience matter? Personal experience vs evidence-based treatment models Listener success story using the UCF clinic Why one therapy session rarely solves major issues Benefits of combining individual and couples therapy Healthy couples using short-term therapy tune-ups Long-term therapy for infidelity and deep disconnection Therapy compared to learning skills from a personal trainer Books, courses, and self-help options for couples Gottman Institute resources and relationship education When self-help works and when professional help is needed Using insurance directories to find covered therapists Looking for LMFT credentials in couples counseling Employee Assistance Programs offering free sessions Struggling to find available therapists during high demand 988 crisis line and mental health resources Interviewing therapists before committing Asking how much of a therapist's practice is couples work Why couples therapy is a specialized field Evidence-based models like Gottman, EFT, RLT, and Imago Humor as a powerful relationship-building tool Shared laughter strengthening marriages and families Stress and productivity reducing connection and creativity Making time for playfulness and fun during busy seasons Parenting, school schedules, and daily obligations causing strain John Gottman's relationship research and lab studies The Four Horsemen: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling Predicting relationship outcomes from interaction patterns Negative sentiment override explained Relationship bank account analogy for emotional goodwill Assuming the worst when resentment builds Using laughter and connection to prevent relationship decline Addressing problems early before resentment grows Relationship maintenance compared to cleaning a house Regular repair conversations building resilience Shared laughter as a sign of safety and connection Being intentional and present with loved ones Family games and quality time as meaningful experiences Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith relationship discussion Chris Rock's response to the Oscars slap Entitlement, fame, and emotional regulation Physical aggression as unhealthy conflict resolution Coercive control, dominance, and abusive relationship dynamics Road rage and other examples of poor emotional regulation Listener questions, relationship resources, and future topics Comparing show personalities to Howard Stern show roles ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://x.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

    47 min
  3. LTN 35 - Pushing Yourself to Participate

    4 Jun

    LTN 35 - Pushing Yourself to Participate

    Colette recovers from a successful book launch and discusses reader impact Jokes about writing books for money lead into relationship trends Gen Alpha AI romantic partner trend sparks concerns about future relationships Growing trend of couples maintaining independent lives within committed relationships Separate hobbies, friends, activities, and solo trips can strengthen partnerships Healthy interdependence balances autonomy and connection Security and personal space help maintain attraction and growth Relationship balance should not be treated as a fixed formula Colette describes a highly independent marriage built on trust Dan introduces being "Magoo'd" by his wife handling forgotten responsibilities Story about his wife preloading directions for a missed doctor appointment Discussion of the mental load often carried by women in relationships Planning, organizing, and household management can create resentment Shared responsibility requires allowing partners to make mistakes Micromanagement and perfectionism can undermine teamwork Relationship imbalances form when one partner routinely takes over tasks Dan intentionally resumes responsibilities like driving to restore balance Backseat driving anxiety affects who assumes control of certain duties Communication remains one of the most universal relationship tools Couples should build systems that fit their unique dynamic Maintaining interests outside the relationship supports mental health Work, parenting, and responsibilities often crowd out hobbies and friendships Adults still need creativity, fun, and play Learning guitar used as an example of pursuing long-delayed interests Personal hobbies framed as necessities rather than luxuries Self-care improves relationships, work performance, and well-being Discussion of people faking emergencies to avoid social obligations "Not feeling well" cited as the most common cancellation excuse Overscheduled lives leave many people emotionally exhausted Social battery depletion presented as a valid reason for downtime Reliable people often feel guilty canceling plans Importance of considering how much effort others made before canceling Chronic last-minute cancellations viewed as inconsiderate Honest communication is healthier than invented excuses Sometimes pushing through reluctance leads to positive experiences Distinguishing genuine exhaustion from simple resistance Fear of disappointing others drives many social excuses Themes from The Cost of Quiet encourage direct communication FOMO complicates decisions about staying home or attending events Smartphones and social media increase pressure to stay engaged Concern about a loneliness epidemic despite constant connectivity People can feel lonely even when surrounded by loved ones Examine whether social pressure comes from personal values or outside expectations Most people could benefit from more real-world social interaction Story about attending an Orlando Arsenal supporters event despite anxiety Partially familiar groups can feel more stressful than strangers Structured social settings often feel easier than open-ended gatherings Exposure to social discomfort can reduce anxiety over time Social anxiety is a major reason people avoid events Close friends require less social energy than acquaintances Anxiety around forgetting names and social details Public personalities face frequent awkward recognition encounters Tricks for remembering names in social situations Socializing becomes harder after emotionally demanding workdays Even extroverts must invest effort into social interaction Active listening requires significant mental energy Social anxiety and social effort are major barriers to connection Avoiding social situations can reinforce anxiety Humans are biologically wired for community and connection Modern life removes many natural opportunities for social engagement Socializing compared to exercise as something beneficial despite resistance Strong relationships linked to better health and longevity Digital communication cannot fully replace in-person interaction Younger generations may struggle with phone calls due to reduced practice Less social friction can weaken interpersonal confidence Concept of "mental nutrition" compares texting to junk food Face-to-face communication provides deeper emotional connection Couples therapy often uses eye contact and vulnerability exercises Difficult conversations frequently produce meaningful breakthroughs No universal rule exists for self-care versus pushing through discomfort Some people need more social engagement while others need more rest Self-awareness is key to identifying personal needs Excessive isolation and phone-centered living increase disconnection Families sitting together on phones can feel disconnected and depressing Phone use often becomes the default way to decompress Exercise improves mood, energy, and family interactions Board games create laughter, connection, and shared memories Real-world connection offers benefits technology cannot fully replicate Human connection compared to healthy food and exercise Families should intentionally create opportunities for engagement Promotion of The Cost of Quiet and its communication themes Mention of an upcoming Fox 35 Orlando appearance Humorous story about accidentally displaying a book upside down online Joke that the mistake looked like an intentional marketing strategy Closing reflections on communication, connection, and personal well-being ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://x.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

    48 min
  4. LTN 34 - Growing Old Together

    27 May

    LTN 34 - Growing Old Together

    Love Thy Neighbor relationship show and anonymous listener emails Man reflects on life after raising kids and building a business with his wife Anxiety about retirement, aging, identity, and no longer being needed Fear of losing purpose after stepping away from career success Hustle culture masking insecurity and avoiding self-reflection Reinventing yourself after parenting and career transitions Empty nest couples relearning how to connect without kids around Parenting dominating marriages and creating emotional distance Importance of honest conversations during major life changes Why couples avoid vulnerability and emotional honesty Couples therapy helping partners say difficult things out loud Small honest talks vs giant emotional blowups Shared hobbies, travel, and rituals helping couples reconnect Emotional connection requires deeper conversations beyond date nights Couples discussing goals for the next chapter of life Debate about college degrees and whether college is overrated Running joke about a fake underground podcast called Hate Thy Neighbor Axe throwing mocked as a fake fun bar activity Jokes about dangerous axe throwing dates and relationship injuries Email about a husband treating strangers better than his wife Public disrespect toward spouses as a major relationship red flag Difference between normal marital annoyance and real contempt Marital contempt discussed as a predictor of divorce Discussion about intervening in toxic relationships Warning that criticizing relationships can damage friendships Gentle ways to express concern about a friend's relationship Jokes about chaotic rebound relationships after divorce Stories about reckless dating, drugs, and apartment life post-divorce Debate about abusive relationships vs unhealthy but consensual dynamics Therapists privately doubting whether some couples will survive Couples loving each other despite incompatible values and boundaries Friendship boundaries, exes, and opposite-sex friendships in relationships Andrea's attractive male friends and insecurity jokes Self-deprecating humor and comparing looks to Captain Caveman Beard compliments unexpectedly boosting confidence Difficulty accepting compliments due to low self-worth Therapy work focused on reducing self-hatred and negative self-talk Why many people reject compliments instead of accepting them Simply saying thank you as a self-esteem exercise Marathon training and repetition used as examples of personal growth Prison jokes and absurd comedy tangents about human adaptation Tracy texting about the Summer House reunion White Claw jokes and early morning drinking humor Difference between confidence and true self-esteem Self-esteem described as belief in your worth as a person Mirror affirmations and difficulty saying "I love you" to yourself Men and older generations resisting emotional self-help exercises Relationship with yourself described as the most important relationship Self-love framed as an inside job instead of outside validation Universal human insecurity discussed by therapists Negative self-talk as a survival mechanism from childhood Success happening despite self-hatred, not because of it Positive internal dialogue outperforming shame-based motivation Sports psychology supporting encouragement over self-destruction Interrupting negative self-talk and replacing it with compassion Slowpoke Rodriguez jokes and outdated cartoon stereotypes High achievers believing self-hatred drives success Brain wiring focusing heavily on mistakes and danger Harsh self-talk fueling anxiety, depression, and suffering Russell Wilson and Tom Brady examples of mental resilience Elite athletes focusing on adjustments instead of self-hatred Special forces mindset of radical self-forgiveness Reframing past mistakes with compassion toward your younger self Speaking to yourself like you would your child or best friend Story about a child struggling emotionally after a dance competition Encouragement after failure without pretending poor performance was great Nobody performs perfectly all the time, including professionals Long careers improving gradually through repetition and experience Positive affirmations retraining the brain through repetition Apps, tapes, and meditations built around affirmations and self-talk Therapy helping people become kinder to themselves Promotion of Colette Jane Fair's book The Cost of Quiet ### Social Media TomandDan.com X @tomanddanlive Facebook Instagram Where to Find the Show A Mediocre Time - Apple Podcasts A Mediocre Time - Google Podcasts Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 A Corporate Time - Apple Podcasts A Corporate Time - Google Podcasts Exclusive Content BDM Registration Merch Tom and Dan Merch Store

    47 min
  5. LTN 33 - Tit for Tat & Supporting Conflict

    21 May

    LTN 33 - Tit for Tat & Supporting Conflict

    Debate over whether "high maintenance" means difficult or just outspoken Opposite personality traits attracting in relationships Emotional partners pairing with non-emotional partners Confident traits becoming annoying over time Restaurant table requests viewed differently by different personalities Difference between advocating for preferences and being demanding Nostalgia for the original smaller The Ravenous Pig location Aggressive table stalking at crowded restaurants and bars Fight with an older woman over a first-come-first-served table Husband hiding from confrontation during restaurant conflict Chest tapping joke about being "in the assault family" Restaurant manager siding with first-come-first-served rules Dinner atmosphere ruined after public confrontation Debate over preserving peace versus winning arguments Feeling unsupported by a partner during public conflicts Wanting a partner to visibly "have your back" Fear of public confrontations escalating dangerously Movie theater fights over confronting loud teenagers Stressful backseat driving dynamics in relationships Argument over passing a peloton of cyclists Debate over cyclists riding single file in traffic Pressure from spouses to drive more aggressively Failed attempt to pass cyclists before a stop sign Couples evolving into permanent driver/passenger roles "Passenger princess" relationships where one partner never drives Older men judging husbands driven by their wives Constant driving criticism making partners avoid driving Knowing you are a bad backseat driver but struggling to stop Household tension over chores and organization Doing chores poorly to avoid future chores Wanting help while criticizing how help is done Partners wanting control while demanding initiative Discussion of women handling most household labor Resentment over carrying the mental load at home Importance of letting partners contribute differently Anxiety driving controlling passenger behavior Constant criticism making partners shut down "Criticize and defend" relationship dynamics Partners feeling they "can't even breathe right" Need for feedback without micromanaging "Tit-for-tat" exhaustion competitions in relationships Competing over who works harder or feels more tired Insecurity over having a fun or unconventional job Realization both partners can be exhausted at once Small arguments revealing deeper emotional triggers Validation working better than comparison or competition "I'm sorry that's happening to you" as a powerful response One-upping struggles making partners feel invalidated Dismissive responses blaming doomscrolling or drinking People defaulting to problem-solving instead of empathy Emotional connection described as the core of relationships People often wanting to vent instead of getting advice Joke about a prerecorded validation soundboard Validation still helping even when it feels scripted Asking whether someone wants advice or just listening Relief from learning you do not always need to fix problems Pretending to listen while mentally drifting to fantasy football Feeling supported mattering more than perfect attention Introduction of "the story in your head" relationship concept People creating internal narratives about others' behavior Therapy discussion about the "negative partner story" Same interaction interpreted completely differently by partners Steak order example showing confidence versus high maintenance Fear of rejection fueling negative relationship assumptions Unfinished chores interpreted as proof of being unimportant Criticism often masking deeper hurt feelings Asking for context instead of assuming bad intentions Defensive partners feeling like constant failures Perception that some partners "want to be mad" Discussion of emotional addiction to anger Observation about radio personalities struggling with sadness Repeated unresolved conflicts hardening negative assumptions Couples eventually viewing each other as manipulative Gambling used as an example of false narratives Reminder that people rarely know others' full motives Using "the story I told myself" instead of accusations Softer communication reducing defensiveness Accusing motives as fact shutting down conversations Childhood relationship patterns projected onto partners Withdrawal and defensiveness mistaken for manipulation Difference between manipulators and misunderstood partners Calling someone manipulative ending productive dialogue Describing emotions instead of accusing intent Allowing room for clarification instead of blame "Master manipulators" compared to magicians with superpowers Importance of boundaries with manipulative people Staying curious instead of certain during conflict Speaking from personal experience during arguments Mention of the book "The Cost of Quiet" Promotion of the podcast "Insights from the Couch" Celebration of reaching 100 podcast episodes Observation that most podcasts fail after a few episodes Comparison between failed podcasts and unsold books ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

    46 min
  6. LTN 30 - Piles of Secrets

    30 Apr

    LTN 30 - Piles of Secrets

    Love Thy Neighbor rebranding discussion and tone shift Dan jokes about appearance, gray sideburns, unshaven look Beard dye trends and contrast of gray vs dark facial hair Ska band and exaggerated character comparisons Listener email segment kicks off after backlog Husband obsessed with Instagram coastal minimalist aesthetic Comparing real life to influencer homes, bodies, vacations Pressure on wife to match size 0 influencer standards Resentment over not affording influencer lifestyle Husband asks wife to get in shape for photos Criticism framed as creative growth, dismissing feelings Emotional disconnect and absence from family life Wife feels she is competing with fantasy lifestyle Social media addiction impacting relationship expectations Coastal aesthetic explained as beach chic Hamptons vibe Hosts react to absurd social media pressure on spouse Therapist angle on unmet emotional needs behind fixation Body criticism and comparison harming relationship trust Example of body criticism contributing to divorce Attraction, communication, and sensitivity in long term relationships Advice to have honest conversation about emotional impact Suggestion to find compromise around shared interests Balance partner interests with respect and emotional safety Reframing messy life as authentic and positive Social media lifestyles described as staged and performative Influencer content compared to curated family content Obsession tied to unmet needs outside relationship Encourage expressing loneliness and competition feelings Competing attachment where hobbies replace partner connection Examples of identity consuming hobbies and social circles Risk of hobbies leading to emotional or physical affairs Debate on control vs trust in relationships Focus on where emotional energy is directed Importance of restoring emotional presence in relationship Social media addiction fueling dissatisfaction and comparison Algorithms shaping feeds and attraction patterns Cultural shift in expressing attraction publicly Decline of catcalling and public objectification norms Modern expectations around respectful comments Debate on giving compliments appropriately Suggestion wife consider leaving due to behavior Reminder emails reflect one sided perspective Advice to communicate without blame and clarify feelings Miscommunication driven by tone and body language People interpret words through personal experience Importance of clarifying meaning in conversations Warning against serious discussions over text Long distance relationship maintained through constant Zoom Emotional exhaustion from nonstop virtual interaction Relationship fading despite constant communication Question of sustainability without physical presence Need for plan to reunite in person Lack of touch and intimacy weakening bond Digital only relationships not sustainable long term Spouse hides 165000 in student loan debt Conflict over secrecy and financial transparency Trust breach seen as core issue Debate over shared vs individual debt Secrecy more damaging than financial burden Hidden decisions compared to secret luxury purchase Pattern of hiding actions to avoid conflict Therapy insight on secrecy from fear of disapproval Importance of honesty even if partner disagrees Balance independence with transparency in marriage Secrecy creating bigger relationship problems Different views on full transparency vs privacy Emotional intimacy requires openness Some prefer limited knowledge creating different dynamics Show format note chaotic start advice middle humor end People avoid conflict due to partner reactions Importance of maintaining identity in relationships Encourage asserting needs respectfully The Cost of Quiet book mention Wrap up of relationship advice segment ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://x.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

    47 min
  7. LTN 29 - The Kids Are Alright

    24 Apr

    LTN 29 - The Kids Are Alright

    Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

    47 min
  8. LTN 28 - Are They Into Me

    16 Apr

    LTN 28 - Are They Into Me

    Show intro jokes about smooth opening and host banter Colette praised for wide range of talks and promo work Desire to do more public speaking but lacking demand Upcoming Rollins College talk on communication and conflict Online dating class with Wing Girl on sustaining attraction Focus on connection after early dating stages Zoom classes for global audience comfort Older men dating younger women discussion Ethics and realism of large age gaps Kate Hudson libido comments referenced Debate on biological attraction vs emotional connection Preference for partners closer in age Discomfort with dating very young adults Attraction seen as situational not always intentional Relationship dynamics vary by needs and personality Some prefer submissive partners, others reject it Attraction to confidence, intelligence, independence Questioning father-daughter dynamic relationships Acknowledging some age-gap relationships are healthy Transactional relationships can still include care Emphasis on consent and awareness in dynamics Self-improvement before dating others Be yourself means improve, not stay stagnant Importance of communication and social skills Difference between casual dating and meaningful connection Key traits: kindness, curiosity, attentiveness Thoughtfulness stands out in disconnected culture Attraction can grow from consistency over time Preference for steady behavior over love bombing Balance showing interest without overwhelming Emotional connection built through deeper conversations Listener question on knowing romantic interest Confusion between friendliness and flirting Physical touch as possible but unreliable signal Importance of emotional awareness and perception Cultural habits influence touch and behavior Signs of interest: leaning in, engagement, attention Difficulty reading signals accurately Friendships can evolve into relationships Friend zone debate not always permanent Rejection experiences and emotional impact Asking directly for clarity encouraged Clear communication reduces uncertainty Risk of changing dynamic when asking Better to clarify early to avoid deeper hurt Soft rejection phrasing suggested Attraction often immediate and subconscious Sometimes attraction grows, often it does not Courage needed to ask despite fear Rejection seen as useful information Clarity helps decision making in relationships Avoid situationships by defining intent early Vulnerability required for real connection Practice builds resilience to rejection Confidence grows through repeated rejection Humor and personality increase dating success Example of David Spade success style Nikki Glaser relationship dynamic discussed Non monogamy acknowledged but not preferred Open relationships carry emotional risks Jealousy and attachment complications noted Celebrity rumor: Mike Vrabel and Diana Russini Debate over interpreting public photos Physical closeness suggests blurred boundaries Environment adds suspicion to behavior New attraction visible through behavior Emotional involvement possible without cheating Gender bias in public backlash discussed Impact of cheating scandals on families Some couples stay together after scandals Controversy turned into career opportunities Monica Lewinsky reputation shift discussed Power imbalance in Clinton scandal noted Media bias against women highlighted Double standards in infidelity narratives Satirical take on defending male figures Promo for Fairvilla Megastore talk Topic: The Cost of Quiet and communication Importance of discussing sex and intimacy Taboo around intimacy harms relationships Encouragement to improve communication Closing jokes and outro banter

    46 min
See All (40)

About

Love Thy Neighbor is a straight-talk relationship show from Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and licensed therapist Colette J. Fehr - born the day Colette knocked on their door and they realized they were literal next-door neighbors. Together, they bring 50 years of broadcasting (Dan 30, Tom 20) and 15 years of clinical counseling (Colette), plus real-life reps: Tom's 20-year marriage, Dan's 15-year marriage, and Colette's second, thriving chapter. Expect humor, empathy, and practical advice from both sides of the wall. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.

Information

  • Creator
    Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and Colette Fehr
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    40
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025
  • Show Website
    Love Thy Neighbor Show

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