Luke and Pete Talking Sheet

Luke and Pete

Honest, outrageous, distasteful, obscene, coarse and vulgar and that’s just what their friends say... Luke Craig and Peter Rethinasamy are two Stand-up comedians and best friends who are sick and tired of the polished conversations they hear spewing out of the main stream media. The constant tip toeing around what these people think is driving them insane. Tune in for an honest chat on a range of subjects and Dilemmas sent in from their listeners. Beware they don’t hold back. With over 500,000 social media and Youtube subscribers in under 9 months be a part of something that may just turn out to be a game changer!

  1. 20 JAN

    “Why Do White Women Love LUBE So Much?” | EP176 Luke & Pete

    This week the boys talk about noticing a pattern that white women are really into LUBE and they tell each other their experiences. They also have a question from a Sheetster about when is it appropriate to just let a friendship they’ve outgrown die? That and plenty more chaos, honesty, and accidental oversharing in this week’s episode. 0:00 please don’t join if you if you can’t take a joke  3:08 Will my son want to like me one day? + charlotte is like Pete’s mum 26:10 “white women love lube” + selfish lover  37:52 Adam 22 let another man sleep with his wife now gonna fight him in the ring for money  46:26 how do you let a friendship die? 1:12:59 family members who want money  1:20:55 Fake scratch card prank too much  🎧 Podcast ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6 ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683 Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete  to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app. Find Peter Rethinasamy @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677 Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902 Find Luke Craig @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig

    1hr 33min
  2. 13 JAN

    The secret to a long, happy marriage (it’s not what you think) | EP175 Luke & Pete

    What’s the real trait you need for a long, happy marriage?(It’s not what you think, and it’s going to annoy a lot of people.) Elsewhere, Pete is furious with the cast of Stranger Things, claiming that if he’d been given the chance, he’d have absolutely smashed it and carried the show on his back. Netflix, call him. And finally, we meet a man whose entire Christmas was destroyed… by a Deliveroo driver. Marriage truths, Hollywood delusion, and festive devastation — all in one episode. The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone! 👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind). Don’t miss it! To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list. If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail Help@lukeandPete.com or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜 Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss  https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete 0:00 Pete jealous of stranger things stars + and having envy  9:53 letting strangers into your life  11:38 best trait to have a happy marriage  19:54 Life after fame  24:25 Pete didn’t know Jordan’s where from Micheal Jordan  26:44 child stars + not working  35:56 36 year old woman sleeps with two boys  43:31 Shout out to one of our sick Sheetsters  46:48 “are we narcissists?” 51:52 “I hold grudges” 57:25 I can’t make new friends  1:05:35 no empathy + loved ones dying  1:12:06 Dilemma about delivery driver  Full video episode: On Youtube & Spotify  🎧 Podcast ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6 ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683 Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete  to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app. Find Peter Rethinasamy @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677 Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902 Find Luke Craig @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig

    1hr 49min
  3. 6 JAN

    “I Hate When Women Do This in the Bedroom” | EP174 Luke & Pete

    On this week’s episode, the boys have a very good time breaking down what actually makes bad sex… bad. The conversation spirals into a list of emotional words that don’t exist in English, which unexpectedly unlocks a bunch of stories you rarely hear out loud. And Pete shares a hilarious tale about his dad ignoring instructions and somehow turning it into a very avoidable (and very funny) accident. The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone! 👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind). Don’t miss it! To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list. If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail Help@lukeandPete.com or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜 Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss  https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete 0:00 Luke & Pete bind over someone they HATE! 3:36 Bad moods & Panic attacks   7:29 What my brother Found in My House After Being Away Too Long 9:36 stress as an excuse for being fat  11:08 When Embarrassment Is a Management Style 16:07 Pete couldn’t be a CEO 17:09 Divorce Saved Him Millions 18:19 Pete hates management he know all their tricks  23:02 My kids make me feel so vulnerable I have anxiety  27:03 dealing with death  29:44 Pete’s dad funny Christmas story  35:59 Emotions English Has No Word For 40:46 Am I a cuck? 43:26 man does adult videos with his own brother  45:21 fake taxi  47:15 back to the words  52:42 stories of Pete being a dad  58:30 more words  1:00:00 Pete is a very jealous person  1:02:57 making horrible jokes isn’t funny  1:13:19 more words  1:17:17 bad sex  1:23:17 The filth!!!!! 1:24:49 more words  Full video episode: On Youtube & Spotify  🎧 Podcast ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6 ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683 Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete  to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app. Find Peter Rethinasamy @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677 Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902 Find Luke Craig @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig

    1hr 34min
  4. 30/12/2025

    Accidental Racism, Cheating & Naked wrestling | EP173

    This week we ask the big questions: why would a man cheat after 30 years of loyalty? If someone says something racist by accident, should it be held against them? Pete also finds himself defending naked wrestling. Plus, we tackle a listener dilemma about escaping a life of crime with no money saved — do you risk one last push to get ahead, or settle for a low-paid job that could become a lifelong trap? The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone! 👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind). Don’t miss it! To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list. If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail Help@lukeandPete.com or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜 Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss  https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete 0:00 we’ve had some complaints  3:54 Cutting out screens, sugar and sex for the new year  7:54 Pete doesn’t think he need to change anything  10:46 Ai ruining our creativity + stealing ideas  23:01 octopus have nine brains and can taste with their arms 24:23 taking advantage of aliens + why would he cheat after 30 years of being faithful? 29:06 life must look different from the top  31:20 Pete is proud he learnt something new  34:07 when someone says something racist by accident  36:34 crab mentality + bringing poor and famous  54:29 Pete justifies his naked wrestling  57:37 man leaves girlfriend because of how many men she’s been with  1:04:28 people who have no empathy + borrowing money and not paying it back  1:10:39 Question: I’m trying to leave a life of crime but haven’t saved any money, what should I do? Full video episode: On Youtube & Spotify  🎧 Podcast ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6 ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683 Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete  to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app. Find Peter Rethinasamy @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677 Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902 Find Luke Craig @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig

    1hr 41min
  5. 23/12/2025

    Christmas (audio only )Special 2025 | EP172 Luke & Pete (audio)

    (audio Version) On this weeks episode Pete gets in the Christmas spirit and has a drink and the boys answer some intimate questions from one of the Sheetsters. And they play a game the only way they can play it, with complete chaos. The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone! 👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind). Don’t miss it! To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list. If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail Help@lukeandPete.com or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜 Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss  https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete 0:00 Tour news  3:22 Was I verbally abused in front of my daughter? 6:01 Pete upset French won’t speak English to him in France  9:00 Stealing from supermarkets(only joking)  16:22 the stinkiest fish ever  19:20 intimate personal questions from the sheetsters x4  51:33 Pakistani baby  56:25 Christmas Crakers  1:02:13 Game time  1:35:02 Dilemma: seeing a woman for 3 weeks should we do Christmas presents?

    1hr 50min
  6. 23/12/2025

    Christmas Special 2025 | EP172 Luke & Pete

    On this weeks episode Pete gets in the Christmas spirit and has a drink and the boys answer some intimate questions from one of the Sheetsters. And they play a game the only way they can play it, with complete chaos. The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone! 👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind). Don’t miss it! To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list. If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail Help@lukeandPete.com or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜 Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss  https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete 0:00 Tour news  3:22 Was I verbally abused in front of my daughter? 6:01 Pete upset French won’t speak English to him in France  9:00 Stealing from supermarkets(only joking)  16:22 the stinkiest fish ever  19:20 intimate personal questions from the sheetsters x4  51:33 Pakistani baby  56:25 Christmas Crakers  1:02:13 Game time  1:35:02 Dilemma: seeing a woman for 3 weeks should we do Christmas presents?  Full video episode: On Youtube & Spotify  🎧 Podcast ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6 ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683 Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete  to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app. Find Peter Rethinasamy @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677 Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902 Find Luke Craig @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig

    1hr 50min
  7. 16/12/2025

    Is My Neighbour Racist… Or Am I Just Overreacting? | EP171

    On this week’s episode, the boys tackle a dilemma from a couple dealing with a neighbour who gets up to some questionable behaviour. Alongside plenty more chaos, they also discuss the unbelievable story of a man who lived with his wife for 20 years without speaking to her. The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone! 👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind). Don’t miss it! To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list. If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail Help@lukeandPete.com or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜 Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss  https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete 0:00 Tour news  3:17 Trouble in Patreon Land  4:51 My wife has deformed toes shout her out.  9:56 Man lived with wife and didn’t speak for 20 years  12:33 living with your dad and not talking  18:00 the courage to be disliked  28:34 our dreams are getting bigger  29:35 you will better off if you were once homeless  35:26 the adoption process is weird  41:43 when teaching your child a lesson goes horribly wrong  54:56 Having a partner makes me more vulnerable (home intruder act out) 1:07:35 “I know someone who shot their friend by accident” 1:09:04 how do I deal with my (maybe) racist neighbour? 1:14:06 Pete got too excited at the last Patreon show lol 1:16:53 back to racist dilemma  1:19:12 would you want to live with guns in England? 1:21:22 have you ever had to deal with racist neighbours?  1:29:25 Big thank you to those that came to the work in progress  Full video episode: On Youtube & Spotify  🎧 Podcast ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6 ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683 Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete  to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app. Find Peter Rethinasamy @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677 Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902 Find Luke Craig @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig

    1hr 42min
  8. 09/12/2025

    Testing Pete’s Jamaican Knowledge…”The Results Are Shocking 😂” | EP170 Luke & Pete

    On this weeks episode Luke quizzes Pete to see if he knows the meaning of Jamaican words. An older woman dating a younger Jamaican man is suspicious, “Is he only dating me for a visa?” And a dilemma form a woman who feels trapped by her bitter disabled husband. The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone! 👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind). Don’t miss it! To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list. If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail Help@lukeandPete.com or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜 Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss  https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete 0:00 Intro  5:04 Life expectancy  10:12 Gay Wool clothing  12:12 Pete left me to get St*bbed  21:52 female athlete proposes to her male  partner  28:20 Strong woman winner turns out to be a man 36:04 We love gay people (not in a gay way🤣) 39:20 How do people think so fast in sport? 47:20 Dilemma: Is my partner only saying with me for immigration reasons? 53:06 How much Jamaican (patois) does Pete know? 1:07:42 Dilemma: My partner was in a serious accident now he’s bitter and I feel trapped   Full video episode: On Youtube & Spotify  🎧 Podcast ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6 ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683 Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete  to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app. Find Peter Rethinasamy @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677 Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902 Find Luke Craig @: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig

    1hr 50min

About

Honest, outrageous, distasteful, obscene, coarse and vulgar and that’s just what their friends say... Luke Craig and Peter Rethinasamy are two Stand-up comedians and best friends who are sick and tired of the polished conversations they hear spewing out of the main stream media. The constant tip toeing around what these people think is driving them insane. Tune in for an honest chat on a range of subjects and Dilemmas sent in from their listeners. Beware they don’t hold back. With over 500,000 social media and Youtube subscribers in under 9 months be a part of something that may just turn out to be a game changer!

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