Psychologists Off the Clock

Debbie Sorensen, Jill Stoddard, Yael Schonbrun, Michael Herold & Emily Edlynn

We are five experts in psychology, bringing you science-backed ideas that can help you flourish in your work, relationships, and health.

  1. 4 days ago

    477. Beyond Belief with Nir Eyal

    What if some of the things you believe most strongly aren’t actually facts—but tools you’re using to navigate a complicated world? In this bittersweet final interview for Psychologists Off the Clock, Jill Stoddard welcomes back Nir Eyal, author of Beyond Belief: The Science-Backed Way to Stop Limiting Yourself and Achieve Extraordinary Results. Nir was Jill’s very first guest when she joined the podcast, making this conversation a fitting bookend to her time on POTC. Together, they explore how our beliefs shape motivation, perception, pain, relationships, and our ability to create lasting change. Nir explains why beliefs are different from facts or faith, and why treating beliefs as tools rather than truths can give us more flexibility. He shares his personal story of struggling with his weight, how changing his beliefs helped him persist, and what his experience with Pain Reprocessing Therapy taught him about chronic pain. You’ll hear why “seeing is believing” is only half the story, how our expectations can change our experience of pain and pleasure, why venting may reinforce the very beliefs that keep us stuck, and how expanding your portfolio of perspectives can create more freedom in relationships and everyday life. Join Jill and Nir for a fascinating conversation about the power of belief—and a reminder that feeling bad isn’t necessarily bad. Sometimes, pain comes with purpose. Listen and Learn: Why beliefs are neither facts nor faith, but flexible “working models” that help us navigate reality when the truth isn’t fully knowableHow beliefs influence motivation, behavior, and persistence—and why believing you can succeed may be just as important as knowing what to doNir’s personal weight-loss journey and how searching for the “one true” diet ultimately got in the way of persistenceWhy beliefs can be powerful tools even when we can’t prove that they are objectively true, and how choosing beliefs that serve us can change the way we respond to everyday challengesHow attention shapes perception, why our brains rely on predictions and prior beliefs, and what the classic checkerboard illusion teaches us about seeing realityThe relationship between beliefs, expectations, pain, and suffering—including what Nir learned from Pain Reprocessing Therapy and the surprising power of the brain to change the experience of chronic painWhy feeling bad isn’t necessarily bad, and how redefining discomfort as something that can accompany purpose may help us stop avoiding the experiences that matterHow placebo and nocebo effects demonstrate the powerful role of expectations, and why beliefs can influence our experience through changes in behavior and biologyWhy venting can reinforce negative beliefs about other people, and how “getting it off your chest” may provide short-term relief while making us angrier in the long runHow Inquiry-Based Stress Reduction can help us loosen rigid beliefs by developing a broader “portfolio” of possible perspectives rather than forcing ourselves to replace one belief with anotherNir’s personal transformation in his relationship with his mother, and how questioning assumptions about other people can create more flexibility without requiring them to changeHow expanding our beliefs can create “wiggle room” to respond more flexibly, reconnect with our values, and take responsibility for our own contribution to difficult situationsResources: Nir’s book Beyond Belief: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593852033 Free belief change guide is here: www.nirandfar.com/beyond-belief-liveBonus content and the 30-Day Belief Transformation Journal is here: nirandfar.com/beyond-beliefWebsite: http://nirandfar.comLinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/nireyal/Instagram - http://instagram.com/nireyalPrevious books: Hooked: geni.us/hookedIndistractable: geni.us/Indistractable About Nir Eyal: Nir Eyal writes, consults, and teaches about the intersection of psychology, technology, and human potential. He previously taught at the Stanford Graduate School of Business and the Hasso Plattner Institute of Design at Stanford. He is the author of the international bestsellers Hooked and Indistractable, which have sold more than a million copies in more than 30 languages. His latest book, Beyond Belief: The Science-Backed Way to Stop Limiting Yourself and Achieve Extraordinary Results, explores the science of beliefs and how they influence our perceptions, behaviors, and ability to create lasting change. The book recently reached the New York Times bestseller list. Nir is also an active angel investor whose portfolio includes multi-billion-dollar companies such as Canva and Kahoot!. He blogs at NirAndFar.com and has published writing in The New York Times and Harvard Business Review. He is also a regular contributor to Psychology Today. Related Episodes: 127. Indistractable with Nir Eyal 310. The Expectation Effect with David Robson 312. Throwback Episode! The Invisible Gorilla with Christopher Chabris 422. Mindwise with Nicholas Epley 443. Shift with Ethan Kross 458. The Pain/Brain Connection with Alan Gordon See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  2. 1 Sept

    475. What to Do When Your Partner is Depressed with David Dozois

    Navigating a loved one's mental health struggles can feel like walking a tightrope between wanting to save them and trying to keep your own head above water. In this episode, Dr. David Dozois from the University of Western Ontario highlights his book, What to Do When Your Partner Is Depressed, talking through the toll depression can take on relationships and why the supporting partner's experience so often goes unnoticed. He shares with us why our instinct to "fix" a partner's pain can often backfire, and offers up actionable strategies for giving real support, encouraging treatment, and how to shift from frustration to true connection, without taking on the role of an unpaid therapist. Plus, David touches on essential self-care, navigating tricky boundary dynamics, and safely approaching heavy, sensitive topics couples tend to avoid. Listen and Learn:  How clinical depression differs from ordinary sadness, how it impacts both partners in a relationship, and actionable, evidence-based strategies to support a depressed partner without burning out or sacrificing their own well-being The complexities of supporting a depressed partner and reveal why the human impulse to "fix" things often backfires, sharing research-backed strategies on how to move from wrestling with your partner to truly connecting with them first The art of true active listening, explaining why genuine empathy means tuning into your partner’s heart rather than just rehearsing your next response Framing depression as a shared "we" problem rather than an individual label to encourage a struggling partner to seek help without putting them on the defensive How non-depressed partners can support their loved one without burning out or slipping into the role of an unpaid therapist How excessive reassurance seeking can strain a relationship, and why setting compassionate boundaries and practicing response prevention are essential for long-term trustNavigating the delicate balance between self-care and supporting a loved one through depression  Resources:  David’s Website: https://dozoislab.comDavid’s book: What to Do When Your Partner Is Depressed: Supporting Your Loved One While Caring for Yourselfhttps://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/what-to-do-when-your-partner-is-depressedPre-order Yael’s new book, Why Don’t You Understand Me?: The Surprising Science Behind Connecting in a World of Missed Signals. Then fill out THIS form to get pre-order bonuses!Link to Yael’s newsletter and (for paid subscribers), a chance to win a copy of David’s book! About David Dozois David Dozois is a professor of psychology and psychiatry at the University of Western Ontario, where he directs the clinical psychology graduate program and studies cognitive vulnerability to depression, the "why" behind who gets stuck in depressive thinking and why it's so hard to climb out. He's published more than 200 scientific articles and books and has served as president of the Canadian Psychological Association twice. His new book, What to Do When Your Partner Is Depressed: Supporting Your Loved One While Caring for Yourself, tackles something couples therapists see constantly and talk about far too little: depression is never really a solo experience. It moves into the relationship and unpacks its bags. The partner who isn't depressed often becomes the default project manager of the household, the mood, and the marriage, all while getting none of the concern, support, or permission to fall apart themselves. David's work is a rare combination of rigorous science and genuinely useful, human advice for the partner nobody's checking in on. Related Episodes: 135. Power of Empathy and Motivational Interviewing with Stephen Rollnick255. Influence is Your Superpower with Zoe Chance397. The Mindful Path to Intimacy with James Cordova408. Connecting Like a Hostage Negotiator with Gary Noesner413. Validate with Caroline Fleck449. How to Feel Loved with Sonja Lyubomirsky and Harry Reis472. One Relationship, Two Brains with Cindy Ariel See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  3. 25 Aug

    474. Rethinking ADHD: Beyond Attention with Debbie Reber and Emily King

    Parenting a kid with ADHD takes way more than standard advice; it requires understanding a complex brain difference that impacts focus, sleep, big emotions, and daily energy. In this episode, child psychologist Dr. Emily King and TILT Parenting founder Debbie Reber join Emily to give their perspective on what neurodivergent parenting looks like by challenging the "disorder" label, unpacking why behaviors shift between home and school, and diving into hidden struggles like RSD, time blindness, and burnout. From navigating evaluations to handling the gap between your child's age and their developmental stage, this conversation offers the honest, evidence-based grounding every parent needs. Tune in now, and reach out to Emily Edlynn to learn more about her 1-on-1 parent coaching! Listen and Learn:  Should ADHD be framed as a medical disorder or a brain regulation difference?How pathologizing language impacts stigma, diagnosis, and access to support in both clinical and educational settings Why the name "ADHD" is misleading and how the disorder goes far beyond inattention and hyperactivity to affect emotional regulation, sleep, appetite, and energy management How to navigate the ADHD diagnosis process from choosing between a pediatrician and a full neuropsychological evaluation to gathering cross-environment data and shifting parent strategies for lasting behavioral change Overlooked ADHD traits that rarely get covered in formal evaluations and practical strategies to support your child without damaging their self-esteem How ADHD-related time blindness, task avoidance, and a lack of future-oriented thinking drive daily struggles like running late and better understanding your child's neurodivergent experience How emotional sensitivity, sensory processing, and energy regulation manifest in children with ADHD and autism and why a child's behavior can look so drastically different between home and school Why raising a neurodivergent child feels like "advanced parenting," and the deep isolation, constant judgment, and overwhelming family burnout that comes with it Resources: https://www.dremilyking.com/The Neurodivergent Learner https://www.learnwithdremily.com/bookhttps://www.learnwithdremily.com/bookhttps://www.instagram.com/emilywkingphd/https://www.facebook.com/emilywkingphdhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/emilywkingphd/https://www.debbiereber.com/Differently Wired: A Parent’s Guide to Raising an Atypical Child with Confidence and Hope https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781523506316https://www.facebook.com/DeborahReberAuthor/https://twitter.com/debbiereber Tilt Parenting Podcast 359 A Conversation with Dr. Emily Edlynn on Raising Autonomous ChildrenEmily Edlynn’s website – contact her directly if you are interested in a parent group! Emily Edlynn’s Substack pieces about ADHD:Raising ADHD: Beyond the DiagnosisRaising ADHD: Why Common Parenting Strategies Don’t WorkWhat the New York Times Got Wrong About ADHDUnderstanding This One Emotion Will Transform Your Parenting About Emily King and Debbie Reber Emily King is a child psychologist who has worked with neurodivergent learners for over 20 years. She received a Ph.D. in School Psychology from the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill and began her career in Houston, Texas specializing in school-based mental health in K-12 public schools. She has since worked in private practice in North Carolina supporting the mental health, executive functioning, and social needs of neurodivergent youth. Dr. Emily hosts the Learn with Dr. Emily Substack, where she provides parent workshops, is the creator of The Neurodiverse Classroom®, a professional development curriculum for educators, and her first book, THE NEURODIVERGENT LEARNER, came out on August 25th.  Debbie Reber is a parenting activist, bestselling author, speaker, and the founder of Tilt Parenting, a top resource for parents raising neurodivergent children. Since launching Tilt in 2016, Debbie has championed a strengths-based approach that reframes how society supports differently wired kids. Her groundbreaking book, Differently Wired, is widely recommended by professionals in education and mental health, and her Full-Tilt Parenting Podcast has 10+ million downloads, featuring leading voices in the intersection of parenting and neurodivergence. A parent coach and Positive Discipline trainer, Debbie has been featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, and on NewsNation, is a three-time TEDx speaker, and is a founding expert and advisor for HumanUp. She lives in the Netherlands with her husband and two cats, while her neurodivergent young adult attends university in Scotland. Related Episodes: 395. Neurodivergence with Jennifer Kemp367. ADHD in Adulthood with Michaela Thomas344. Differently Wired Kids with Deborah Reber319. Autonomy-Supportive Parenting with the AMAZING Emily Edlynn202. The Addiction Inoculation with Jess Lahey187. Raising a Child with ADHD with Russell Barkley See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  4. 18 Aug

    473. Are You Type C? with Kore Glied and Anna White

    If you’re the kind of person who is pathologically nice, physically incapable of saying "no," and constantly burning out to keep everyone else happy, you might actually have a Type C personality.  Debbie Sorensen chats with psychologist Kore Glied and former Wall Street exec Anna White to break down how this conflict-avoidant, super-pleaser trait differs from Types A and B and why hiding your true feelings takes such a heavy toll on your health, career, and relationships. You'll hear Anna open up about her own experience grinding straight through maternity leave until chronic fatigue hit, how these habits usually stem from early criticism or neglect, and how you can change these Type C patterns with a simple SASS framework. Tune in to find out how to Spot your hidden rules, Accept your own worth, Sit with tough emotions, and Say no thoughtfully.  Listen and Learn: What defines the Type C personalityAnna shares her personal story of growing up as a Type C personality and a cautionary story of how her "Type C" tendency to put work obligations above her own needs led her to work through a seven-week maternity leave How a personal journey through chronic illness and a chance discovery of the "Type C" personality traits How Type C personality traits develop, how cultural expectations and social rewards reinforce them, and how understanding these origins can help reduce feelings of blame and shame How Type C personalities are driven by guilt and recognizing the subtle patterns that prevent you from asserting your own worth How Type C personality traits can lead to unbalanced relationships, career burnout, and vulnerability to toxic dynamics in both the workplace and at home How Type C personality traits can impact parenting and healthThe practical "SASS" framework to build resilience and break people-pleasing habits  Resources: https://thetypecpersonality.com/ Debbie’s burnout appearance on the Type C personality podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6d7AIsfXM18njrNzZvd6Kd To preorder Kore and Anna’s book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/006349244X Kore’s Website https://www.drkorenissenson.com Anna’s care package company, Rest & Heal: https://restandheal.com About Kore Glied and Anna White  Dr. Kore Glied is a clinical psychologist based in New York City who specializes in helping adults manage anxiety disorders, including obsessive compulsive disorder, and insomnia. Before starting her private practice, she spent many years as an Assistant Professor of Psychology at several major New York City hospitals, including Montefiore Hospital, NYU Medical Center, and most recently, Mount Sinai Hospital. Dr. Glied uses evidence-based approaches such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to help clients get unstuck and build healthier, more fulfilling lives. Dr. Glied provides training and supervision in (ACT). She has published research on anxiety, trauma, and HIV-related health and has been invited to present her work at national conferences. In addition to her clinical work, Dr. Glied leads corporate wellness workshops focused on managing stress, anxiety, and building healthier relationships. She lives in Manhattan with her husband, two sons, and their dog. As a working mom, she understands the challenges of balancing career, family, and everything in between—and she’s the first to admit she doesn’t have it all figured out. Anna White is a former investments executive who spent 20 years working for a range of Wall Street firms in capital markets, private equity, equity research, and asset management. She experienced severe burnout at one point in her career which led to a chronic illness that was difficult to diagnose, treat, and recover from. Type C traits were a significant contributor to her declining health. After leaving corporate life, she founded a specialty care package company, Rest & Heal, which focuses on supporting women who have suffered hardship and/or illness through carefully curated gift packages meant to soothe, educate and re-energize the spirit. She holds a B.S. and M.B.A. in Business Administration from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Related Episodes:  447. Fawning with Ingrid Clayton 362. Adult Bullies and High Conflict People with Bill Eddy – Psychologists Off the Clock 276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson 186. Set Boundaries Find Peace with Nedra Tawwab 199. Belonging From the Inside Out with Meg McKelvie163. The Likeability Trap with Alicia Menendez399. Likable Badass with Alison Fragale   250. Anxiety and Perfectionism with Clarissa Ong 226. ACT for Perfectionism with Jennifer Kemp  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  5. 11 Aug

    472. One Relationship, Two Brains with Cindy Ariel

    Every couple has to learn how to accept their differences. But when you’re in a neurodiverse relationship, those differences aren't just quirks; they’re completely different ways of experiencing the world.  In this episode, we're getting real about love, autism, and how to actually understand each other in a conversation with psychologist and author Dr. Cindy Ariel, who drops by to chat about her book, Autism and the Two of Us. Cindy brings so many incredible insights to the table, including what autism actually is and why neurodiversity is just a normal variation of the human brain.  She also gets into the nuances of identity-first vs. person-first language and why those choices matter, and busts some major myths and talks about redefining what "typical" love even looks like.  Tune in for a genuinely eye-opening conversation on love, connection, and neurodiversity! Listen and Learn:  Framing neurodiversity as the natural spectrum of variation in human minds Why the assumption that autistic individuals cannot sustain meaningful partnerships is a misconception The need to move away from standard expectations of romantic behavior, and why neurotypical and autistic partners often express love in vastly different ways Actionable insights on how partners can translate each other's emotional signals to build deeper connections How neurodiverse and neurotypical partners often interpret the same situation in vastly different, yet equally valid ways Moving past rigid expectations and deadlocks by co-creating custom, "third-way" solutions that meet both partners' unique emotional and practical needs Overcoming the "closeness communication bias" by learning to treat your partner how they want to be treated rather than relying on default assumptions Navigateing deep neurological differences by letting go of diagnostic labels and distinguishing between normal incompatibility versus toxic behavior Resources:  Autism and the Two of Us: Love, Communication, and Neurodiversity https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/autism-and-the-two-of-us-how-understanding-each-other-can-help-you-build-a-stronger-lasting-love-cindy-n-ariel/b92004b21dec8780?ean=9781462560189&bkshp-astro=t alternativechoices.com Pre-order Yael’s book and get pre-order bonuses! (order 12 or more copies and I’ll join you on a Zoom for a 30-minute mini-workshop or Q&A!) About Cindy Ariel:  Cindy Ariel is a Philadelphia-based psychologist who has spent more than three decades at the intersection of psychology, neurodiversity, and intimate relationships. In 1992, she cofounded Alternative Choices, an independent group psychology practice known for its work with LGBTQ families and with individuals on the autism spectrum. She is the author of several books on neurodivergent relationships, including her newest, Autism and the Two of Us: How Understanding Each Other Can Help You Build a Stronger, Lasting Love (Guilford Press). Dr. Ariel is widely recognized for her work with neurodiverse couples, combining clinical insight with advocacy for understanding, acceptance, and the celebration of all kinds of minds. She was doing this work long before most people had a framework for thinking about autism in adulthood. Learn more at alternativechoices.com. Related Episodes: 186. Set Boundaries Find Peace with Nedra Tawwab263. Relationships with Emotionally Immature People with Lindsay Gibson449. How to Feel Loved with Sonja Lyubomirsky and Harry Reis467. Bonded by Evolution with Paul Eastwick See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  6. 4 Aug

    471. Motivational Interviewing with Kristin Dempsey

    What do you do as a mental health provider when a client walks into your office and flat-out refuses to be there, is silent, or is disengaged? In this episode, Michael chats with psychotherapist and Motivational Interviewing trainer Kristen Dempsey about her book, Advancing Motivational Interviewing, and how to actually navigate those cases. They get into why Motivational Interviewing works so well when a client is stuck on the fence and how these skills end up being surprisingly useful outside the clinic, too. Kristen also breaks down how MI can help to build real connection early on, why our instinct to "fix" people almost always backfires, and how to work with mandated clients without getting into a power struggle.  They also touch on practical group ideas, the whole concept of "lending hope," and how using MI might just save you from burning out. Tune in for the full chat! Listen and Learn:  How Motivational Interviewing (MI) helps clients uncover their own internal motivation for change Blending MI with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to meet clients where they are and navigate ambivalencePractical strategies for handling mandated and disengaged clients with the use of "comfort agreements," and offering flexible participation optionsHow practitioners can act as a "professional hoper" in Motivational Interviewing (MI) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) How MI can prevent burnout and cultivate deeper curiosity, compassion, and presence in relationships  Resources:  Advancing Motivational Interviewing: https://www.kristindempseycounseling.com/kristins-book-advancing-motivationalKristin’s Website: https://www.kristindempseycounseling.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristin-dempsey-ed-d-lpcc-lmft-322812a/ https://www.facebook.com/p/Kristin-L-Dempsey-LPCC-LMFT-100057356474362/https://www.instagram.com/kristin_d_author_trainer?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==&utm_source=qr MI Macrostack Collaboration: https://substack.com/@ali1850709/note/p-194642379?r=1tfnrv&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action Michael’s Confidence Course https://herold.coach/course   About Kristin Dempsey Kristin Dempsey is a psychotherapist, trainer, and counselor educator in the San Francisco Bay Area. She has over 30 years’ experience working with individuals, youth, and families with challenging behavioral issues that impact their lives, such as substance use disorders, co-occurring mental health and substance use disorders, trauma symptoms, and unresolved grief. Kristin believes that each individual has unlimited ability to change and grow, and she enjoys exploring the complexities of complex challenges and how to approach them with compassion and curiosity. Kristin has taught many classes in the counselor education curriculum, and she is currently focused on practitioner skill development, substance use disorder treatment, and effective practices in community mental health. Kristin is a member of the Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers (MINT), and she currently teaches motivational interviewing to behavioral health and other allied human services professionals. She is an adjunct professor at the Wright Institute’s Counseling Psychology Program and lecturing faculty at San Francisco State University. Kristin is the author of The Harm Reduction Workbook for Addiction (New Harbinger, 2024), co-author of Advancing Motivational Interviewing: An Experiential Skills Guide for Mental Health Professionals (PESI, April 2026), and a writer for The Mental Health and Substance Use Recovery Workbook (New Harbinger, May 2027). Related Episodes: 135. Power of Empathy and Motivational Interviewing with Stephen Rollnick66. Helping People Change Using Motivational Interviewing With Nadine Mastroleo402. Harm Reduction for Addiction with Kristin Dempsey See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  7. 14 Jul

    468. Joyful and Impactful Climate Choices with Elizabeth Dunn and Jiaying Zhao

    Sometimes saving the planet can feel like a massive, exhausting guilt trip.  In this episode, Debbie sits down with University of British Columbia professors Elizabeth Dunn and Jiaying Zhao to talk about their book, Leave the Lights On: How Joyful Decisions Can Save Our Species.  Their main point is about the whole "you must be perfect" climate messaging is totally backfiring, and focusing on joyful, high-impact changes is actually what keeps people motivated. Jiaying breaks down a massive 63-country study showing how scare tactics just make people want to shut down, and the duo debunks some common eco-myths. It turns out that obsessing over turning off the lights or choosing the perfect reusable bag doesn't move the needle much. Instead, they shout out smarter, high-leverage moves like treating beef and lamb as occasional splurges, eating more plants, and traveling lighter.  They also get into how to influence the people around you by making sustainable choices easy, attractive, and non-political, proving that individual habits and big systemic changes (like voting) both matter. Listen and Learn:  How "doom and gloom" climate messaging actually backfires by discouraging real-world actionSurprising insights from a massive global study of 60,000 participants across 63 countriesFinding joyful, climate-friendly lifestyle changes to create a positive feedback loop that makes us happier and more motivated to protect the planet How making practical, high-impact shifts in your daily habits like smarter food choices can create a truly sustainable difference for both you and the planetData-backed truth behind common environmental myths and how to easily focus your energy on the daily lifestyle choices that actually make a high-impact difference for the planet  How to significantly lower your carbon footprint without sacrificing the foods you loveReducing your carbon footprint without giving up the joy of travel by mastering the art of packing light, making smarter flight choices, and embracing the unexpected adventure of staycations How to inspire positive behavior change in others without lecturing them on climate change Why individual action and systemic change are not a false dichotomy, but rather a powerful partnership where local community engagement can drive larger policy shifts and boost your personal happiness  Resources:  Leave the Lights On: How Joyful Decisions Can Save Our Specieswww.happyclimate.org Book Debbie mentioned: Soil: The Story of a Black Mother's Garden, by Camille T. DungyDebbie’s essay about the drought in Denver, with pictures of her low-water garden: https://drdebbiesorensen.substack.com/p/drought-dispatches-from-denver  About Elizabeth Dunn  Elizabeth Dunn is Professor of Psychology at the University of British Columbia and coauthor of Happy Money. She directs UBC’s Happy Lab, which focuses on how to optimize valuable resources including time, money, and carbon to maximize human well-being. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, The Atlantic, TIME, Rolling Stone, and Harvard Business Review; and on numerous podcasts and television shows, including Hidden Brain, NPR’s Short Wave, The Happiness Lab, Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris, Morning Joe, and CBS Mornings. Dunn spoke on the TED mainstage in 2019, and her talk was selected as one of the top ten TED talks of the year. About Jiaying Zhao Jiaying Zhao (JZ) is Professor of Psychology and Sustainability and founded the Behavioral Sustainability Lab at the University of British Columbia, which designs and tests behavioral solutions that encourage climate action. She has worked with NASA, NOAA, and the US and Canadian Forest Service to develop pathways to net zero. Zhao has appeared on numerous podcasts and in documentary films, including Why Is This Happening? With Chris Hayes and Close the Divide. Her research has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, TIME, The Economist, Scientific American, CNN, and NBC. In 2023, Zhao gave a TED talk on climate strategies rooted in happiness, which was selected as one of the top TED Talks to be a better you in 2024. Related Episodes: 262. Hope and Values in Dark Times with Us 255. Influence is Your Superpower with Zoe Chance 215. How to Change with Katy Milkman 371. Uniting Toward a Better Future with Diana McLain Smith 431. Ordinary Magic: Social Psychology for Big Change with Gregory Walton  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  8. 7 Jul

    467. Bonded by Evolution with Paul Eastwick

    Are we being lied to about the science of attraction? In this episode, UC Davis relationship scientist and author of Bonded by Love: The New Science of Human Attachment, Paul Eastwick, challenges the massive online narratives around "mate value," hardwired gender differences, and dating strategies. It turns out a lot of the viral relationship theories we see online are built on shaky evidence, relying on photos and surveys rather than real, live human interaction. Paul explains why what we say we want on paper almost never predicts who we actually fall for in person. He redefines compatibility not as a rigid trait-matching algorithm, but as something unique that two people construct together over time. If you're ready to look past the internet's rigid dating rules and see how attraction actually works in the wild, tune in. [And if you are interested in pre-ordering Yael’s book, Why Don’t You Understand Me?, this link will take you to the larger booksellers, while THIS link will take you to her pre-order bonus form. Thank you for supporting Yael’s book launch! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeq8tfQnl1o5GvfxrIrDzeOFtIvB8E16czMKajY3B8IDy1oww/viewform] Listen and Learn: The "Evo script" and the popular, outdated evolutionary psychology myths that dominate modern dating advice and why the latest science challenges its assumptions about mate value, gender differences, and relationship strategies Why popular evolutionary psychology models fail to predict real-world relationship success, and learn how relationship science reveals a far less competitive and much more hopeful reality of how we actually choose and stay with our partners Why the way we evaluate romantic partners on paper or dating apps is completely different from how we judge them in person The surprising scientific truth that our abstract checklists for a romantic partner rarely predict real compatibility, discovering instead how long-term satisfaction is built through shared experiences rather than finding someone who matches a mental template How actual data debunks extreme evolutionary psychology scripts about gender differences, revealing that men and women are much more aligned in their romantic and sexual desires than popular media and online advice suggest Why the concept of "mate value" and physical attractiveness only matter for short-term dating and initial impressions, while true long-term relationship success depends on compatibility that partners uniquely construct together rather than a predictable algorithm How relationship satisfaction and compatibility are not predetermined by matching personality traits, but are instead actively constructed through vulnerability, open-minded interactions, and the unpredictable connections built within real-world social networks Why platonic friendships between heterosexual men and women are not only entirely possible but also deeply enriching, mind-expanding, and a proven positive predictor for finding a romantic partner in the long run The major drawbacks of online dating, learn why you should wait until the third date before making a decision, and find out how a "failed" date can actually help you find your next match  Resources: Bonded by Love: The New Science of Human Attachment https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593593981https://www.lovefactuallypod.com/http://pauleastwick.com/pauleastwick https://linktr.ee/pauleastwick  About Paul Eastwick Paul Eastwick is a professor of psychology at UC Davis, where he runs the Attraction and Relationships Research Laboratory. His work sits at the intersection of evolutionary psychology, social psychology, and close relationships research, meaning he has spent his career asking why people fall for who they fall for, and whether the stories we tell ourselves about that process hold up to scientific scrutiny. His new book, Bonded by Love: The New Science of Human Attachment, makes a sweeping argument: the dominant narrative about human mating — attraction as hierarchy, competition, genetic optimization — isn't just incomplete. It's wrong in ways that matter. The real science of how humans form lasting bonds is, if anything, more interesting and more hopeful than what we've been sold. His research has been funded by the National Science Foundation, he sits on the editorial boards of several major psychology journals, and he has the rare combination of scientific rigor and personal candor. Paul is also the co-host of Love Factually, a podcast he runs with Northwestern relationship researcher Eli Finkel, which fact-checks Hollywood rom-coms one movie at a time (and which happens to be one of Yael’s favorite binge-listens). Related Episodes: 63. The Ape That Understood the Universe with Steve Stewart-Williams92. Marriage in Midlife with Daphne de Marneffe179. How to Be an Adult in Relationships with Dave Richo248. Let’s Talk about Sex & Intimacy with Zoë Kors 397. The Mindful Path to Intimacy with James Cordova See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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