Human & Holy

Tonia Chazanow

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Judaism
Every two weeks

Honest, spiritual conversations to unravel the essence of the human experience. Exploring Jewish & Chassidic wisdom, women's Torah, and the lived experience of Judaism. Hosted by Tonia Chazanow. Learn more about Human & Holy's work at humanandholy.com.

12 hr ago

The Moment That Stuck | Inbal Levin: Our Light is Our Weapon

Human & Holy is on a season break for the rest of the summer! During this time, we're airing your favorite moments from the past few seasons. Watch the original episode in full here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3u2c4ErF-4 In this excerpt, we discuss why being "chosen" isn't a status, but a responsibility to model moral clarity for a world that's lost it. Why the Lubavitcher Rebbe called Shabbos candles a campaign, a mitzvah, an army, and why that language matters more after October 7th than it ever has before. Why the Haggadah spends almost no time on our slavery and nearly all of it on our freedom, and what that says about the story we choose to live inside of right now. This is an episode about the difference between reporting on darkness and building light, and why Inbal chooses the second one, every single day. Inbal Levin is a writer, former fashion model, and social media director for Chabad on Campus. You can connect with her via instagram @itsinbal. * * * * * * * To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at info@humanandholy.com To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. * * * * * * * TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 — Being chosen means holding up a mirror 07:21 — The Seven Noahide Laws and moral clarity for everyone 09:02 — The Baal Shem Tov's answer to "Moshiach, when are you coming?" 11:24 — Trusting Hashem in the long security line and the delayed flight 14:15 — How every Jewish girl, age three and up, started lighting Shabbos candles 18:03 — The menorah they wouldn't let into Auschwitz 20:14 — Why the Rebbe used military language for mitzvahs 23:25 — Choosing to build light instead of reporting on darkness 26:15 — What Dara Horn's People Love Dead Jews gets right 26:56 — The Rebbe never said the word "antisemitism": what the Haggadah teaches about what you choose to emphasize 30:53 — Closing thought: you're not just living a story, you're choosing which one it is
9 Aug

The Moment that Stuck | Chanie Krasnianski: The Soul of Intimacy

Human & Holy is on a season break for the rest of the summer! During this time, we're airing your favorite moments from the past few seasons. Watch the original episode in full here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_0i0EAAC_4 This excerpt with Chanie Krasnianski explores the Jewish view on sexual intimacy and marriage. We explore the soul-level magnetism between men and women that is sourced in the creation of the world, and talk honestly about the lived experience: what it means when attraction shows up outside your marriage, why halacha starts to feel like a checklist the second you lose the relationship underneath it, and what it looks like to reclaim the mikvah as an immersion into light instead of one more item on the list. We also sit in the places that don't resolve as cleanly: religious guilt, growing spiritually at a different pace than your spouse, wanting closeness during niddah and not always getting it, and navigating personal discomfort around immersion in the mikvah. Mrs. Chanie Krasnianski is the shlucha in the Upper East Side in Manhattan, NY and a seasoned educator and Torah teacher. Contact Chanie at ckrasnianski@gmail.com. * * * * * * * To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at info@humanandholy.com To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. * * * * * * *TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 — The soul-level reason for attraction between husband and wife 04:05 — Attraction outside your marriage: where it's really coming from 07:23 — Halacha as relationship, not checklist 10:32 — When the framework feels restricting, not freeing 12:44 — "We're human, not angels" 13:58 — Trust in Hashem, and the mikvah as immersion into light 20:18 — Bare minimum vs. growing on purpose 22:11 — Why halacha is freedom, not restriction 24:16 — Body image and privacy at the mikvah 26:30 — The headstand story 29:18 — Checking in with yourself when you won't call a rabbi 30:35 — Why none of us are objective about our own lives 37:53 — Calling a rabbi on a different continent — privacy and permission 40:05 — Religious guilt and "you're not your spouse's rabbi" 43:30 — Growing faster than your spouse — baby steps, not pressure 47:07 — When you're the one resisting your spouse's growth 48:49 — Your spouse as your mirror — the Adam-and-Eve reframe 50:49 — Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? 52:25 — Marriage as decades of weather 55:49 — Closing reflection and outro
2 Aug

The Moment that Stuck | Shternie Rosenfeld: How Gratitude Got Me Through My Divorce

Human & Holy is on a season break for the rest of the summer! During this time, we're airing your favorite moments from the past few seasons. In this excerpt, Shternie describes the way she moves through the world: not with a basket she guards, protecting what's "owed" to her, but with an empty one, open-handed, saying thank you every time something lands in it. Shternie Rosenfeld went through what she calls her own tsunami: a devastating divorce that cracked her open completely. In this conversation, she shares what actually got her through: a relationship with Hashem that is raw, honest, and full of open gratitude. We talk about the difference between feeling entitled to goodness and feeling worthy of it and about how gratitude isn't whitewashing our pain, but allowing it to live in the same body that is screaming, grieving, and being honest with G-d. * * * * * * * Shternie Rosenfeld has spent more than 25 years in Jewish education and community leadership, teaching everyone from preschoolers to seniors. She spent 15 years as director of the Chabad Fox Chapel Jewish Center, building its Hebrew School, summer camp, and adult education programs from the ground up. She went on to found The Jewish Spark, a nonprofit running weekly Kabbalah classes and community Shabbat and holiday programming, and now serves as Program Director of the Yonah Foundation, where she supports 38 community centers worldwide and empowers women to lead Torah classes globally. She has also taught at Yeshiva Schools, Hillel Academy, and Tzohar Seminary. Find out more at shternie.com To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at info@humanandholy.com To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. * * * * * * * 00:00 — What got her through divorce 02:16 — Talking to Hashem like a best friend 03:55 — A real relationship, not a performed one 05:02 — Seeing kindness as Hashem's hand 05:40 — The basket metaphor 10:36 — Entitlement vs. worthiness 11:41 — What to do when you feel shortchanged 13:54 — Gratitude in the tiny things 15:08 — Modeh Ani as the daily reset 16:40 — The Torah source on what is owed to us 18:29 — Is gratitude ever dishonest? 19:28 — "There's room for both" 20:40 — Day by day 22:41 — Marriage as a mirror for Hashem 23:30 — Outro
26 Jul

The Moment that Stuck | Chani Heyman on Raising Kids Who Stay Close as They Grow

Human & Holy is on a season break for the rest of the summer! During this time, we're airing your favorite moments from the past few seasons. How do you instill Jewish values from a young age, while leaving space for a child to grow into them on their own? In this conversation, we talk about why Judaism has to start as routine for young children before it becomes relationship, why “yes, unless you have a value to say no” changes everything with a teenager, the importance of physical touch in raising healthy children, and why mourning openly when our children's religious choices look differently than ours do can do real damage, even when it comes from love. This is a conversation about giving our children strong roots in their Judaism, and navigating the evolution from childhood to adulthood, as they begin to make their own choices in their relationship with G-d. Chani Heyman is a dynamic parenting coach, motivational speaker, educator, and Torah teacher who's passionate about empowering families to thrive. Originally from Los Angeles, Chani now calls Israel home. With a background rooted in the timeless wisdom of Rebbetzin Spetner and her own experiences as a mother of eight, Chani shares practical and inspiring guidance with parents worldwide.Through her engaging group classes, popular parenting column, and vibrant Instagram community @parentingwithchani, Chani sparks meaningful connections and helps families unlock their full potential. Find out more at https://theparentingclub.info. * * * * * * * To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at info@humanandholy.comTo support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor.Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.* * * * * * * TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 How to build Yiddishkeit routines that feel as natural as brushing teeth 01:06 Building the routine: start at the smallest sustainable level 06:24 The teen shift 09:13 Foundation vs. peer pressure 10:45 The reframe: “Yes, unless you have a value to say no” 11:38 Choosing your battles 12:49 “Copy paste” — are we raising kids to replicate our table, or to be halachically their own person? 14:41 Finding a rav to define the lowest level that is still 100% halacha — the loose-fitting-pants story 16:44 When your child doesn't look like you 17:44 Is “because it would make my mother happy” a legitimate motivation for a teen’s mitzvah observance? 21:43 Why building the habit before the meaning arrives is so much easier than trying to build both at once at 20 22:17 Parental fear and projection 22:34 For ba’alei teshuva parents specifically — “I’m trying to give you what I didn’t have,” and why force backfires 23:33 Beyond 100% halacha — what it looks like when a child’s practice truly diverges 25:36 “Keep your relationship strong” 27:03 The sapling-and-tree image 28:17 The emotional baseline — what it is, and why it differs by age 28:26 Ten minutes of true one-on-one time 30:33 For teens: it’s not about the ten minutes, it’s about being available the moment they want you 32:15 Modeling adult relationships 33:37 Physical touch as an emotional need 35:40 The mother who couldn’t remember the last time she’d touched her 19-year-old son 38:45 Host's Outro
19 Jul

The Moment That Stuck | Jackie Glaser: When Turning to G-d Becomes a Way to Hide From Yourself

Human & Holy is on a season break for the rest of the summer! During this time, we're airing your favorite moments from the past few seasons. In today's excerpt with Jackie Glaser, we cover spiritual bypassing, noticing the patterns that keep showing up in our lives, cultivating self-worth and self-trust, navigating rejection, our flaws as filters while dating, recognizing that matchmakers do not have control over people's future when navigating the shidduch system, and strengthening our trust in God. To watch the full episode this excerpt is from, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=243HxQfOx9E To contact Jackie or learn more about her courses, you can find her at jackieglaser.com or find Jackie on Instagram: datingbyjackieg * * * * * * * To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at info@humanandholy.com To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. * * * * * * * TIMESTAMPS: 0:00 Spiritual bypassing 2:04 How our patterns are signposts from Hashem, not punishments 3:07 Why we avoid taking responsibility, and turn anxiety into blaming Hashem instead 5:27 Going inward with compassionate curiosity instead of judgment 7:11 Turning to G-d as an escape hatch 7:21 Normalizing the pattern before moving forward 9:08 Self-trust as the real foundation behind who you marry 9:17 The somatic work begins: tuning into the body as a source of real data 12:45 Surrendering 14:23 Clearing subconscious blockage to make more room for closeness with Hashem 16:13 How our internal beliefs get projected onto strangers 17:35 Why healing the felt state dissolves the belief system underneath it 18:58 How the fear of rejection actually dissolves with this work 20:42 "I reject myself" — the most important relationship you'll ever build is with you 22:23 Disability or flaws as a filter in dating, not a disqualifier 24:05 Boundaries with matchmakers 25:44 When parents choose to "play the game" with a difficult shadchan for their child's sake 26:27 Hashem was never limited to a shadchan
12 Jul

The Questions Women Don't Ask Out Loud | Dena Block

A conversation about women's health & Jewish law, the more sensitive questions hidden behind women's seemingly straightforward halachic questions, how the concept of a Yoetzet Halacha came about, the difference between a halachic ruling and halachic advice, why the advice of "don't look at the toilet paper" can sometimes do more harm than good, the evolution of halachic thinking on IVF, the medical red flags that can be associated with "halachic infertility", the questions Dena gets most often, the ones that break her heart, and the ones that surprise her the most. Dena Block is the Co-Director of Nishmat's Miriam Glaubach Center. Previously, she served as the Center's Associate Director and as a Yoetzet Halacha for several congregations throughout the tri-state area. She taught Gemara and Halacha at Ma'ayanot Yeshiva High School for Girls in Teaneck, NJ, where she also served as Director of Admissions. A graduate of the first class of Nishmat's Miriam Glaubach Center's U.S. Yoatzot Halacha Fellows Program, Dena worked on numerous MGC initiatives to broaden the impact of of Yoatzot Halacha before joining the Center full-time in 2021. Dena lives in Raanana with her husband and 5 children and can be reached at Dena@afnishmat.org [00:00] Welcome Dena Block [01:00] Meeting women where they're at [01:50] Defining the term "Yoetzet Halacha" (women's halachic advisor) [02:48] The origin story: why the role was created [03:30] How women were being more stringent on themselves in silence, not more lenient — and the health/marital cost of that silence [04:24] Why more questions asked = more comfort, not less trust in rabbinic authority [05:00] How a Yoetzet answers — always with context, not just yes/no, to empower future understanding [05:48] The "question behind the question" — when the real issue isn't the halachic one [05:52] Example: a woman asking to go to mikvah early — the real story underneath [07:44] How that extra context changes the answer a posek gives [08:11] Story: a woman whose ongoing staining was actually a birth control issue [10:15] Defining the boundary between a Yoetzet and a rav/posek [11:06] What "psak" actually means vs. general halachic knowledge [12:00] Judgment calls vs. established rulings [12:16] Should women be taught to examine their own bedikah cloths? [16:27] The bigger question — why can't a woman hold a halachic ruling position? [18:23] The humility and reverence in deepened knowledge [20:47] How halacha creates unusual bodily attunement [24:41] Why "don't look at the toilet paper" is advice Dena wants retired [27:36] What IVF is and the original halachic concerns when it emerged [28:11] The concern over hashchatat zera (wasting seed) and how sperm collection is handled [29:36] How halachic opinion evolved as the technology became safer and more regulated [32:54] Common misconceptions about halachic infertility [34:34] Why a very short cycle can be a medical red flag, not just a halachic inconvenience [35:22] Halachic literacy often reveals underlying health issues [35:23] Why unexplained staining should always prompt a doctor visit, even when it's halachically minor [37:08] Misconceptions around halacha and sexuality [38:53] The most common question Dina receives [39:35] The hardest questions — women asking about mikvah while heading toward divorce [40:31] The range of what women are carrying — infertility, loss, mental health, marital strain [40:48] What makes Dina feel hopeful — when a woman expects "no" and hears "yes" [41:43] Witnessing halachic commitment and sacrifice [42:00] The number one thing women struggle with in this mitzvah — physical separation and lack of touch, more than the absence of sex itself [43:25] How the separation period affects men too, not just women [44:03] The biggest friction point between couples — the story of a woman who lied about her niddah status to avoid intimacy [46:26] Most unexpected mikvah locations [47:23] Closing question
5 Jul

Why I Stopped Waiting for a Miracle | Chavie Bruk

A conversation about the gritty, messy experience of faith when the things you want are not a "not yet" but a "no", life as a mother of five adopted children while grieving a permanent infertility diagnosis, why sometimes we need to stop waiting for a miracle, trying again and being told “no” again by God after 20 years of accepting, the impact of life setbacks on marriage and being willing to get support, the spiritual framework that makes Chavie's faith possible, and choosing to live with joy even when life doesn’t go as planned. Chavie Bruk is the host of Totally Unexpected!, a podcast featuring long-form interviews that uncover the one unexpected moment that shaped her guests’ lives. She is the author of a weekly blog on Substack, a sought-after public speaker, and a passionate advocate for adoption and infertility awareness. She and her husband are the directors of Chabad-Lubavitch of Montana, where they have spent nearly two decades building Jewish life out west and are the parents of five adopted children. She is an avid reader, traveler, fitness and health enthusiast, and endlessly curious about this messy ride we all call life. Listen to Totally Unexpected! wherever you get your podcasts and read her blog at www.totallyunexpected.blog. Chavie can be reached on Instagram @chaviebruk or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at info@humanandholy.com To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. 00:00 Introducing Chavie Bruk 02:52 Chavie introduces herself 04:23 Seasons of family vs. seasons of community service 08:39 Why she lets her community see the harder parts of her life 10:42 Permanent infertility diagnosis 15:33 Choosing to live fully inside the hardest years instead of just surviving them 17:22 The "why me" question — and how it eventually became "how" 20:11 Acceptance isn't linear — re-accepting the same grief at a deeper layer, years later 22:50 Holding grief and gratitude at the same time 23:09 Her unconventional relationship to miracles — the decision she made on her 30th birthday 26:02 When spiritual belief becomes spiritual bypassing — and how to tell the difference 29:12 On waiting: traveling with a child with special needs instead of waiting for "someday" 34:00 Living in the thick of life — why she started her podcast without waiting for it to be easier 35:25 The toll hard circumstances take on a marriage — and the stigma around therapy 40:24 Learning your couple's "trigger dance," and the tools that actually hold a marriage together 51:04Turning a canceled marriage-counseling slot into a standing weekly coffee date 53:16What it actually looks like to grieve a life that didn't turn out how you expected 54:11 The twinge she feels when someone close to her gets pregnant — and giving it room instead of shame 58:56 The story she's never said out loud before: a new fertility possibility reopens after 20 years 1:00:09 Saying no, then yes, then the test — and the result 1:02:20 "Why did You do that?" — wrestling openly with Hashem after the door closed again 1:04:38 What her therapist helped her see: this wasn't a setback, it was another layer of healing 1:07:07 "That's not my story" — choosing what this experience gets to mean 1:11:14 Not every "not yet" is a not-yet — sometimes it's a no, and that's its own form of faith 1:13:33 Faith isn't feeling good when things go well — it's staying okay when they don't 1:14:22 Why she teaches Tanya — the mechanics of the spiritual world as grounding, not platitude 1:17:18 Living in the present moment as the antidote to shame about the past and fear of the future 1:22:36 Real bitachon isn't toxic positivity — Hashem wants your anger too, not just your best behavior 1:24:47 What "messy" actually looks like behind a polished, recorded conversation 1:26:35 Knowing your own constitution — why she's "fire," not Zen, and why that's not a flaw to fix 1:28:03 Rapid fire & outro
14 Jun

Am I a Follower of the Lubavitcher Rebbe?

I recently opened a box of my middle school journals, and found the question that has followed me for nearly twenty years: could I honestly call myself a chossid of a Rebbe I had never met? In honor of Gimmel Tammuz, the anniversary of the Lubavitcher Rebbe's passing, I explore some of the questions that have gnawed at me for as long as I can remember: Should my relationship to the Rebbe be defined by longing? Am I fundamentally missing out on a nostalgic, golden age of Chabad if I never met him? What distinct message did the Rebbe have for a generation with a strong emphasis on the self? Is our determination to feel deeply "aligned" with our life choices a flaw, or a gift? Was the Rebbe passing on the baton, and if yes, to who? Drawing on a community survey and a close reading of V'atah Tetzaveh, this episode explores the generational shift the Rebbe himself outlined, what a relationship shaped by ignition, not loss, might look like, and how the Rebbe encouraged each person to step into their mission, to embrace the specificity of their identities and be the unique, unrepeatable messengers of Hashem the world is waiting for. * * * * * * * To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at info@humanandholy.com To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. * * * * * * * TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Finding my middle school journals 01:33 "Do we have the right to call ourselves a Chossid?" 04:00 Should I yearn for the physical presence of a Rebbe I never met? 06:00 Growing up on shlichus in Houston, TX 08:30 The enormous grief of Gimmel Tammuz 10:30 The community survey about the Rebbe 12:00 The message from the Rebbe that changed people's lives 13:15 Would you call yourself a chossid? 14:30 The final piece of the Torah the Rebbe distributed 15:30 Generation of self-sacrifice vs. religious freedom 17:55 Exploring V'atah Tetzaveh 19:30 What is higher than self-sacrifice? 21:36 Why connect to a Tzadik? 24:00 This generation's power 27:00 The specificity of who you are is your mission 30:00 Every person can be a Rebbe 33:00 When the Rebbe passed on the baton 35:58 Am I a follower of the Lubavitcher Rebbe? 37:48 The vision of Moshiach 38:50 Outro

Honest, spiritual conversations to unravel the essence of the human experience. Exploring Jewish & Chassidic wisdom, women's Torah, and the lived experience of Judaism. Hosted by Tonia Chazanow. Learn more about Human & Holy's work at humanandholy.com.

Creator

Tonia Chazanow
Years Active

2020 - 2026
Episodes

272
Rating

Clean
Copyright

© Tonia Chazanow
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Human & Holy

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