Addiction Makes Three

Amanda Lockyer

Addiction Makes Three The Podcast, with Amanda Lockyer is dedicated to shining a light and understanding the lesser talked about side of addiction. The real impact it has on the partners and families of those that struggle with addiction. Are you struggling with a partners addiction and feel at a complete loss as to what to do? You feel like you have no one to turn to and are worried you'll be judged or your partner will be judged. It can feel like no one understands what you are going through and no one could really imagine what this is really like. We will cover what it is truly like to be on the other side of a loved one struggling with addiction or navigating recovery. We will also dive deep on tools, ideas and strategies that will really help you whether you are at the confusing beginning the messy middle or through the other side, including practical tips and ways that you can actually get back to living again, regardless of the path your partner chooses. I will share my own lived experiences and expertise as an Addiction Relationship Coach and Wife of someone someone that struggled with addiction and we will have experts and guests that can share their expertise and experience in this space too so that you truly know you are not alone and know that there are things you can do to help you, your family and your partner - whether you choose to stay in the relationship, leave or leave for now. For more information and support and to find out how you can work with me for 1:1 and group coaching, check out the website or find me on Instagram. New episodes weekly. Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it. Show links I love connecting with the lovely listeners here, so head over to Instagram and let's be friends: https://instagram.com/addictionmakesthree/Ready to think about what could help? Book in a friendly chat: https://addictionmakesthree.as.me/friendlychat If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast Join the waitlist for the next Pathway to Wellness Coaching Program: https://www.addictionmakesthree.com/waitlist Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  1. 21 hr ago

    96 - I Can't Switch Off: Why I'm Always Waiting For Something To Go Wrong

    Do you feel like you're always waiting for the next problem? The next phone call. The next argument. The next relapse. The next thing that throws everything off course. If you love someone struggling with addiction, that constant feeling of being "on" can become so normal that you stop questioning it. You tell yourself you're just stressed. Just tired. Just a bit anxious. But what if the reason you can't relax has nothing to do with your personality? In this episode, Amanda explores one of the hidden impacts of loving someone with addiction: survival mode. From constantly scanning moods and overthinking conversations to feeling responsible for everyone else's wellbeing, many spouses and family members find themselves living in a state of hypervigilance without even realising it. Amanda shares why anxiety, emotional exhaustion and the inability to switch off are often signs of a nervous system that has spent years adapting to uncertainty. Inside this episode: • Why you're always waiting for something to go wrong • The hidden impact addiction has on your nervous system • What survival mode actually looks like in everyday life • Why hypervigilance becomes normal • The difference between surviving and feeling safe • Why there's nothing wrong with you If you've ever found yourself asking: "Why can't I relax?" "Why am I always on edge?" "Why do I feel responsible for everything?" This episode is for you. 🎧 Listen now. And if you're ready to stop carrying this on your own, Discovery to Recovery is designed to help you move from survival mode to feeling steadier, clearer and less alone. Because your loved one's recovery matters. But so does yours. 💕If you're thinking: "I know something needs to change, but I don't know where to start." Discovery to Recovery was created for exactly this moment. To help you move from confusion and survival mode to clarity, steadiness and relief. Because you don't need all the answers right now. You just need your next best step. Learn more about Discovery to Recovery here. Want more support and clarity? The waitlist for your support, Pathway to Wellness is open if you’d like to find out more about Amanda’s small group coaching program designed to support partners and families impacted by addiction. Amanda has also opened some private “friendly chat” spaces to talk it through with you and support you to take your next smallest step. 👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program 👉 book in a friendly chat to talk it through Private and confidential. No pressure. Just support. You were never supposed to carry this much for this long. And you deserve to live your life too. And when you are off the addiction roller coaster, and living your life, you're better for you, your family and your loved one and you can lead the way for change in your family. If you’re ready for support to create real change, you don’t have to do this on your own. 👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program, or book in a friendly chat with me where we can talk it through and I can suggest the next best smallest step forwards for you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    20 min
  2. 2 days ago

    95 - I Know Something Needs To Change… I Just Don't Know Where To Start

    Learn more about Discovery to Recovery here You know something needs to change. You know something isn't working. You know you're exhausted. But when you're living with addiction in a relationship, knowing what to do next can feel impossible. Maybe you're constantly thinking about your loved one's drinking, drug use, gambling, or addictive behaviour. Maybe you're walking on eggshells, trying not to make things worse. Maybe you're lying awake at night wondering: "Am I overreacting?" "Is it really that bad?" "How much longer do I wait?" "What am I supposed to do?" And honestly, when you're living with addiction in your home, it's easy to become stuck between recognising there's a problem and knowing what to do about it. In this episode, Amanda explores one of the most difficult parts of loving someone with addiction: The confusion. The limbo. The emotional exhaustion that comes from trying to understand addiction, trying to help, trying to cope, and trying to carry it all on your own. She shares why so many partners, spouses and family members affected by addiction stay stuck for years, the hidden fear that often stops us seeking support, and why support isn't about being told to leave or stay. It's about finding relief. If you've been feeling overwhelmed, emotionally exhausted, trapped in survival mode, or unsure how to move forward when someone you love is struggling with addiction, this episode will help you understand why you're feeling the way you are and what your next best step might be. Because your loved one's recovery matters. But so does yours. 💕If you're thinking: "I know something needs to change, but I don't know where to start." Discovery to Recovery was created for exactly this moment. To help you move from confusion and survival mode to clarity, steadiness and relief. Because you don't need all the answers right now. You just need your next best step. Learn more about Discovery to Recovery here. Want more support and clarity? The waitlist for your support, Pathway to Wellness is open if you’d like to find out more about Amanda’s small group coaching program designed to support partners and families impacted by addiction. Amanda has also opened some private “friendly chat” spaces to talk it through with you and support you to take your next smallest step. 👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program 👉 book in a friendly chat to talk it through Private and confidential. No pressure. Just support. You were never supposed to carry this much for this long. And you deserve to live your life too. And when you are off the addiction roller coaster, and living your life, you're better for you, your family and your loved one and you can lead the way for change in your family. If you’re ready for support to create real change, you don’t have to do this on your own. 👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program, or book in a friendly chat with me where we can talk it through and I can suggest the next best smallest step forwards for you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    20 min
  3. 27 May

    94 - I’m In Limbo: How Long Do I Wait?

    What happens when the person you love recognises they have a problem (or maybe they don't)… and nothing feels steady? What happens when you keep hoping things will improve… but your life slowly becomes consumed by waiting? In this deeply honest episode of Addiction Makes Three, Amanda explores the emotional limbo so many spouses and family members of people struggling with addiction quietly live in: waiting for sobriety, waiting for stability, waiting for peace, waiting to finally exhale. Amanda opens up about the painful reality of putting life on hold while hoping things will eventually get better - and the emotional exhaustion that comes from tying your wellbeing to someone else’s recovery. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking: • “I’ll be happy when things settle down.” • “Maybe I just need to wait a little longer.” • “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” • “How long do I keep doing this?” …this episode is for you. Because you do not need to figure everything out today. You just need a healthier next step. 🎧 If this episode resonated with you, please follow the podcast, leave a review, or share it with someone who may need to hear these words today. 👇 Discovery to Recovery You know something has to change but you don't know where to start... This is the first step to getting out of survival mode, and into living your one great life. It is a gentle, practical starting point for spouses and family members who know something needs to change but feel completely overwhelmed about where to begin. 👉 Discovery to Recovery is your first exhale. Start here Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    22 min
  4. 21 May

    93 - How Survival Mode Slowly Becomes Your Personality

    One of the hardest parts about loving someone struggling with alcohol or addiction? How slowly survival mode starts feeling normal. The hypervigilance. The walking on eggshells. The overthinking. The emotional exhaustion. The inability to fully relax. And over time… you stop recognising yourself. In this episode, Amanda explores the hidden ways addiction impacts partners and families - and how survival mode slowly becomes something you mistake for your personality. If you’ve ever found yourself: constantly monitoring moodsover-functioning and carrying everythingunable to switch off or relaxemotionally exhausted all the timewalking on eggshellsfeeling like your world has become smallerthinking “I don’t even feel like myself anymore” …this episode is for you. Inside this conversation, Amanda shares: why survival mode happens so graduallyhow hypervigilance affects your nervous systemthe hidden emotional load many partners carrywhy addiction changes the whole emotional atmosphere of a homethe connection between perfectionism and survival modehow women slowly disconnect from themselves while trying to hold everything together And most importantly? A reminder that this isn’t who you are. This is survival mode. Want more support and clarity? ✨ Discovery to Recovery If you know something needs to change, but feel overwhelmed about where to even begin… this is your first step out of survival mode. Quietly, in the privacy of your own home and at your own pace. Find out more about Discovery to Recovery and take your next smallest step towards a better life. And... if you want the next step The waitlist for your support, Pathway to Wellness is open if you’d like to find out more about Amanda’s group coaching program designed to support partners and families impacted by addiction. Amanda has also opened some private “friendly chat” spaces to talk it through with you and support you to take your next smallest step. 👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program 👉 book in a friendly chat to talk it through Private and confidential. No pressure. Just support. You were never supposed to carry this much for this long. And you deserve to live your life too. And when you are off the addiction roller coaster, and living your life, you're better for you, your family and your loved one and you can lead the way for change in your family. If you’re ready for support to create real change, you don’t have to do this on your own. 👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program, or book in a friendly chat with me where we can talk it through and I can suggest the next best smallest step forwards for you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    19 min
  5. 19 May

    92 - Am I Overreacting? The Hidden Damage Addiction Causes

    Have you ever asked yourself, "Maybe It’s Me?" One of the hardest parts about loving someone struggling with alcohol or addiction? It’s not always the drinking, the lying, the gambling, or the chaos. It’s what slowly starts happening to you. And loosing your own trust is one of those impacts that is lesser seen and almost never spoken about. But it's impacts are devastating. In this episode, Amanda talks about the hidden emotional toll addiction can have on partners and families - the confusion, hypervigilance, self-doubt, and the slow erosion of self-trust that can happen over time. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking: “Maybe I’m overreacting”“Maybe it’s not actually that bad”“Maybe it’s me” …this episode is for you. Amanda shares: Why addiction-impacted relationships create so much confusionHow hypervigilance and overthinking become survival strategiesThe emotional impact of constantly questioning your realityWhy self-trust is often the biggest casualtyHow survival mode slowly disconnects you from yourselfThe small ways you can begin rebuilding trust in yourself again This is an honest, compassionate conversation for anyone feeling emotionally exhausted, disconnected from themselves, or unsure what’s normal anymore. 💛 You are not crazy. 💛 You are not weak. 💛 And you do not have to carry this alone. Want more support and clarity? The waitlist for your support, Pathway to Wellness is open if you’d like to find out more about Amanda’s group coaching program designed to support partners and families impacted by addiction. Amanda has also opened some private “friendly chat” spaces to talk it through with you and support you to take your next smallest step. 👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program 👉 book in a friendly chat to talk it through Private and confidential. No pressure. Just support. You were never supposed to carry this much for this long. And you deserve to live your life too. And when you are off the addiction roller coaster, and living your life, you're better for you, your family and your loved one and you can lead the way for change in your family. If you’re ready for support to create real change, you don’t have to do this on your own. 👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program, or book in a friendly chat with me where we can talk it through and I can suggest the next best smallest step forwards for you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    23 min
  6. 14 May

    91 - The Hills I’ll Die On After Loving Someone With Addiction

    Today Amanda shares the “hills she’ll die on” after loving someone struggling with alcohol and addiction… and after supporting hundreds of women and men impacted by it too. From waiting for rock bottom… to believing sobriety should magically fix everything… to thinking more information will finally make things feel better… This episode challenges some of the biggest myths people quietly carry in addiction and recovery. In this episode we talk through... Why you do NOT need to wait for things to get worse before getting supportWhy sobriety doesn’t automatically heal the people around the addictionThe confusion, self-doubt and “crazy making” impact of addictionWhy learning more about addiction is not the same as healing from its impactThe truth about hypervigilance and survival modeWhy you deserve to live your life tooAwareness matters. But awareness alone does not create change. Want more? The waitlist for your support, Pathway to Wellness is open if you’d like to find out more about Amanda’s group coaching program designed to support partners and families impacted by addiction. Amanda has also opened some private “friendly chat” spaces to talk it through with you and support you to take your next smallest step. 👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program 👉 book in a friendly chat to talk it through Private and confidential. No pressure. Just support. You were never supposed to carry this much for this long. And you deserve to live your life too. And when you are off the addiction roller coaster, and living your life, you're better for you, your family and your loved one and you can lead the way for change in your family. If you’re ready for support to create real change, you don’t have to do this on your own. 👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program, or book in a friendly chat with me where we can talk it through and I can suggest the next best smallest step forwards for you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    19 min
  7. 13 May

    90 - I Miss Who I Used To Be: How Survival Mode Slowly Changes You

    Sometimes the hardest part about addiction…. is realising how much you have changed too. In this deeply personal episode, Amanda opens up about the grief of losing yourself in survival mode. The anxiety. The hypervigilance. The exhaustion. The version of you that slowly disappeared while trying to hold everything together. Because addiction doesn’t just impact the person struggling. It changes the people around them too. 🎧 In this episode, we cover: How survival mode slowly changes youThe grief of losing yourself in addictionWhy hypervigilance becomes your “normal”The hidden emotional exhaustion partners carryWhy you may not recognise yourself anymoreThe difference between your identity and your survival adaptationsRebuilding self-trust and reconnecting with yourselfWhy life is not supposed to feel like constant survival mode You didn’t lose yourself because you were weak. You lost parts of yourself trying to survive something really hard for a really long time. The version of you that exists in survival mode… is not who you are. It’s an adaptation. And underneath it all? You are still there. So if you’re quietly thinking: “God… I miss myself…” The waitlist for Pathway to Wellness is open if you want to find out more. Amanda has also opened some private “friendly chat” spaces to talk it through with you and support you to take your next smallest step. 👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program 👉 book in a friendly chat to talk it through Private and confidential. No pressure. Just support. You were never supposed to carry this much for this long. And you deserve to live your life too. And when you are off the addiction roller coaster, and living your life, you're better for you, your family and your loved one and you can lead the way for change in your family. If you’re ready for support to create real change, you don’t have to do this on your own. 👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program, or book in a friendly chat with me where we can talk it through and I can suggest the next best smallest step forwards for you. Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    21 min
  8. 7 May

    89 - Mother’s Day, Addiction, and the Grief No One Talks About

    Mother’s Day can bring up a lot for many of us. And when addiction has touched your life… not all of it feels good. Because Mother’s Day can become this painful mix of hope, disappointment and grief all at the same time. In this deeply personal episode, Amanda opens up about the complicated emotional reality of Mother’s Day when addiction is part of your story. From unmet expectations… to feeling unseen… to grieving the version of family life you thought you’d have… this episode puts words to feelings so many people quietly carry. In this episode, we talk about:Why Mother’s Day can feel emotionally heavy in addictionThe hope that “maybe this year will be different”The heartbreak of disappointment and unmet expectationsGrieving the life and relationship you thought you’d haveThe invisible loneliness of high-functioning addictionWhy social media can make these feelings even harderThe meaning we attach to gifts, effort, and feeling seenHow to approach Mother’s Day with more compassion for yourself Because truthfully You can love your family deeply… and still feel sadness. You can feel grateful… and still grieve what’s missing. And multiple things can be true at once. This episode is for you if:Mother’s Day feels complicatedYou feel unseen or emotionally aloneAddiction has changed how family celebrations feelYou’re carrying grief no one else seems to noticeYou’re trying to hold it all together for everyone else If this episode feels close to home… you don’t have to carry this on your own. Amanda has opened up a small number of “talk it through” spaces - a chance to simply talk things through with someone who understands this space. 👉 book in a friendly chat here You are allowed to have mixed feelings about Mother’s Day. And you are worthy of being seen, appreciated, and cared for too. 👉 Resources and support: If you’re ready for support to create real change, you don’t have to do this on your own. 👉 Join the Waitlist for the Pathway to Wellness Program, or book in a friendly chat with me where we can talk it through and I can suggest the next best smallest step forwards for you. Connect on Instagram: @addictionmakesthree Questions or reflections? 💌 amanda@addictionmakesthree.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    27 min

Trailer

About

Addiction Makes Three The Podcast, with Amanda Lockyer is dedicated to shining a light and understanding the lesser talked about side of addiction. The real impact it has on the partners and families of those that struggle with addiction. Are you struggling with a partners addiction and feel at a complete loss as to what to do? You feel like you have no one to turn to and are worried you'll be judged or your partner will be judged. It can feel like no one understands what you are going through and no one could really imagine what this is really like. We will cover what it is truly like to be on the other side of a loved one struggling with addiction or navigating recovery. We will also dive deep on tools, ideas and strategies that will really help you whether you are at the confusing beginning the messy middle or through the other side, including practical tips and ways that you can actually get back to living again, regardless of the path your partner chooses. I will share my own lived experiences and expertise as an Addiction Relationship Coach and Wife of someone someone that struggled with addiction and we will have experts and guests that can share their expertise and experience in this space too so that you truly know you are not alone and know that there are things you can do to help you, your family and your partner - whether you choose to stay in the relationship, leave or leave for now. For more information and support and to find out how you can work with me for 1:1 and group coaching, check out the website or find me on Instagram. New episodes weekly. Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it. Show links I love connecting with the lovely listeners here, so head over to Instagram and let's be friends: https://instagram.com/addictionmakesthree/Ready to think about what could help? Book in a friendly chat: https://addictionmakesthree.as.me/friendlychat If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast Join the waitlist for the next Pathway to Wellness Coaching Program: https://www.addictionmakesthree.com/waitlist Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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