Finding Solace

Solace
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Finding Solace is a show that connects people to the real world around them through actionable insights for everyday people. No fluff, no signaling, just talking. From dating, to clean eating, masculinity, and finance, I cover the things that every 18-34 year old guy needs to know.

  1. 1 DAY AGO

    how to make new friends in 2026 - #043

    In today's episode, I talk about why making friends as an adult in 2026 feels so much harder than it did back in the golden days of 2010 gaming lobbies, and how we can actually fix it. I dive into how our constant reliance on smartphones and social media is creating an invisible barrier that blocks spontaneous, real-world connections. To help you break out of that cycle, I lay out a practical step-by-step guide to building lifelong relationships. We cover the importance of putting your phone away in public to invite natural interactions, how to strike up casual conversations using simple observations, and why diving headfirst into new, even weirdly niche hobbies gives you the perfect material to connect over. Finally, I explain why establishing a routine in your local community is the secret to getting those crucial repeat interactions, and exactly how to confidently "shoot your shot" to turn a casual acquaintance into a true friend. --- Check out my habit tracking app:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://solacespeaks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmG

    18 min

  2. 5 DAYS AGO

    why crushes are so painful - #042

    Have you ever wondered why crushes are so painful? Have you ever thought about someone all day, even though you've never spoken to them before? In today's episode, I dive deep into the world of crushes and explain why they make you feel the way you do. --- Check out my habit tracking app:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://solacespeaks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmG

    21 min

  3. 29 APR

    how to make 2026 the best year of your life (its not too late) - #041

    Today I talk about why making a fresh start in a new year is so difficult and how you can actually make 2026 different. We often set unrealistic goals in January, only to burn out by March because we try to change everything at once. True change does not come from big resolutions but from small, sustainable habit loops. By focusing on a clear cue, a simple routine, and a rewarding result, you can build new behaviors that eventually run on autopilot. To make this year truly successful, I suggest focusing on keystone habits. These are small actions that create a positive chain reaction in other parts of your life, such as going to bed earlier to improve your energy, diet, and fitness. However, I also argue that life is not just a project to be optimized. The modern world wants to turn you into a consumer who treats every moment as a means to an end. To regain your humanity, you must set aside time for play, exploration, and genuine connection with the real world around you, rather than just chasing productivity. --- Check out my habit tracking app:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://solacespeaks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmG

    14 min

  4. 20 APR

    stop taking yourself so seriously - #040

    In today's episode, I talk about the trap of constantly optimizing for a future that may never arrive. Most of us live our lives as a series of transactions, treating every moment as a means to an end, whether that is working a job to pay for a vacation or rushing through a game to reach the final level. We have turned our lives into a mechanical project, converting time into money and experiences into data. This perspective strips the world of its wonder, leaving us feeling isolated and disconnected from the reality of the present moment. To break this cycle, I argue that we need to practice a form of true materialism. This is not about the modern obsession with wealth and status, but rather the original philosophical idea that everything around us—the trees, the air, and the food we eat—is physical and real. True materialism means increasing your presence with what already exists. It means learning to exist in the physical space around you and appreciating things for what they are, rather than what they represent about your identity. We should stop taking life so seriously and learn to dance, treating the goal of life not as a destination to reach, but as a continuous process of being here. ----- become a member to check out my summary:https://solacespeaks.com/supporters/posts/225212 read "just so" by Alan Watts here:https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads Check out my habit tracking app:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmG⁠

    22 min

  5. 15 APR

    how to deal with rejection - #039

    Shorter, more straightforward and simpler. Today I talk about the fear of rejection and how it often causes us to reject ourselves before anyone else does. In high school, I was an awkward guy who tried so hard to fit in that I became unnatural. This fear creates a version of you that people find hard to connect with. We often have a bias where we think neutral moments are negative, like assuming someone hates us just because they didn't laugh at a joke. Realizing that most people are actually focused on themselves can give you the freedom to finally act like yourself. When you stop rehearsing your personality, you stop presenting a fake version of yourself to the world. Authentic living might lead to some rejection, but the friends you do make will actually like you for who you are. Rejection is not a reflection of your worth, it is just a part of life that everyone experiences. You can build confidence by having simple, low-stakes conversations without worrying about the outcome. True confidence means being okay with a no and moving on respectfully while still being a person that others enjoy being around. ----- Check out my habit tracking app:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://solacespeaks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmG

    12 min

  6. 8 APR

    you don't need a girlfriend - #038

    Gemini said Today I talk about why you don't need a girlfriend, no matter how much society or your own insecurities try to convince you otherwise. I explore the trap of seeking a relationship to fill an internal void. This often leads to an inauthentic life where you design your gym routines and social circles solely to attract others. A relationship is not a fix for your personal shortcomings. Treating it as a trophy or a solution only creates a hollow dynamic. Instead, I argue that a truly powerful connection consists of two entire people who understand their own visions and identities before coming together in harmony. To reach this state, you must focus on finding out who you really are by pushing beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone. This means engaging in meaningful friction by trying hobbies you might suck at or challenging your pre-existing ideas. You should also learn to be comfortable in your own company. By filling your own internal void through self-exploration and personal growth, you build a firm identity that allows you to contribute to the world. Ultimately, it is only by becoming a whole person first that you can attract a partner who aligns with your true values and build a relationship that actually lasts. ----- Check out my habit tracking app:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://solacespeaks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠ My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmG

    11 min

  7. 2 APR

    the corporate machine is designed to break you - #037

    We live in a world that is focused on exploiting you for your time, your money, and your attention. You have to work long hours for little pay to make money to spend on pointless items that are shoved down your throat through manipulative marketing. Your data is being used against you. You are part of a system that keeps you burnt out and hopeless, and privacy is getting progressively worse. Today, I talk about the burnout society, online privacy, the corporate machine, and the surveillance state along with anecdotes on how to distance yourself from this system. I give you some guidance on how to improve your privacy online, how to open source your online life and how to find meaning in the real world. ----- Check out my habit tracking app:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠htthttps://solacespeaks.com/⁠⁠⁠ My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmG

    1hr 7min

  8. 31 MAR

    how to be a proper man - #036

    Finding a sense of direction in your 20s is becoming increasingly difficult because modern "masculinity" has been reduced to a performance. It has become a competition to see who can signal the most wealth or desirability. In this video, I argue that being a proper man has nothing to do with these superficial markers. It is about achieving a harmony between action and intuition, and moving away from the "red pill" caricatures that tell you to pretend you're living in a Hemingway novel. I break down the four essential pillars for finding your path: Define Your Vision: We feel directionless because we are. You need to stop romanticizing someone else's life and start journaling to discover your own unique goals for the next decade. Seek Real Experience: You can't think your way into a vision. You have to live it. I thought I wanted city life until I actually moved there and realized the noise was draining me. Experience is the only way to find your "North Star". Beyond the Ego: Self-improvement is a trap if it never turns outward. To be a proper man, you must eventually contribute to something bigger than yourself whether that's a family, a community, or a cause. Without that, all that growth is ultimately meaningless. The Power of Tenacity: We live in an era of "instant everything," but a business, a relationship, or a skill takes years of consistent effort. If you don't have the willpower to endure the boring middle parts, you'll never reach the end of the track. ----- Check out my habit tracking app:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠htthttps://solacespeaks.com/⁠⁠ My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmG

    21 min
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About

Finding Solace is a show that connects people to the real world around them through actionable insights for everyday people. No fluff, no signaling, just talking. From dating, to clean eating, masculinity, and finance, I cover the things that every 18-34 year old guy needs to know.

Information

  • Creator
    Solace
  • Years Active
    2k
  • Episodes
    43
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Solace
  • Show Website
    Finding Solace