Finding Solace

Solace
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Finding Solace is a show that connects people to the real world around them through actionable insights for everyday people. No fluff, no signaling, just talking. From dating, to clean eating, masculinity, and finance, I cover the things that every 18-34 year old guy needs to know.

  1. 1 DAY AGO

    how to deal with rejection - #039

    Shorter, more straightforward and simpler. Today I talk about the fear of rejection and how it often causes us to reject ourselves before anyone else does. In high school, I was an awkward guy who tried so hard to fit in that I became unnatural. This fear creates a version of you that people find hard to connect with. We often have a bias where we think neutral moments are negative, like assuming someone hates us just because they didn't laugh at a joke. Realizing that most people are actually focused on themselves can give you the freedom to finally act like yourself. When you stop rehearsing your personality, you stop presenting a fake version of yourself to the world. Authentic living might lead to some rejection, but the friends you do make will actually like you for who you are. Rejection is not a reflection of your worth, it is just a part of life that everyone experiences. You can build confidence by having simple, low-stakes conversations without worrying about the outcome. True confidence means being okay with a no and moving on respectfully while still being a person that others enjoy being around. ----- Check out my habit tracking app:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://solacespeaks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmG

    12 min

  2. 8 APR

    you don't need a girlfriend - #038

    Gemini said Today I talk about why you don't need a girlfriend, no matter how much society or your own insecurities try to convince you otherwise. I explore the trap of seeking a relationship to fill an internal void. This often leads to an inauthentic life where you design your gym routines and social circles solely to attract others. A relationship is not a fix for your personal shortcomings. Treating it as a trophy or a solution only creates a hollow dynamic. Instead, I argue that a truly powerful connection consists of two entire people who understand their own visions and identities before coming together in harmony. To reach this state, you must focus on finding out who you really are by pushing beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone. This means engaging in meaningful friction by trying hobbies you might suck at or challenging your pre-existing ideas. You should also learn to be comfortable in your own company. By filling your own internal void through self-exploration and personal growth, you build a firm identity that allows you to contribute to the world. Ultimately, it is only by becoming a whole person first that you can attract a partner who aligns with your true values and build a relationship that actually lasts. ----- Check out my habit tracking app:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://solacespeaks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠ My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmG

    11 min

  3. 2 APR

    the corporate machine is designed to break you - #037

    We live in a world that is focused on exploiting you for your time, your money, and your attention. You have to work long hours for little pay to make money to spend on pointless items that are shoved down your throat through manipulative marketing. Your data is being used against you. You are part of a system that keeps you burnt out and hopeless, and privacy is getting progressively worse. Today, I talk about the burnout society, online privacy, the corporate machine, and the surveillance state along with anecdotes on how to distance yourself from this system. I give you some guidance on how to improve your privacy online, how to open source your online life and how to find meaning in the real world. ----- Check out my habit tracking app:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠htthttps://solacespeaks.com/⁠⁠⁠ My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmG

    1hr 7min

  4. 31 MAR

    how to be a proper man - #036

    Finding a sense of direction in your 20s is becoming increasingly difficult because modern "masculinity" has been reduced to a performance. It has become a competition to see who can signal the most wealth or desirability. In this video, I argue that being a proper man has nothing to do with these superficial markers. It is about achieving a harmony between action and intuition, and moving away from the "red pill" caricatures that tell you to pretend you're living in a Hemingway novel. I break down the four essential pillars for finding your path: Define Your Vision: We feel directionless because we are. You need to stop romanticizing someone else's life and start journaling to discover your own unique goals for the next decade. Seek Real Experience: You can't think your way into a vision. You have to live it. I thought I wanted city life until I actually moved there and realized the noise was draining me. Experience is the only way to find your "North Star". Beyond the Ego: Self-improvement is a trap if it never turns outward. To be a proper man, you must eventually contribute to something bigger than yourself whether that's a family, a community, or a cause. Without that, all that growth is ultimately meaningless. The Power of Tenacity: We live in an era of "instant everything," but a business, a relationship, or a skill takes years of consistent effort. If you don't have the willpower to endure the boring middle parts, you'll never reach the end of the track. ----- Check out my habit tracking app:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠htthttps://solacespeaks.com/⁠⁠ My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmG

    21 min

  5. 27 MAR

    how to get a girlfriend in 16 minutes - #035

    The way modern dating works absolutely sucks. In this episode, I talk about how we’ve traded natural human connection for algorithmically suggested portfolios and shallow swiping. We sit at home hoping a large corporation will facilitate a romantic match while paying for "premium" access just to be seen. I share my own experience of wasting years (and a lot of money) on these apps only to find that they made me feel more lonely and disconnected. I explore why getting off the apps is the first real step toward fixing your dating life. I talk about returning to our roots by getting back out in public—places like coffee shops, farmers markets, and gyms (where real people actually gather). The core idea is that you need to learn how to talk to anyone, regardless of attraction, to build genuine social confidence. By focusing on real-world hobbies and being authentically vulnerable instead of playing "detached" games, you can step outside the digital logic and find a relationship that actually belongs to you. ------ Check out my habit tracking app:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠htthttps://solacespeaks.com/⁠ My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmG

    17 min

  6. 25 MAR

    why i stopped eating sugar (and why you should too) - #034

    I was eating ice cream almost daily, and it was destroying my mental and physical health. In today's episode, I talk about the negative side effects of a diet high in added sugar, why I stopped eating sugar entirely, and how you can improve your diet to feel better both mentally and physically. ---- Check out my habit tracking app:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Buy me a coffee: ⁠⁠https://buymeacoffee.com/solacespeaks⁠ My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmGd

    18 min

  7. 19 MAR

    what should you do with your life? - #033

    It seems like everyone has their life figured out. Like they know their career path, their personal goals and aspirations and their day-to-day routine. But, it's fake. Nobody actually knows what they are doing with their life, and you shouldn't feel like you are behind because of it. In today's episode, I talk about how, even with this project, I still feel lost and directionless. How I question everything and am unsure of where I am going. And I touch on an important aspect of this conversation - about how doctors and florists still have the same issues that we do. ---- Check out my habit tracking app:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Buy me a coffee: ⁠https://buymeacoffee.com/solacespeaks My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmGd

    20 min

  8. 18 MAR

    why you should worry about your online privacy - #032

    Big Tech isn’t just watching you; it’s building a psychological profile to exploit your vulnerabilities for profit. In this episode, I talk about the "surveillance capitalism" machine where every click, pause, and search is logged to manipulate your spending. This isn't just about 1984-style control. It’s a "Brave New World" scenario where companies like Uber or Allstate use your data—like a low phone battery or your browsing habits—to charge you more or deny you services. I share my own shift from being the guy who "had nothing to hide" to realizing that our data is actually our soul being sold to the highest bidder. I dive into practical, low-cost ways to reclaim your privacy, from simple browser tweaks and switching to DuckDuckGo, to more advanced moves like using email aliases and password managers. The goal isn't to become a digital hermit, but to stop being the "involuntary product" of your online experience and make it just a little bit harder for billionaires to turn your every move into a line on a balance sheet. ---- Check out my habit tracking app:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://feelwrite.app/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ My online privacy guide: https://buymeacoffee.com/solacespeaks/de-corporatizing-your-online-life My bookshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join The Discord: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://discord.gg/jreFGvRmGd

    20 min
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About

Finding Solace is a show that connects people to the real world around them through actionable insights for everyday people. No fluff, no signaling, just talking. From dating, to clean eating, masculinity, and finance, I cover the things that every 18-34 year old guy needs to know.

Information

  • Creator
    Solace
  • Years Active
    2k
  • Episodes
    39
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Solace
  • Show Website
    Finding Solace