Dads Supporting Dads

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Channel • 3 Shows

Parenting

Parenting

Every two weeks
Kids & Family

Kids & Family

Updated 17/06/2021
Parenting

Parenting

Updated weekly

19/04/2021

Helping Dads in Divorce With Stacey Herman

Today on the Dads with Daughters Podcast we spoke with Stacey Herman of Stripe Street Studio who is committed to working with dads that are are going through divorce to create a space unique for the new reality that they are in. Why is this important? With divorce rates among married couples still high, there are more men, and in particular dads, who suddenly find themselves living in a new place without the faintest idea of how to make it look and feel like a true home. Enter Stripe Street Studio, a recently launched service that helps divorced dads seamlessly transition into a new space through the first of a kind, complete home transformation studio. This means that these men can focus on what really matters: work, relationships and time together. The team can help take something daunting and turn it into a positive experience while supporting men in their transition. Stripe Street Studio understands that whether one is a manly man or a man with refined taste, helping to transform his space with intention is a great way to express himself while also creating a welcoming haven for his kids. From concept to creation and everything in between, Stripe Street Studio will analyze the best use of space, source necessities, personalize items, coordinate movers, schedule deliveries and finalize the house to make it feel like home. If you've enjoyed today's episode of the Dads With Daughters podcast we invite you to check out the Fatherhood Insider. The Fatherhood Insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual and most are figuring it out as they go along. The Fatherhood Insider is full of valuable resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step-by-step roadmaps and more you will engage and learn with experts but more importantly with dads like you. So check it out today! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

19/04/2021

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22 min
10/10/2024 · BONUS

Acknowledgement (DILF's Co-Parenting Series) - DILF RePlay

In preparation for our upcoming third season, we're excited to present another episode favorite in our DILF RePlay Series: In the first of DILF’s popular CoParenting Series, Host Kevin Seldon invites his brave wife on the pod… mid-arguement, after finding themselves in the middle of a fight that seemed all too familiar. They soon realized that WHAT they were actually arguing about had nothing to do with the situation before them. In fact, they were each simply angry about other unresolved issues in their relationship and using this random argument to vent frustrations without actually addressing the true issue at hand... and it was beginning to impact the environment in which they raised their child. They found themselves in a vicious cycle... and it wasn't about a lack of love, it was remnants from past feelings that had yet to be resolved and simply lingered silently, growing momentum within them in a way that could slowly poison any relationship, but especially dangerous for the often strained relationship between co-parents. / To hear other episodes from DILF’s Co-Parenting Series: s1, ep7: CONNECTION - https://pod.fo/e/20a2as1, ep15: BOUNDARIES - https://pod.fo/e/27fb1s2, ep5: REBUILDING CONNECTIONS - https://pod.fo/e/d6ccbs2, ep13: THE CURSE OF MARTYRDOM - https://pod.fo/e/f4e64 // If this episode was helpful to you in any way, please consider sharing it with others or writing a REVIEW ...and help us to reach more like-minded parents in need of support! / For more information on DILF, visit us at DadIdLikeToFriend.com // For questions, comments, or future topic suggestions, DM us on Instagram -> @DILFpodcast *DILF is a proud founding partner of ALL PARENTS WELCOME: a nonprofit coalition of parents working to create more support and inclusivity within parenting culture > to learn more, visit https://AllParentsWelcome.org Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

10/10/2024 · Bonus

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34 min
04/11/2024

Raising Girls: Efrem Martin's Story of Love and Dedication

This week on the Dads with Daughters podcast, we had the pleasure of sitting down with Efrem Martin, a dedicated father of four daughters and a passionate advocate for intentional fatherhood. In this engaging discussion, Efrem shared his personal journey, the unique challenges he faced, and his inspiration behind writing his book, "Daddy's Girl's: A Father's How-to in Building Lifelong Relationships with our Daughter's," and starting the Girl Dad YouTube channel. Here are some profound insights from their conversation. The Beginning of Efrem Martin's Fatherhood Journey One of the key moments in Efrem's life was discovering that he would become a father to a daughter for the first time. Reflecting on that time, Efrem admitted to feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement. As a young man of 23 and a Marine transitioning into civilian life, he was embarking on a monumental chapter in his life. Despite some initial fears, Efrem expressed a unique perspective: he always wanted daughters because he believed they would make him a better man. He credited his upbringing, particularly being raised by a nurturing mother in a single-parent household after the tragic loss of his father, with preparing him for this role. He drew strength and inspiration from his mother's unwavering support and the exemplary male figures—his uncles, cousins, and coaches—who stepped in to mentor him. Overcoming Adversity and Becoming a Role Model Efrem's father was murdered when Efrem was only two years old, fundamentally shaping his upbringing. Though he grew up without a father, Efrem found guidance in other male role models, like his coaches, who treated him like their own son. These experiences instilled in him the importance of having strong, positive male influences and reinforced his commitment to being an involved and supportive dad. Having worked for 20 years in the criminal justice system and 10 years in K-12 education, Efrem witnessed firsthand the detrimental effects of the criminal justice system on children and families. This professional backdrop fueled his determination to ensure his daughters stayed out of the system and thrived in a safe, nurturing environment. Efrem Martin's Philosophy: Raising Free Thinkers Efrem's approach to fatherhood extends beyond mere presence; it is about fostering independence and critical thinking in his daughters. He emphasized the importance of raising his girls to be free thinkers rather than focusing solely on independence. By encouraging them to challenge the world around them and question everything, Efrem prepared his daughters to navigate life with self-awareness and confidence. This philosophy is encapsulated in his self-published book, "Daddy's Girls," where he outlines the stages of development from birth to adulthood. Additionally, his Grow Dat YouTube channel serves as a platform to further elaborate on these concepts, providing fathers with data-driven insights, visual aids, and practical guidance on raising daughters. The Grow Dat YouTube Channel: Fostering a Community of Learning Launched in July 2023, Efrem's Grow Dat YouTube channel is a treasure trove of wisdom and support for fathers. With over 55 livestreams covering diverse topics, Efrem draws from his extensive experience and professional background to offer valuable content. His goal is not to amass a large following but to attract the right audience—fathers genuinely seeking to improve their parenting skills. Unlike other platforms, Efrem's channel delves into deeper, more complex issues of fatherhood, leveraging his knowledge in criminal justice and education to provide context and solutions. His dedication to building this community organically reflects his commitment to authenticity and meaningful engagement. Looking Ahead: A Vision for Greater Engagement Efrem has ambitious plans for the future of Grow Dat. Starting in 2025, he aims to transform the channel into a more interactive space, featuring one-on-one engagements with fathers. He believes that real-time conversations and shared experiences can enrich the learning process for everyone involved. By fostering a supportive network of dads, Efrem hopes to create a space where fathers can share their struggles, triumphs, and insights in raising daughters. Conclusion: Consistency as the Cornerstone Towards the end of the podcast, Efrem shared his core advice for fathers: be consistent. Consistency, he believes, is the foundation of effective parenting. It provides daughters with a sense of security, allowing them to grow into confident, independent, and thoughtful individuals. Efrem Martin's journey and insights remind us that fatherhood is a profound and ongoing adventure. Through his book, his YouTube channel, and his unwavering dedication, Efrem continues to inspire fathers to embrace their roles with commitment, compassion, and a desire for continuous growth. For more about Efrem Martin, his book "Daddy's Girls," and the Grow Dat YouTube channel, visit his channels and social media as outlined in the podcast episode. Remember, as fathers, we have the power to shape the next generation, one loving, consistent day at a time. TRANSCRIPT (Unedited transcript created with CASTMAGIC_ Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]: Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]: Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast where we bring you guests to help you be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. As always, every week, I love being able to be on this journey with you, an opportunity to be able to talk every week and be able to work through what it means to be a dad to a daughter. And the biggest thing that I keep telling you over and over again is that being a father to a daughter is not always going to be the easiest, but you don't have to do this alone. And that's the thing that is most important is that you show up every week. You show up not only for your daughters, but show up for this. And you and you can hear from other dads, other people that have resources and things that you can do day in, day out to be that engaged dad that you wanna be. That's why this podcast exists. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:09]: It exists to help you to be able to be the dad you wanna be and help you raise those strong, independent women that you want your daughters to be. This week, we got another great guest with us today. Efrem Martin is with us today, and Efrem is a father of 4 girls and owner of the Girl Dad YouTube Channel. And we're going to talk about his own journey in being a dad, but also some things that he's doing to be able to help dads just like you to be those girl dads that they want to be as well. So I'm really excited to have him with us today. Efrem, thanks so much for being here today. Efrem Martin [00:01:41]: Thank you for having me, sir. Appreciate you. Appreciate you. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:44]: Well, I really appreciate you being here today. And the first and and and first and foremost, one of the things that I love doing is turning the clock back in time. I wanna go all the way back. I know your oldest is 36, so I wanna go all the way back. It might be 36 years, might be 35 years, but we're gonna go all the way back to that first moment that you found out that you were going to be a father to a daughter. What was going through your head? Efrem Martin [00:02:05]: It was crazy. Nervous, excited, just all the above. And baby girls, they change your world. They change your life. So it was, I was young, 23. So very excited, though. Very excited. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:17]: Now I talk to a lot of dads, and a lot of dads step into fatherhood and they're a little scared. Not only being scared of being a father, but when you put on that extra layer of being a father to a daughter, there's some additional fear. What would you say was your biggest fear in raising daughters? Efrem Martin [00:02:35]: I think for me, just getting out of the marine corps, I was, you know, I was in the United States Marine Corps and, transitioning out and just being young, just getting my life in order, just planning and trying to understand exactly the direction I was gonna go, getting into school, making sure I got my bachelor's degree, and just planning out my life more than anything else. So that in itself was nervous for me, but I knew I was gonna be a good dad. I wasn't so much worried about that. It was just, it was exciting more than anything else. And, just looking forward to the, challenge because I actually if you believe me or not, I actually wanted daughters because I knew that they would make me a better man. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:16]: So when you say that you knew that being a father to a daughter would make you a better man, talk to me about that. What was it about being a father to a daughter that made you feel that way? Efrem Martin [00:03:27]: Being raised, I came from a single parent household because my father was murdered when I was 2. Okay? So being raised without a father myself and having this incredible mother, My mother was the most nurturing, incredible woman. So getting everything from her, she couldn't teach me how to be a man, but she was just such a nurturer, and she was very attentive. So I got a lot of great qualities from her. And like I said, I didn't have my my father, but I always had my uncles. I had my first cousins. I had my brothers. So I always had good men in my life. Efrem Martin [00:04:00]: I've never been taken advantage of as I was never taken advantage of as a child, as a kid, and my community embraced me as a as a child. So I always had good men in my life. And all the men in my life, even though I didn't have a father, they were all married. So they had their own children. And that wa

04/11/2024

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23 min
23/09/2024

Tailoring Parenting Approaches for Each Child with Travis Hawkley

In a recent episode of Dads with Daughters, we delve into the multifaceted journey of fatherhood with guest Travis Hawkley, a father of three vibrant daughters aged 17, 13, and 9. The episode is a treasure trove of insights, real-life anecdotes, and practical advice for fathers striving to be the best dads they can be. Embracing Each Child's Unique Needs One of the central themes of the conversation is the importance of treating each child as an individual. Travis shares how his middle daughter faced anxiety around dance recitals. Despite her love for dancing, the pressure to perform became overwhelming. Instead of insisting she fit into a conventional dance class, Travis and his wife found a non-performing dance class that allowed their daughter to continue her passion without the stress of recitals. This decision underscores Travis's belief in accommodating each child's unique needs rather than imposing one-size-fits-all expectations. Travis's approach to parenting is a thoughtful balance of supporting his daughters' independence while providing the guidance and resources they need to explore their interests. The key is to avoid making his daughters feel like they need to prioritize his feelings over their own, thereby fostering a sense of independence and self-driven choices. The Power of Curiosity and Engagement Travis advocates for a parenting style rooted in curiosity and engagement. He emphasizes the importance of initiating conversations and asking open-ended questions to understand each child's interests and aspirations. This approach not only strengthens the parent-child bond but also empowers children to express themselves freely. Supporting their interests doesn't have to be costly. Travis suggests starting with low-cost activities to gauge their passion. For example, his oldest daughter's interest in stagecraft was nurtured with encouragement and opportunities to explore theater, even without a clear career path in mind. The support allowed her to pursue her passion without fear of failure. Travis shares that his most successful moments as a father are when his daughters approach him with difficult questions, showcasing their trust and openness. This trust is built through consistent engagement and letting children guide conversations, ensuring they feel heard and valued. Overcoming Limiting Beliefs A significant part of Travis's parenting philosophy is fostering a positive growth mindset. He underscores the importance of helping children overcome limiting beliefs—self-imposed barriers that can hinder their potential. Drawing from his own experience, Travis recalls how being praised for his test-taking skills became a limiting belief, leading him to put less effort into his studies. It was only through conscious effort that he deconstructed this belief to succeed academically later in life. Travis applies these lessons to his children, particularly regarding their future aspirations. His oldest daughter, for instance, feels uncertain about her post-high school plans amidst societal pressure to have a clear career path. Travis reassures her by sharing his varied career experiences and emphasizes the importance of flexibility and openness to change. He encourages her to consider non-traditional career paths, like becoming an electrician while indulging her theater interests, highlighting the value of adaptability in today's world. Inspiration and Influence Travis draws inspiration from his daughters and their interactions, finding joy and motivation in their growth. His parenting style is also influenced by his parents—his mother encouraged exploration and trying new things, while his father, despite different interests, provided a model of support and care. This blend of influences has shaped Travis's motto: "Love wastefully." He emphasizes that love is an inexhaustible resource and advocates for loving fully and unconditionally. This philosophy extends to self-love and maintaining a balance between work and personal fulfillment. Conclusion In his conversation with Dr. Christopher Lewis, Travis Hawkley showcases a profound and nuanced approach to fatherhood. By treating each child as an individual, fostering curiosity, and helping them overcome limiting beliefs, Travis exemplifies the values of love and support that are crucial in raising strong, independent daughters. His journey reminds us that being present, engaged, and adaptable are key components of fatherhood. As Travis encourages, let's all strive to "love wastefully" and support our children's journeys without reservation. TRANSCRIPT (Unedited transcript created through CASTMAGIC) Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]: Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]: Welcome back to the dads with daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. Every week, I love being able to walk on this journey with you because, you know, it is a journey. All of us are on a journey together in trying to raise our daughters. Whether you have a brand new newborn at home or you have college age kids, you're always going to be a father And you're always going to have to do what you can to continue to learn to grow and to be present, to be active and to be able to be there to help your kids to continue to become the people that they're becoming. And we can't do that alone. There are so many other dads that are out there that have walked this path prior to us, are walking side by side with us, and men don't always do a great job of talking to one another. That may not be a surprise to you, but it's true. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:15]: And it's important for us to understand that we have resources in our own community and beyond that can help us to be even better dads. So that's why this podcast exists. This podcast exists to help you to be that active dad that you wanna be, but also to give you some tools for your toolbox and to open up your mind to different ways of doing things because there's no one right way to father. You can do it in so many different ways, but you can learn from other dads too. That's why every week I bring you different guests, different people with different experiences that can help you along that journey. And today we got another great dad with us. Travis Hockley is with us today. And Travis is a father of 3 girls. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:58]: He has 3 girls that are 17, 13, and 9. So he's right in the thick of it and working to help his daughters to prepare them to be grown and flown. He's got one that's gonna graduate this year. So it is a definite process. And I'm really looking forward to talking with him today about his own journey and to share that journey with you as well. Travis, thanks so much for being here today. Travis Hawkley [00:02:24]: Thank you, Christopher. I appreciate it. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:25]: It is my pleasure. I thank you for being here. And we always start our interviews with an opportunity to kind of turn the clock back in time. I love being able to do that. I said you have 3 girls and your oldest is 17. So I'm gonna go back. Maybe it's 18 years. Maybe it's 17 and a half years, you know, but I wanna know what was your first reaction? What was that first reaction that you had when you found out that you were going to be a father to a daughter? Travis Hawkley [00:02:52]: You know, I I've listened to a few episodes of the podcast and have talked to a lot of other dads. And I've noticed that a lot of dads were pretty fearful, terrified, apprehensive about having a daughter. And, honestly, I didn't feel that. I think I probably would have felt more terrified had it been having a boy. And that comes from any number of things. But growing up, I didn't I guess I didn't ever, like, identify a whole lot with a lot of the, like, quote, unquote, stereotypical guy things. Wasn't a huge fan of sport. Didn't really like a lot of that stuff. Travis Hawkley [00:03:25]: I liked art. I liked music. I liked the things that are unfortunately labeled as stereotypically female. And so when we were starting to have kids and I found out I was having a girl, that to me just it felt right. It felt normal. It felt natural. I was like, alright. I I can do this. Travis Hawkley [00:03:43]: And as you mentioned, I have 3. And every time, you know, went through that process and found out I was having another girl, I was just excited. And then after we had our 3rd, someone said, well, are you gonna try for a 4th and see if you can get that boy? And I thought to myself and I'm like, okay. Well, statistically speaking, if we have another one, it's probably gonna be a girl too because that's just the way that that works in in a lot of cases. But I was like, you know, I know girls. I'm a good girl dad. I I know what I'm doing at this point in time. You know, if I were to have a boy, that would really kinda throw things off a little bit. Travis Hawkley [00:04:16]: You know, if if we were to have another one, which we didn't. But having a girl would probably be another great thing. So I didn't really feel that apprehension. I I loved it, and I've loved every minute of being a a girl dad. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:26]: It's definitely a journey and definitely something you have to learn about. I relate to what you said in regards to growing up. I was much more on the music, the choir, the theater, the the things that were not the let's watch basketball, baseball, football, you know, being on the sports teams and things like that. And not to say that there's anything wrong with that, but Nope. That I think that I would have probably felt similar if I had had a son and being able to understand, okay, what do I have to do to be able to understand

23/09/2024

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34 min
09/12/2024

Parenting Beyond Power: Jen Lumanlan's Insights on Engaged Fatherhood and Child Development

An Educational Journey Turned Parenting Mission Jen Lumanlan's shift from a sustainability consulting career to a focus on parenting wasn't incidental. After grappling with the challenges of raising her own daughter, she realized that academic research on child development could serve as a guiding light. This led her to pursue master's degrees in psychology and education, and subsequently, to the creation of her podcast and book. Her primary goal? To leverage her learnings to support other parents facing similar challenges. Challenging Conventional Discipline Understanding the Power Dynamics at Play At the heart of Jen's approach is the critique of conventional discipline methods such as timeouts and consequences. According to Jen, these methods often perpetuate harmful power dynamics. They emphasize a power-over relationship, where the authority figure (the parent) uses their power to correct or control the child. These traditional methods can breed resentment and a lack of genuine understanding. Exploring Alternative Strategies The Shift From Control to Collaboration So, what can parents do instead? Jen advocates for strategies that satisfy both the parent's and the child's needs, fostering a power-sharing relationship. For example, during conflict, she suggests addressing the situation outside of the moment of crisis. Proactive discussions about recurring issues like tooth brushing or bedtime can pave the way for more harmonious solutions. By understanding and meeting each other's needs, both parties can find agreeable strategies, reducing resistance and conflict. Identifying and Meeting Needs The Two-Way Street of Parenting Needs Parents often neglect their own needs in the face of their child's demands, but Jen emphasizes that both parent and child have valid needs. Strategies should aim to fulfill both. She introduces the concept of "cherry needs" — the most critical needs that recur for both parents and children. For instance, a child's need for autonomy can be met with choices that do not compromise the parent's essential needs, such as brushing teeth in a different room. Problem-Solving in Real-Time Navigating Tantrums and Meltdowns Tantrums and meltdowns are common challenges, and Jen offers peace and empathy as the best tools. Understanding the underlying needs that prompt such behaviors and addressing them proactively or with empathetic responses in the heat of the moment can defuse tension. Validating the child's feelings and needs even during a meltdown can lead to quicker resolutions and more trust. Shifting Dynamics with Teens It's Never Too Late to Transform Relationships Parents of older children might assume it's too late for change, but Jen underscores that it's never too late. Even with tweens and teens, shifting from a power-over to a power-sharing dynamic can salvage and improve the relationship. She proposes using phrases like "I'm worried that…" to express needs and concerns, fostering mutual respect and understanding. Healing From Our Own Childhood Breaking Cycles Through Self-Reflection Many of our parenting triggers stem from our own childhood experiences. By unpacking and healing these old traumas, parents can become more conscious and connected. This self-awareness prevents past negative patterns from repeating, helping parents respond more thoughtfully rather than reacting on impulse. Broader Societal Change Raising Children Who Challenge Injustice Jen believes that by fostering power-sharing relationships at home, we can equip children to challenge systemic injustices. When children learn to view all individuals' needs as equally important, they carry this perspective into broader societal contexts, questioning and challenging systems of domination and inequality. Jen Lumanlan's insights offer valuable guidance in our quest to raise empathetic, empowered children. By shifting from control to collaboration and addressing the deeper needs within our family dynamics, we not only nurture healthier relationships but also contribute to a more just world. Tune into this enlightening episode of Dads with Daughters for more practical wisdom on transformative parenting. Connect with Jen and deepen your understanding of parenting dynamics at Your Parenting Mojo. TRANSCRIPT Dr.Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]: Welcome to Dads with Daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]: Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. As always, every week, you and I are on a journey together. I love being on this journey with you where we have an opportunity to be able to learn together about what it takes to be that dad that we wanna be. And all of us wanna be that those engaged dads, those dads that are there for our kids. And it takes work. It takes time. It takes effort to be a quality parent, and it takes resources. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:55]: And that's why this podcast exists. Every week, I love being able to bring you different guests, different people with different experiences that can bring different resources to you, different different opportunities for you to learn and grow. The the biggest thing is that you're open to learning. And that's what I hope for me for you every week when we're talking. This week, we got another great guest with us. Jen Loominlan is with us today. And Jen hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which was named the best research parenting podcast by Lifehacker. It's been downloaded over 3,000,000 times. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:33]: After attending Berkeley and Yale and following a traditional career path in sustainability consulting, Jen found that parenting was her toughest challenge yet. She went back to school for a master's degree in psychology focused on child development and another in education and trained as a coactive coach to share what she learned with other parents. She's an author of the book Parenting Beyond Power, How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family and the world. And today, we're gonna be talking with her about her own experiences and these experiences with the book and some of the things that you can take out of this book to help you to be that parent that you wanna be. Jen, thanks so much for being here today. Jen Lumanlan [00:02:16]: Thanks for having me. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:16]: It is my pleasure. I mentioned the fact that you've got this book that you've put out into the world. As an author myself, I know how much time, effort, passion has to go into putting a book out into the world. And it is a lot of time and effort, and you have to have a passion for it to be able to get to that end point. So tell me the story. What what was it about? You know, I introduced you. You you had this career, but you said, you know what? I wanna go back and I want to do do more work on education, work with parents. But what made you decide that you wanted to put all this into a book that was gonna help others? What drew you to that final point? Jen Lumanlan I think I started the podcast because, you know, I had no idea how to parent. And I didn't have the most amazing parenting role models myself either, and so I realized I could look to academic research to help me understand how to go about raising my daughter. And so I kind of figured, you know, I I should get some education on this so that I can put some kind of guardrails around it and know I'm not missing anything huge, and that's what led to the master's degrees. And and then I was kinda thinking, well, it's kinda silly to do all this learning for myself and not share it. So I created the podcast to share that with other people. And then I over the course of of sort of exploring a lot of topics on the podcast that we have over 200 episodes now that are all research based. And I think, you know, it became really clear that I was hearing similar challenges from parents over and over again. And and they're kind of variations on the phrase, how do I get my child to Right? How do I get my kid to put their shoes on in the morning, to eat their breakfast, to stay at the dinner table, to get in the bath, to stay in bed at the end of the night? You know? And that's just the toddler set. Jen Lumanlan [00:03:59]: The challenges expand from there. So, what I realized was the the tools that I had learned from others and kind of adapted with putting my own spin on them were really helping parents to kind of address those challenges, those daily challenges on a day to day basis. And at the same time, they also help us to address some of the big challenges that we face out in the world that are related to kind of being in power over relationships. And it turns out that our kids learn a lot about power from our relationships with them and when we're using our power to get them to because it seems like that's the only thing we can do. Right? We just wanna get through the day. It's not we want to use our our power over our kids. We're just trying to get through the day. And we use our power because it seems like that's the only option we have because that's what was modeled for us when we were kids. Jen Lumanlan [00:04:50]: And if we can instead see how to be in a power sharing relationship with our kids, then our kids stop resisting us because you don't resist when your needs are met and when, you know, when you're not being sort of dominated by somebody else. And and also that will help us to address some of the social challenges we face that have their origins in these power based relationships. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:11]: So let's talk a little bit about power because in your book, you do talk about the that that power dynamic, and you challenge conventional discipline me

09/12/2024

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29 min
16/07/2020

Leading By Example | Joél Leon

Finding time for ourselves as parents is not always easy, especially attempting to find the time to pursue (or even discover) our passions. In episode 12, Kevin welcomes Joél Leon, a celebrated artist whose Ted Talk on coparenting has over a million views... and the man Lin-Manuel Miranda called “the most inspiring guy in my twitter feed.” Together, they discuss strategies to inspire ourselves even in the most chaotic of times, as well as everything from finding ways to incorporate more #creativity and #passion into our lives as parents to leading by example in becoming the best version of ourselves for our children... and the work it takes to get there. // Read some of Joél's work // Watch Joél's Ted Talk / For some self-love, try a FREE Trial of Headspace -> http://HeadSpace.DILFpodcast.com // If this episode was helpful to you in any way, please consider sharing it with others or writing a REVIEW ...and help us to reach more like-minded parents in need of support! / For more information on DILF, visit us at DadIdLikeToFriend.com // For questions, comments, or future topic suggestions, DM us on Instagram -> @DILFpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

16/07/2020

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40 min
26/10/2020

Being Vulnerable and Open With Your Kids With Mike Reynolds

Today on the Dads with Daughters Podcast we spoke with Mike Reynolds of Everyday Girl Dad about being vulnerable and open with your kids in regards to mental health as well as all aspects of life. Mike has been an advocate for gender equality as well as challenging the definition of masculinity and femininity as well as challenging men to support menstruation. If you've enjoyed today's episode of the Dads With Daughters podcast we invite you to check out the Fatherhood Insider. The Fatherhood Insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual and most are figuring it out as they go along. The Fatherhood Insider is full of valuable resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step-by-step roadmaps and more you will engage and learn with experts but more importantly with dads like you. So check it out today! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

26/10/2020

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32 min
07/11/2024 · BONUS

Balance is Bullsh*t (DILF RePlay Series)

If you’ve ever felt hurt or useless due to your child’s close relationship with your partner, you are NOT alone. In this DILF Replay, host Kevin Seldon welcomes successful entrepreneur, Ari Bloom, who's made a career out of manifesting the dreams of others while remaining behind the scenes — similar to his life as a parent. So, how does this versatile entrepreneur somehow still find the time to make his family a priority? The answer may surprise you... Together, Kevin and Ari —Founder and CEO of A-Frame Brands, the company behind Kinlo (Naomi Osaka's suncare brand), Loved01 (a skincare line from John Legend), and Proudly (a baby care line for children of color by Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union), as well as the co-founder of Wise Sons Delicatessen — share an honest discussion on everything from the power of transparency and the importance of fighting our tendencies toward auto-pilot, to why the concept of balance… is bullshit. // If this episode was helpful to you in any way, please consider sharing it with others or writing a REVIEW ...and help us to reach more like-minded parents in need of support! / For more information on DILF, visit us at DadIdLikeToFriend.com // For questions, comments, or future topic suggestions, DM us on Instagram -> @DILFpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

07/11/2024 · Bonus

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41 min
15/04/2024

Navigating Dad-Daughter Dynamics: Stories from the Ash-Shakoor Family

Today's Dads with Daughters' podcast featured some amazing guests. actor, pastor and father, Aqeel Ash-Shakoor and his daughter Jaylah Ash-Shakoor. The discussions revolved around their experiences, highlighting the integral role of fathers in daughter's lives, and providing valuable lessons for dads everywhere. **A Father's Protective Instinct and Balancing Parenthood with a Career** When Aqeel learned he was about to become a father to a daughter, he felt a profound sense of responsibility and protectiveness. He reflected on his initial desire to have a daughter and shared the powerful moment of witnessing her birth. Aqeel also discussed the concerns fathers often face, particularly when it comes to protecting their daughters in a world that can sometimes be unkind. Balancing a busy career with involved fatherhood, Aqeel emphasizes the importance of prioritization, with a three-rule mantra: 'God, family, handle your business.' **The Importance of Father-Daughter Relationships** Jaylah spoke candidly about the evolution of her appreciation for her father's protective nature. As she transitioned into adulthood, she understood the value of having a supportive dad and recognized the unique challenges that come with the territory. Aqeel and Jaylah mutually stressed the significance of a father's presence and guidance in shaping a daughter's sense of self and decision-making abilities. **Communication and Trust - Key Pillars of Parenthood** A crucial topic discussed in the podcast revolves around the essence of communication in building strong father-daughter relationships. Aqeel and Jaylah highlighted the need for clear dialogue, understanding, and a foundation of trust. They emphasized that parents must believe in their children's capabilities and support them in carving their own paths, even when they diverge from expectations. **Building Confidence and Resilience** Aqeel shared an affectionate account of fostering confidence in Jaylah. He recounted his efforts to instill resilience by encouraging her to embrace challenges, including navigating self-doubt at her new school. This mirrors in Jaylah's own aspirations for impact and influence in her endeavors as an influencer and entrepreneur. **The Ash-Shakoor Legacy of Individualism and Success** Aqeel's humble beginnings and his vow at nine years old to achieve success laid a foundation for his parenting approach, focused on teaching his children to believe in themselves without excuses. Jaylah spoke of her father's imprint on her ambition, the value of taking charge, and owning the room, attributing her confidence to the freedom her parents granted her. In conclusion, this episode serves as a powerful testament to the deep bonds, challenges, and triumphs within father-daughter relationships. It's an encouragement for dads to embrace their unique journey with their daughters, supporting them to reach their full potential, and leaving a legacy of love, respect, and understanding. TRANSCRIPT Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]: Welcome to Dads With Daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]: Welcome back to the dads with daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. Every week, I love being able to sit down and talk to you about the journey that you are on with your daughters. Doug. It is a exciting time. It is a important time, and it is so important for you to be actively engaged in your daughter's lives And being willing to learn along with her and going on this journey along with her as well. Every week, I also love being able to have different people, different people to share their experiences. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:56]: We've had dads on the show. We've had moms on the show. We've had Other people with tons of resources that are sharing those resources with you. And there are special moments when I have an opportunity to be able to have a Father and a daughter on the show, and that's today what we're going to be doing. Today, I've got 2 great guests with us. Reverend Dr. Aqeel Ash-Shakoor is with us today, and his daughter, Jaylah, is with us as well. And I'm really excited to have them here today to talk about Their journey as father and daughter and to learn more from them. Aqeel, Jaylah, thanks so much for being here today. Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:01:35]: Thank you much. Thank you. Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:01:36]: No problem. Thank you. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:38]: Well, I really appreciate you both being here. And I guess first and foremost, I wanna turn the clock back in time, Aqeel. I want to have you go back. I wanna go all the way back. I wanna go back to that first moment that you found out that you were going to be a father. To a daughter. What was going through your head? Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:01:55]: Wow. Amazing. That is a trip down memory lane. I will say that. So the journey goes like this. My first son, which is the oldest, his name is Jabriel. And so when I was in the marine corps serving active duty, the One of my gunnery sergeants had a little daughter, and, I was just so marveled that she was, like, 2 years old. Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:02:15]: But she was so affluent, and her Noah. Was just incredible. She can carry on the conversation. I just was, like, from there, so I kept asking him, like, what are you guys doing? He just said he just told me that lesson. Just don't talk baby talk to them when they get older. So I had that in mind, but at the same time, our 1st child was a son. And let me tell you something. Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:02:34]: I think I forgot all about no That I wanted a girl first. So here we are. We're living in Hollywood, Florida. And I tell you, we came home, and I realized that, wow, No. It's finally happening. We've had we're here to have a girl. It was like, wow. Based off of my mother, my mother had boy, girl,. Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:02:53]: Which I have been the oldest, and my sister was the youngest. And so I definitely wanted to complete that, at least have a girl and a boy in this lifetime. And now here it was. We're about to bring this little thing right here that we call Jaylah into the world, and it was just Nuts. So amazing. I can still see standing in the delivery room now, and even our oldest son was standing at the foot of the bed too. No He was witnessing her coming into the world as well, and that is just I'm doing a poor job being able to put it into words because I can never find the words for that. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:27]: Now I hear from a lot of fathers that especially with daughters that there are times where the There is fear. There's fear in raising daughters, and I hear that a lot from a lot of dads. And I guess for you, what was or is your biggest fear In raising a daughter. Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:03:44]: Okay. We already get to the beat of this thing already. Yes. So my daughter and my wife contend that It is the same raising girls as it is boys, and I contend that it's not. There's a lot of protectiveness And no fault of her own, but I just I have always just felt like, you know, that hedge of protection. If I can't be there, no I'm always worried even when she was away in college. From walking through the house at 2 o'clock in the morning, and I think about it, she gets a call at 2 AM in the morning. Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:04:20]: And still sometimes now. And she may say, daddy, what in the world is going on? I said, oh, nothing. I'm good now. I just needed to hear your voice. But you just always wonder about something happening. And I and maybe we shouldn't think that way, but, You're just always wondering. With the boys, I feel like the boys, can handle themselves, but, you know, the daughter, the the daughter is everything. She you know, you think of her being left unprotected with no covering. Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:04:49]: And, You know, and I gotta tell the truth here. And, you know, Chris, when we think about who we were as little boys, we understand why we were about our little girls. So Definitely. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:02]: And, Jaylah, how does that make you feel? Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:05:04]: Well, you know what? Honestly, if you had been asking me this question probably about about 4 years ago. I'd probably laugh and just think it was a joke. But, in all seriousness, I think now, having grown into, Domino's. A woman. I do think that it's it's very interesting because it's true to it. You know? And I think the older you get, the As a young lady, you start to see the world more. You see men like that. You know? You see me and dad's age. You actually you work with some of the men on dad's age and just in that male group, and you start to pick up on how men think, How they speak, how they view themselves, and how they view others, and women as well. It it does as a woman, I feel like When you get older, it does make you, be a little bit more grateful for that. And I've had the Different, friends and associates and different groups who grew up without fathers, and dads or or what have you. And it's very interesting the To hear the difference in the response to that question. So when you're younger, you always think, oh, oh, sure. You know, if I didn't have my dad, my dad's just controlling me. But now looking back, it's like, wow. You know? If you know, fathers need their daughters, and daughters honestly need their fathers. Yeah. Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:06:26]: They really, really, really do. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:27]: Now, Aqeel, 1 question that I have to throw out your way is that you're a busy guy. Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:06:33]: Yes, sir. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:34]: And you and I we

15/04/2024

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55 min
21/10/2024

Empowering Dads: Strategies for Raising daughters and Creating Family Culture

Fatherhood presents unique challenges and opportunities for growth, particularly when raising daughters. In this week's Dads with Daughters podcast, we welcome Don Manning or Crazy Cool Family delving deep into the realities of father-daughter relationships, providing valuable insights and practical strategies for dads committed to being the best they can be. Reframing Teenage Years Understanding and Embracing the Journey A common perception is that the teenage years are inevitably challenging. Dr. Christopher Lewis offers a refreshing perspective, suggesting that with the right approach, these years can be full of positive experiences and growth for both fathers and daughters. Central to this approach is the belief in the importance of a strong family belief system and a nurturing environment. By actively working to build relationships, fathers can play a crucial role in creating a supportive and understanding family dynamic. Personal Growth and Faith Dr. Lewis shares his personal journey, where his Christian faith and a wealth of parenting literature have significantly influenced his parenting style. The emphasis on feeling seen and heard in reversing trauma is a key takeaway, underscoring the importance of emotional availability and sensitivity to a child's needs. Creating a Family Culture Building a Network of Relationships The concept of building a family culture akin to a network of relationships is pivotal in maintaining strong family dynamics. Dr. Lewis emphasizes that this approach can create a cohesive unit where each member feels valued and understood. The ripple effect of this approach is evident in Lewis's own family, where their methodologies attracted interest from others, leading to the development of a curriculum, writing a book, and creating a ministry. Resources for Continuous Improvement Over time, their ministry has developed numerous resources, including parenting books, a podcast, interactive workbooks, and a daily email subscription, all aimed at helping dads improve their relationships with their children. These resources stress the importance of fathers becoming better listeners, more encouraging, and building trust with their children. Challenges for Modern Dads Technology and Connection Modern dads face unique challenges, notably the impact of technology on family connections and the lack of training in relationship-building. The podcast highlights the need for fathers to be proactive in carving out quality time with their children, away from screens and distractions. Spending Quality Time Intentional involvement in everyday activities, be it errands or special outings, is key to building strong bonds. Such consistent, quality time helps in understanding and connecting with each child's unique personality. Vulnerability and Self-Improvement Importance of Being Open and Transparent Both speakers agree that vulnerability—being open, transparent, and admitting faults—is crucial in forming stronger connections with daughters. This openness fosters a sense of trust and mutual respect, which is essential for a healthy father-daughter relationship. Focusing on Self-Improvement Dr. Lewis stresses that presenting the best version of oneself is more beneficial for children than focusing on their shortcomings. This perspective encourages dads to embark on a continuous journey of self-improvement, setting a positive example for their children. Parenting with Faith Over Fear Don Manning's Journey Don Manning shares his experience transitioning from parenting with fear to parenting with faith. Initially, fear led him to adopt a controlling style, which proved ineffective. Over time, Manning learned that building relational connections was far more impactful than merely enforcing rules. Encouragement and Trust Manning emphasizes that no single approach to parenting is always correct. The hardest part, he notes, is dealing with fear and learning to trust that his daughters will make the right choices despite the challenges they may face. This approach fosters a more relaxed and nurturing environment. Crazy Cool Family Mission Transforming Fatherhood Dr. Lewis discusses the mission of Crazy Cool Family, an organization aimed at helping parents improve their relationships with their children and become better versions of themselves. The ministry encourages fathers to be actively involved and continuously learn about parenting and relationships. Shared Experience and Reevaluating Beliefs Most men aspire to be good fathers but often lack the knowledge or vision to achieve this goal. Reflecting on their upbringing or external challenges, both speakers recommend reevaluating long-held beliefs about parenting and embracing new insights—such as Dr. Lewis's realization about teenage rebellion. Conclusion Fatherhood is a lifelong journey of learning, growth, and forming deep connections. By embracing vulnerability, prioritizing quality time, and committing to self-improvement, dads can navigate the complexities of raising daughters with confidence and grace. The insights shared by Dr. Christopher Lewis and Don Manning provide a roadmap for fathers striving to build strong, loving relationships with their daughters. TRANSCRIPT (Unedited transcript created by CASTMAGIC) Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]: Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:15]: Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. As always, you and I are on a journey together. I love being able to walk this path with you every week as we are talking about the thing that I know I'm most passionate about and I'm sure you're most passionate about, which is raising our daughters and raising them into being those strong, independent women that we want them to be in their lives. And I know in the path that I've been on, there have been so many dads that I've turned to to try and gain more perspective. Because I didn't know everything, And no dad knows everything. And as you walk into fatherhood, there's not one right manual. There's not one right way to father. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:08]: So it's so important that we as men are willing to step up and ask questions and listen and watch and learn, but be able to also take some tools from other people, put them in our own toolbox and be able to put them to work. And that's what this podcast is all about. It's all about helping you to find other resources, find other ways of doing things to be able to help you on this journey that you're on. That's why every week I bring you different guests, different people with different experiences that allow for you to be able to go on this path with others. Because we all have a journey to be on, and it's so important to be able to learn from others. And today we've got another great guest. Don Manning is with us today. And Don has been on a parenting journey for quite some time. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:00]: He's got 7 kids, 4 daughters, 3 sons, And he is a business owner. He's an investor. He has worked in real estate. He does a lot of different things, but he also has something called crazy cool family. And we're gonna be talking about that as well as him being a father himself, and I'm really excited to have him here. Don, thanks so much for being here today. Don Manning [00:02:24]: Yeah. Glad to be here. You said strong, independent women, and that's so I just laugh because that describes my 4 daughters to a t, and my wife too. I mean, I've got very we've got very strong independent women in our household, so it just that's funny when you said that. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:42]: I want to turn the clock back in time on you, and I know that you've got kids that range all the way from 34 on down. And your oldest 4 are your daughters. So I wanna go back to that first moment. That first moment that you found out that you were going to be a dad to a daughter, what was going through your head? Don Manning [00:03:00]: Well, first of all, so my wife brought our first daughter to the marriage. So I knew I was going to be a so I've got a blended family, you know, and so my wife then we had 3 girls and 3 sons together after that. So when we got married, my oldest daughter was 2. In some ways, I say I fell in love with her daughter and married the mom, but that's not really true. But I really had no idea. So I'd I was the youngest in my family. I'd never been around kids. And suddenly, I'm married, and I have this 2 year old, and I'm not her dad. Don Manning [00:03:36]: And so quick story, so you're talking about first memory. So Suzanne and I dated my wife, Suzanne, and I, we dated for a year before we got married. So we were you know, I was I was accustomed to Molly, our our oldest daughter. And so but we go on. We get married and and, we go on our honeymoon and we come back and I'm like, okay. Because Suzanne, you know, this was so typical of a dad. You know, I know how to parent better than she does. Right? And I've watched her parents, so I'm like, I can give her some advice. Don Manning [00:04:03]: You know? As we come into the house, new sheriff in town. We're gonna take over. We're gonna help her help my wife become a better parent. Right? That's that's kind of the the mantra I had coming in because I knew everything. And so the first night we get back home, and Molly's daughter would wake up in the middle of the night, and she there was 2 things. She would wake up and she would cry, and she had a a pretty sensitive gag reflex. So I walk up there, and and and when I was with Suzanne, she would tell me about how, you know, she would have to stay up with her all night. And I was like, hey, I'll help you with this because I th

21/10/2024

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31 min

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