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19 ene

"I Might Knock": Heated Rivalry... the Show We Can't Stop Watching

Look, if you had told me six months ago that a Canadian hockey romance would become the most culturally significant television event since—actually, I don't have a comparison because NOTHING prepares you for Heated Rivalry. This is a movement. And based on Mandy's conversation with returning guest Jon Cassie (of MMAN Severance fame, but more importantly, of Heated Rivalry obsession fame), we might need to start building temples.Here's what Jon makes clear: this show kicks down the door in the first twelve minutes with full nudity, graphic intimacy, AND a deeply moving love story—all at once. Created by Crave Media (a Canadian company that rejected HBO's ridiculous notes about "saving steaminess for season two"), the series follows rivals Shane Hollander and Ilya Rosanoff through a decade-spanning secret relationship. Mandy, who wanted "some conversation before all the effing," eventually gets her Hepburn-Tracy wit in exchanges like "I might knock" / "I might open." The show delivers both physical chemistry and intellectual connection, launching four legendary careers while giving audiences a complete, satisfying journey.Jon hasn't been "swept away obsessively by a show in decades"—and he's watched this one multiple times. That's the power of Hudson Williams and Connor Finley's chemistry, the devastating beauty of feet touching under tables, and a show that respects its audience enough to be exactly what it set out to be. Heated Rivalry isn't just good queer television. It's exceptional television, period. --- Learn more about supporting this podcast by becoming a member. It's just $5/month or $55/year. Visit our website to learn more.

19 ene

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1 h 3 min
23/10/2025

Future You is Counting On You with James Ochoa

We love to say it: “Your future self will thank you.” It’s a mantra for hopeful planning, a reminder that the effort you put in now will pay off later. But for people with ADHD, that phrase can land like a challenge you keep failing to meet — because the gap between Now You and Future You can feel impossibly wide. This week, we welcome back our friend James Ochoa, licensed professional counselor, author of Focused Forward, and creator of the new reflective tool 11Q Your ADHD. Together, we’re digging into what makes long-term planning feel so fraught for ADHD brains — and how we can reconnect with the version of ourselves we’re trying to help. We’ll talk about the emotional weight of goal-setting, how perfectionism sabotages progress, and why redefining responsibility as self-support — not pressure — changes everything. James highlights how planning isn’t about control or productivity; it’s about compassion. When you treat “future you” like someone worth caring for, you create the emotional safety that makes real progress possible. We also explore practical scaffolding: tools, community, and systems that “have your back” when motivation dips — because ADHD management isn’t a solo project. Whether you’re learning to forgive past missteps or just trying to make tomorrow a little easier, this conversation will help you find hope and grace in the small choices that compound over time. And stay tuned — James introduces his new project, 11Q Your ADHD, a reflective experience designed to help you strengthen your internal guidance system and cultivate a kinder, more curious relationship with yourself. Future You isn’t a stranger. They’re someone you can start taking care of — today. Links & Notes 11Q Your ADHD - Free Vision Exercise | James OchoaSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (00:59) - Support the Show at Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (01:43) - Unapologetically ADHD is OUT! (02:54) - Introducing James Ochoa (05:13) - Visualizing Your Future Self (16:06) - A Sidebar on Trust (38:19) - 11Q Your ADHD ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

23/10/2025

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49 min
18 jun

Rewriting the Rules You Inherited About Worth

There's a rule most of us signed before we could read it. It decides whether we're worth anything, and it tends to set the same terms for everyone who carries an ADHD brain: you're valuable if you perform, if you keep every plate spinning, if you never let anyone down. Live under that contract long enough and it stops feeling like a belief and starts feeling like a fact — written, as the metaphor goes this week, in permanent ink. Where did the rule come from? Often from the earliest lessons — the pulled-out-of-class, extra-time, here-are-your-accommodations lessons that were meant to level the field but landed as proof you were different. The gap they leave behind doesn't shrink with age. There's research suggesting it widens. The assumption that everyone else has this figured out turns out to be the lie that keeps the rule in place. Links & Notes Support the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:17) - Join the Patreon! (03:13) - Rewriting Rules ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

18 jun

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31 min
28 may

Why Advice Stops Working When You’re Tired

We've all been there: someone offers a perfectly reasonable suggestion, and instead of taking it in, you bristle. You're tired. You're cranky. The last thing you want is advice. This week, Pete and Nikki tackle what happens when ADHD meets fatigue — and why the strategies that usually work suddenly don't. This isn't laziness. It isn't a character flaw. It's what happens when executive functions are already running on a deficit and you pile fatigue on top. Pete brings the research, including a study showing 62% of adults with ADHD meet the criteria for chronic fatigue syndrome — a reminder that "everybody gets tired" is true, but ADHD brains get tired in a different and vastly more significant way. The conversation moves from the science to the lived experience: the guilt loop that keeps you from resting, the way fatigue distorts reality until small tasks feel like moral referendums, and the rewiring required to treat recovery as part of the work — not a reward you have to earn. Plus: why "I don't wanna" might be a capacity check in disguise, the four categories of recovery that actually work (hint: sleep is only one of them), and Nikki's insight that the recovery muscle is built through trial and error, not advance planning. LINKS & RESOURCES Past episode referenced: The Opportunity CostPast episode referenced: Capacity conversation with Brooke SchnittmanSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (03:10) - The Tired Problem ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

28 may

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26 min
11 jun

What It Means to Be “Good Enough” With ADHD

"Good enough" is a phrase that can land like permission or like an accusation — and for ADHD brains that have spent a lifetime being told we're not trying hard enough, both feelings often arrive at once. This week, we're untangling that knot. Why does a phrase meant to release us so often feel like settling? Why does the ADHD brain hear "good enough" and translate it into "not enough"? And what would it actually take to reclaim the phrase as our own? This is really all about intention — the difference between walking away from something because you've been defeated by it, and walking away because you've made a choice. One leaves you smaller. The other builds something. We talk about the standards we measure ourselves against (almost always invented), the freeze that comes when nothing feels possible, and the small, almost invisible acts that count as progress even when they don't feel like it. By the end, we land somewhere unexpectedly tender: a reminder that the way we build trust with ourselves isn't by finishing things perfectly. It's by finishing them at all. There's a free download this week — five questions to help you decide what's good enough — linked below. Links & Notes Download the What Does It Mean to be Good Enough? Worksheet!Support the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:25) - Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (02:56) - What does it mean to be good enough? (21:51) - How do you know it's good enough? ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

11 jun

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25 min
4 jun

Permission Slips You Keep Waiting For

There's a kind of waiting most ADHDers know well — waiting for someone, somewhere, to say it's okay. Okay to rest. Okay to stop masking. Okay to take the accommodation. Okay to want what you want without justifying it. In this conversation, we get into the permission slips we keep waiting for, often from authority figures who may not even exist anymore. We talk about why ADHDers wait — the research-backed link between years of childhood correction and adult reliance on external validation — and what that has to do with decision paralysis, rejection sensitivity, masking, and the exhaustion of performing a version of yourself that you didn't sign up for. Plus the swan, self-determination theory, and a small concrete first step you can try this week. Links & Notes Download The ADHD Permission Slip!Support the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:26) - Patreon.com/TheADHDPodcast (02:36) - Your Permission Slips ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

4 jun

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32 min
7 may

What to Look For in a Planning Tool

There's a moment every ADHDer knows: you open the task manager, see the sea of red, and close it again. This week, Nikki and Pete sit with that moment — and with what it's actually telling you. The instinct is to blame the tool. Something's wrong with the app, the planner, the notebook. Time for something new. But what if the tool is doing exactly what it's supposed to do, and the thing you're really avoiding is something else entirely? Nikki walks through the two non-negotiables of any planning toolkit, why hybrid systems quietly fall apart in the in-between stages, and the one thing she asks every new one-on-one client to do within a week. Pete confesses to running four systems at once, lays out his tool-finding intestines on the table (his words, not ours), and makes the case for why your app isn't just an app — it's a lifeline. Plus: FOBO, task rot, the moral weight of a few simple minutes, and why the best tools are the ones that ask you to pay for them. Stick around for Nikki's brand-new download, Your Planning Tool Finder — a short guide to the questions worth answering before you pick your next tool. Link below. Links & Notes Your Planning Tool Finder (free download)Unapologetically ADHD by Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer — the book behind the frameworkGPS Planning Membership — Nikki's coaching community for planning, capture, and workflowSupport the show on Patreon — early ad-free episodes, livestream recordings, members-only Discord: (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:44) - Patreon.com/TheADHDPodcast (02:34) - Talking Tools ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

7 may

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36 min
21 may

Why “I’ll Deal With It Later” Is an Energy Leak with Ari Tuckman

We've all said it. "I'll deal with it later." And somehow, later never comes. The thing just sits there — not in your calendar, but in your head. It pings you in the shower. It shows up right before you fall asleep. That's an energy leak. This week, Ari Tuckman returns for his sixth appearance to unpack what's actually happening when we tell ourselves "later." What is the ADHD brain doing in that moment? Are we making a real decision, or just kicking the can? And how do we tell the difference? We dig into: The two flavors of procrastination — not feeling the future vs. avoiding the discomfortWhy "later" needs a "when," and what specificity actually changesThe difference between a task that needs doing and a decision that needs makingHow to close an open loop that's been open way too longGoing toward positives vs. avoiding negatives, and why one of those is more sustainableTime estimation, and why some things aren't knowable until you startAri's new book, the ADHD Productivity ManualGuest Spotlight Ari Tuckman, PsyD is a psychologist, author, and international presenter specializing in ADHD. He's given more than 600 presentations and podcast interviews across America and nine other countries, and is the author of four books: ADHD After Dark, Understand Your Brain, Get More Done, More Attention, Less Deficit, and Integrative Treatment for Adult ADHD. He chairs the CHADD Conference Committee. This is his sixth appearance on the show. Links & Notes Ari's website: https://drarituckman.comAri on Instagram: @AriTuckmanPsyDBooks by Ari Tuckman:ADHD After DarkUnderstand Your Brain, Get More DoneMore Attention, Less DeficitIntegrative Treatment for Adult ADHDADHD Productivity Manual (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:13) - Join us over on Patreon! (02:13) - Introducing Ari Tuckman (03:06) - "I'll do it later..." ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

21 may

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38 min
16 abr

Later Life Diagnosis: The Relief, The Regret, & The Reality with Linda Roggli

Here’s a story a lot of women know. You’ve been getting by — maybe not perfectly, but you’ve been getting by. And then something shifts. Suddenly the coping strategies that used to work don’t. The brain fog is different. The irritability is new. And nobody around you — including your doctor — seems to have a particularly good answer for why. For women with ADHD, the answer is often estrogen. And for too long, that connection has been wildly undertreated. Linda Roggli has been living this story and researching it and coaching women through it for twenty years. She’s the founder of the ADDiva Network for ADHD Women 40 and Better, and she joins Pete and Nikki to trace the whole arc: what estrogen actually does for the dopamine-depleted ADHD brain, what happens when it starts its perimenopause roller coaster, why the Women’s Health Initiative study scared a generation of women away from hormone therapy that could have helped them, and what the science now says about timing, delivery methods, and who it’s actually for. It is a lot of information, delivered with the kind of warmth and hard-won clarity that only comes from someone who has personally been told by a doctor, “You’re not in menopause” — and then spent decades making sure other women don’t get that same non-answer. Links & Notes Linda Roggli — professional certified coach, award-winning author, founder of the ADDiva Network for ADHD Women 40 and BetterDriven to Distraction by Edward Hallowell and John Ratey — the book Linda’s therapist recommended at her diagnosis; she read it in the bookstore on the way homeWomen’s Health Initiative — the federal study whose 1990s findings caused a generation of women to stop hormone therapy; Linda explains why the study was fatally flawedDr. Patricia Quinn — ADHD specialist whose research on estrogen-only therapy for ADHD womenSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:08) - Patreon.com/TheADHDPodcast (02:11) - ADHD Aging, Hormones, and More (04:34) - Linda Roggli ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

16 abr

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45 min
30 abr

When Productivity Advice Ignores Capacity with Brooke Schnittman

Most productivity advice was built for brains that start on demand, stay consistent, and prioritize logically. That's not us. This week, Brooke Schnittman returns for her third visit to the show to dig into one of the most frustrating disconnects in ADHD life: the gap between what we think we can do in a day and what our actual capacity will allow. Pete and Nikki walk through the familiar trap — fifteen red-line tasks, two hours of actual focus time, and the stubborn belief that somehow we'll get it all done anyway. Brooke names it for what it is: magical thinking backed by people-pleasing, propped up by shame. Together they explore why ADHD brains need to plan to plan, what "sampling the no" actually looks like in practice, and how masking shows up in our task lists in ways we rarely notice. Brooke introduces her STOP framework for sorting the week — Stressful, Time-consuming, Ordinary, Passionate — and makes a case for the kind of white space most of us have been taught to see as failure. There's also a frank conversation about burnout: what it looks like for neurodivergent people, why it lasts longer than we expect, and the 1% action that can keep momentum alive when everything else has stopped. And a reminder that if you're showing up at 40% battery, then 40% is your 100% for the day — and that's enough. GUEST SPOTLIGHT Brooke Schnittman, MA, PCC, BCC is a nationally recognized ADHD coach and the founder of Coaching With Brooke. She's the author of Activate Your ADHD Potential, a roadmap for high-achieving ADHDers who are tired of running fast and getting nowhere. Brooke trains ADHD coaches through her 3C Activation System and is passionate about bringing ADHD coaching into universities to support students directly. This is her third appearance on the show. LINKS & NOTES Coaching With BrookeActivate Your ADHD Potential by Brooke SchnittmanSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:51) - Intentions Versus Expectations (09:20) - Productivity and People Pleasing (20:03) - The Complicated Question of Capacity (31:16) - Burnout ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

30 abr

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38 min

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