Friendless

James Avramenko
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  • MENTAL HEALTH
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Are you feeling lonely or struggling to make friends? You're not alone. In 'Friendless,' host James Avramenko explores the ups and downs of friendship, the challenges of making new connections, and the impact of social isolation on our mental health. Each episode, James talks to people from all walks of life who have experienced friendship struggles and share their stories of triumph and perseverance. From overcoming shyness to navigating social anxiety, 'Friendless' offers practical tips and empathetic advice to help you build meaningful connections and find your community. Join James as he explores the complex world of human connection and the power of friendship.

  1. Finding the Off-Ramp From Runaway Thoughts (DBT Micro-Season — Mindfulness Part 1)

    1 DAY AGO · VIDEO

    Finding the Off-Ramp From Runaway Thoughts (DBT Micro-Season — Mindfulness Part 1)

    in this very special episode of Friendless, we're kicking off the DBT micro-season with Mindfulness Part 1, and no — this is not the sit-cross-legged-and-think-about-nothing version. This is practical mindfulness. The kind that gives you an off-ramp when your brain is catastrophising about a blank document or a text that went unanswered. Today we're covering the three "What" skills: Observe, Describe, and Participate. These are the foundation everything else builds on. They're deceptively simple, which doesn't mean they're easy — but they're the tools that let you notice when you're time-traveling into worst-case scenarios and choose to come back to the present. What You'll LearnObserve — How to notice what's happening without trying to change it, fix it, or make it go away. Just acknowledging "my heart is racing" or "I'm having anxious thoughts" without layering judgment on top. Describe — How to put words to what you're observing. The difference between "I'm failing" and "I'm having the thought that I'm failing." Words create distance. Distance gives you options. Participate — How to give your full attention to what you're doing right now instead of being on autopilot. Not every second of every day — just having the ability to come back when you notice you've drifted. In This Episode Why mindfulness gets a bad rap (and why DBT mindfulness is different) The spiral I had preparing to write this very script — and how my brain turned a blank document into proof I should quit everything How observing my anxiety about an unanswered text gave me just enough space to not make it worse That time I drove to Main Street without music or podcasts and actually noticed the road (it felt longer than driving across Canada) A short guided practice for trying Observe, Describe, Participate in under two minutes Why the thoughts don't disappear — and why that's okaySign up for the Friendless Substack HERE! Follow Friendless on TikTok and on Instagram Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr

    33 min
  2. WTF is DBT? (Mini-Season Intro)

    3 FEB · VIDEO

    WTF is DBT? (Mini-Season Intro)

    In this very special episode of Friendless, your host James Avramenko finally launches the long-promised DBT mini-season. This introductory episode explores why Dialectical Behavior Therapy isn't just for people with BPD diagnoses—it's practical emotional scaffolding for anyone who's ever sent an unhinged text at 2am or catastrophized themselves out of sleep. James shares his own journey into DBT during one of the lowest points of his life, why he was skeptical at first, and the moment a simple acronym (STOP) prevented him from making things worse. This isn't about fixing yourself or becoming a better person—it's about working with the brain you have when everything feels like it's falling apart. What You'll Learn Why DBT isn't self-help BS: The difference between theories and tools The four DBT modules: Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotional Regulation, and Interpersonal Effectiveness Who DBT is actually for: Spoiler—you don't need a diagnosis to benefit What's coming: A roadmap for the 10-episode mini-season (2 episodes per module + intro/wrap-up) The real goal: Fucking up slightly less often (that's it, that's the bar) Sign up for the Friendless Substack HERE! Follow Friendless on TikTok and on Instagram Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr

    19 min
  3. Sometimes Things Work Out (LIVE at the Book Warehouse with Special Guest Susin Nielsen!)

    27 JAN · VIDEO

    Sometimes Things Work Out (LIVE at the Book Warehouse with Special Guest Susin Nielsen!)

    This week on a very special episode of Friendless,  host James Avramenko welcomes acclaimed author Susin Nielsen for a live recording at Book Warehouse Vancouver. Susin's latest novel "Snap" tells the story of three unlikely friends brought together through an anger management program—and it all started with a real incident at a disastrous school visit 15 years ago. In this wide-ranging conversation, Susin and James explore the power of optimistic storytelling in dark times, the peculiar difficulty of making friends in Vancouver (despite everyone being "so outwardly cheery"), and why setting Canadian stories in "any town USA" drove Susin crazy enough to plant her work firmly in Vancouver's streets and neighbourhoods. They also dive into Susin's journey from craft services on Degrassi Junior High to writing on the show at age 22, creating positive work environments on Family Law, refusing publisher pressure to censor her work, and her recent experiments with meditation and church-going (for the community, not necessarily Jesus). Whether you're interested in the craft of writing, the challenge of building community, or just want to hear two people who love Vancouver bond over its friendship paradoxes, this conversation has something for you. Links & Resources: Susin's Website: susinnielsen.com/ Book Warehouse Vancouver: [link]Sign up for the Friendless Substack HERE! Follow Friendless on TikTok and on Instagram Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr

    54 min
  4. Practicing Resilience and Gratitude (with special guest Dr. Greg Hammer)

    20 JAN · VIDEO

    Practicing Resilience and Gratitude (with special guest Dr. Greg Hammer)

    This week on a very special episode of Friendless, I sit down with Dr. Greg Hammer—pediatric intensive care physician, recently retired Stanford professor, and author of A Mindful Teen—to talk about what we're actually doing to young people in 2025. We unpack the unique pressures facing today's teens: smartphones as double-edged swords, the performative perfection trap of social media, sextortion and AI-generated abuse, fentanyl-laced everything, gun violence as background noise, and the impossible college admissions race. You know, light stuff. But here's the thing—Dr. Hammer isn't here to just list problems. We dig into his GAIN method (Gratitude, Acceptance, Intention, Non-Judgment), a practical framework for building actual resilience without the therapy-speak bullshit. We talk about neuroplasticity, the negativity bias our brains are stuck with from evolutionary baggage, and why telling your kids to be grateful while you complain about traffic doesn't work. We also get real about recognizing depression versus sadness, the telltale signs parents and teachers miss, and why love needs to be a verb, not just a feeling. Fair warning: this episode discusses teen mental health, suicide, and self-harm in depth. In This Episode: Why "kids are resilient" is a cop-out The self-surveillance generation and viral culture paralysis How smartphones and social media rewire developing brains The GAIN method: a 3-minute daily practice for mental resilience Three Good Things: the stupidly simple gratitude practice that actually works Modeling behaviour vs. telling kids what to do Recognizing the signs of clinical depression in teens Why we're all more alike than different (and our dark thoughts aren't unique)Guest Bio:Dr. Greg Hammer is a pediatric intensive care physician, recently retired professor at Stanford University School of Medicine, and author of Gain Without Pain and A Mindful Teen. He's spent his career studying physical and mental wellness, longevity science, and resilience practices—and has raised teenagers while watching an entire generation navigate challenges he never had to face. Resources: A Mindful Teen by Dr. Greg Hammer: Amazon | Barnes & Noble Dr. Hammer's website: greghammer​md.com Instagram: @greghammer​mdMental Health Resources: Canada: Call or text 988 (Suicide Crisis Helpline) USA: Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) Crisis Text Line (both countries): Text HOME to 741741Sign up for the Friendless Substack HERE! Follow Friendless on TikTok and on Instagram Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr

    46 min
  5. Sobriety and the Art of Queer Friendships (with special guest Will Pacheco)

    13 JAN · VIDEO

    Sobriety and the Art of Queer Friendships (with special guest Will Pacheco)

    In this very special episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko delves into the complexities of friendship, sobriety, and mental health with his dear friend William Raphael Pacheco. Join them as they discuss the impact of family names, the challenges of quitting substances, and the journey toward self-acceptance.  They share laughs, deep reflections, and valuable life insights on maintaining friendships and navigating queer spaces while staying sober. Follow Will on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/will.r.pacheco/ Sign up for the Friendless Substack HERE! Follow Friendless on TikTok and on Instagram Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr

    1h 13m
  6. The Art of Writing and Belonging (with special guest Genki Ferguson)

    6 JAN · VIDEO

    The Art of Writing and Belonging (with special guest Genki Ferguson)

    In this very special episode of 'Friendless,' recorded live at the Book Warehouse on Main Street, host welcomes guest Genki Ferguson, an author based in Vancouver. Genki shares insights on his writing career, experiences working at Book Warehouse, and studying at Emily Carr University. He talks about his debut novel 'Satellite Love' and his forthcoming book 'The Love An Abalone Feels For the Sea' set for 2027 release. The discussion dives deep into the timelines of publishing, the process of writing, and the importance of community for writers. Genki and James also touch on the impact of independent bookstores, online communities like Bookstagram and BookTok, and how different storytelling mediums influence their work. The conversation wraps up with reflections on the state of the publishing industry and the significance of organic connections and community in a writer's journey. You can find Genki Ferguson's debut novel Satellite Love at your local bookstore, and follow them on Instagram @genki_ferguson. Sign up for the Friendless Substack HERE! Follow Friendless on TikTok  and on Instagram Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr

    41 min
  7. 2026? I Hardly 2025-er! (Year End Retrospective Special!)

    30/12/2025 · VIDEO

    2026? I Hardly 2025-er! (Year End Retrospective Special!)

    In this very special episode of Friendless, join host James Avramenko in a look back on the year that was 2025. He reflects on the highs and lows of the past year. James opens up about his medical leave, mental health, and the complexities of dealing with burnout. He discusses guest highlights, including interviews with Dean Spade and Dust Kwaine, and shares his thoughts on the current state of friendship in culture. James also provides recommendations for books, movies, and music that defined his year and announces exciting new plans for 2026, including monthly live episodes with local authors. Tune in for an honest and insightful look back at 2025 and a glimpse into what's coming next. Sign up for the Friendless Substack HERE! Follow Friendless on TikTok and on Instagram Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr Books Mentioned: Giovanni’s Room - James Baldwin Monsters: A Fan’s Dilemma - Claire Dederer Penance - Eliza Clark Ten Bridges I’ve Burnt: A Memoir in Verse - Brontez Purnell The Children of Jocasta - Natalie Haynes The Five: The Untold Lives of the Women Killed by Jack the Ripper - Hallie Rubenhold Follow me on StoryGraph: https://app.thestorygraph.com/profile/javramenko Movies Mentioned: Sinners Final Destination: Bloodlines One Battle After Another Eddington 28 Years Later Follow me on Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/anaveragemango/

    46 min
  8. Love At First Sight (with special guest Lee Smith)

    17/09/2025 · VIDEO

    Love At First Sight (with special guest Lee Smith)

    In this very special episode of "Friendless," host James Avramenko sits down with dear friend and special guest Lee Smith for an honest, vulnerable conversation about connection, identity, and the unexpected magic of friendship. Together, they unpack the challenges of forging community in a remote world, the unique energy of in-person gatherings, and the exhilarating (and sometimes scary) experience of bringing all your people together. James and Lee discuss the power of vulnerability when inviting others into your life, what it means to support and witness friends through life transitions, and how personal growth can manifest in surprising ways. From reflections on midlife rediscovery and the shifting meaning of happiness, to playful confessions about Pokemon-themed parties, stickers, and the joys of childhood nostalgia, this episode explores how small gestures and authentic presence can deepen bonds. Listeners will also hear insights on reparenting practices, the importance of building and nurturing friendship "toolkits," and the radical idea of bringing romance and intentionality into platonic relationships. Lee and James share actionable tips on staying connected (including the transformative act of making a friends list!), and discuss how celebrating one another can anchor us through life’s valleys and peaks. If you're searching for inspiration to reconnect with your community, tools for meaningful self-reflection, or simply a joyful reminder of the power of showing up as your truest self, this episode will leave you feeling seen and supported. Call to action: Take a moment this week to write down your friends’ names and reach out with a small note, gift, or message to let them know how much they mean to you! Sign up for the Friendless Substack HERE! Follow Friendless on TikTok and on Instagram Support the show, Buy Me A Coffee!! Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr Connect with your own community and share your "lightning bolt moments" with #FriendlessPod!

    56 min
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About

Are you feeling lonely or struggling to make friends? You're not alone. In 'Friendless,' host James Avramenko explores the ups and downs of friendship, the challenges of making new connections, and the impact of social isolation on our mental health. Each episode, James talks to people from all walks of life who have experienced friendship struggles and share their stories of triumph and perseverance. From overcoming shyness to navigating social anxiety, 'Friendless' offers practical tips and empathetic advice to help you build meaningful connections and find your community. Join James as he explores the complex world of human connection and the power of friendship.

Information

  • Creator
    James Avramenko
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    169
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2022 Friendless
  • Show Website
    Friendless