Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex & Love

Pure Desire Network
  • 0,0 (0)
  • Christendom
  • Wekelijks bijgewerkt

Since 2016, Ashley Jameson and Heather Kolb have supported, educated, and equipped women to experience sexual health, healing from betrayal trauma, and success in relationships. We know what it’s like to be in crisis—searching for answers—and continually hearing the churchy answer. Each week, you’ll hear real talk about sex and relationships from a biblical and clinical perspective.

  1. 1 dag geleden

    108 - The Hidden Aspects of Sexual Addiction

    Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: After discovering my husband’s long-hidden porn addiction and affair, my adult children and I are struggling to reconcile his deep involvement in faith and ministry with the secret double life he lived for decades. I don’t know how to explain the disconnect between genuine devotion and destructive behavior. Was his faith real, or was it all a mask? After years of recovery work, I’m concerned my husband’s addiction may have shifted from pornography to an unhealthy fixation on sex and physical access to me. His constant touching and spiritual justifications leave me feeling objectified instead of safe or loved. How do I set healthy boundaries around intimacy without damaging connection or recovery progress? After 27 years of marriage and years of counseling and recovery work, my husband recently admitted he follows his own definition of sobriety, leaving me feeling deceived and deeply used. As we prepare for full disclosure and a polygraph, I feel emotionally exhausted and ready to leave, yet conflicted by my faith and church beliefs. Am I wrong for wanting divorce after so many broken promises and shifting truths? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Resources: Adult Children of Sex Addicts Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos   GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    20 min.

  2. 30 jun

    107 - Betrayal, Heartbreak, and Addiction Patterns

    Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: After five years of betrayal and partial recovery efforts, I’m seeing new honesty and engagement from my husband, but repeated slip-ups leave me unsure what’s truly changing. I’m caring for myself well, yet struggling to discern whether this reflects early sobriety with setbacks or simply a different addiction pattern. How do I know the difference? Three and a half years into recovery, another disclosure of relapses has left me devastated and questioning whether I’ll ever feel deep love for my husband again. Even before this, my feelings already felt distant and dulled compared to before the betrayal. Can love truly return after repeated heartbreak, or does it change permanently? A year into recovery after my husband confessed long-term struggles with pornography and lust, I can see real transformation in him, yet I still feel deeply wounded by the reality that lust may always be something he battles. Even his honesty and progress don’t remove the pain this creates in me. How do I live with the ongoing reality of that struggle without feeling devastated by it? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Resources: Lapse Vs Relapse   Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos   GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    17 min.

  3. 23 jun

    106 - Understanding My Sexual Struggles

    Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: After 16 years of recovery from sex addiction, I’m realizing how deeply my relationship with my mother still shapes my emotional triggers around criticism, guilt, and performance. While our relationship has improved and I truly believe I’ve forgiven her, I still find myself reacting, trying to change or educate her, and questioning whether lingering pain means forgiveness is incomplete. Can healing from a mother’s wounds continue even after genuine forgiveness has taken place? I struggle with unwanted sexual behaviors and confusion around same-sex attraction. I often feel shame and uncertainty about what my experiences mean, especially when I’m trying to live with integrity. How do I understand my patterns, reduce compulsive behavior, and begin healing without self-condemnation? After my divorce, I’ve found myself sexually acting out in ways that leave me feeling empty and ashamed. I want to understand why this is happening and how to stop repeating it. How do I begin real healing and rebuild self-control after divorce-related pain and loneliness? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Resources: Mother Hunger Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos   GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    21 min.

  4. 16 jun

    105 - Dying Marriage, Secondary Betrayal, and Triggers

    Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I resonated with your thoughts on marriage stagnation from episode #95. My husband stopped relapsing but isn’t actively pursuing healing, and I feel stuck, discouraged, and worn down. After years of little growth, I’m unsure what I believe about biblical grounds for divorce. In this kind of gray space, where change feels stalled, would divorce be biblically justified? When my church, once a safe home, responded to my betrayal trauma by focusing on my reactions instead of my spouse’s accountability, it felt like a second betrayal. I’m struggling to know what’s healthy moving forward. When is it time to leave, and how do I grieve losing my spiritual community while still healing from betrayal? Can you talk about wet dreams? My husband and I are currently sexually abstinent with each other in our marriage. He reported a wet dream to me and it was triggering. To be honest, I know wet dreams are normal but part of me wonders if he’s acting out as a part of it. I don’t like how this situation makes me feel but I also don’t know what reasonable responses are. If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Resources: The Emotionally Destructive MarriageGood Boundaries & GoodbyesThe Life Saving Divorce Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos   GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    22 min.

  5. 9 jun

    104 - Sex, Safety, and the Aftermath

    Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: My husband and I are 2½ years into recovery, and our marriage is stronger than ever. As I enter my third trimester, we want to plan for sex and intimacy postpartum, especially after a difficult recovery with our first child. How can we approach this season in a healthy, connected way that supports both healing and intimacy? I’m experiencing betrayal trauma in my marriage, and I’m trying to rebuild safety and trust after what’s happened. My spouse seems to believe that sex will bring us closer and help heal the relationship, but it actually feels triggering and disconnecting for me right now. Why is it so hard for them to understand that sex alone won’t repair betrayal or create emotional safety? After divorcing my spouse due to addiction, he still continues to blame me for what happened and the breakdown of our relationship. I’m trying to heal and move forward, but the ongoing blame feels confusing and painful. How do you respond when someone keeps assigning you responsibility even after the relationship has ended? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Resources: The Betrayal Bind Cliff & Joyce's Books The Life Saving Divorce Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos   GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    15 min.

  6. 2 jun

    103 - Distinguishing the Difference Between Worth, Attention, & Identity

    Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I’m a woman in ministry and I’ve noticed a pattern where I seek validation through flirting and attention from men, even when I don’t intend harm. I want to break this cycle and grow in healthier boundaries and identity. What kind of help, support, or practices would actually help me change these patterns in a lasting way? I desire deep connection, but I also fear abandonment, which affects how I show up in relationships. How do fear of abandonment and attachment wounds shape relational behavior, and how can women begin to heal this? I sometimes feel shame around my relational or sexual patterns and don’t know how to talk about it without feeling “broken.” How can women bring these struggles into the light in a way that leads to healing instead of shame? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Resources: The Fantasy Fallacy Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos   GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    19 min.

  7. 26 mei

    102 - What To Do When Recovery Stalls Out

    Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: My husband and I have been together since childhood, married for 7 years, and six months ago I discovered his long-term porn addiction. It feels like a deep betrayal, and I’m struggling to heal and trust again. Even though he’s in recovery and doing the right things, I still feel stuck. How do I move forward when our story feels broken? My husband’s mindset seems to be keeping him from engaging in recovery. He often becomes entitled and shifts blame onto me, and he sees boundaries as rejection. I know you’ve addressed similar dynamics before, but how can a spouse respond when these patterns are blocking accountability and making real healing difficult? From an addict spouse: I’ve struggled with porn throughout my 14 year marriage and am now in recovery. As my wife and I enter formal disclosure, I’ll hear the impact of my betrayal, and I want to respond well without becoming defensive. How can I stay present, process her pain, and grow through this disclosure process in a way that supports her healing? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos   GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    18 min.

  8. 19 mei

    101 - Dealing With Rage as a Betrayal Trauma Response

    Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - I’m walking through betrayal after discovering my boyfriend’s porn use and past behaviors, and what’s been most overwhelming isn’t just the pain, it’s the rage. At times, I feel completely overtaken by anger, even acting in ways that scare me and leave me feeling ashamed. It feels deeper than anger, like a full-body trauma response. Is this kind of rage normal in betrayal trauma, and what’s actually happening inside me? - As I navigate betrayal trauma, one of the hardest parts is how my partner responds. When I express pain or anger, he dismisses it or calls me “crazy,” which only intensifies everything I’m feeling. It makes me feel unseen and alone in the trauma. How can partners better understand and respond to betrayal trauma, especially intense emotions like rage, in a way that brings safety instead of more harm? - I’ve been learning that betrayal trauma affects the brain and body in real ways, but it doesn’t seem like this is widely understood, especially by those who caused the hurt. It feels like there’s a gap in recovery when it comes to helping men understand their partner’s trauma responses. How can we better educate betrayers on what’s happening neurologically and emotionally so they can respond with empathy and support healing? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!   Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos   GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    19 min.
Bekijk alles (114)

Trailer

Info

Since 2016, Ashley Jameson and Heather Kolb have supported, educated, and equipped women to experience sexual health, healing from betrayal trauma, and success in relationships. We know what it’s like to be in crisis—searching for answers—and continually hearing the churchy answer. Each week, you’ll hear real talk about sex and relationships from a biblical and clinical perspective.

Informatie

Meer van Pure Desire Network

Suggesties voor jou