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Malina + Alyssa

Hallootje, we're Malina and Alyssa aka your new expat besties! We are two California girlies embarking on life in the Netherlands and bringing you along for the ride. We share hot takes, get personal, and giggle a little way too much. Strap in and enjoy the view. Veel liefs aka much love xx

  1. 2 dgn geleden

    Why Love Isn't Enough

    Alyssa and Malina just can’t get enough of love. Still high on Love Is Blind, we talk about why love isn’t just a feeling. It’s also logistics, money, compromise, and a commitment to each other and growth. In this episode, we talk about what it really takes to make a relationship work beyond the butterflies. We also tackle the stuff that nobody likes to talk about in long-term partnerships: money, the domestic labor split, financial independence. Alyssa shares how her upbringing and readings shaped her understanding of the power dynamics — and inequality — within marriages. Malina gets honest about what her marriage has weathered, from the toll of moving abroad and building a life far from everything familiar to questioning compatibility after a decade together. This one’s warm, honest, and pretty vulnerable. We’re also excited to announce our sponsor, Solvve.nl, your one-stop shop to managing your homeowner’s association. Share, follow, rate, and review on your fave podcasting app. Suggestions, questions, interested in collabing? Send them over to likezegmaar@gmail.com! Liefs, your expat besties xx - (0:00) Intro (03:07) Our Meet Cutes *Blush* (18:23) Love Languages (Pets Included) (24:10) Love, Money & Housework (24:19) [AD] Solvve.nl (33:22) The Hard Parts Nobody Posts About (39:30) Happily Ever After…? (43:35) Dutch of the Day: Aantrekking

  2. 23 okt

    Love Is Blind NL #4: Reunion Rundown

    Double date time! Malina and Alyssa are joined by two very special guests — respective boos, Gerard and Max — for a recap of the Love Is Blind Netherlands reunion. This is the final episode of our mini-series and, with a language/culture translator on-hand and thorough Internet sleuthing, we’re leaving no stone unturned. If the reunion is a pot, we are taking turns stirring it. Of course, we have opinions about Marc’s emotional outbursts and cosmetic work, Yasmine’s villain edit, Jaslynn’s debate tactics, and the biggest plot twist that is her and Roel being engaged. Gerard thinks Miguel gets a free pass on looks alone, upon which Max wastes no time grilling us about our opinions on Miggy G (whose IG we may have perused for research purposes).  We dissect Jurriaan’s PR apology with semantic precision and liken it to a Dutch politician apologizing for slavery. Speaking of, can we distill the married couple's breakup to: Princess wanted a Knight, but got a Farmer Boy instead? We also spiral into conspiracy theory territory and speculate whose parents were paid actors, why did Gino’s personality evaporate, and who was in cahoots to make it to the altar.  We’re also excited to announce our sponsor, Solvve.nl, your one-stop shop to managing your homeowner’s association. Share, follow, rate, and review on your fave podcasting app. Suggestions, questions, interested in collabing? Send them over to likezegmaar@gmail.com! Liefs, your expat besties xx - (0:00) Intro (04:25) Oyster Gate (13:25) Marc Flies Turkish Hairlines (19:46) Gino’s Long Lost Personality (24:43) Don’t Talk About the Bath! (27:13) The Farm Boy & the Princess (35:53) [AD] Solvve.nl (42:55) Hypothetically Speaking... (50:47) Here for the Conspiracy Theories (47:05) Dutch of the Day: Bemoeien

  3. 19 okt

    Love Is Blind NL #3: Karma's a B*tch

    Alyssa and Malina yap about everything that went down on Love Is Blind Netherlands (episodes 7–9).
 Eerlijk gezegd, things are much chiller than hoped: Roel’s pretty toned-down reaction to Yasguel’s engagement, the tame bachelor(ette) parties, the one-dress-only wedding dress shopping. But don’t worry, we’re still very much gawking when Jas’s family roast her to a crisp and Marcnou’s f-bomb-filled fight. And in true LIB fashion, we end up at the altar with Miguel being a l*l (aka penis) and Jurrika saying “I do” while doing math. Oh boyyyyyy, do we have reactions to share.
 We also tackle the big questions: What truly makes a marriage work? When do we start seeing through the reality-TV gimmick? And how could we envision this franchise fitting into Dutch society and culture? We’re also excited to announce our sponsor, Solvve.nl, your one-stop shop to managing your homeowner’s association (VvE). Share, follow, rate, and review on your fave podcasting app. Suggestions, questions, interested in collabing? Send them over to likezegmaar@gmail.com! Liefs, your expat besties xx - (0:00) Intro (01:10) Our Character Analysis (06:58) Family Ties and Not-So-Friendly Fires (16:26) Karma’s a B*tch (19:56) Trapped in Horny Jail (26:52) [AD] Solvve.nl (27:52) Drum Roll for F*ckboy of the Year (39:06) Get Outta the Randstad (44:04) Reunion Predictions (47:05) Dutch of the Day: Gunnen

  4. 14 okt

    Love Is Blind NL #2: Crybabies & Gaslighters

    Alyssa and Malina are on a cross-cultural mission: breaking down Love Is Blind, the most popular reality show in the Netherlands right now. In episodes 4 through 6, the couples move from the pods to Zanzibar to the Netherlands. And we take you along for a ride full of too much tongue, gaslighting, the meaning of “gladjanus,” and what it sounds like to talk with a mouth full of warm potatoes. Malina shares who she’s picked up on her gaydar, and they both wonder whether the pods were actually an escape room all along. Here’s a roundup of the couples and our thoughts and predictions: Jurriaan and Mika (the strongest couple so far, despite the initial shitstorm) Gino and Mirella (besides the Crocs fitting, they are not a fit) Ludo and Jaslynn (flirty, but not on the same page about Big Life Things) Marc-Vincent and Meinou (Marc-Vinny can be socially awk, but somehow these love birds work?) Roel and Yasmin (yikes, it ends, but the internet has much love for Roel and his monitor lizard) Miguel and Yasmin (oh yes, she moves on quick) We’re also excited to announce our sponsor, ⁠Solvve.nl⁠, your one-stop shop to manage your homeowner’s association. Share, follow, rate, and review on your fave podcasting app. Suggestions, questions, interested in collabing? Send them over to likezegmaar@gmail.com! Liefs, your expat besties xx - (0:00) Intro (02:29) The PDA Spectrum (08:13) Fight Racism Through Reality Shows (13:00) [AD] ⁠Solvve.nl⁠ (14:00) Cocktail Party Dramz (22:28) Who’s Gaslighting Who? (33:35) Back to the Lowlands (42:28) Conversation Skills 201 (47:56) The Most Unnecessary Proposal Ever (52:04) Dutch of the Day: Lekker Ding

  5. 7 okt

    Love Is Blind NL #1: Fresh Hot Takes

    Love Is Blind Nederland has arrived, and we have thoughts. As longtime fans of the franchise, we’re diving into episodes 1–3 with hot takes, questionable judgments, and an urgent need to discuss what exactly is going on here. There are singles to profile, Dutch cultural codes to decode, and red flags to catalog. Malina makes it very clear that she is not Team Jurriaan (and, frankly, has receipts). Alyssa helps break down the kakker identity for our non-Dutchie listeners. And we investigate whether pets can really be dealbreakers, what wealth signaling looks like in the pods, and most importantly, who is serving gay villain. Plus: we take a step back to reflect on what actually makes a relationship work. Spoiler: it’s not eating oysters together or cloning yourself. We’re also excited to announce our sponsor, Solvve.nl, your one-stop shop to manage your homeowner’s association. Share, follow, rate, and review on your fave podcasting app. Suggestions, questions, interested in collabing? Send them over to likezegmaar@gmail.com! Liefs, your expat besties xx - (0:00) Intro (3:33) Love is Not Color Blind (13:30) Kakker Culture (21:35) The Love Rectangle (34:30) Ibiza, Ski Trips, Porsche, Zuidas (41:16) Shared Hobbies Don’t Make a Relationship (48:15) Dutch of the Day: Spannend

  6. 29 sep

    We Stand Corrected

    Checking themselves before they wreck themselves! These two fact checkers dive into the archives of past episodes to see what they’ve got wrong and close the loop on their own speculations. If you’re curious to know what Calvinism really is, how the Dutchies do corporate lingo, what's up with the British obsession over tanning, and how to rage bait on Reddit—it’s all here. What more could you expect from a podcast that is ⅓ firsthand experience, ⅓ hearsay, and ⅓ aspirationally educational?  We’re also excited to announce our sponsor, Solvve.nl, your one-stop shop to managing your homeowner’s association. Share, follow, rate, and review on your fave podcasting app. Suggestions, questions, interested in collabing? Send them over to likezegmaar@gmail.com! Liefs, your expat besties xx - (0:00) Money Talks… Or Does It? (03:48) The Schiphol Scandal (06:25) [AD] Solvve.nl (07:23) Excuse Me, I Need to Pee a Little on This (16:10) See You Later, Tater Tots (19:47) They’re Called the Shrimp (23:40) Alyssa Rage Baits Reddit (26:04) Waging the Duolingo War (31:37) Sneak Peek (32:34) Dutch of the Day: Nieuwsgierig

  7. 26 sep

    Friends From Scratch

    Remember the days of xoxo friends forever? Well—gulp—we’re all adults now. Alyssa and Malina talk about the very relatable, sometimes nerve-wracking, and occasionally awkward experience of making friends in a new place. They explore how a variety of friends can exist in and enrich your world. Think: the errand buddy, the homie you have deep talks with, the fellow word nerd you do crosswords with, the lil sis who takes off her socks as she watches reality TV with you on the couch. All acceptable forms of friendship. They don’t shy away from the uncomfy side of friendships, whether it’s meeting rude @$$ people, parting ways with friends, or feeling guilty about not keeping up with loved ones back home. But it’s not all just touchy-feely emotions! They decide to take a data-driven approach to their own friendship. Listen to the very end because these two kooks come up with might be the most unhinged LZM hangout to date.   Share with a new friend or that next-door neighbor who just moved in. Follow, rate, and review on your fave podcasting app. Suggestions, questions, interested in collabing? Send them over to likezegmaar@gmail.com! Liefs, your expat besties xx - (0:00) Intro (05:06) Every Flavor of Friend (10:09) Long Distance Friendshipping (18:10) Meet and Greet Horror Stories (27:26) Not For Coffee Catchups (32:16) The Part That Nobody Talks About (39:33) Our Wild But Still Chill Hangout Idea (47:16) Dutch of the Day: Geborgenheid

  8. 19 sep

    Summer Diaries #3

    We bid farewell to summer in this final episode of our Summer Diaries series! So, how have these two girlies been soaking up the sun? Glowy goddess Alyssa shares what she’s been up to after her travels, plus all of her cultural observations along the way. Food that’s just mid? Check. Sunburnt Brits? Check. Loud but extremely friendly Americans? Check. Meanwhile, birthday kween Malina has been living her best reckless life: binge-watching a reality show while biking and being a noncommittal book club member. When these two are not embroiled in drama, both real-life and on the set, they share their excitement for the upcoming fall season. A time for pumpkin spice everything, feeling intellectual and literary, and the most LA way to trick-or-treat. Share with a friend. Follow, rate, and review on your fave podcasting app. Suggestions, questions, interested in collabing? Send them over to likezegmaar@gmail.com! Liefs, your expat besties xx - (0:00) Intro (0:50) OG New Zealand (8:38) Being a Menace to Society (13:31) A Field Guide to Tourist Types (20:21) Food for Thought (22:37) POV: Your Bday Involves Wild Boars (28:48) Keep Your Enemies Close (Like, Next Door) (36:46) Bring on the Drama (38:40) Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice (46:13) Dutch of the Day: Hèhè

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Hallootje, we're Malina and Alyssa aka your new expat besties! We are two California girlies embarking on life in the Netherlands and bringing you along for the ride. We share hot takes, get personal, and giggle a little way too much. Strap in and enjoy the view. Veel liefs aka much love xx

Informatie

  • Maker
    Malina + Alyssa
  • Jaren actief
    2026
  • Afleveringen
    15
  • Beoordeling
    Expliciet
  • Copyright
    © Malina + Alyssa
  • Website van aflevering
    Like, Zeg Maar

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