Love & Cherish Podcast with Laura How

Laura How | Love & Cherish Podcast
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Hosted by therapist and relationship coach Laura How, the Love & Cherish Podcast features thoughtful interviews with interesting people about relationships, sex, culture, and mental health.

  1. Stop Blaming Your Partner

    Aflevering 1

    Stop Blaming Your Partner

    In my work with couples, it is common to see each person attributing the cause of their unhappiness to their partner. One partner will insist they would be happy if only the other would just sort themselves out and become a better person. Part of my work involves helping the couple to consider what they each might be bringing to the relationship that is causing harm. He might need to honestly acknowledge his tendency to avoid conflict and withdraw when things get uncomfortable. He might benefit from considering that this could be because he was brought up by a family that never talked about feelings. She might need to learn not to criticise or sulk when she feels uncared for and to recognise that some of these feelings might have been caused by her relationship with her father who was often unavailable. Ultimately, we need to develop positive feelings towards our partners, which is difficult if our complaints about them are not balanced by some real awareness of our own shortcomings.

    7 min.

  2. Aflevering 1

    Making Intimacy Sacred | Zac Fine & Marijke Roberts

    I'm joined by two therapists from my practice, Zac Fine and Marijke Roberts, for the second episode of our monthly series exploring how to restore sacred connection in long-term relationships.👉 Book online sessions with Zac or Marijke: https://laurahow.com/online-therapists/ When intimacy becomes mechanical or disappears entirely, couples lose more than just sex, they lose sacred space together. We discuss how to move beyond "getting the deed done" and rediscover intimacy as a profound, connected experience that honours both partners. 👉 Book a session with Zac: https://laurahow.com/therapists-zac-fine/ 👉 Book a session with Marijke: https://laurahow.com/therapists-marijke-roberts/ In this episode, we discuss: ✔️ Why sacred intimacy matters more than mechanical sex ✔️ Creating liminal space—ritual moments outside everyday life ✔️ Moving from "I want sex" to "I want connection with you" ✔️ Simple practices: eye contact, attuned breathing, mindful touch ✔️ The "Kings and Queens" exercise for asking and receiving ✔️ How porn culture has replaced sacred sexuality with performance ✔️ Responsive desire and why women often need different pathways to arousal ✔️ Attachment wounds that block intimacy and how to heal them ✔️ Turning conflict into curiosity when one partner withdraws ✔️ Why recovery is slow, human-paced work, not a quick fix We'll be recording this podcast monthly, and we'd love to hear from you. 👉 Leave your questions in the comments for the next episode. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 🔔 Subscribe for monthly conversations about: Sacred intimacy, sexless marriages, creating connection, responsive desire, attachment healing, and rediscovering meaningful sex in long-term relationships. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 🧠 Need support? Work with me or one of the therapists on my team: https://laurahow.com/online-therapists/ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 💎 More ways to connect and grow: 💠 Therapists — Work with me: https://laurahow.com/work-for-me/ 💠 Join my newsletter: https://laurahow.com/newsletter-signup/ 💠 Support my work: https://laurahow.com/support/ 📲 Follow me: Instagram → / laurahow Facebook → / laurahowcounsellor Twitter (X) → / laurahow ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⌚️ Timestamps: 0:00 - Introduction: Welcome to Love and Cherish Podcast 0:23 - Why Men Want Enthusiastic Partners: The Deep Need to Feel Wanted 1:57 - Creating Sacred Spaces for Intimacy: Moving Beyond Mechanical Sex 6:22 - Practical Connection Exercises: Eye Contact, Breathing, and Touch 10:48 - Learning to Listen to Your Body Instead of External Advice 13:56 - Kings and Queens Exercise: Taking Turns Asking for What You Want 16:32 - Getting Curious About Resistance: Why Intimacy Feels Hard 19:29 - Personal Story: Understanding Shame and Childhood Wounds in Relationships 24:26 - Attachment Theory and Healing: Moving Toward Secure Relationships 26:05 - Closing Thoughts: Embracing the Slow Process of Growth ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 📌 Hashtags: #SacredIntimacy #SexlessMarriage #IntimacyInMarriage #MakingLove #ResponsiveDesire #LiminalSpace #AttachmentHealing #MarriageTherapy #LoveAndCherishPodcast #ConnectionOverSex #MindfulIntimacy

    27 min.

  3. Aflevering 1

    The Way Feminism Failed Women (And Men) | Carrie Gress

    “Feminism has always been a force for good and equality.” Is that really the full story? In this conversation with philosopher and author Carrie Gress, we explore how feminist ideas have shaped modern relationships, and why many men and women are now questioning the narrative they were raised to believe. 👉 Book an online session: https://laurahow.com/online-therapists/ Carrie Gress, Catholic philosopher, author of The End of Woman and co-creator of Theology of Home, joins me for a direct and thoughtful discussion about the deeper impact of feminist ideology on marriage, family life, and how men and women now relate to each other. We talk about the growing divide between the sexes, the loss of trust, and the quiet confusion many people feel but struggle to name. From rising mental health concerns to the breakdown of shared meaning in relationships, this conversation looks at what’s changed, and what it’s costing us. We also explore ideas that are rarely spoken about openly, including the concept of “toxic femininity,” the devaluing of motherhood, and why conversations about men’s needs are often met with resistance. This is not about blaming one side. It’s about understanding what has gone wrong, and what needs to be rebuilt. In this episode: ✔️ Why many people are starting to question feminism’s impact on relationships ✔️ The growing mistrust between men and women ✔️ Mental health struggles in both sexes, and what’s driving them ✔️ Why “toxic femininity” is rarely discussed ✔️ The devaluing of motherhood and its wider consequences ✔️ Why talking about men’s needs creates backlash ✔️ The impact on children and future family life ✔️ How modern culture shapes how we see each other ✔️ Why restoring trust between men and women matters ✔️ What a more grounded, family-centred life could look like 👉 Find Carrie Gress: • Website: https://www.carriegress.com/ • Theology of Home: https://theologyofhome.com/ • Bio: https://www.carriegress.com/about 💬 Let me know in the comments: Do you think feminism has helped or harmed modern relationships? What are you seeing in your own life? ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 🔔 Subscribe for conversations that challenge mainstream narratives about marriage, men, women, and what really creates lasting connection: 👉 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCE_Fs1wPifrghIGdSzsbrKg?sub_confirmation=1 ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 🧠 Need support? Work with me or a therapist on my team: https://laurahow.com/online-therapists/ One-Day Couples Intensive (crisis support): https://laurahow.com/1-day-couples-intensive/ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 💎 More ways to connect & grow Therapists, work with me → https://laurahow.com/work-for-me/ Join my newsletter → https://laurahow.com/newsletter-signup/ Support my work → https://laurahow.com/support/ Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/laurahow/ Facebook → https://www.facebook.com/laurahowcounsellor X (Twitter) → https://twitter.com/laurahow ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⌚ Timestamps [Add after editing] ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 📌 Hashtags #Feminism #MarriageAdvice #MensIssues #CouplesTherapy #RelationshipAdvice #CarrieGress #MarriageCounselling #IntimacyInMarriage #LauraHow #TheologyOfHome #

    25 min.
  4. Positive Regard in Relationships | Relationship Counselling

    Aflevering 2

    Positive Regard in Relationships | Relationship Counselling

    It seems to me; most people nowadays think that happy couples are somehow lucky. That they perhaps managed to find ‘the one’ and that the seemingly blissful union they share is a result of good fortune. Most people have it wrong. It is truer to say that often, those of us who would describe ourselves as fulfilled and secure in our unions, have in fact worked hard at creating such harmony and strength as a couple over time. One of the most beautiful and essential elements to this focussed dedication, is the creation of a mainly positive atmosphere or landscape, which flows from both parties towards the other and for their relationship. For their past, for their present, and for their future. They have a co-created love affair with their love affair! They think and say kind and complimentary things about each other. Their memories are fond despite the challenges they have faced, and they are equally hopeful about their shared life ahead. This kind of couple touch us all. In old age, they are the couples with a bright glint in their eyes, and beautiful stories to tell. Their physical youth may have faded but their love for one another remains clear and strong. A beacon of grace, dignity, wisdom, and sanity.

    5 min.

  5. Aflevering 3

    Doing 'The Work' | Mental Health & Wellness

    What is your relationship with yourself like? I ask many clients this question as it often occurs to me early on in our working relationship that people don’t appear to know themselves very well at all. The knowing of oneself is an essential aspect of the feeling of wholeness and a necessary component of authenticity. These feelings are worth striving for. They are a worthwhile goal and something meaningful to aim at. They are something of an ideal, as they protect us against such feelings as anxiety, depression, and hopelessness. Do the work. If you are young, middle aged or old. It is never too soon, and it is never too late.

    9 min.

  6. Aflevering 4

    How to Build Psychological Resilience

    When it comes to building strength, a major turning point occurred for me when I understood in no uncertain terms, that I was responsible for the quality and outcome of my life no matter what I had encountered as a child. Part of this involved being able to clearly, and honestly identify personal weaknesses, so that I could work out how to overcome them and grow in strength, and as a person.

    7 min.

  7. Aflevering 5

    Self Regulation in Relationships

    Self-regulation is a facet of emotional intelligence. It is the ability to engage control over our own thoughts, emotions, and impulses. It is at the heart of healthy and mature relationships.  If our relationships are to survive, we need to develop a capacity to pause when we are faced with a difficult thought or feeling. Take some time to consider it before we act, so that we can decide what might be the best way forward. 1. Tune in to the moment. Pay attention to what is going on inside you. Are you thinking negative thoughts? Is there tension in your body? Notice such things without judgement. Practice mindful breathing as this will help you gain some space around the thoughts or feelings. 2. Practice cognitive reframing. This involves changing thought patterns which threaten to create bad feelings towards a more positive emotional outcome. 3. Start to increase your awareness and understanding that in every moment you have a choice in how you think, feel and therefore behave. It might feel as though this is not true, but it is. The more we show up and take responsibility for what we are bringing to the moment, the more empowered we are to act in healthy ways.

    5 min.

  8. Aflevering 6

    How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship | 5 Habits of Happy Couples

    Relationships do not maintain themselves. Day-to-day work in committed relationships is vital for their survival. I am convinced it is this consistent effort that ensures couples stand a chance of creating a relationship that is more healthy, more stable, more enjoyable, and more satisfying. It is this steady care and attention, that serves to protect relationships from running into serious and potentially insurmountable trouble later on. In fact, it is this commitment to effort that is the very nature of real and enduring love. Today, I discuss 5 Habits that will help make your relationship last. #relationships #sex #therapy

    8 min.
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Hosted by therapist and relationship coach Laura How, the Love & Cherish Podcast features thoughtful interviews with interesting people about relationships, sex, culture, and mental health.

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    Laura How | Love & Cherish Podcast
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    Love & Cherish Podcast with Laura How

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