In this episode of The Unshakeable Talks, Katy sits down with Rebecca Cracknell, impact and identity coach for ambitious women, to explore how the stories we were handed in childhood, in the classroom, and in traditional life structures quietly shape every decision we make in business. They get into the ‘good girl’ conditioning that keeps women ticking boxes rather than choosing, why so many women are completely disconnected from desire, and what it actually looks like to unlearn the patterns that feel fixed but aren't. Key Takeaways: The good girl in you is ticking boxes she never actually chose. Rebecca grew up in a family of teachers, walked out of university and straight into a classroom, and didn't question it. It wasn't that she didn't want those things (the career, the family, the mortgage) , it's that she'd never actively chosen them. That difference between having something and choosing it is where the unlearning starts. Women are taught it's shameful to want things, and that disconnection from desire is where you get stuck. Before you can change anything, you have to know what you actually want. Rebecca describes so many women as completely disconnected from desire, because they've been told wanting things is shallow, superficial, or too much. The first step to unlearning is asking ‘what do I actually want it to look like?’. The story keeping you stuck is giving you something. Figure out what. Rebecca asks a question most people skip when they're trying to unlearn old patterns: what does this story actually give me? More often than not, the answer is comfort and certainty - even the certainty of being someone who ‘can't speak in front of crowds’ is preferable to the discomfort of not knowing who you are without that story. Burning it all down is the easy option. The harder work is the smaller inner shifts. Rebecca caught herself fantasising about leaving her husband, abandoning her kids, moving to Barcelona - anything to make the business easier. She realised that impulse was the same one that had her deleting entire offers instead of tightening the boundaries around them. Your growth is a spiral, not a circle, and the wobble never goes away, it just shrinks. Rebecca describes personal development as a spiral: you come back to the same stories and the same challenges at different levels. The biggest thing her business has given her isn't immunity to the wobble, it's shortening the gap between the wobble and the recovery. If you enjoyed this episode, you can connect with Rebecca on Instagram @rebeccalcracknell and grab her Expansion Roadmap, Activation Audio and 30 Day Accelerator here. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Unshakeable Talks! If this episode helped you, make sure you hit subscribe so you never miss an episode, and leave a review to share your thoughts - I love hearing from you. Follow me on Instagram @i.am.katy.schweiger and @unshakeabletalks for updates, behind-the-scenes moments, and to connect with our unshakeable community. Join my inner circle weekly newsletter here to get actionable takeaways, key lessons from each episode, and exclusive additional resources.
