"The younger we are when things happen to us and the more serious they are, the stronger the feelings are and the more often those feelings show up.” Those are the words of therapist and author Kimberly Miller, one of the kindest and most genuine people I have ever met. Kim’s work has profoundly shaped not only this podcast, but also my own sobriety journey and ministry. Her book Boundaries for Your Soul—which she co-authored with Dr. Alison Cook (who I've also interviewed)—is one of the most important books I’ve ever read. It shaped the way I think about addiction, healing, sanctification, and the hidden parts of ourselves we often spend years trying to avoid—and gave me words to describe it. There are concepts and phrases in this episode that have become foundational to the work I now do in recovery ministry and discipleship. In this deeply thoughtful and vulnerable conversation, Kim talks about Internal Family Systems (IFS), parts work, trauma, addiction, sanctification, and what it means to invite Jesus into the hidden places of our souls. We explore why so many Christians struggle to understand their own reactions, compulsions, anxieties, and addictions—and why healing requires more than behavior modification. Kim explains how wounded “parts” of ourselves can become stuck in time, carrying shame, fear, loneliness, and pain from earlier experiences. She also unpacks the difference between “manager” parts, “firefighter” parts, and “exiles,” and why curiosity—not shame—is often the first step toward real transformation. But one of the most unexpectedly powerful moments in the episode comes when Kim briefly shares about a season during COVID when she began noticing some uncomfortable patterns in her own life related to alcohol, stress, and coping. The honesty in that moment is striking—not because of scandal or sensationalism, but because it quietly reminds us that no one is immune from developing unhealthy ways of managing pain, exhaustion, loneliness, or emotional discomfort. Even therapists. Even ministry leaders. Even deeply mature Christians. Finally, we wrestle with a profound theological question: If we truly heal, why can’t some of us return to drinking casually? Is that evidence we haven’t done enough work? Or is it simply part of living in a fallen world with particular weaknesses and predispositions? Kim’s answer is nuanced, compassionate, and deeply grounded in both psychology and Christian faith. This episode is about opening the locked rooms of our hearts and allowing Jesus into the places we’ve spent years trying to avoid. Get Boundaries for Your SoulVisit Kim's websiteFollow Kim on Instagram: @kimberlyjunemillerlmftListen to my interview with her co-author, Dr. Alison CookGet Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help: veritasrecovery.orgFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic We explore: — Why "parts work" and Internal Family Systems is so important in recovery conversations — How wounded parts of ourselves can become “stuck in time” carrying shame, fear, loneliness, and pain from earlier experiences — The difference between “manager,” “firefighter,” and “exile” parts of the soul — Why curiosity and compassion are more transformative than shame and self-condemnation — What it means to invite Jesus into the hidden and wounded places within us — Why many Christians still have parts of themselves that have never fully encountered the healing presence of Christ — How addiction and compulsive behaviors are often connected to escapism and emotional avoidance — Kimberly’s surprisingly honest reflections about stress, coping, and recognizing unhealthy drinking patterns in her own life during COVID — The relationship between childhood wounds, emotional triggers, and adult behaviors — Why sobriety alone is not the same thing as healing or sanctification — How Christian community, prayer, and self-awareness can become tools for deeper healing — Whether some struggles and predispositions are simply part of living in a fallen world until final restoration Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
