109 episodes

Every relationship has its problems. But, too often, those problems become destructive and even dangerous. This happens in Christian marriages, too. And the church, unfortunately, hasn’t done a great job of dealing with it.
Relationship Truth: Unfiltered is a place for people of faith to find real answers when it comes to destructive relationships.

Relationship Truth: Unfiltered Leslie Vernick

    • Society & Culture

Every relationship has its problems. But, too often, those problems become destructive and even dangerous. This happens in Christian marriages, too. And the church, unfortunately, hasn’t done a great job of dealing with it.
Relationship Truth: Unfiltered is a place for people of faith to find real answers when it comes to destructive relationships.

    Faith and Legal Battles: Insights from Molly Catherine Goodson JD

    Faith and Legal Battles: Insights from Molly Catherine Goodson JD

    RESOURCES:Quick Start Guide - www.leslievernick.com/startDomestic Violence Hotline:1.800.799.SAFE (7233)
    In this episode of Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, Leslie sits down with Assistant District Attorney and Adjunct Professor, Molly Catherine Goodson to explore the intersection of faith, justice, and abuse. Molly Catherine shares personal journey and professional insights, discussing how her faith sustains her in this high-stakes role. She provides practical advice for victims of abuse, highlights the church's role in supporting and protecting them, and emphasizes the importance of empowering women within the church community.  Note: Molly Catherine is not representing the state of North Carolina in this episode.

    Balancing a High-Stress Job and Personal Faith: Molly Catherine discusses how her faith helps her manage the stress and high stakes of her career, sharing the importance of worship music and the powerful prayer from her pastor that helps her stay grounded.


    Maintaining Faith Amidst Evil: Leslie and Molly Catherine explore the challenge of maintaining faith in God's goodness despite witnessing daily evils, emphasizing the importance of viewing circumstances through the lens of God's character.


    Biblical vs. Legal Justice: A discussion on the differences between biblical justice and legal justice, explaining that while Jesus takes on our sins, earthly actions still have consequences.


    Forgiveness and Consequences: Addressing common misconceptions in churches that forgiveness erases consequences, stressing that actions have consequences and forgiveness does not negate the need for justice.


    Empowering Women: Encouraging women to learn essential life skills to become less dependent on their abusers, highlighting the empowering effect of managing finances, household tasks, and other responsibilities.


    Church Support for Victims: Practical ways churches can support victims of abuse, such as knowing local resources, helping with logistics, and offering emotional support. Emphasizing the church's role in ensuring the safety and well-being of individuals over maintaining relationships at all costs.


    Hope and Redemption: Molly Catherine shares a hopeful story of a victim of sexual abuse within a church community and how proper support and handling of the case led to justice and healing.

    • 46 min
    Ask Leslie Episode! Divorce, Detachment, Indifference, Narcissism, and Empathy

    Ask Leslie Episode! Divorce, Detachment, Indifference, Narcissism, and Empathy

    RESOURCES:
    Leslie's Quick Start Guide: www.leslievernick.com/start
    If you'd like to ask a question for a future "Ask Leslie" episode, go to www.leslievernick.com/askleslie Questions in this episode:

    Doesn’t there have to be infidelity, domestic violence or abandonment as a reason for divorce? 

    8:51 What does it mean to detach and can I detach from my husband who shows contempt for me and dismisses my feelings and needs
    23:56 How is empathy different from people pleasing?
    27:47 What is a narcissist and how do we appropriately use this term?
    37:33 What does chronic indifference look like in a relationship?
     

    • 47 min
    Rachel’s Resolve: A Path Through Adversity

    Rachel’s Resolve: A Path Through Adversity

    In this profoundly moving episode, Julie Sedenko welcomes Rachel, a mentor in the Conquer program, who has courageously navigated her way through a tumultuous marriage, a grueling custody battle, and significant health challenges. Rachel shares her personal story of survival and resilience, offering hope and guidance to those facing their own adversities.

    • 46 min
    Self-Compassion in Action

    Self-Compassion in Action

    RESOURCES:
    Dr. Alison Cook
    I Shouldn't Feel This Way
    "The Best of You" Podcast
    Lesllie's Quick Start Guide
    I. Story: Understanding Emotional Triggers A. Example of anger towards adult child B. Framing emotions: Is it about the other person, oneself, God, or circumstances? C. Importance of recognizing the source of emotions
    II. Three Practices for Emotional Health A. Naming Emotions 1. Recognizing and labeling feelings without judgment 2. Importance of self-awareness and emotional vocabulary
    B. Framing Emotions 1. Understanding the context and underlying causes of emotions 2. Examining personal responsibility and perspective
    C. Braving Action 1. Taking intentional steps based on emotional understanding 2. Balancing discernment and action in response to emotions
    III. Selfhood and Agency in Relationships A. Acknowledging personal needs and boundaries B. Exploring societal and Christian expectations for women C. Embracing selfhood as essential for healthy relationships
    IV. Recognizing Self-Gaslighting A. Identifying invalidation of personal experiences B. Cultivating self-trust and authenticity C. Partnering with God's discernment in navigating emotions
    V. Benefits for Spiritual and Psychological Growth A. Integration of faith and psychology in emotional healing B. Understanding the role of emotions and the body in spiritual life C. Tools for self-compassion and emotional resilience
    This episode delves into practical strategies for emotional discernment, emphasizing self-awareness, framing emotions, and taking intentional action. It highlights the importance of embracing selfhood and offers tools for self-compassion and growth, regardless of one's spiritual beliefs.

    • 41 min
    The Importance of Safety & Trust

    The Importance of Safety & Trust

    RESOURCESwww.leslievernick.comSuicide and crisis hotline: 988

    Challenges in Recognizing Unsafe Relationships
    Dismissing Own Feelings and Needs
    Fear of Confronting Truth About Relationship Dynamics


    Addressing Misguided Advice
    Forgiveness and Forgetting
    Importance of Remembering Past Actions for Setting Boundaries
    Illustration: Story of the Songwriter Behind "Amazing Grace"
    Understanding Need for Repentance and Growth

    Maintenance vs. Repair Work in Relationships
    Analogy: House Maintenance and Repair
    Necessity of Addressing Trust and Safety Issues Before Other Issues
    Recognizing Difference Between Maintenance Tasks and Repair Work



    Understanding Individual Capacity and Emotional Management
    Importance of Self-Awareness in Managing Emotions
    Recognizing Emotional Capacity and Limitations
    Analogies: Understanding Emotional Capacity Through Everyday Examples


    Taking Ownership of Personal Growth
    Individual Responsibility for Personal Development
    Importance of Prioritizing Self-Care and Emotional Well-Being
    Recognizing When Individual Work is Necessary Before Addressing Relationship Issues


    Seeking Help and Support
    Encouragement to Seek Professional Guidance and Support
    Highlighting Available Resources for Personal Growth and Relationship Support
    Empowerment to Prioritize Personal Growth and Safety in Relationships
     

    • 42 min
    Boundary Basics: A Practical Guide to Personal Power

    Boundary Basics: A Practical Guide to Personal Power

    Setting Boundaries and Prioritizing Self-Care
    1. Introduction to Boundaries
    Boundaries are essential for maintaining healthy relationships and self-respect.
    Understanding the importance of boundaries in various aspects of life.
    2. Recognizing Boundary Violations
    Signs of boundary violations include feeling drained, disrespected, or overwhelmed.
    Identifying situations where boundaries are being crossed and acknowledging the need for change.
    3. Establishing Boundaries
    The importance of clear communication when setting boundaries.
    Examples of effective boundary-setting phrases 
    4. Dealing with Criticism
    Addressing criticism that may arise when implementing boundaries.
    Seeking support from understanding individuals who respect your journey.
    5. Respecting Yourself
    Embracing self-respect and understanding that boundaries are not selfish but necessary for personal growth.
    Recognizing and valuing your uniqueness and individual needs.
    6. Knowing Yourself
    The importance of self-awareness in establishing and maintaining boundaries.
    Understanding your preferences, limitations, and values to make informed decisions.

    • 51 min

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