Desi Dramas

Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova
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  • Mental Health
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Ever wish your therapist just got what it means to be a Desi? Step inside the mind of Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova, a Desi clinical psychologist unpacking the familiar stories keeping us stuck. Each week, she transforms evidence-based tools using a cultural lens — bicultural identity, family conflict, marriage tension, and everything in between. Practical tools so you can feel empowered. This is not therapy, but we trust it will be therapeutic.

  1. 6 days ago

    Why Your Partner Shuts Down When You're Upset (Desi Psychologist)

    What so many couples get wrong is that they look for the problem in their partner. In actuality, their conflicts usually play out as a pattern. A dance. And it repeats no matter what the fight is about on the surface. I'm Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova, a Desi clinical psychologist based out of California. One of the first things I do with any couple is map out their dance. In this episode you watch me do it with a couple I call Akash and Sheetal, whose fight looked like it was about a missed soccer game and was really about two childhood wounds. Sheetal was scared of being alone. Akash's was that he was failing. When Sheetal criticizes, Akash goes quiet, and each move lands on the other's tender spot. This is the one that may move you from looking for the issue in your partner to looking at the pattern WITH your partner. 00:00 Why every fight sounds like the same fight 00:16 Akash and Sheetal's story 01:17 She criticizes, he withdraws: the pattern on the surface 01:28 Going below deck — what the fight is actually about 01:41 Sheetal's vulnerability: "I always felt alone" as a child 03:05 Akash's vulnerability: "I feel like I'm failing" 03:28 Where Akash learned to go quiet — his parents' marriage 04:37 The dance mapped out: criticize, withdraw, repeat 05:07 Neither partner is the problem — the pattern is 05:54 Name your dance so you can catch it: "we're doing the ghidda again" 07:26 What to do this week with your partner, and what's coming next The dance and vulnerability-cycle framework draws on Emotionally Focused Therapy (Sue Johnson) and the work of Mona DeKoven Fishbane and Michele Scheinkman. Next week is part two: once you and your partner have named your dance, what are the first moves that get you out of it? And if you want to share a drama you are in, message Dr. Heena at desi-dramas.com. She might unpack your tension in an upcoming episode. To find the podcast, resources, and contact Dr. Heena: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desi-Dramas Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/033j40tjJOYSJREHnoGBGS Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/desi-dramas/id1896851794 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desidramaspodcast TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desidramas Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/heena-manglani-terranova-san-diego-ca/1213462

  2. 1 Sept

    The 5-Part Conversation Recipe That Keeps Desi Couples Stable (Nonviolent Communication)

    What if you can communicate like you are building a plate of chaat? Papdi, chickpeas, dahi, chutneys, sev. Observation, thoughts, feelings, needs, request. These are 5 key ingredients that help you be vulnerable. It's how you can say what's true for you but not unkind to the other. The couples I see say the same thing again and again: when they stick to this, it works. So I'm serving it up through some in-law drama. Your husband agrees to Saturday at his parents' house without asking you first.If it tastes a little foreign, it should because you are trying a new way of communicating. Chapters: 0:00 Why food is how you get a Desi to listen 1:00 What couples say about this communication framework 1:35 Who I am 1:55 Part 1: The papdi — the observation 3:12 Part 2: The chickpeas — the story I'm telling myself 4:19 Part 3: The dahi — the feeling 4:44 Part 4: The chutneys — the need 5:12 Part 5: The sev — the request 5:51 The whole plate, start to finish Have a story you want unpacked anonymously in a future episode? Send it to me at https://desi-dramas.com To find the podcast, resources, and contact Dr. Heena:YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desi-Dramas Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/033j40tjJOYSJREHnoGBGS Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/desi-dramas/id1896851794 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desidramaspodcast TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desidramas Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/heena-manglani-terranova-san-diego-ca/1213462 #DesiDramas #NonviolentCommunication #SouthAsianMentalHealth #DesiCouples #DesiTherapist #InLaws #CommunicationSkills #BrownGirlTherapy

  3. 25 Aug

    3 Things Desis Say That Block Connection

    What do you want from therapy? Better communication. But what Desis ask for is usually not where we begin. To communicate better, we actually need to be better listeners.In this video, I break down three blockers to communication: reassurance, problem-solving, and derailing. These are pervasive, so much so, that I share what happened when I called my own mom from the ER after my six-month-old was admitted. Once you learn these blockers to listening well, you'll learn one phrase to communicate better. It's something you can start using this week to say hard things without them landing as an attack.Chapters:0:00 Why "communicate better" advice fails1:00 Who I am1:24 Blocker #1: Reassurance ("Sab teek ho jayega")1:49 Desi mom gives reassurance when something else was needed3:49 Blocker #2: Problem-solving too soon5:41 Blocker #3: Derailing7:46 The replacement: "The story I'm telling myself is…"8:19 Takeaways: what to ask insteadNext Tuesday: the full communication framework I use with Desis in my practice.To find the podcast, resources, and contact Dr. Heena:Have a story you want unpacked anonymously in a future episode? Send it to me at https://desi-dramas.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desi-DramasSpotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/033j40tjJOYSJREHnoGBGSApple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/desi-dramas/id1896851794Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desidramaspodcastTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desidramasPsychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/heena-manglani-terranova-san-diego-ca/1213462

  4. 18 Aug

    3 Essential Communication Skills for Couples (From a Desi Psychologist)

    Every couple that goes to therapy makes the same mistake. They describe the fight. Who said what, when, where, why, how. But that is not what I am listening for. I'm listening for what is beneath sea level. I help couples go beneath the deck to see what's deeper. This is how they avoid crashing into the iceberg and do conflict better. In this episode I give you the three tools I hand almost every couple I see in our first sessions, plus one sentence that works as a lifeboat when you have already crashed. I'm Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova, a Desi clinical psychologist in California. Going below the deck to that emotional level was probably not modeled in most Desi families, so I model it here, using a couple I call Nikki and Jay and a fight about unpaid bills that was never really about the bills. 00:00 Teaser — the one mistake every couple in therapy makes 00:18 Your conflict is the iceberg: how couples therapy actually works 02:13 Communication tool 1 — speak about your emotions, not from your emotions 03:00 Nikki and Jay: the fight about the unpaid bills 04:03 Communication tool 2 — "I" statements that are true but not unkind 05:30 Communication tool 3 — go below the deck, into the vulnerability 06:35 Why it was never about the bills: Nikki as the eldest daughter 07:29 The one sentence to say mid-fight — "I can see that you're hurting" 08:21 What Desi parents' marriages never modeled — "Growing up, did you see that?" 09:06 Takeaways — three tools and one lifeboat The quotes from tools one and two come from my mentor, licensed clinical social worker Liz Brenner, who was on the podcast last week talking about in-law drama. Go listen to that one next. Next week: after you say "I see you're hurting," what do you actually do? I give you a framework for navigating any difficult conversation, with a partner, a parent, a friend, or a colleague. And if you want to share a drama you are in, message Dr. Heena at desi-dramas.com. She might unpack your tension in an upcoming episode. To find the podcast, resources, and contact Dr. Heena: Website: https://desi-dramas.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desi-Dramas Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/033j40tjJOYSJREHnoGBGSApple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/desi-dramas/id1896851794 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desidramaspodcast TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desidramas Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/heena-manglani-terranova-san-diego-ca/1213462 New episodes every Tuesday. This isn't therapy, but I trust it has been therapeutic. Share this with your co-captain.

  5. 10 Aug

    What to Say When Your Mom and Your Wife Are Both Upset With You (A Live Therapy Role Play)

    A new day and a new drama between your mom and your wife. Desi husbands feel like the rope with their mom on one side and their wife on the other--both pulling you to side with them. You may have been stuck in this tension for some time and feel exhausted. Desi clinical psychologist, Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova sees this in her practice all the time. So she brought in her mentor, licensed clinical social worker, Liz Brenner, to do a role play where Dr. Heena acted like the stuck husband. In this episode, you're going to learn why this tension is so common, what to say to your wife, what to say to your mom, and what to ask yourself. It is complicated and it can be so painful. But it doesn't have to keep playing out the way it has been. 00:00 Teaser 02:40 Meet Liz Brenner + why this comes up in almost every family I work with 03:52 The role play begins: husband caught between mom and wife 09:47 The guilt underneath — "being a bad beta" 15:54 Liz makes Heena break character: "Have you thought about making dinner yourself?" 19:46 Naming the real boundary issue 23:53 The patriarchy that he's swimming in and can't see 28:11 "It's that both people don't feel seen" 33:18 The loyalty bind 36:20 The shuttlecock — and the door to change 44:01 What does he actually want? 47:26 Stuck in the triangle 49:20 Liz's one message for everyone caught in this To find the podcast, resources, and more check out: 🌐 Website: https://desi-dramas.com 📺 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desi-Dramas 🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/033j40tjJOYSJREHnoGBGS 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/desi-dramas/id1896851794 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desidramaspodcast 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desidramas 🤝🏽 Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/heena-manglani-terranova-san-diego-ca/1213462 To get trained in couple and family therapy check out: https://therapytrainingboston.com/. And if you want to share a drama you are in, message Dr. Heena at desi-dramas.com. She might unpack your tension in an upcoming episode. This isn't therapy and I trust it has been therapeutic. Share this with someone who needs it!

  6. 4 Aug

    The Noise First-Generation Desis May Need to Quiet

    What is therapy with first-generation Desis really about? Quieting the noise to figure out what you actually want, even if that means being a bad egg. Therapist Paulomi Dave-Potter, founder of Meeting You Therapy, joins Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova to talk about the noise that first-generation and immigrant Desis carry: marriage pressure, achievement pressure, comparison, and the expectation that love has to be earned. You'll hear how loneliness feels universal to anyone who's left home (and what "mud season" has to do with it), how to use your senses to come back into the present moment, and why so many Desis feel they can only partner with someone their family approves of. Paulomi and Dr. Heena also get into how visa status, achievement, and survival get tangled together for first-generation professionals, and why the debt you feel toward your parents can never really be repaid, no matter how hard you try. 0:00 Introduction 0:21 Welcome and Meeting Paulomi 1:56 Paulomi's Identity and Background 4:58 Loneliness, Leaving Home, and Mud Season 7:42 Naming Emotions and Creating Space 8:59 Grounding Through the Senses 12:14 The Noise Metaphor 13:43 Marriage Pressure and Choosing a Partner 17:54 Visa Pressure and the Cost of Achievement 22:53 Conditional Love and Immigrant Bargaining 30:16 Comparison, Social Media, and Alignment 38:00 Final Takeaways 39:00 Where to Find Paulomi Paulomi Dave-Potter is a licensed therapist and the founder of Meeting You Therapy, working with first-generation Americans and foreign-born immigrants in the Boston-Cambridge area. You can reach her at meetingyoutherapy.com. New episodes every Tuesday. If this one resonates, this is a good episode to send to a friend who's been struggling to quiet the noise in their life.

  7. 28 Jul

    5 Exercises to Prepare Your Marriage Before Baby Comes

    The number one fight new parents have isn't about money or in-laws. It's who does what and whether it feels fair. Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova shares the five exercises she walks every pregnant couple through in her practice: mapping how your identity is about to shift, dividing the load as two full owners instead of one manager and one helper, designing a fourth trimester that feels supportive instead of controlling, building tiny new rituals that protect your relationship once the baby arrives, and creating a shared vision for the family you're actually building together. Nearly two thirds of couples report a real dip in marital satisfaction in the first two years after having a baby. This episode is for the couples who want to be in the other third. 0:00 Intro: What No One Preps You for 3:52 Why Relationship Satisfaction Dips After Baby 5:58 Exercise 1: The Identity Pie 8:41 Exercise 2: Divide the Load as Two Owners 16:04 Exercise 3: Design Your Fourth Trimester 23:22 Exercise 4: Create New Rituals 30:11 Exercise 5: Build Your Shared Meaning 36:35 Takeaways and Recap Templates for every exercise, plus the questions Dr. Heena and her own partner used to prepare their marriage, are at desi-dramas.com. New episodes every Tuesday. If you're expecting or know someone who is, this is the episode to send them, alongside all the other support you are providing because we need all the help we can get during this transition.

  8. 21 Jul

    The most important need for Desis

    Part 2 of the six core emotional needs every child has — this time, self-expression, safety, and self-worth. Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova walks through why so many Desis learned that wanting things out loud was shameful, why "there's no reason to worry" quietly teaches kids their feelings are wrong, and why achievement-based self-worth becomes an engine that never stops running — even into marriage and parenthood. You'll leave with exact phrases and actions for each need, drawn from real patterns Dr. Heena sees in her practice with Desi individuals, couples, and families. Missed Part 1? Go back and listen to connection, autonomy, and realistic limits before this one. The full guide for both episodes is at desi-dramas.com. New episodes every Tuesday.

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Ever wish your therapist just got what it means to be a Desi? Step inside the mind of Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova, a Desi clinical psychologist unpacking the familiar stories keeping us stuck. Each week, she transforms evidence-based tools using a cultural lens — bicultural identity, family conflict, marriage tension, and everything in between. Practical tools so you can feel empowered. This is not therapy, but we trust it will be therapeutic.

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    18
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova
  • Show Website
    Desi Dramas