A LITTLE MORE IMPERFECTS

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The Imperfects

Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
  • 0.0 (0)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated weekly

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

  1. Dr Emily - You're Full of Grit

    3 days ago

    Dr Emily - You're Full of Grit

    Do you think you have grit? 💌Join 8,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Research has shown that the most common characteristic of elite performers and high achievers is grit. Understood as the passion and perseverance for very long term goals, Grit is not about natural ability or talent, but rather how we choose to grow. Your favourite resident psychologist, Dr Emily Musgrove, is back in the studio this week to talk about how you can become a grittier person! We also look inward, as Josh asks how to maintain grit when it feels like your inner critic is overwhelmingly loud. Dr Em, so great to have you back. 0:00 – Down with the nonchalance! 5:43 – Talent vs Excellence10:40 – Interested in finding your interests16:42 – For the non-naturals in the room 24:22 – Effort is essential for excellence 32:17 – Practicing, kindly 35:01 – Hope is earned 42:06 – The good and bad criticism53:45 – Encountering pain and discomfort 59:54 – For the greater good 1:06:09 – The dark side of perseverance If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, click here - https://youtu.be/JmcLV7DGL4k  🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Dyson Heppell - Whatever It Takes… To Forgive - https://bit.ly/4egeneO Nedd Brockmann - The Man, The Myth, The Neddgend - https://bit.ly/4egfATo Dr Emily - Hope - https://bit.ly/43YalTr Bri Lee - Babies+Climate=Anxiety - https://bit.ly/4xlrYdl How I Built ‘Dis’ - The Resilience Project Story - https://bit.ly/4aH0dSP 📚Things to read Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth - https://bit.ly/4vzoe6o Self-efficacy, by Albert Bandura - https://bit.ly/4fx4KdW Master of Change, by Brad Stulberg - https://bit.ly/4xCbUEv Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise, by Anders Ericsson - https://bit.ly/3Q9cIje 📺Things to watch THE GAP, by Ira Glass - https://bit.ly/4xjkuHL ⭐️Things to donate to JMB Foundation - https://jmbfoundation.org.au 🏆Competitions to enter Imperfects LIVE at the Balwyn Cinema Gold Class Double Pass - https://bit.ly/3S0E0Zr 🎟️Things to buy tickets to Imperfects LIVE at the Balwyn Cinema - https://bit.ly/4vq9JSr 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1hr 17min
  2. Ellyse Perry - It Starts With Trying

    7 Jun

    Ellyse Perry - It Starts With Trying

    At just 16, Ellyse Perry was the youngest person to ever debut for the Australian International Cricket team. 13 days later, Ellyse debuted for the Matildas. 💌Join 7,800+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Arguably one of the greatest athletes of our time, Hugh, Ryan and Josh chat to Ellyse about how she stays so grounded amidst her incredible success, and whether she is able to separate who she is from what she does. Ellyse chats to the guys about her relationship with her dad (Josh and Hugh furiously take notes), and how both her parents were able to instil a love of trying rather than winning. And then we get onto social anxiety; what it feels like for Ellyse, why she loves silent retreats, and how she manages it in front of her fans. Ellyse, you are a literal ray of sunshine. Please come back anytime. If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/xAZeLzcG43Y  0:00 – Is THAT AI?5:05 – Running (and bowling) it’s natural course11:24 – The feeling of not trying17:18 – Parents: Be A Good Sport29:22 – Prepare to be disappointed40:23 – Bitter sweet World Cup46:48 – The complexity of ego1:03:54 – Practicing presence1:10:30 – Hugh’s advice for big moments 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Pat Cummins - Love, Loss & Life - (1:14:20) - https://bit.ly/3PRku11 WHO ARE YOU? with Dr Emily (+ secret code word) - (17:20) - https://bit.ly/4e1SxeV 📖 Things to read Perspective by Ellyse Perry - (29:22) - https://bit.ly/3PSMaCI Ellyse Perry’s children’s books - https://bit.ly/4e1TyDM Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman - (1:11:40) - https://bit.ly/437yxT9 📺Things to watch Carl Sagan’s Pale Blue Dot - (1:17:27) - https://bit.ly/3PSPKNa 🏆Competitions to enter Imperfects LIVE at the Balwyn Cinema Gold Class Double Pass - https://bit.ly/3S0E0Zr 🎟️Things to buy tickets to Imperfects LIVE at the Balwyn Cinema - https://bit.ly/4vq9JSr 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1hr 21min
  3. We're Doing a One-Off Live Show!

    2 Jun ·  Bonus

    We're Doing a One-Off Live Show!

    We have a BIG announcement. August 19. Balwyn Cinema. Our first ever live podcast recording. With Hugh, Ryan, Josh, Dr Emily, and you? ARE YOU AS EXCITED AS WE ARE?! And you could win your way there! THE ULTIMATE GOLD CLASS DOUBLE PASS includes: 2 x tickets, flights or a limo if you're already in Melbourne, accomodation for the night, popcorn, choc top, sparkling wine and a personal escort to your seats by former Balwyn Cinema employee Hugh van Cuylenburg! 🏆 Enter here NOW - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/balwyn-entry/ Tickets will go live Monday June 8. 🎟️ Buy here - https://bit.ly/4ecYtTw BUT to enter the competition OR buy tickets, you need a codeword (lowercase). And the only way you will hear the codeword is to be a Little More Imperfects subscriber and listen to the latest episode! So quick, subscribe here! 🩵Patreon - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷Apple Podcast - http://apple.co/theimperfects We can’t wait to see you there x See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    10 min
  4. Is AI Conscious? with Joel Pearson

    20 May • Subscribers Only

    Is AI Conscious? with Joel Pearson

    What about the environmental impact of AI? What do you mean they’re putting data centres into space? Is AI conscious? Can robots create art? What jobs WILL be safe? All these questions and more with Neuro Futurist Joel Pearson. Thank you to our incredible subscribers for sending through these questions. Sign up to A Little More Imperfects to join the community and contribute to future episodes… (made by humans) Patreon: http://bit.ly/4mqunxu Apple Podcasts: http://apple.co/theimperfects

    26 min
  5. How do you know you're in a thinking trap?

    11 May • Subscribers Only

    How do you know you're in a thinking trap?

    Introducing the inaugural episode of A Little More Questions, with Josh and Bridge. In our first episode, we are welcoming back psychologist Maria Ruberto to, well, answer a little more questions: How do you know that you’re in a thinking trap? And once you’re in, how do you get out? Some quick housekeeping; this episode is hosted by the best producer in the whole world, Bridget Northeast, and Josh van Cuylenburg (you know, from the podcast). In this episode, Bridge and Josh ask Maria about thinking traps; what are they? How do you know you’re in one? And what strategies can you use to get out of it? We discuss martyr syndrome and victim syndrome, the consequences of silent expectations, and why the statement ‘I think it therefore it must be true’ might not be …. true. And then, we take a good, hard look at compassion and how we can adjust our understanding of its impact. 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Maria Ruberto - Advancing Despite Adversity - https://bit.ly/4d38WR3 Maria Ruberto - Sleep Your Way To Your Top - https://bit.ly/42pFM8D Dr Emily - Who Is Your Inner Critic & Why Is It There? - https://bit.ly/48WmgUP Ben Crowe - Play School - https://bit.ly/3PgLlDa 💻Things to check out Mary Helen Immodino-Yang - https://bit.ly/4dB4Gsa 📖 Things to read Choose Compassion, by James Kirby - https://bit.ly/48WIVAq 💚Where to find more Maria Salutegenics - https://bit.ly/4uJbjyl Resilience First Aid Training - https://bit.ly/4ts1Z0A SOMA for Leadership Development - https://bit.ly/4dh7w4l The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    1hr 15min
  6. Dr Emily Answers Your Questions on Parental Burnout

    4 May • Subscribers Only

    Dr Emily Answers Your Questions on Parental Burnout

    What is parental burnout? How does it differ from parental stress? How can you actually recover when being a parent is, well, a full-time job? 🩵Subscribe here to listen - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu Dr Emily is back in our favourite little corner of the internet (A Little More Imperfects) to answer as many questions as she can, asked by you guys, about the topic of parental burnout. Dr Em explores through these questions the themes of overwhelm, anger and rage, and identity, and well as taking Hugh, Ryan and Josh through the conditions that may lead to parental burnout. Most importantly Dr Emily guides us through how, in the trenches of burnout, we may be able to offer ourselves some compassion and work our way out of it. Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who submitted a question, and as always, thank you to Dr Emily. Ciao! 🫖 Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode - Dr Emily - Overcome With Overwhelm? - https://bit.ly/4wcKi8c - Dr Edna Lekgabe - New Baby … New Brain … Matrescence - https://bit.ly/42dgytW - Janelle Booker - Living With ADHD - https://bit.ly/4tRagMR - Maggie Dent - ‘Good Enough’ Parenting is Good Enough - https://bit.ly/4w8nEgY - Dr Emily - Compassion of The Self - https://bit.ly/4taKySc - Dr Emily - What Are Your Values? - https://bit.ly/4n4O0wi - Penny & Hugh - The Elephant in the Relationship - https://bit.ly/4thglkC 📖 Things to read - Beyond Job Burnout: Parental Burnout by Moira Mikolajczak et al. - https://bit.ly/4tJuQP2 - Cultural Contradictions of Motherhood by Sharon Hays - https://bit.ly/4elOGLu 💻Things to check out - Dr Sophie Brock’s work on The Perfect Mother Myth - https://bit.ly/4w7zAiZ The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    1hr 12min
  7. EAT. (put the kids to) SLEEP. RAVE. REPEAT?

    20 Apr • Subscribers Only

    EAT. (put the kids to) SLEEP. RAVE. REPEAT?

    So, turns out, Hugh did in fact go to see one of the seven wonders of the world (Chicane Live at Chase’s Nightclub). Obviously, Hugh took the essentials; melatonin and special pillow for neck purposes. It was a big night. In other news, Ryan has entered the Archibald prize with a self-portrait (no, seriously), and Hugh is back with another quote to remind us to celebrate the little moments of joy. 🫖Other episodes of the Imperfects mentioned in this episode; - Dr Emily - Acceptance, That’s Radical - https://bit.ly/4sNIYp3 - Dr Lucy Hone - A Life Worth Grieving - https://bit.ly/3OAmSIP 👨‍🎨 Things to do (art edition) - Watch Ryan’s self-portrait video - https://bit.ly/4tmblfr - Create your own self-portrait and send it in! 🎧 Things to listen to - Chicane - https://bit.ly/3ONwu2Y 📖 Things to read - The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran - https://bit.ly/4dYhqK8 - How Proust Can Change Your Life by Alain de Botton - https://bit.ly/4dYkdDa

    38 min
  8. Esther Perel - It’s Not Them, It’s You

    12 Apr

    Esther Perel - It’s Not Them, It’s You

    Are you stuck, focusing on what's wrong in your relationship? Deeply embedded in the work of intimacy, desire and relationships, psychotherapist and best-selling author Esther Perel, ask us to take a look at ourselves first, rather than listing the short comings of our partner. 💌Join 6,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy In this Academy of Imperfection, Hugh (who sadly was violently ill last time we talked to Esther) comes armed with questions about the mental load (with love, from Penny), and how to navigate their differing needs for affection. Ryan asks Esther whether we’re capable of falling in love with AI, and Josh wants to know why we sometimes put up walls with the ones we love the most. And, if you’ve ever asked yourself any of the below, this episode’s for you; is working from home causing social atrophy? what does it mean to be an embodied creature? what are the downfalls of a frictionless relationship? Esther, you are welcome back anytime. ANYTIME. If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/u5HsDD9bjRQ  🫖Other episodes of the Imperfects mentioned on this episode Esther Perel - Let’s Be Better Lovers - https://bit.ly/41m8R4f Hugh & Penny - The Elephant in the Relationship - https://bit.ly/3PPugAp 💻Things to check out Where Should We Begin? At Work card game - https://bit.ly/48jpQYJ 🎧Things to listen to Where Should We Begin - Esther’s podcast - https://bit.ly/4dtsNJK My AI Loves Me Better Than Anyone Ever Could - Where Should We Begin - https://bit.ly/4twUbeC Esther Perel on Why A.I. Intimacy Feels Safe but Isn’t Real - https://bit.ly/4sofVsf 📖 Things to read Mating in Captivity, by Esther Perel - https://bit.ly/3Os5Dcx The State of Affairs, by Esther Perel - https://bit.ly/48yFn74 📺 Things to watch Rethinking Infidelity TEDTalk - https://bit.ly/4seN3md Love Story - https://bit.ly/4ct63se 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects   0:00 – Intimacy: what has changed, what has stayed the same? 6:23 – This is my partner, AI 14:08 – A mismatch of affection 23:56 – Bids for connection 32:08 – Can you repair trust? 41:02 – Post-traumatic Growth 49:43 – The central hub of our needs 58:38 – The Mental Load Pt. 2 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1hr 11min
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About

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

Information

  • Creator
    Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    325
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
  • Show Website
    The Imperfects
  • Provider
    The Imperfects Podcast Pty Ltd

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