Avoidance and Control

Monique Gomez
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  • MENTAL HEALTH
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Are you avoiding places and people to feel more comfortable? Welcome to the Avoidance and Control Podcast, together we will uncover these common reactions of our nervous system and learn to use them to our advantage to get our voices heard and needs met. Join me as we step out of society's view of health and focus on skills over symptoms. Host Monique Gomez former mental health clinician turned Trauma and Resilience Life Coach, will simplify the science to help you navigate being a human with reactions, tools to support, and how her coaching to reach compassion beyond your imagination.

  1. 9 HRS AGO

    Somatic Healing Through Divorce with Madisen Rose

    Explore somatic healing through divorce with Madisen Rose—nervous system tools for grief, rupture, anger, and rebuilding self-trust from within. Madisen Rose is a somatic practitioner and founder of Better Half to Whole, a platform dedicated to supporting individuals through the renegotiation of relational trauma in the nervous system, specializing in divorce recovery. Through one-on-one sessions, digital resources, self-paced online courses, and group programs, Madisen helps people rebuild after divorce with intention, compassion, grit, and self-trust. Through trauma-trained practices, she bridges the space between science and the sacred. In This Episode: Definitions for Trauma, Rupture, and SomaticsTools for Overwhelm and AngerFight or Freeze Responses Madisen Rose Website- www.betterhalftowhole.com Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/betterhalftowhole/ Consult- https://calendly.com/madisen-betterhalftowhole/20-minute-somatic-consult-free Dare to Heal Resources: https://dtheal.org/ https://dtheal.org/45-min-introductory-session Podcasts Mentioned in Episode (by Title): Navigating Relationship Ruptures and Repair with Allie Andrews Survival Mode and Grief with Andrea Turnbow What is Fawning/ People Pleasing with Allie Andrews What is Dissociation? Window of Tolerance: Nervous System 101

    34 min

  2. 16 MAR

    Resentment is Draining You: The Healing Power of Forgiveness with Stephen Tolfree

    What happens when resentment from workplace conflict follows you long after the situation ends? Many people carry anger, betrayal, or injustice from toxic work environments, and those emotions can quietly erode mental health, self-esteem, and hope. In this episode, Monique Gomez speaks with workplace conflict recovery coach Stephen Tolfree about a powerful but often misunderstood psychological concept: forgiveness. In This Epsiode: The Cost of Staying in Resentment/ PainCommon misconceptions about forgivenessWhy forgiveness does not mean excusing harmful behavior Stephen Tolfree is a coach specializing in helping individuals recover from workplace conflict and the emotional impact of professional mistreatment. His work focuses on guiding people through the psychological and emotional recovery process so they can rebuild confidence, restore well-being, and move forward with clarity within a single Coaching Session. Stephens Links: https://www.recover-from-divorce.com/https://www.stephentolfree.com/https://www.rehabilitate.uk/ Moniques Links Website www.dtheal.org https://dtheal.org/45-min-introductory-session https://dtheal.org/mh-resources My Book https://www.amazon.com/Not-Chancla-Awareness-History-Compassion/dp/B0BPG8BRW5

    34 min

  3. 8 MAR

    The Neurodivergent Brain: Lifestyle Awareness for Better Regulation with Carla Padilla

    Neurodivergence is a word that’s becoming more common, but many people still wonder what it really means and how it shows up in everyday life. In this episode, we explore neurodivergence through a lifestyle and nervous system lens, focusing on awareness, regulation, and practical understanding. In this episode we discuss: • What neurodivergence means and how it can show up in daily life• How lifestyle awareness and functional approaches can support nervous system regulation• Understanding masking and why many neurodivergent individuals learn to hide or suppress their natural responses• What demand avoidance is and how it can be misunderstood in relationships, and work• Communication strategies that help neurodivergent and neurotypical individuals better understand each other Guest Bio Carla Padilla is a functional health coach specializing in helping clients moderate symptoms of ADHD and autism. Her personal experience with a completely neurodivergent household, along with her own recovery from chronic illness, informs her holistic framework of care—supporting mind, body, and spirit with each client. She offers private coaching, group classes, and corporate training. Learn more at neurospicysoulcare.com. Carla Padilla website- Carlapadilla.com Podcast Spotify- https://open.spotify.com/show/3l1VbvD5vzyrtHoCICWdIN?si=d7c2adfc128f49c0 Apple Podcast link Moniques Website https://dtheal.org/ My Book- Not The Chancla: How Awareness of Our History and Trauma Create Compassion to Rewrite Our Future Amazon link

    44 min

  4. 27 FEB

    Why Some Apologies Never Work (And What Actually Releases Resentment) with Jon Bui

    How much discomfort do you need to feel in order to speak or acknowledge hurt? So many of us wait until the pressure builds—until the guilt, tension, or emotional weight becomes impossible to ignore—before we finally say something. In this episode, we explore in a Part2 Episode with Jon Bui creator of The Negotiated Apology In this Episode: how discomfort can actually be a guide rather than something to avoid.Taking accountability without collapsing into shame or self-criticismMoving out of the cycle of blaming others or blaming yourselfJon teaches people to apologize using high level negotiations and problem solving skills regularly utilized by lawyers. As a graduate of Lewis & Clark School of Law, he is transforming the conflict resolution industry by empowering people with strategy and empathy to transform mistakes into relationship building opportunities. His training is essential for organizations seeking to build a powerful and everlasting positive culture; and for leaders who wish to lead with trust, accountability, and humanity. Jons links: Website Instagram Linked In Avoidance and Control Episode: The Negotiated Apology:Practice Empathy Monique's Links: Book A Virtual Intro Session Links/ Resources Page Blog Post: The Grief No One Talks About Avoidance & Control: Thriving In Your Circles Avoidance & Control: Evaluating Attachments & Healing Old Wounds My Book

    33 min

  5. 15 FEB

    Breaking the Cycle of Abuse with Kristen Searcy, LCSW

    Abuse doesn’t just hurt—it disorients.Isolation grows. Agency shrinks. Self-trust erodes.In Part 3 of this series, Kristen Searcy of A Desert In Bloom Therapy walks us through the common themes across abusive patterns—including progressive loss of autonomy and the reality that confusion is the habitat where abuse thrives. We explore the signs you’re in it—and how to respond instead of react. In This Episode: Review of Common Themes of The Modernized Cycle of Abuse by K. Searcy, LCSWSigns of Knowing You are in a CycleTools for Choosing a Response, not ReactionKristen Searcy is an EMDRIA certified EMDR Trauma Therapist and the founder of A Desert In Bloom Therapy in Phoenix. She specializes in helping women heal from complex trauma, domestic violence and eating disorders, blending clinical expertise with an artist's soul. Her work guides women toward the freedom to live fully in the present and to sing their own heart song again. ⁠A Desert In Bloom⁠ ⁠Psychology Today Page⁠ ⁠Instagram Mental Health Resources: IF you or someone you know is not doing okay call or text 988 for mental health support and crises. ⁠https://988lifeline.org/⁠ Other Support links ⁠NAMI Support Lines/ Details⁠ ⁠Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration⁠ Link to apply for an OOP (order of protection) in Maricopa county General Information ⁠https://superiorcourt.maricopa.gov/llrc/orders-of-protection/⁠ Link to apply (you must create a login on AZ Point to file) ⁠https://azpoint.azcourts.gov/⁠  Domestic Violence Shelter (one main screener for all DC shelters in AZ)DV STOP⁠https://turnanewleaf.org/services/sexual-and-domestic-violence-services/dvstop/⁠ Arizona Address Confidentiality Program Application⁠https://azsos.gov/services/address-confidentiality-program/application-assistants⁠ Domestic Violence Legal Assistance Project ⁠https://www.azbf.org/domestic-violence-legal-assistance-project Dare to Heal Resources: ⁠45 Minute Intro Session⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Free Resources⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Events (AZ and Virtual)⁠ Other Avoidance & Control Episodes Mentioned : Fawning Episode with Allie Andrews What is Dissasociation What is Trauma

    50 min

  6. 11 FEB

    Reducing the Stigma of Suicide with Janet West

    We all can end up in what I like to call "The Deep Dark", a deep depression that suffocates our system to believing we need what our brain feels is the only way out. Join me and my friend Janet as we discuss the reasoning behind suicide ideation and what brings people to make such a decision. Janet is a Somatic Breathwork Practitioner and Health Coach who brings 27 years of experience as a physician assistant, along with deep expertise in behavioral health. After navigating her own journey through trauma and chronic pain, she now supports clients in restoring balance and well-being through breathwork and restorative health coaching. Janet believes deeply in the body’s innate intelligence and empowers individuals to reconnect with their capacity for self-healing. ** Please save and use the National Hotline for Suicide (TEXT or Call, anytime) 988 ** In This Episode: Why do we repeat patterns Biochemical Response (brain safety response) to get out of painWhat is Cognitive DissonanceBelow are other Suicide and Mental Health Resources ⁠https://988lifeline.org/ https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/helplines/national-helpline The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a national hotline offering one-on-one support for mental health, suicide, and substance use-related problems for anyone 24/7. No matter where you are in the United States, you can call or text the number 988 or chat online at 988lifeline.org and connect with a skilled, compassionate crisis counselor. The 988 Lifeline is a direct connection to immediate support and resources for anyone in crisis. Here are some of the many reasons people might decide to connect with the 988 Lifeline (MP4 | 18.6 MB). There is no reason too big or too small to reach out to 988. People can also call, text or chat 988 if they are worried about a loved one who may need crisis support. 988 call, chat, and text services are available in English and Spanish. Call services with interpreters are available in more than 240 languages. HOW to Know if you are in a Crisis

    1hr 25min

  7. 08/12/2025

    Burnout to Inviting More Peace with Rachel Richards

    Burnout doesn’t just show up as exhaustion—it creeps into our nervous system, our finances, our confidence, and even our ability to breathe through daily life. In this honest and grounding conversation, I’m joined by my dear friend and talented photographer, Rachel Richards, as we unpack the hidden layers of burnout, including money fears, panic attacks, survival mode, and the pressure to “hold it all together.” In This Episode: - Workaholism/ Societal or Generational patterns - Book Recommendations for Healing, Self-Sabotage, and Creativity - Identity Shifts Rachel Richards is an award-winning Phoenix-based photographer and filmmaker, and the heart behind Rachel Richards Photo + Film, who specializes in deeply intentional, in-home, documentary-style family storytelling. In addition to her client work, she creates botanical black-and-white fine art prints derived from her personal creative and mindfulness practice, available at Rachel Richards Fine Art. Rachel's Photo- Film Website Fine Art Prints Rachel Richards

    46 min

  8. 01/12/2025

    Boundaries without Guilt: The Swinging Door Analogy

    Want to stop going back to people who hurt you or make you "feel" crazy? Then use the Swinging door as the fairy Godmother of boundaries. I get it you are a recovering people pleaser and putting a boundary in place like; saying no, or that you cannot, or simply not responding to someones upset... is what this anaology helps us remove guilt and continue to stand in our power. Monique is a former therapist turned trauma coach, who love to bring compassion to how we react. The Swining Door anaologty is just that a way of thinking about relationships so we can show up and CHOOSE ourselves; so we then can have energy for others. $50 Introductory Coaching Session Not The Chancla: How Awareness of Our History Creates Compassion to Rewrite Our Future Dare to Heal Resource Page

    13 min
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About

Are you avoiding places and people to feel more comfortable? Welcome to the Avoidance and Control Podcast, together we will uncover these common reactions of our nervous system and learn to use them to our advantage to get our voices heard and needs met. Join me as we step out of society's view of health and focus on skills over symptoms. Host Monique Gomez former mental health clinician turned Trauma and Resilience Life Coach, will simplify the science to help you navigate being a human with reactions, tools to support, and how her coaching to reach compassion beyond your imagination.

Information

  • Creator
    Monique Gomez
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    62
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Monique Gomez
  • Show Website
    Avoidance and Control