Learning How To Be Old

Rachel McAlpine

I'm Rachel McAlpine, born in 1940. If you ever become old, you will still be you. But nearly everything else will change and that's pretty interesting.

Episodes

  1. 4 DAYS AGO

    43. What activities will still be fun in old age?

    Meena Kadri is only 56 but she already has activities that will be fun in old age. She gets great pleasure from activities with friends who are decades older than her. They inevitably show her different ways of being old, and they bring surprising stories and wisdom and fun to their conversation. That's one reason why Meena knows heaps about how to be old, and has no fear of old age. She’s learned from weaving and aquajogging with older women, and from hanging out with her 98-year-old uncle in Bombay. In this episode she also talks about the feng shui of park benches, and a workshop run by an octogenarian that alerted young designers to the needs of older people. I think you'll enjoy meeting Meena — and if so, do share her interview with a friend. Wellington City Council Hydrotherapy pool Park benches placed for conversation in Korea https://www.flickr.com/photos/meanestindian/ (Meena Kadri's amazing photostream on Flickr)

    25 min

  2. 24 FEB

    43. Don't fall into hospital

    Look, you don't want to fall over, do you, especially if you're old and your bones are brittle. Luckily there's plenty of scientific evidence about how to build our strength and balance, and proof that it really works. Adrian Pretorius's work helps to keep hundreds of people out of hospital. He’s got tips, apps, and evidence which will help us to stay upright. And if you do fall over, you don’t want to get stuck on the floor or break something so that we land up in hospital.  Personally, I’m very keen on avoiding that, aren’t you? Adrian has even got advice about that. New Zealand's Accident Compensation Corporation (ACC) has this goal for New Zealand residents: Live stronger for longer — prevent falls and fractures. Look for the low cost community-run Steady As You Go classes. NYMBL, an ingenious app, is free for all New Zealand residents over 50. Once last year I just fell over regardless, for no apparent reason, with no obvious cause. I didn't trip, slip, lose my balance, twist or stumble: I just felt as if someone popped the balloon of me and I collapsed. But thanks to one harmless and simple strategy, I fell softly and didn't hurt myself. So of course I asked Adrian to share this message: you can do this too. No guarantee! I'm well aware of that. But once learned, I've never forgotten it and I hope I never do. Fall softly! (After all, that's what children do.) So far, so good.

    27 min

  3. 10 FEB

    Recording stories of older people — Judith Fyfe

    Here's a very special discussion I recorded a couple of years ago with Judith Fyfe. As a trailblazing oral historian in New Zealand she has vast experience in recording the voices of older people, for example, World War I veterans and our centenarians. As a young journalist and talkback host, Judith Fyfe started to learn the necessary skills of listening with intelligence. Today she is still listening with purpose and empathy in her job as as a forensic lawyer. Listen carefully to Judith Fyfe, because she shares some fascinating insights, practical and profound. She has a strong sense of just how precious is the sound of very old people speaking — not just the stories they tell but their fascinating use of language and interesting voices. I hope you might be inspired to ask someone old to let you record their stories. It's a very significant work, usually bringing joy to both parties. Also it's so much easier now, starting with a cellphone and a microphone. But first, listen to Judith's advice. She is terribly modest, but she is the real deal. Oral history and sound archive, New Zealand National Library The birth of talkback radio in New Zealand War Stories Our Mothers Never Told Us — NZ Film on demand

    24 min

  4. 27 JAN

    41. New Year resolutions as you age

    I asked about New Year resolutions (if any) from strangers from 24 to 50. I find that we all do this thing (or don't do it) our own way. Your goals may be big or small, general or specific, and you may or may not achieve them. That's fine! New Year is an excellent time to think about your life and what you might like to change. That's valuable, regardless of whether you manage to achieve those changes. Yours is not the unexamined life that Socrates so despised. But I forgot to ask old people! If you're nearly 70s or older, have you noticed changes in your New Year resolutions as you age? Are your aims and values different? Please do tell! The easiest places to comment on this podcast: on the YouTube video version on my website: writeintolife.com/podcast on Substack, where I HOPE to remember to post a link to the podcast ... soon!

    21 min

  5. 11 JAN

    Senior diaries enrich your life

    Teenage diaries tend to be brave, passionate, exploratory, funny and heartbreaking. Senior diaries enrich your life with the clarity, compassion, and wisdom you have gathered over the decades. Writing a diary in old age is a chance to stretch your mind, express yourself, record events, have fun, and make sense of your life. Writer-podcaster Tracy Farr co-founded the Bad Diaries Salon and is the author of three novels, including the brilliant Wonderland in 2025. She knows a lot about diaries and aging. You kept your teenage diary secret for good reason: but a diary at any age brings many rewards. It's a trusted confidant, a creative outlet and a close friend. You wrote it as a strictly one-way communication, but when you're older, you can look back and see that your life has had a shape, a direction. That you have learned a great deal over the decades. And that your young self was not exceptionally foolish, but just, well, young! You'll hear about Tracy's own long-lived grandparents who were her role models for old age. She talks about eight years of Bad Diaries Salons, where writers read bits from their early diaries. What's the difference between diaries or journals and social media? Who are you writing for and what happens to your diaries when you die? We talk about Dr James Pennebaker's influential work on expressive writing and how it relates to diary writing. Why and how does this simple 3- or 4-step process help so many people to function well and stay healthy? Pennebaker unpicks the process of writing (as opposed to thinking) for some fascinating answers. Writing a diary or journal when you're older can help you make sense of your life. You can see development, change, patterns. Perhaps you will see that your life is not just a patchwork of random events, but a story with a theme. And it's not over: senior diaries enrich your life, and it's never too late to start! Bad Diaries Salon Am I too old to start a diary? Debunking Age Myths All the reasons and encouragement you need. Tracy Farr Author Review of Wonderland by Paula Morris on NZ Review of Books Expressive writing can help your mental health, with James Pennebaker, PhD (interview on podcast Speaking of Psychology) Therapeutic Journaling University of Wisconsin, Madison

    26 min

  6. 29/12/2025

    39. Dancing as you age with Jan Bolwell

    Dancing as you age is starting to get traction as a belief. Silver Swans, social dancing, old time dancing, Barre — multiple groups for older dancers are spreading throughout the world. Diversity in dance finally includes old people dancing, even in public! Cancer nudged one-time dance educator Jan Bolwell out of her job and into a new life as a dancer, playwright, actor. For the last 26 years she's been the legendary leader of the Crows Feet Dance Collective. These women over 35 dance every week for a new show every year. I've been a member for 20 of those years. We're a mixed bunch when it comes to training (from zero to professional) and skills, but we all dance for the love of it. Abilities change with age and that's OK At 86 my difficulties with memory, slow reflexes and balance are becoming obvious, but there's usually still a place for me in the back row. Many members are in their beautiful prime of life but others have sore knees, sore backs, osteoporosis... Stop me, you get the picture. Jan and other empathetic choreographers (including , this year, Anna Groves, Carolyn McKeefry, Tania Kopytko and Sacha Copland) bind us together into a community, tightly knit as friends who dance together. Dancing is different in old age. But you can dance sitting down, dance just with your feet or eyes or creaky old hands if nothing else works. It's terrific to have an activity which you adore and which you can carry on from 2 years to 92 years. (That's my plan.) A few examples of dance groups for older dancers Creating Dance with Elders, and How to See It (Illinois Theatre) ENBEldersCo English National Ballet Crows Feet Dance Collective Silver Swans (Royal Academy of Dance) Rebound Dance Company Christchurch Australasian Dance Collective Mature Artists Dance Experience (MADE) I could add hundreds and thousands of other dance groups: it's a thing! And Jan Bolwell started one of the first on that list with Crows Feet Dance Collective.

    28 min

  7. 16/12/2025

    38. Christmas here, now and everywhere

    Christmas is here now — and almost everywhere around the world. But how have your own celebrations changed over the years? How has your role changed and has your attitude towards Christmas changed? Are you more religious or spiritual now than you were 20 years ago? Why has this particular religious festival gone viral? Why do various non-Christian nations celebrate Christmas with a public holiday? How does Christmas vary in different countries? Above all, what does Christmas here and now mean to you? I asked random people this question on Cuba Street, Wellington, and they were mostly in agreement — but with some surprises. And of course I have my own opinions. Observance of Christmas by country (Wikipedia) An old-person Christmas tree (Writeintolife.com) Home alone on Christmas Day, 2015 (Writeintolife.com)

    17 min
  8. A joyful working life — Jill Nuthall

    17/11/2025

    A joyful working life — Jill Nuthall

    My big sister Jill Nuthall learned skills as a child that were invaluable in her career as a social worker. To realise just how damn good you were in your long working life: write about it! She talks about the people-skills she learned as a child, particularly leadership and team work. These big-sister skills were the foundation for what became a fascinating career as a social worker. Why did Jill enjoy her working life so much? After marrying young, having four children, and living in a stimulating environment in Urbana Illinois, in 1966 Jill became an at-home suburban wife back in Christchurch, Aotearoa New Zealand. Her husband went off to his wonderful job every day and Jill felt stifled and was longing to have her own career. To get a qualification, use her talents, be with grown-ups again. (By the way, that certainly didn't stop her from being a terrific mother and homemaker.) When her youngest started school, she was delighted to be able to start on a long working life. It was by writing a memoir that Jill calls "A Joyful Working Life" that Jill spotted certain themes that ran through her life. At the time, her career seemed like a patchwork, a crazy quilt. But in retrospect, it had a definite shape. She recommends that others do the same thing. If you look back and write about your working life, this can help you to understand what skills you have accumulated and to appreciate what you have achieved. It gives your family a record of your working life and can help you to make sense of all those years at work. Win-win! The episode ends with me reading "A poem for my big sister Jill." I still find it hard to read this one without choking up, and this time I almost made it. Thanks for listening! And if you like my podcast, please tell a friend Suburban women in 1960s New Zealand Poetry book that contains the poem for my big sister. And all big sisters.

  9. 04/11/2025

    36. Love in later life — with Rhonda Pritchard

    What springs to mind when you think about love in later life? In this episode, Rhonda Pritchard delivers some salutary truths about love, roles, sex, intimacy, and (especially) commitment as they apply to older people. Rhonda is a Wellington psychologist and counsellor, rather famous for her clear-eyed best seller, Love in the Real World.  Her ideas are based on 40 years' experience as a marriage counsellor, and on her personal experience as a 77-year-old in a long-lasting second marriage. Some of her words may seem blunt — even grim — in a culture that's soaked in red roses and myths of "love is all you need." And yet, In the real world, when you think about relationships in old age, they're just plain common sense. This delightful conversation dances around a serious topic. Expect the odd personal revelation and even a rare Dad joke from host Rachel. Older couples who have worked things out for themselves will feel validated — and others will pick up some very useful advice. Rhonda gives Rachel five tips to use in the highly unlikely event that she ever falls in love and contemplates a new long-term relationship. A different kind of realism: Tips on love from the 20th century Queen of romantic fiction.

  10. 35. Check yur balance with Vicki Thirkell

    20/10/2025

    35. Check yur balance with Vicki Thirkell

    A lively, reassuring chat about how to keep your balance — in body and in life Physiotherapist Vicki Thirkell and I talk about vertigo, dizziness, and that mysterious loss of balance that creeps up as we age. Vicki explains how our inner ear, vision, hearing, pain, and excessive caution all play a part—and how the brain can be retrained to keep us steady. The message? Don’t freeze up: challenge your balance. Wobbling means you’re improving. “Check your balance” applies to more than walking straight: it’s also about how we age, adapt, and stay ourselves. When I got an attack of vertigo, It was Vicki who helped me. Then she tackled another of my problems: feeling unsteady on my feet. Her key message is hopeful and practical: balance can always be improved, at any age, as long as we “do our homework”. That means strengthening our muscles, retraining our brain, and safely challenging our equilibrium—because standing still is no recipe for stability. “Check your balance” is a phrase that resonates well beyond the physical. Balance involves adjusting, and realigning, in body and in life. Getting the wobbles isn’t failure—it’s a starting point for growth. Science, exercise, and humour will help us to keep moving confidently through later life. Do you have problems with your balance? What does that feel like? And how does it affect your life? Live Stronger for Longer Vertigo Balance Clinic, Wellington, New Zealand Cleveland Clinic What is Vestibular Rehabilitation Therapy? A lesson in falling safely with Simon Manns

  • 10 Episodes

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
7 Ratings

About

I'm Rachel McAlpine, born in 1940. If you ever become old, you will still be you. But nearly everything else will change and that's pretty interesting.

Information

  • Creator
    Rachel McAlpine
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    10
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © (c) Rachel McAlpine
  • Show Website
    Learning How To Be Old