153 episodes

Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!

Pillow Talks Vanessa & Xander Marin

    • Health & Fitness
    • 5.0 • 7 Ratings

Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!

    The Secret Foreplay Technique You Don’t Even Know About

    The Secret Foreplay Technique You Don’t Even Know About

    Imagine this… you’re crawling into bed at the end of the night, thinking, “Hmmm sex sounds nice.”
    We hate to break it to you, but you’re too late! You needed to have been planning for this much earlier in the day. You needed to be using our unique approach to foreplay.
    Most of us think of foreplay as the stuff we do for 30 seconds before we move on to intercourse, but it’s so much more than that. Today we’re telling you about the magic of all-day, non-sexual foreplay.
    Links & Resources:
    Course: Art Of Initiation
    Challenge: The Connection Challenge
    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
    Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor.
    Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow.

    • 42 min
    Breaking Down A Text Fight

    Breaking Down A Text Fight

    You’ve had a fight over text message with your partner, right? Most of us have! Maybe you sent a text to your partner that was a little too snarky, or maybe you read too much into a message. Odds are your text fight did not end well…
     
    Today we’re breaking down a real text fight one of our followers sent in. It started off as a fight over facial hair, but like most fights do, evolved into something much deeper. We covered topics like body confidence, broken trust, and validation. We point out the things they did right, and the ways things went oh so wrong. You’ll get a fascinating sneak peek into another couple’s conflict, plus tons of communication tips along the way.
     
    Links & Resources:
    Our Instagram: @vanessandxander (https://www.instagram.com/vanessaandxander/)
     
    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
     
    Thanks, Green Chef! Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow (http://www.greenchef.com/60pillow) and use code 60pillow to get 60% off, plus 20% off your next 2 months

    • 55 min
    How To Get Your Partner To Open Up About Sex (Even If They’re Resistant)

    How To Get Your Partner To Open Up About Sex (Even If They’re Resistant)

    If you’re a Pillow Talks listener, you’re probably on board with the idea of talking about sex openly. But what do you do if your partner is a lot more hesitant?
     
    In this episode, we’re going over why your partner might be feeling resistant, and how you can encourage them to open up. You’ll learn our secret to intimacy-building conversation, plus tons of creative (and even sneaky) ways to get your partner to talk about sex.
     
    Links & Resources:
    Book:  Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life (https://sextalksbook.com/)
     
    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
     
    Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://cozyearth.com/) and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS

    • 49 min
    Smash Or Pass? We Try The Wildest Sex Tips You’ve Ever Heard (Volume 3)

    Smash Or Pass? We Try The Wildest Sex Tips You’ve Ever Heard (Volume 3)

    We really went there…
     
    It’s time for another round of Smash or Pass! The series where we find the internet’s weirdest sex tips, try them out, and report back to you with all the details.
     
    We dug deep to find the craziest ideas for us to try, and what we found was well… interesting. We’re even taking you into our bedroom during one of the tips so you can hear our live reaction!
     
    The Countdown Method… using a glove… the Nose Dive method. Are any of these new tips Pillow Talks Approved? You’ll just have to tune in and find out!
     
    Links & Resources:
    Course:  Art Of Initiation (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/the-art-of-initiation/)
    Guide:  Ultimate Foreplay Guides (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/)
    Guide:  Next Level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/)
     
    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
     
    Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (http://DipseaStories.com/pillow).
     
    Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://cozyearth.com/) and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS

    • 57 min
    Partner Having Penis Performance Problems? Here’s What To Do - And What Not To Do

    Partner Having Penis Performance Problems? Here’s What To Do - And What Not To Do

    “This, uh, isn’t working…”
    Most of us have experienced a partner having some performance issues in the bedroom, and feeling wildly confused about what to do. How do you react? What do you say?
     
    And let’s be honest, most of us women take these moments personally. We get into our heads thinking things like, “Am I not attractive enough? Am I bad at sex??”
     
    Today we’re breaking down for you why penis performance issues happen, and how men need you to respond in those extra-sensitive moments. Xander is also helping us non-penis owners understand what’s really going on inside men’s heads, and the pressures men feel around sex.
     
    Links & Resources:
    Guide: Sexual Mastery Package (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/sexual-mastery-package/)
     
    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
     
    Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow (https://www.zocdoc.com/) and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor.

    • 41 min
    “Help Me See Where My Partner Is Coming From!” (Advice Episode)

    “Help Me See Where My Partner Is Coming From!” (Advice Episode)

    “I just don’t understand where you’re coming from.”
     
    Have you ever been in the heat of an argument with your partner, and felt totally unable see their perspective on the issue?
     
    We put up a question box on Instagram and asked people to tell us about a conflict where they’re experiencing that kind of genuine confusion. Now, we’re breaking down the trickiest situations to help you see your partner’s point of view in a brand new light. You’ll get a fascinating sneak peek into what other couples fight about, and tons of useful relationship advice you haven’t heard before!
     
    Links & Resources:
    Guide:  Mental Load Workbook (https://vmtherapy.thrivecart.com/mental-load-workbook/)
     
    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
     
    Thanks EarthBreeze!  EarthBreeze.com/pillow (https://earthbreeze.com/pillow) to subscribe to Earth Breeze and save 40%!

    • 59 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
7 Ratings

7 Ratings

Farrahdactyl ,

My absolute favourite podcast

I came across this podcast a few years back because an instagram influencer I followed recommended them. This was the first ever podcast I listened to, and I was never interested in podcasts, until this one! I also have always been a Samsung user, but now that I finally have an Apple device, I made my apple podcast account solely to leave this review.
I have listened to every single episode. They have so much good advice but also are so funny and easy to listen to. It’s been years and I still listen regularly and I regularly find myself wishing they released episodes more often. I have learnt so much from them and am still learning.
I am yet to get my partner on board with listening and also yet to get their book (I’m not a big book reader 🫣) but I’m sure one day I’l get him hooked 🤞 and I have no doubt that I’ll love the book. I couldn’t recommend Vanessa & Xanders podcast more and I love love love their values and mission to help inside & outside of the bedroom 😍

kayinquarentine ,

Obsessed and looking for a Xander to be a Vanessa to

These guys are it. They taught me not only how to make my relationship better but to communicate my needs and to not settle until I find a guy as vulnerable and supportive as Xander— well the search is definitely not over but at least my standard for my relationship has transformed. I will find my Xander one day to be a Vanessa to. Vanessa has taught me how to communicate well not only in bed but outside and throughout my life. I learned from her how laughter and lightheartedness can help us deal with the hardest conflicts in a relationship. Every conflict can be fine if we dare to discuss it and this is a lesson I learned from Vanessa that I’m forever grateful for. I learn from you guys every single day and I hope you know how much of an inspiration you are. Love ya guys.

Hope1602 ,

My new favourite pastime

I’m obsessed! Thank you for making me feel not so alone, normalising and opening up these conversations in relationships.

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