The Optimist

Jake Hurwitz

Men's mental health sucks, and we're here to fix that. In an era of unprecedented success and isolation, The Optimist tackles the silent crisis facing ambitious men. Each week, we explore raw, honest truths about identity, connection, and what it truly means to thrive. Whether you're a founder, veteran, or someone seeking deeper meaning beyond achievement, join us in forging a new path that embraces both strength and vulnerability. Welcome to the future of modern masculinity.

  1. 4 DAYS AGO

    Your Brain Is Literally Wired To Be Pessimistic. Here's How To Fight Back, with Dr. Deepika Chopra

    Your brain isn't broken. It's just doing exactly what it was designed to do: keep you alive, not make you happy. Dr. Deepika Chopra is a behavioural scientist, optimism researcher, and author of The Power of Real Optimism. In this episode, she breaks down the actual science of why most of us default to negativity, what real optimism looks like (hint: it's nothing like toxic positivity), and the practical tools she uses with her clients to rewire how they think. This one is packed. Whether you're someone who struggles to stay positive, wakes up in a bad mood every day, or just wants to understand why your brain works against you, this episode will change how you see yourself. TIMESTAMPS 01:03 – Optimism is born through struggle, not blissful days 02:16 – How men vs. women talk to themselves at the gym (the TikTok that started it all) 05:12 – What an 8-year-old boy worrying about six packs tells us about modern masculinity 07:32 – Why it's never been harder to be a man 09:04 – How men bond vs. how women bond — the hunter-gatherer theory 11:51 – The loneliness epidemic: why making new friends as an adult is so hard 14:24 – How a mahjong group of 4 turned into 70 people (and what it teaches us about male connection) 18:32 – Why Deepika dedicated her life to studying optimism — and she's not even the most optimistic person she knows 23:48 – The brain is a future-oriented organ: what that means for your mental health 27:23 – Happiness vs. optimism: are they the same thing? 28:20 – "Happiness was manufactured in the 70s by ad agencies" — Jake's mind-bending theory 30:14 – Your brain prioritizes safety over happiness — here's why that matters 31:23 – What real optimism actually looks like (it's not what you think) 34:21 – The Joy List: the simple tool Deepika gives all her clients 36:12 – Why you can't solve problems when you're deep in a negative emotion 37:02 – Does money buy happiness? The honest answer 39:15 – "Life is happening for me, not to me" — how a random movie line changed Jake's life 40:44 – How optimism is trained, not a trait — the three ways to build it 42:24 – Why most people operate from a pessimistic place (and what to do about it) 45:05 – Optimists live longer, get sick less, and are more successful — the research 46:05 – Why optimism is actually attractive 47:23 – The genetic component of optimism is smaller than you think 50:09 – Happiness is contagious by three degrees of separation 50:33 – Jake's girlfriend wakes up happy every morning — what's actually going on in the brain 54:19 – What Deepika learned from resenting her husband's morning routine 56:00 – Why a man who can't be knocked off his frame is more attractive 01:01:16 – Going through dark times as a couple and what it reveals about your partner 01:02:09 – What does it mean to be a man in 2026? 01:04:54 – Why the most successful men tend to have sisters 01:05:23 – Why this is actually an optimistic and exciting time to be a man 01:06:34 – About Deepika's book: The Power of Real Optimism

    1h 8m

  2. 24 FEB

    The Most Wild Conversation You'll Hear All Week | A Part 2 With Adam Greenfeld

    Nothing was off limits in this one. Adam Greenfeld, the entrepreneur behind nootropics brand Thesis and one of the most vocal voices on modern masculinity, sat down with us for the second time on one of the most wide-ranging conversations we've ever had on The Optimist. We went from Kabbalah to aliens, from how to raise boys who respect women to why wanting things might actually be a feminine energy, and somehow it all made sense. If you've ever felt like something is deeply wrong with the world but couldn't put your finger on it, this episode is for you. 🕐 TIMESTAMPS 00:00 – Making women feel safe: Adam's ultimate Northstar 01:55 – What is Kabbalah? And why it hit different than religion 07:11 – How Jake found his community in LA through Kabbalah Club 10:36 – The masculine/feminine experiment Jake ran on himself 16:30 – "Pause. What a pleasure." — the mantra that changes everything 21:22 – Is vulnerability a muscle? How to train it 25:32 – Loneliness behind the scenes: what happens after everyone leaves 30:46 – What inspires and disgusts Adam about modern society 31:34 – Simulation theory, the double slit experiment & reality isn't real 40:51 – The broken food system: why the same people making you sick are selling you the cure 43:00 – Aliens, extraterrestrial life & the unexplained hockey stick of human evolution 47:21 – What does it actually mean to be a man in 2026? 50:04 – How do we hold our guy friends accountable when they mistreat women? 54:05 – How to talk to an 18-year-old about respecting women before college 01:01:08 – Creating a culture of safety so kids come to you, not away from you 01:05:57 – Why removing taboo from sex, drugs & alcohol might be the answer 01:11:51 – Scott Galloway's parenting advice & letting kids figure shit out 01:15:43 – Why guys are arseholes to women — and what's really going on underneath 01:21:14 – Attachment theory: how your first 2 years of life wired you for love 01:26:08 – "Wanting things is for girls" — the concept of masculine capacity 01:32:12 – Jake's spending addiction, the 7-day no-spend challenge & what freedom actually feels like 01:39:17 – Facing death: fear, near-death experiences & what's on the other side 01:47:30 – Reincarnation, simulation theory & why death might not exist 01:51:49 – The one thing Elon Musk says has driven all of his success #MensMentalHealth #ModernMasculinity #TheOptimist #AdamGreenfeld #Kabbalah #SimulationTheory #AttachmentTheory #PersonalDevelopment #MindsetShift #Masculinity

    1h 56m

  3. 18 FEB

    How Your Attachment Style Is Quietly Running Your Life And What To Do About It, With Thais Gibson

    Have you ever wondered why you keep repeating the same patterns in relationships at work, in friendships, or with a romantic partner? The answer might have been decided before you were even 3 years old. In this episode, Jake sits down with Thais Gibson, attachment style expert and founder of the Personal Development School, to break down everything you need to know about attachment theory…what it is, how it forms, and most importantly, how to rewire it. Whether you're anxiously attached, dismissive avoidant, fearful avoidant, or securely attached, this conversation will change the way you see yourself and everyone around you. Thais shares her own powerful story of growing up in a chaotic household, developing a fearful avoidant attachment style, battling addiction in her teens, and how understanding the subconscious mind became the key to turning her life around. This is one of the most practical and eye-opening conversations we've had on the show. If you've ever felt like your relationships (romantic, professional, or otherwise) aren't working the way you want them to, this episode is for you. Key Topics Covered The four attachment styles: secure, anxious, dismissive avoidant, and fearful avoidantHow attachment styles are formed in early childhood (ages 0–3)The Strange Situation Experiment by John Bowlby and Mary AinsworthWhy your subconscious mind runs 95–97% of your behaviorHow to identify attachment styles in dating, friendships, and the workplaceThe anxious-avoidant relationship trap and how to break the cycleWhy men are more likely to be dismissive avoidantHow to rewire your attachment style at any ageWhat healthy masculinity looks like through the lens of attachment theoryIf this episode resonated with you, please leave a review, share it with someone who needs to hear it, and subscribe so you never miss an episode.

    1h 5m

  4. 12 FEB

    Brooks Bash Ran 100 Marathons in 100 Days. Here’s What Actually Mattered.

    Brooks Bash ran 100 marathons in 100 days. On paper, that sounds like discipline. Grit. Insanity. But what happens after the finish line? To kickoff Season 2, Brooks and I go way deeper than the miles. We talk about self-doubt. The quiet pressure men carry. The post-achievement crash no one warns you about. Why purpose matters more than performance. And why doing something extreme doesn’t automatically heal what’s underneath. This isn’t just about running. It’s about masculinity, identity, usefulness, and what actually builds a man. If you’ve ever chased something big hoping it would “fix” you, this one’s for you.

    1h 19m

  5. 7 JAN

    Why Comfort Is the Most Dangerous Thing in Your Life, with Tanner Waite

    Why are so many men stuck…anxious, restless, and disconnected…even though their lives look “fine” on paper? In this episode of The Optimist, Jake sits down with Tanner Waite; big-wave surfer, endurance athlete, and creator, for a raw conversation about fear, comfort, anger, and the moments that actually shape a man. From nearly drowning at Nazaré to experiencing a full mental breakdown in college… from surfing as an escape to surfing as a mirror… Tanner shares how chasing comfort almost cost him his sense of purpose, and why voluntarily choosing difficulty changed everything. This episode explores: - Why comfort is more dangerous than failure - How fear, anger, and pressure shape modern men - What happens when you remove structure after college - Why most men are afraid of the wrong things - The difference between pain that breaks you and pain that builds you - How nature, endurance, and stillness rewire the mind - Why sunsets became Tanner’s most powerful mental health practice This isn’t motivation porn. It’s not “grind harder” advice. And it’s definitely not about becoming fearless. It’s about learning how to meet fear, sit with discomfort, and build a life that actually feels alive. If you’ve ever felt numb, restless, or stuck in a comfortable life that doesn’t fulfill you, this conversation will hit close to home.

    1h 15m

  6. 09/12/2025

    Be Hard to Kill But Soft Enough to Speak - Christian De La Torre on PTSD, Brotherhood & Being a Man

    Veteran & former infantry officer Christian De La Torre gets real about delayed PTSD, rockets over Bagram, and the blueprint men need now: the “King’s Council.” We break down how to ask for help without feeling weak, why every man should learn self‑defense (and change a tire), building real brotherhood, and staying level in hard seasons. What you’ll learn PTSD that shows up years later—how triggers work and what to do The King’s Council: a practical playbook for men’s friendship & accountability ROTC vs. enlisted: respect, leadership, and earning trust Why trained men fight less—and why confrontation can be healthy AARs (after‑action reviews) for life, not just the military Sunday as a barometer for your life & stress protocol that actually helps Chapters 00:00 Cold open 02:58 ROTC vs. enlisted, earning respect as a young officer 06:03 Afghanistan, Bagram & what combat looked like in his era 10:13 Movies vs. reality—how the battlefield changed 16:13 “Closest call” — rockets, alarms and fear management 18:27 PTSD didn’t hit right away: the delayed wave 20:07 Triggers: motorcycles, helicopters, fireworks 23:12 “Pain is pain” — don’t compare your trauma 27:12 “It ain’t weak to speak” — how to start the convo 31:12 Vulnerability invites vulnerability: the car & bar stories 36:41 Creating safe space with men: trust > performance 40:14 What to take to your partner vs. your guys 44:40 King’s Council rules: cadence, honesty, accountability 50:55 AARs for civilians: debriefs, sustains, improves 54:52 Where to find brothers: jiu‑jitsu, run clubs, retreats, even gaming 57:11 Veterans & civilians: step‑by‑step to build your squad 1:02:20 What it means to be a man today (integrity, service, vulnerability) 1:05:00 Why “change a tire” still matters (competence & calm) 1:12:14 Self‑defense & fitness: be capable, not reckless 1:18:41 Hard seasons: mindset, journaling, small wins 1:21:15 Action is vitamin A — get vertical, get moving 1:36:03 Do 4 hard things a year; compound the average 1:37:35 Sunday as a life barometer; make it the best day 1:44:18 What’s next for Christian (content road trip, The Trace Club) 1:45:57 Where to find him & wrap Resources mentioned Men’s groups/retreats (e.g., Everyman), jiu‑jitsu & martial arts, run clubs After‑Action Review (AAR) framework for life debriefs “It ain’t weak to speak” (mental health ethos) About the show Tactical conversations at the intersection of men’s mental health, performance, and modern masculinity, grounded in actions you can use today. Disclaimer This conversation includes adult language and mentions of war. It’s for educational purposes only and is not medical advice. If you’re struggling, talk to a qualified professional or someone you trust today. If this helped you: Like 👍 • Subscribe 🔔 • Comment: Who’s in your King’s Council—and what’s your next “hard thing”?

    1h 43m

  7. 02/12/2025

    Test, Don’t Guess: Superpower’s Max Marchione on Labs, Testosterone & HRV

    If your energy crashes after meals, your HRV is low, or you suspect low T, this episode is your blueprint. Max Marchione—Founder/CEO of Superpower—breaks down the health “foundations” that actually move the needle: lab testing, gut & metabolic health, endocrine disruptors, HRV, and micro‑habits you can stack into a busy life. We also get into risk, culture, and modern masculinity. What you’ll learn Why testing beats guessing (labs, ApoB/Lp(a), vitamin D, prediabetes) How gut health and metabolism drive mood, energy, and stress HRV 101: what it is, why high performers often have high HRV, and how to raise it Micro‑habits that compound (elevator meditations, 5.5/5.5 breathing, “micro‑moments”) Testosterone & today’s environment: behavior, toxins, and practical fixes Building teams & culture where fun is a performance input Risk math for founders: “price risk right” and move fasterChapters (approx.) 00:00 Cold open 07:05 Teenage Max: rule‑breaking, early ventures, health struggles 09:43 DIY diagnostics: CGMs, gut tests, mercury, pushing doctors 11:31 Stress & anxiety: fix sleep, gut, hormones first 12:57 Small levers: breathing, supplements, “micro” stress management 15:08 Why lab testing changes behavior 16:26 Common 2025 patterns: vitamin D, ApoB/Lp(a), prediabetes 18:04 Why Superpower now; consumer health turning point 21:19 Focus > doing everything; killing v1 & dropping price 23:46 Risk math: “I don’t take much risk—I price it better” 25:57 Culture, failure, parenting & school conditioning 28:39 Testosterone & modern behavior 32:49 Endocrine disruptors, BPA, mold, air quality 36:39 The Superpower protocol: from data to action 37:51 Transformation story 40:12 Social health & community 43:26 Burnout: find the “why” 44:08 HRV explained; why high performers often have high HRV 47:16 Passive optimization: elevator meditations 50:09 Micro‑moments that compound 51:58 Building a healthy office; fun as a performance input 54:17 Banking vs ideal culture 57:07 What it means to be a man today 59:45 2026 goal: do 5 years in 1

    51 min

  8. 05/11/2025

    Being Gay Doesn’t Make You Less of a Man, with Michael C Bryan

    Michael C Bryan grew up in the 70s and 80s, queer, flamboyant, and full of light, in a world that told him he was too much, too different, and not a “real man.” In this raw, emotional, and often hilarious conversation, Michael shares the truth about growing up gay in a violently homophobic time, surviving sexual trauma, reclaiming his identity after being kicked out by his family, and what it really means to be a man today. We talk about: How gay men internalize shame around masculinity The forgotten trauma of queer boyhood Reparenting your inner child Why rage can be a creative force And how emotional freedom is spiritual freedom Michael also leads a powerful guided visualization at the end of the episode that left me almost in tears. If you’ve ever felt like you didn’t belong in the “rules of manhood” you were handed, this episode will meet you exactly where you are. Full episode is now live.

    1h 40m
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About

Men's mental health sucks, and we're here to fix that. In an era of unprecedented success and isolation, The Optimist tackles the silent crisis facing ambitious men. Each week, we explore raw, honest truths about identity, connection, and what it truly means to thrive. Whether you're a founder, veteran, or someone seeking deeper meaning beyond achievement, join us in forging a new path that embraces both strength and vulnerability. Welcome to the future of modern masculinity.

Information

  • Creator
    Jake Hurwitz
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    35
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Jake Hurwitz
  • Show Website
    The Optimist

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