Ask The Betrayed

Sharon & Rae
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The Ask The Betrayed podcast provides tangible hope to those in crisis and a safe place for Betrayed Partners to find healing and insight into the behaviors of the Unfaithful (who can also to learn how to help their Betrayed partners heal). We hope to fulfill a great need for betrayed partners to hear professionals who have personally experienced the deep traumatic pain of betrayal: Ask the Betrayed not only provides expert insight, it is hosted by two Betrayed Partners in long-term recovery from Betrayal Trauma, Sharon and Rae, who both specialize in helping Betrayed Partners, the Unfaithful and Couples recover from betrayal: - Sharon is a Licensed Therapist and Certified Professional Coach who is certified in betrayal trauma and, along with her husband, James Annear (@AskTheUnfaithful) - Rae is a Master Certified Life, Relationship and Divorce coach Ask the Betrayed airs every other week, alternating with it's companion channel, Ask the Unfaithful (@asktheunfaithful)

  1. 6 FEB

    Take Your Power Back After Infidelity: A Proven Betrayal Recovery Tool

    In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore why betrayed partners so often internalize blame after infidelity — quietly keeping you stuck in pain, powerlessness, and re-traumatization. This conversation is about restoring choice, agency, and dignity in the middle of relational trauma. You'll learn how taking responsibility for what isn't yours can: • drain your emotional energy • fuel shame and self-doubt • blur boundaries • keep you locked in chaos instead of clarity Through real stories, clinical insight, and compassionate truth-telling, Sharon and Rae show how this tool helps betrayed partners separate what belongs to the unfaithful from what belongs to them, reclaim personal power, and make grounded, self-protective choices. In this episode, we cover: ✅ What "Quit Taking It Personally" actually means in betrayal recovery ✅ Why betrayal makes everything feel personal — even when it isn't ✅ Common blame-shifting messages betrayed partners internalize ✅ How taking things personally gives away your power ✅ The connection between Q-TIP, boundaries, and self-care ✅ Why blaming yourself can feel empowering — but isn't ✅ How to pause, reality-check, and choose clarity over chaos ✅ A simple daily practice to interrupt trauma-driven thinking This episode is especially helpful for: • betrayed partners in early recovery • those stuck in self-blame or over-responsibility • anyone working to rebuild confidence and agency after betrayal • therapists and coaches supporting betrayal trauma healing If this episode resonated, please like, subscribe, and share — it helps others find support and hope after betrayal. 💬 Please comment below! 🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com ) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

    33 min

  2. 26 JAN

    Deconstructing Gaslighting: What Is It, Really?

    Gaslighting after betrayal can make you question your memory, your emotions, and your reality — and that confusion is not weakness. It's a trauma response. In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Rae sits down with gaslighting specialist and CORE Relationship Recovery team member Sarah Morales (SarahMoralesCoaching.com) to break down what gaslighting actually is, why it's so damaging after infidelity, and how betrayed partners can reclaim clarity and self-trust. Sarah shares her framework for identifying gaslighting behaviors without getting trapped in the endless question: "Did they mean to?" You'll learn why gaslighting doesn't always come from narcissism, how shame can drive gaslighting patterns, and the difference between gaslighting vs. a gaslighting attempt — a powerful shift that restores agency and reduces self-doubt. We also discuss: ✅ The most common question betrayed partners ask: "Was that gaslighting?" ✅ Sarah's core definition that helps you answer that question ✅ Why gaslighting produces deep self-doubt and loss of self-trust ✅ What is Self-gaslighting?  ✅ The red flags of internalized manipulation ✅ Unfaithful partners: discerning between intention vs impact — and how gaslighting blocks repair ✅ Practical hope: how healing reduces gaslighting behaviors over time If you've ever thought, "Maybe I am too much" or "Maybe I'm crazy,"  - you're not - and this episode is for you. ✨Where to find Sarah and take her courses: Listen to her podcast: Deconstructing Gaslighting (2 seasons / 50+ episodes) For Courses, visit: https://www.sarahmoralescoaching.com/ → Deconstructing Gaslighting Academy TM (https://www.sarahmoralescoaching.com/...) Please note: "Deconstructing Gaslighting" is a Trademark (TM) of Sarah Morales and may not be used without express permission 💬 How have you been gaslighted? Please leave a comment below - we'd love to hear from you 🔔 Please Like and Subscribe for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this episode with someone rebuilding clarity after betrayal trauma. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com ) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

    40 min

  3. 20 JAN

    STOP BLOCKING YOUR OWN BETRAYAL RECOVERY PROCESS

    In this episode, Sharon and Rae unpack a surprisingly common barrier to healing after betrayal trauma — "Cat Poster Thinking" the mindset of believing "I already know how this works" or relying on clichés, platitudes, and intellectual over-control to cope. And while it may feel protective, it can quietly block real growth, connection, and emotional transformation.  This episode also helps the Unfaithful see how they self-limit their own growth in recovery. Together they explore: ✨ Why betrayed partners crave control after trauma ✨ How trauma filters your perception and limits what you can "see" ✨ Why intellectual insight alone can't heal a shattered heart ✨ What happens when you try to think your way out of pain ✨ How over-talking, over-explaining, and "knowing everything" disconnects you from help ✨ How to shift from head-level knowing → to heart-level healing ✨ Why receiving guidance from a trained professional is essential ✨ What real, embodied healing looks and feels like ✨ How betrayed partners can carry too much of the emotional load without being aware of it ✨ How to let go of the urge to lead, fix, or parent your unfaithful partner ✨ Simple questions & practices to move from superficial coping to deep, meaningful change This is an episode filled with stories, real-life clinical examples, neurobiological insight, and grounded wisdom. If you're stuck in trauma responses, struggling to trust your therapist, or feeling disconnected from your own healing, this conversation is for you. 💬 Please comment below 🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com)   Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

    33 min

  4. 2 JAN · BONUS

    SHORTS S1 - HOPE: CHOOSING TO BELIEVE THAT HEALING IS POSSIBLE

    In this episode of Ask The Betrayed - Shorts, Sharon speaks directly to anyone feeling shattered, lost, or hopeless after infidelity. She explains why betrayed partners often cling to the hope that the old relationship can be restored—and why real hope comes from something deeper: rebuilding your sense of self, your worth, and your inner clarity. Sharon shares personal insight, including the moment she realized she had to live for herself, align her life with her values, and rebuild a foundation strong enough to stand on—with or without the relationship. She teaches how to shift from living in reaction to living intentionally, how to reclaim the parts of yourself you abandoned, and how to find tiny sparks of hope even in devastation. This is a message for every betrayed partner who wonders: Will I ever be okay again? The answer is yes. And it begins with turning inward, grounding in your truth, and taking one small courageous step at a time. 💛 In This Episode You'll Learn: • Why hope feels impossible after betrayal—and why it matters • The difference between hoping for the old relationship vs. hoping for your healing • How changed reality, secret lives, and grief shape the hopelessness you feel • The moment Sharon realized healing required living for herself • How to rebuild self-worth after betrayal • Why focusing inward—not on the unfaithful partner—is essential • How to shift from defense to offense in your own life • Small daily choices that awaken hope again Hope isn't naïve — it's choosing to believe healing is possible even when the path is unclear. 💬 Please comment below 🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com ) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

    9 min

  5. 18/12/2025

    CAN GRATITUDE AND THE PAIN OF BETRAYAL COEXIST?

    In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore what gratitude really looks like in the wake of infidelity — without toxic positivity, forced silver linings, or emotional self-betrayal: • Not having to pretend you're okay • Not minimizing the trauma Learn why gratitude gets complicated during the holidays where it seems to be expected, how survivors toggle between grief and glimpses of joy, and why holding two truths at the same time is such a powerful recovery skill. You'll hear stories of those first post-betrayal holidays… the bathroom escape plan… the moment when clarity becomes a gift, even if painful… and how betrayed partners can reclaim meaningful moments instead of pretending they're "fine." 💛 In this episode, we talk about… • Why forced gratitude is retraumatizing, not healing • How the brain uses small moments of goodness like traction • The power of presence, honesty, and strategic choices during holidays (and, really, any other time) • How to reset at any moment • Why clarity — even painful clarity — is something to honor • How to find "meaningful moments of comfort and joy" • Ways the unfaithful can show appreciation that truly matters Healing isn't about plastering a smile over heartbreak — it's about making room for hope while telling the truth about the hurt. 💬 Please comment below 🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

    35 min

  6. 28/11/2025

    SECRET WEAPONS AGAINST BEING MISUNDERSTOOD

    In this vulnerable and transformative episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae dive into one of the most universal pain points for betrayed partners: being misunderstood. Whether it's feeling dismissed, judged, minimized, or simply unseen, betrayal trauma magnifies how deeply we need to be understood — and how hard it can be to communicate our truth. Drawing from decades of clinical experience and lived wisdom, Sharon and Rae unpack why so many betrayed partners struggle to express themselves, why partners often misread our emotional signals, and how childhood conditioning, nervous system responses, and relational trauma shape the ways we share (or silence) our truths. This episode gives you practical tools, compassionate insight, and scripts you can use today to help you be understood — without shrinking, apologizing, or losing yourself.   🎧 In This Episode You'll Learn: • Why BEING misunderstood is different from FEELING misunderstood • How childhood messages ("You're too much," "Don't be a burden") teach us to hide our true selves • How societal norms silence betrayed partners  • Why your nervous system's "big energy" can unintentionally trigger defensiveness • How partners filter your vulnerability through their own wounds • Why many betrayed partners stop sharing after receiving dismissive or hurtful responses • How to make "bids for connection" that actually work • Tools for self-regulation before hard conversations • How to prepare for a vulnerable conversation so you can speak clearly and be heard • Questions to ask yourself to understand why something is hurting so much • How trauma, history, and old wounds intensify your reactions   💬 Key Takeaways: • You deserve to be seen, heard, and understood — not judged or minimized. • Self-regulation is the first step in being understood; clarity starts inside you. • The power of "I" statements  • Your partner's reaction is not a measure of your worth or clarity. • Vulnerability requires preparation, boundaries, and compassion for yourself. • Healthy relationships start with healthy self-connection   💡 You'll Also Hear About: • How neurodiversity (ADHD/ADD) impacts communication • How to set the emotional stage so your partner can truly hear you • How to avoid common traps   💬 Please comment below 🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

    39 min

  7. 14/11/2025

    MYTH BUSTERS - Exposing Blocks to Betrayal Recovery

    In this practical episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae tackle some of the most common and destructive myths that keep betrayed partners trapped in confusion, guilt, and fear after infidelity. From "This pain will last forever" to "If I can keep them from acting out, I'll be safe" they dismantle the cultural and emotional myths that block healing—and replace them with compassionate, reality-based truths. In This Episode You'll Learn that: ✅ Healing from betrayal requires truth, not perfection. ✅ Repair happens through consistency, not control. ✅ You can love your family and protect your peace. ✅ Hope isn't naïve—it's a survival skill. ✅ How to parent through betrayal trauma recovery ✅ When to seek help ✅ How to recognize the lies that keep you stuck in fear and self-blame. Whether you're early in your healing or well into your rebuilding journey, this conversation offers hope, insight, and practical strategies for moving forward with clarity and strength. 💬 Please comment below: Which of these myths have come up for you in your recovery?  👍 If this episode resonates, like and subscribe for more support on your healing journey. 🔔 Turn on notifications so you never miss an episode! Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com ) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

    39 min

  8. 30/10/2025

    Big Fat Lies We Tell Ourselves in Betrayal Recovery

    In this powerful episode of Ask the Betrayed, Sharon and Rae expose the Big Fat Lies that keep betrayed partners trapped in pain and confusion after infidelity. From the cultural myths of "Good things happen to good people" to the heartbreaking belief that "Once a cheater, always a cheater," this conversation dismantles the false stories that sabotage healing. Together, they share real-life examples and clinical insights on: ✅ Why we cling to lies like "If I were better, this wouldn't have happened." ✅ How shame, denial, and comparison keep you emotionally stuck. ✅ Why believing "People can't change" blocks recovery for both partners. ✅ How endurance and "being strong" can actually become a trauma response. ✅ What genuine healing looks like when truth replaces self-blame. You'll also hear deeply personal reflections—from Sharon's story of objectification and "CEO-style" relationships to Rae's raw honesty about the panic, comparison, and self-loss that betrayal creates. This episode is a compassionate reminder that your pain matters, your boundaries are sacred, and your healing is possible. 💬 Key Takeaways: • Betrayal trauma thrives on false narratives—healing begins when you stop believing them. • You didn't cause the betrayal. • Strength isn't pretending you're fine—it's choosing truth over survival mode. • You can believe in change without abandoning your safety. 💡 Listen if you're ready to: ✔ Break free from self-blame ✔ Challenge the myths that keep you small ✔ Reclaim your voice and your truth after infidelity 💬 Please comment below if any of these 7 traps have appeared in your recovery - let the community know which ones, how they affected your recovery and if & how you have been able to move forward from them. 🔔 Please subscribe for more episodes of Ask the Betrayed and Ask the Unfaithful (@AskTheUnfaithful on YouTube) for weekly conversations that bring truth, guidance, and hope to couples navigating betrayal recovery. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com ) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

    32 min
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About

The Ask The Betrayed podcast provides tangible hope to those in crisis and a safe place for Betrayed Partners to find healing and insight into the behaviors of the Unfaithful (who can also to learn how to help their Betrayed partners heal). We hope to fulfill a great need for betrayed partners to hear professionals who have personally experienced the deep traumatic pain of betrayal: Ask the Betrayed not only provides expert insight, it is hosted by two Betrayed Partners in long-term recovery from Betrayal Trauma, Sharon and Rae, who both specialize in helping Betrayed Partners, the Unfaithful and Couples recover from betrayal: - Sharon is a Licensed Therapist and Certified Professional Coach who is certified in betrayal trauma and, along with her husband, James Annear (@AskTheUnfaithful) - Rae is a Master Certified Life, Relationship and Divorce coach Ask the Betrayed airs every other week, alternating with it's companion channel, Ask the Unfaithful (@asktheunfaithful)

Information

  • Creator
    Sharon & Rae
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    19
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Show Website
    Ask The Betrayed

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