Baked Battlefields

Baked Battlefields

Daddy History and Alex Woody Comedy come together after a few bowls of the Devil's lettuce and talk about some of the craziest military history on record!

  1. 1 DAY AGO

    Siege of Tomis (March 30, 598)

    In 598 CE, a massive Avar–Slavic army surrounded the Byzantine stronghold of Tomis on the Black Sea coast. The city was cut off, the siege tightened, and it looked like another Byzantine frontier city was about to fall. But the battle for Tomis didn’t end with a dramatic charge or a broken wall — it ended with disease spreading through the Avar army. As plague tore through the camps, their leader Bayan I was forced to abandon the siege and retreat north of the Danube. In this episode of Baked Battlefields, we talk frontier warfare, steppe empires, Byzantine survival strategy, and how some of history’s biggest military defeats didn’t come from enemy armies — but from logistics, disease, and time. Precise history.Imprecise sobriety.Sometimes the most powerful army loses to something it can’t even see.

    1hr 5min

  2. 24 MAR

    Battle of Uhud (March 23, 625)

    On March 23, 625, outside the city of Medina, a battle took place that would become one of the most important lessons in early Islamic history. In this episode of Baked Battlefields, we break down the Battle of Uhud, where the forces led by Muhammad faced the army of the Quraysh one year after the Battle of Badr. Early success turned into a difficult defeat when a key group of archers left their position, allowing a cavalry attack led by Khalid ibn al-Walid to strike from the rear. We talk battlefield discipline, leadership under pressure, the consequences of small decisions in big moments, and how this battle shaped the future strategy and unity of the early Muslim community. Along the way, we keep it thoughtful, respectful, and focused on the history and lessons of Uhud. Precise history.Imprecise sobriety.Discipline wins battles.

    1hr 16min

  3. 17 MAR

    First Siege of Jerusalem (March 16, 597 BCE)

    On March 16, 597 BC, the Neo-Babylonian Empire surrounded Jerusalem, forced its surrender, and changed the course of history without completely destroying the city—yet. In this episode of Baked Battlefields, we break down the First Siege of Jerusalem, when Nebuchadnezzar II captured the city and deported its king, elites, and skilled population to Babylon. Instead of total annihilation, this was a calculated move—remove leadership, control the region, and send a message. We talk siege warfare in the ancient world, imperial strategy, why small kingdoms struggled between empires, and how this moment set the stage for the later destruction of Jerusalem and the Babylonian Exile. Along the way, we keep it thoughtful, grounded, and remind ourselves that some of history’s biggest turning points happen not in explosive battles—but in decisions that reshape entire societies. Precise history.Imprecise sobriety.Empires don’t forget rebellion.

    39 min

  4. 12 MAR

    Conquest of Tbilisi (March 9, 1226)

    On March 9, 1226, a ruler whose empire had just been shattered by the Mongols marched into the Caucasus looking for revenge, power, and a new base of control. In this episode of Baked Battlefields, we break down the Conquest of Tbilisi, when Jalal ad-Din Mingburnu, the last ruler of the Khwarazmian Empire, captured the Georgian capital during his desperate attempt to rebuild power after the Mongol invasions. The fall of Tbilisi was brutal and destabilizing, leaving the region weakened just as new threats were emerging. We talk collapsing empires, siege warfare in the Caucasus, the ripple effects of the Mongol expansion, and how leaders who have lost everything sometimes fight the hardest. Along the way, we get a little high, crack some jokes about strategy and survival, and explore how the chaos of one empire’s fall can reshape an entire region. Precise history.Imprecise sobriety.Empires fall loudly.

    48 min

  5. 2 MAR

    Siege of Rome (March 2, 537)

    On March 2, 537, Rome — no longer the capital of an empire but still the most symbolic city on Earth — was surrounded by an Ostrogoth army determined to take it back. In this episode of Baked Battlefields, we break down the opening of the Siege of Rome, where Belisarius and a tiny Byzantine force faced the army of Vitiges. Belisarius personally rode out near the Flaminian Gate with his elite bucellarii cavalry and nearly got cut off in the opening clashes. What followed was a brutal, grinding siege where starvation and disease mattered more than swords. We talk elite bodyguards, collapsing supply lines, why Rome still mattered politically, and how one general surviving a near-disaster may have saved the campaign. Along the way, we get a little high, crack some jokes, and remind ourselves that sometimes holding on is the real victory. Precise history. Imprecise sobriety. Sieges are hell.

    44 min

  6. 25 FEB

    The Diocletianic Persecutions (February 23, 303)

    On February 23, 303, Roman emperor Diocletian ordered the destruction of a Christian church in Nicomedia — launching what would become the most intense persecution of Christians in Roman history. In this episode of Baked Battlefields, we break down the start of the Diocletianic Persecution — a campaign built not on battlefield victories but on imperial edicts, bureaucracy, and fear of losing control. Churches were destroyed, scriptures burned, and believers forced to choose between sacrifice to the Roman gods or punishment under imperial law. We talk power, politics, and why Rome believed unity required conformity — and how the attempt to erase a movement may have strengthened it instead. Along the way, we keep it real, keep it respectful, and explore why some of history’s biggest turning points happen without armies ever clashing. Precise history. Imprecise sobriety. Empires vs ideas.

    30 min

  7. 16 FEB

    The Battle of Karuse (February 16, 1270)

    On February 16, 1270, heavily armored crusader knights charged across frozen ground expecting an easy victory… and learned the hard way that ice doesn’t care about your armor. In this episode of Baked Battlefields, we break down the Battle of Karuse, where the Grand Duchy of Lithuania defeated the Livonian Order during the Northern Crusades. Lithuania used terrain, patience, and winter itself as a weapon—turning heavy cavalry into easy targets and proving that smart tactics beat shiny armor every time. We talk frozen battlefields, crusading ambition, casualties, and why fighting on terrain you don’t understand is a terrible life choice. Along the way, we get a little high, crack some jokes, and remind ourselves that winter remains undefeated. Precise history. Imprecise sobriety. Ice is a combatant.

    43 min

  8. 9 FEB

    The Armed Restoration of Boleslaus III (February 9, 1003)

    On February 9, 1003, a duke got his throne back the medieval way—by calling his cousin, who showed up with an army. In this episode of Baked Battlefields, we break down the armed restoration of Boleslaus III, who reclaimed power in Bohemia with military backing from Bolesław I the Brave. There was no glorious battlefield clash—but there was an armed intervention, political violence, executions, and one of the fastest betrayals in medieval history. We talk coups without battles, how legitimacy actually worked in the Middle Ages, why armed “help” always comes with strings attached, and how this power play ended with imprisonment, blinding, and foreign control. Along the way, we get a little high, crack some jokes, and remind ourselves that not all wars happen on battlefields—but they all leave bodies. Precise history. Imprecise sobriety. Hostile takeovers, medieval edition.

    42 min
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About

Daddy History and Alex Woody Comedy come together after a few bowls of the Devil's lettuce and talk about some of the craziest military history on record!

Information

  • Creator
    Baked Battlefields
  • Years Active
    2k
  • Episodes
    13
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Baked Battlefields
  • Show Website
    Baked Battlefields